Don't Mind the Crowd

One of the most discouraging things anyone faces as they try to elevate themselves to a new level of being is the 'wisdom' of friends and family who think you should 'get real' and 'stop dreaming'.

Surprisingly the further down the ladder you are, the worse it is.  I've found that people simply don't want to see you succeed, because if you do, then it's going to force them to have to reevaluate their own lives.  Possibly have to make some hard decisions and make some changes.  IE: It makes them uncomfortable.

They are locked into their limited mindsets and would rather sit there in that (dis)comfort zone - the pain they know - rather than try something different.  They are afraid of failure (and/or success) and don't want you bursting their bubble.

This is nothing new and I've blogged about it in thecuphalffull.com.  It can be difficult for people to deal with because you need to either develop a thick skin or find new friends who are more supportive or open-minded.

What is even more difficult is when those that do support you, leave, suggesting you don't have what it takes. Particularly if it's a spouse or loved one.   That can really be a huge blow to your ego and confidence.

I suggest you do two things: 1) Listen and learn - Odds are they have some solid justification for they way they feel.  You probably can't see what they see, which is all the more reason to use this time to really listen to what they are saying, perhaps between the lines and reflect on yourself.

They have a different prespective of you than you do and likely see things in you that you cannot see for yourself.   It's like having a mole on the back of your neck.   Without a mirror you cannot see it for what it is but everyone else can. 

2) Keep on going anyway!  Okay, you have issues.  Maybe you have some hang-ups you're still trying to get over or habits that need addressing or skeleton's in your closet.  Welcome to life.  Everyone does.  So what?  Do you think world leaders don't have some issues?  Or CEOs?  Of course they do. 

I'm not suggesting you ignore yours.  Listen, learn and do something about those things that hinder you.  I am suggesting you don't let the fact that you are not currently perfect (and guess what? Never will be...) stop your momentum.   No one is perfect.  Those people who lost faith in you aren't perfect either.   Perhaps they have it together more in some area of their life, but inevitably you have it together more in others.   Quite likely the real reason they left is because you're not up to carrying their baggage.  Awww... Too bad.  Let them carry their own baggage themselves - builds character.  Regardless of what the situation may be, it's no excuse to stop.

You might want to solicite some second (and third, forth, fifth) opinions.  Were they right?  Do other people see the same faults?   Feedback is a wonderful thing.  It enables you to identify areas of development that you might not have otherwise seen.  Conversely, it also softens the blow if someone is over-reacting to something you've done.  Either way you gain a better perspective of where you are and where you need to be.

Canfield Coaching - One Week After

The title is a little misleading as I'm still doing the Canfield Coaching but the 12 weeks of scheduled coaching sessions are over.    I can still do the exercises on my own and call the coaching hotline until the end of the year.

However, now that I don't have anyone calling me to see how I'm doing, how am I doing?

Overall... Great!

The thing I'm most pleased with is the resiliency of my mental game.   Feeling very upbeat and positive despite the current situation which frankly isn't all that great.

Let's look at some of the various areas

Writing - Going great.  Finished the 3 critiques needed prior to posting my own stuff.  Posted Isecas The Dream Cat and the Flood (working title) which has gotten positive feedback.  Still doing critiques and enjoying helping others.

Isagenix - Ah... going.  Still haven't gotten a second person signed up.  Person number one is pleased with her results and plans on continuing as I am myself but my technique definitely needs work.  I've been trying to 'sell' it and that's not the right approach.  It's more of listening to people and providing it as an answer to their solutions but not as a hard sell, as a very soft sell gently massaged in often over multiple discussions.   So I still sold on the product, and sold on the opportunity but it means I have to develop skillsets I currently don't have - but need!  Social skills and networking.   The opportunity to develop those in a supportive environment and profit from those is enticing.

Career - Been dragging my heels on this as I didn't have a clear idea what I was doing.   Was discussing with a Canfield coach and that helped shape my thinking.   I know what I want to be doing (until my writing/Isagenix can support me) which is Life Coaching.   Now I have to figure out how.

Relationships - Did I mentioned overall things weren't so great?  Here's why.  Due do some unidentified and therefore unaddressed personal issues, I torpedoed my budding relationship.   I am disappointed that it is (currently) over but I am seeing this as a beginning not an ending.   It situation has brought the glaring personal fault under the microscope and has allowed me to attack it and work on extracting it.   Otherwise, I am confident that we'll get back together, however a break is now needed so women of the world - rejoice - you have a chance!    However, currently I'm focused on resolving this flaw not getting into a new relationship.

Other - I've volunteered to at Covenant House - a shelter for homeless teens and they were most pleased with my application.   I've been in touch with them quite a bit but they do not have a need at the moment, however, they will be in touch when one arises.
             I've modded my Wii.  Doesn't sound important but considering how much time I used to waste in stores looking for a bargain to add to my collection, this is a huge time (and money) saver.   I can hear the cries of 'Pirate!' but the Wii is near the end of it's life, I'm getting the imports and excessively rare games I cannot purchase (or could otherwise never play due to region lock) and besides that, I don't even play half the games I do buy! 
             Getting contacts today - so working on improving my image.
            Still doing Coaching exercises.   Have one more do to, then I'll have to decide if I want to redo some or all of them again for reinforcement.

That's enough details of my life for now.  I'm off to start living it some more.  Excelsior!

Canfield Coaching - An Open Letter to Jack Canfield

This coming Wednesday marks the last of my scheduled coaching calls.  I was requested to post a Youtube video of my successes with this program but I deferred as I did not feel I had anything worthy of publicly talking about.  So instead I was asked to write a letter 'directly' to Jack Canfield about my experience.

An Open Letter to Jack Canfield

Dear Jack Canfield,

At the request of my coach, Gary Reid, I'm writing this open letter to you (open because it's posted on my blog) regarding my success with your coaching program.

First off, allow me to congratulate you on the outstanding success you have managed to achieve, you are a beckon of hope to us all.   Secondly, thank you for your tireless efforts to help others to achieve their own success.

As for the coaching program, when I started I assigned two determining factors to measure the success of the program.  1) That I had fundamentally and permanently altered my life for the better (so that I'm happy, healthy, wealthy and wise and helping others to achieve the same)  2) That the changes I had made would generate enough additional income to more than pay for the program.

At this point,  I have not made any additional income whatsoever, although I have set in motion some ventures that (hopefully) will enable that.  And while I have made some fundamental changes, I cannot conclude at this juncture about their permanence.  After all, I have been trying to make permanent change to my life (to start living the life I truly want) for almost twenty-five years now. I have had gradual improvement and periods of 'success' but not sustained success in that time.  In short, the jury is still out on if this program has been a net benefit or net loss.

I am in a better place mentally than I was at the start of this program.  I have made some new distinctions and formed new habits.  Gary and the coaches on the coach line have helped me to gain clarity on various issues.  I found the exercises helpful.  I have made various changes to my life.    I do intend to read the book again, listen to the CDs again, go through the exercises again, and continue to use the coach line on at least a weekly basis.

I have not made a measurable breakthrough in my life.  I have not achieved any new level of success (yet). I have not (yet) raise any additional income as a result of enrolling in this coaching program. I did not gain much in the way of meaningful new knowledge.   In fact, I almost always answered all my own questions (which Gary brilliantly lead me to).  I do see the value in that but consequently do not feel that I 'gained' much.   True, it's not so much about knowing, it's about actually doing.    Doing continues to be an ongoing struggle, some days are great, some not so great.

Particularly I continue to struggle with being organized, I struggle to remain focused, I struggle to remain driven. Despite all the goal setting, affirmations, reminders, etc. I can become complacent alarmingly quickly and am constantly engaged in a war with myself to break out of that mode.

If I sound less than optimistic, it is because there is some trepidation as to if this is going to be the breakthrough I've been looking for or just another false start.   Add to that some fear.  This is my last attempt.  This is my make-it-or-break-it year where I either break out of my limiting patterns and start living the life I want, or after 25 years of study, spending thousands on various success materials and programs and finally on this coaching, if I cannot make a significant difference in my life - then I will be forced to admit that either all this success thinking and Law of Attraction stuff is just hype or that I am simply beyond help.   By the end of this year I will either be living a life on my own terms, making income the way I want and on my way to living life the way I want, or I will stop wasting time and money trying to improve myself and meekly accept my life as a bored and uninspired civil servant, and find ways to distract myself from the drudgery of my life until it's finally over.

Yes, the program has helped, but the first quarter is over, my assigned coaching time is over.  The rest is up to me now.  That's not a comforting thought. I feel like the chick about to be pushed from the nest without any sense on if my wings are strong enough to enable me to fly.

Whatever answers you have for me are already in The Success Principles, in the exercises or available through the coaches.  I will continue to strive forward and endeavor to find them.  Continue to try to make Isagenix (which I started in part thanks to your recommendation) profitable, continue to try to make my writing profitable, look for new, more engaging work, find more enterprising and inspiring people to be around, continue to work on my relationship and life in general.

I am optimistic things will continue to improve and I will shed all the limiting  patterns that have plagued me for so long.  One thing is certain, I no longer take comfort from my comfort zone.  Anytime I find myself there, it is evermore a source of alarm.

I trust I'll be able to write back to you in another three months, with a far more progressive and positive report.

Yours Truly,

Preston Squire

NOTE:  This has become a very popular post (eclipsing all my other posts combined), and by requests has spawned two follow-ups see: Part II and Where I am Now

Hiding in the Closet Part 2

Back in October of 2009 I wrote an blog entitled Hiding in the Closet.   It was probably the best damn thing I've ever written here.  Not because it was exceptionally well worded, or intelligent - it wasn't.  But because it was true.   That was me at my core.  A little boy, hiding in a closet, struggling with depression, afraid of dealing with the outside world.

Odds are, if you are reading this, you, like I, want to break free from the life you're living.   I want it so bad.  You can see through this blog/dairy how I've struggled, trying one thing after another.  Getting myself out of my comfort zone and then, when I'm really started to break free - I backtrack.

It's that God-damn closet.  The God damn closet I hid in as a child.  It's still there in my mind, in my essence.  When I get moving too far, suddenly I stop and distract myself with TV, games, internet, people.   Yeah? So what?  Isn't that what everyone does?

Yes, that is what the vast majority of people do.  Hide in their comfort-zone closets, afraid to break free.

God gave me an image over New Years 2010 of a huge table with every conceivable dish on it.  Every food from all over the world was there from the simplest rice dish to the fanciest caviar.  It was there for everyone to feast on.  Yet most everyone ate from only what was near the edge.  The food they grew up on, because that's what they knew.  They were afraid to try other things, afraid they wouldn't like it, or afraid it wasn't meant for them.  So they stuck to what they knew.

But IT WAS ALL FOR THEM!  COME FORWARD BOLDLY AND TAKE YOUR SHARE God offers, but almost no one listens.  We trap ourselves in the closets of our minds, then distract ourselves from that truth so we don't have to face the fact that we could all be more than what we are currently exhibiting.  "We don't know how!" we cry.  But the truth is, we don't want to know.  We are afraid if we knew, we'd have to do something.  Something, different.  Something outside of our comfort zone.

So here I am once again, making progress in all sorts of areas of my life - I'm as fit as I've ever been, I have a promising career with Isagenix - as a nice lucrative side business, getting my writing going, my relationship is going well and I want to stop and lose myself in trivial things.

I'm stepping out of my comfort zone, and although the potential rewards are amazing, the pain and discomfort are immediate.   Good.  Good.  It's good to be in pain.   I'm in physical discomfort right now from hitting the gym.  Anyone who body builds will tell you that's a good thing.  No pain/no gain.  If I'm not sore, then I haven't worked myself hard enough to build muscle.  

Right now I'm sore and in spiritual discomfort.  I'm exercising my livelihood.   Part of me wants to stop, to make that pain and discomfort go away.  But I can't.  I can't and I won't.  I can't do it.  I can't settle.  I can't live in that Goddamn fucking closet anymore!   I have to get out.  There's life out there.  There's caviar to eat on that table.   I don't want to miss it all.

So even though I'm scared, even though I want to stop, even though I want to take solace in the little things, I can't.   It's too late for me now.  I look in the mirror and I don't see a little boy anymore.  I've always seen a little boy.  I had never grown up.   I look in the mirror and I see a man, fit, slim, trim, and full of promise.

As infants, we have to learn to put down our soothers or pacifiers.  As children we have to leave behind our teddys and security blankets.  As teenagers, we must give up our childish ways and accept responsibilities.  And as adults, we must give up our comfort zones - time and again.

Come join me in stepping outside of the comfort zone - there's life out there.  Let's live it!