Canfield Coaching - The Preseason - Day 3 (Christmas 2010)

It's 1:15am on Christmas day.

My life is a mess.  I'm just drifting along.  Occasionally getting a bit of fire in my belly but mostly just drifting.  Idly letting life pass me by while I medicate myself out of this reality with whatever distraction I can find to fill my time.   I don't have a plan.  I don't have clear set goals.  I do have a vision of who I want to be, but mostly all I do is try to distract myself away from the current reality.  A reality that does not match my vision.

Dating my girlfriend is a painful blessing.  Everytime I'm with her, I'm forced to look at myself through her eyes, and I find myself wanting.   I'm just wallowing in my shit.   Can't stand to even look at myself in the mirror.   Which is good, because if I'm going to make any kind of change, I need to stop accepting the status quo.

Let me tell you, on one hand the status quo is fine, it's nice.  Nice.  Nice is a nice word for it.  Nice.  Not exciting.  Not particularly interesting.  Nothing to write home about.  But it's nice.  Pleasant.  Mostly.  Nice.  God damn, I fucking hate that word.   Used to be how I described everything.   'Oh that's nice.'  'The dress is nice.' 'What a nice person.'  Nice, always nice.   And that's how people used to always describe me, 'Nice.'

Nice is freaking devoid of any flavour.  It's more vanilla than vanilla.  It's sterile.  Nice is purgatory.  It's the place we goto to get out of Hell but are too afraid or too lazy to work our way to Heaven.

The great thing about having a 'nice' life is if it all goes to hell, I didn't fall very far.   But that's as pathetic as can be.  lol.   It's like I've repeatedly said; Despite what 'the Secret' says, you will not attract the life you want, you will only attract the minimum standard you are willing to accept.   And clearly my standard, is, or at least, up until now, has been 'nice.'     I don't want nice.  Nice just doesn't cut it anymore.   I want a Rich life.   Rich in friends, rich in health, rich in wisdom, rich in favour, rich in experiences, rich in romance and yes, although it pains me a little to say it, rich in money.   Why does that pain me?  Damned if I know.  Hopefully my life coach will shed some light on that one.

Okay, clearly this isn't a Merry cheery Christmas message.   You are probably wondering what went wrong with my Christmas that I'm being so hard on myself.   Nothing, nothing really.   Yesterday could have gone a little better, well, I guess which proper planning, a lot better, but as it was it was certainly 'nice' enough.  And today will be, well, nice too.   If I let it.   I don't think I want to let it be 'nice' though.  'Nice', ack.  Such a low standard.  I hate it.

I know, I know, what you focus on you attract, I don't want to attract more of the same.   I definitely don't want another Christmas like this.   Nice.  I want it to be Rich!!  Lots of friends and family.  Lots of laughs and joy.  Lots of presents (without any thought of lack).  Lots of music and fellowship.  In a nice big house, large enough to hoist all my friends and family.

Yeah, this Christmas sucks ass!!  Nice sucks ass!!  That's a technical tech; ass suckaledge. I should not be here, in my apartment, alone, on Christmas early morning.  I should be with my kids and my woman, asleep.  But poor planning - from drifting - has lead me here by my own devices, and I go through it as if it's the world's fault somehow.  It's not of course, and I don't go blaming the world.  I just don't normally wear the blame either.  But I created this reality and it's sub par.  Sub par.  It's not good enough

For the record, I was with my girlfriend and her son last night.  Made them a nice dinner - lamb.  Have my kids later today, seeing my brother and niece and nephew, spending the morning with her again before getting my own kids, then seeing my brother and his family, before coming back home to eat a Christmas dinner and then joining my girlfriend once again at her brother's for another Christmas dinner/party, at least for a while.   It's not bad, not at all, it's really quite nice.  But it's sure as hell far from great, and that, great, has to be the standard.

Let's see what I can do to make this day be Great!

Canfield Coaching - The Preseason - Day 1

As you may surmise from the title, I've finally gone and done it.

I've decided I need to either put up or shut up.

I've put my money where my mouth is, investing almost 5 grand in a life skills coach.  Well, I guess I should qualify it as a year long coaching program, it's not like I'll have a personal coach with me every day for a year, and if I did, I'd expect to be paying at least ten times that amount.

However, I will have weekly conversations with my designated coach and am free to call up the coaching staff anytime (within extended working hours) to my hearts content.   Which is really a great feature, because I can continue to bitch/whine/complain about lack of success all I want for a year. 

lol

I laugh, because if that's what I'm doing, I'm sure to fail.  I need to be taking decisive action not whining about a lack of results and I'm sure any of the coaches would be quick to point that out.   However, it's comforting that a highly trained life skills coach is reachable for me to get feedback from and bounce ideas and concerns off of or even to help cool and constructively shape my occassional over exhuberance.

Okay, let's get to the basics here.

In line with the whole point of this blog, I will blog regularly on my progress, so you, dear readers, can determine if a Life Skills Coach is effective, if Jack Canfield's program in particular is, how I achieved my outstanding success, or at least, learn from my mistakes.

So it's important to let you know where I am, what the program entails, what goals I'll be aiming for and then we can determine, over the course of the near year (2011) is this is an effective tool to make change happen.

Where I am now:

Career:  Good but uninspiring government job, have interview for new position early Jan. Have (often neglected) website: http://www.thecuphalffull.com/, currently well into writing two novels - a fiction - Dillon's Dilemma and an resource book (on success) as yet untitled.  Own a rental property for added income (at least income in theory).

Wealth: Earning a decent wage but still living pretty much paycheck to paycheck.  So income slightly < expenses with little to show for it too.

Romance: Having a relationship with an outstanding woman, but it's been filled with starts and stops thus far.

Health: Pretty good.  I'm fit and quite healthy.  Exercise regularly, eat rightish.  Definite room for improvement though.

Happiness: Generally I'm happy but I do feel like I've hit the perverbial glass ceiling.  I know I should be living at a higher level than I am.  I have so much great knowledge to give, but you can't really give what you don't have.  Who wants to listen to me talk prosperity when I'm flat broke?  That annoys even me.

Relationships: This is in flux.  I've definitely outgrown some people but havn't found replacements for them.  There is a void here and I'm not sure quite how to fill it.   I know I want to, but where to meet like-minded people?

Fun: Ahh.... did travel to the Maritimes and New York this year.  Otherwise, I mostly play on my Wii (no jokes allowed) and internet forums for fun.

Where I want to be:

Career:  Want to have my books finished and published. Want my website to be fully featured (forum, reviews, guest commentators, etc) and revenue generating. Want to be fully self-supporting.

Wealth: Want to be earning 1 million+/yr by end of 2011.
Romance: Want to really develop the relationship to it's full potential and (don't tell her) get married (shhh...)
Health: Add 10-20 pounds of muscle mass.  Hit the gym regularly. Be 'fit'.  Eat 'right'.  Look like my fitness instructor girlfriend did a great job on me.  Be inspiring to you.
Happiness: Be at the top of my game, living life fully, but also taking the time to really enjoy it too.
Relationships: Inspire and help my kids to be the best they can be.  Have inspiring and engaging friends. Work with some of the best people around.  Have a truly fantastic life partner.
Fun: Travel the world, go out regularly, play sports (not Wii Sports), learn to scuba dive and salsa dance.
What Jack Canfield's coaching program brings to the table:

I signed up yesterday, so I'm waiting for some stuff to arrive by courier, for an orientation call (next week) and for the first call from my coach (Jan 5/2011).  I have some assignments to complete beforehand.  So I'm calling this period the Preseason, as it doesn't actually begin until I talk to my coach.

They break it up into 4 parts.  The Discovery where I fill out a bunch of stuff so they have a good idea of who I am, what's 'wrong' with me (my wording), where I want to be, and they can start formulating a plan to get me there.  The Learning phase which is about 3 months of active coaching, once a week, with about 5-6 hours of work for me to do every week.   And then the 2nd phase where I'm on my own, but can call in (as much as I want) for the remainder of the year, and need to give regular progress reports.

In a nutshell, they need to identify my limiting patterns (lack mentality, fear of irrelevance), break the cycle, help me reprogram my mind, organize myself efficiently, and work productively in an enduring manner.

This is a very exciting time for me.  I really see 2011 now as a make-it-or-break-it year.   I know all the theory, and now with a coach, I'm going to be sure to implement it.   I will ever definitely (I used that word a lot today) changed my life for the better, or have to accept that I either really have issues or all this prosperity stuff is so much malarky.    Obviously I don't believe that.   I wouldn't have started this blog, what? 2, 3 years ago, if I didn't believe I could and eventually would become inspiringly successful.

So if you're reading this, when welcome aboard and watch how it happens.  No one said it'd be easy.

A Brand Like Viagra

Sorry, I readily admit that title is purely flippant.  When I posted the 'The Price of Viagra' on my main site www.thecuphalffull.com it generated a spike in hits.  So, as we all want more hits, I cheekily titled this article A Brand Like Viagra.   If you clicked here purely based on that, well, that my friend says something about you.

However, this site is about me and my progress to a fabulous life full free of worries and lack.  My girlfriend and I were discussing what my Brand is.  What sets me apart from anyone else out there wanting to promote positive thinking, inspiration, and success?  One thing that she pointed out, was that I approach it from a standpoint of one of, not one above.  That is to say, rather than preaching from the stand point of someone who's become successful, I am approaching the subject as someone who is with you, perhaps a little further along this journey.

Well, at least for now.  Eventually I will be talking from a stand point of someone who's been there and has broken through and it is my hope that this blog, in part, shows that even highly successful people have had there fair share of ups and downs, false starts and disappointments.   The only difference is in how we viewed those when they happened and that we kept right on going.

Right now, the struggle is to come up with a mere $600 for a trip for New York.   You know what?  One day, not too far from now, I'll be reviewing this blog and will rediscover this article and will be laughing right now. $600 a struggle?  I'll chuckle, marvelling at how I could have ever 'struggled' to come up with $600.  That's nothing after all.  And you know what?  I'll be exactly right.  It is nothing.  I will find it.

And one day so will you.  Just keep searching.  You will find it.

The Price of Viagra

Up in Huntsville Ontario at the beautiful Deerhurst resort for a summit.  No, not the G8 Summit, my invite arrived too late for that, but a Tourism Summit.

I purposely left early, if 10pm can be called leaving early, so I could blog and work on my e-book.  So I came back to my lovely and very spacious temporary abode and immediately began text messaging my girlfriend, my children and a couple friends.   Why not?  I've been out of touch, made some coffee in the meantime.  Okay so far.

Then I finally wrapped up my various conversations and promptly... checked the news and forums.  Why?  To relax, of course.  Should I have?  No of course not!  Waste of time.  An hour to an hour and a half of time, that I could have been writing or blogging or at the very least sleeping.

Why do we so often know what we want, know what to do, yet still not do it?  I'm hardly alone.

At the summit, one of the speakers, Prof. Ken Chan, in order to make a point, asked the audience if they felt there was benefit to being in top physical shape.   Of course, everyone acknowledges there is.  Then he asks if people know how to get in top shape.  Yes, generally, exercise, eat right, etc.  Then Prof. Chan asks how many in the audience of over 500 are now in top physical shape.     One hand.   I'd have put mine up but I've slacked off for the last two months.  Out of over 500 people who all agree it's worthwhile to have and even know what to do. One measly hand.   And we didn't believe him either.

You could argue people in the Tourism field are lazy and I concede more people would raise their hand if it was a firefighter summit but not for many other fields.

Here was another interesting fact from Prof. Chan.   Pfizer (I think it's Pfizer) maker of Viagra, by Canadian regulations could only market their new product (Viagra) as one thing.   The drug was made for heart conditions, to help blood circulation but of course it had this interesting side effect of giving men erections.  They did some research and found if they sold it as blood pressure/heart medicine, it was the largest market in pharmaceutical business and growing as the baby boomers age.  But it's also highly contested.   So the price they could ask for as that would be $3 a pill.    However as the world's first effective erectile dysfunction medicine - an untested but also uncontested market - they could ask for $30.

Think about that.   Men would only pay $3 for medicine to keep them alive.  But the exact same medicine as a cure for erectile dysfunction? $30.  Or as Prof. Chan put it, $30 for a reason to keep on living.   Having no competition of course makes a huge difference but it also shows people's attitudes and what's truly important to them.   Joy is more important than life.

Joy >>>> Life.   And why not?  What's the point of life without joy?   If there's no joy, we're little better than roaches.   Just existing for the sake of existing and perpetuating the race.  We all need joy, crave joy, pursue joy.   There's nothing wrong in that!  Except we do it short sightedly most of the time.

Would writing my e-book have brought me more joy than giving my useless opinion that no one really cares about in a forum?  Not now.  The immediateness of some idiot's rebuttal (and frankly any of us wasting time on a forum to discuss some non-productive pastime like video games is an idiot) to my statement (and my ability to then prove my mental superiority by rebutting their rebuttal - maybe) is more compelling.  But in the long run, the reward of selling millions of copies of my e-book would be far, far more rewarding.  Of course, who's to say I'll sell millions of copies, or even one?   Well, to begin with, me.  And that's where any million seller has to start.  In someone's mind.  Might as well be mine.

So what's the point here?  We have to remain focused on the long term goal, not the short term fun.   Give yourself some goal posts and when you reach one reward yourself but stay focused on the long term goal.  Get those done and you'll be enjoying a life of joy, getting paid to do what you love to do anyway.  No, I don't mean writing on forums.  I'd hate to be paid for that.  What a waste.  To make a difference in people's lives?  Hell, yes!  I do that for free now.  Just for the joy of it.

Thought du Jour

I'm sitting here trying to work on my e-book but just not able to focus on it at the moment but still wanted to contribute some useful information in some way, so here I am blogging on this journal site.

Travel plans to New York continue and I have a great feeling about this trip.  We managed to secure a great rate at a four star property right in the middle of Manhatten.  Very excited about that.  At this point we are still trying to come up with the $600 each.   Wish I could say I had it already but I have tremendous faith that, and more will avail itself.   However, I am consciencious that I need to be giving in order to recieve.  We cannot expect God to just pour into us, if we are not first and foremost ready, willing and able to pour out into others.

But how and what to contribute to the world, that will in turn raise the necessary funds, and then some, I am not clear on yet.  Anybody out there need some writing done? lol.  Need an inspirational speaker?  Quickly now, won't get me at this cheap rate forever! Or even much longer.  

Which reminds me I'd love to do some sort of inpirational course for the less fortunate people in this city.

New York, New Love, and Other Updates

Things are really starting to pick up.

Since my move back to Toronto proper I've used the opportunity to refresh my life (see earlier posts).  The results are starting to show.

To begin with I have a new love in my life.  However, I cannot image a more perfect partner in crime for me and the potential for us excites me tremendously.  

For a year now we've shared a lot of common interests, activities and advice.  Helping each other out when possible and supporting one another through our romantic ups and downs.   Really it's a wonder we hadn't gotten together before now.  I have lots of thoughts on that but it's irrelevant.  With such a like-minded partner I have someone to really bounce off of, encourage and compete with.  Never have I been more excited about the possibilities of a relationship.

One example of this is our trip to New York.  She has a friend who's been hospitalized that she wanted to visit and I jumped on the opportunity to join her.  After all I've never been to New York.  This obviously was not a long planned trip so there was no budget for it.   Instead of trying to go ultra-budget as we originally planned, she challenged me or rather us to put what we preach into practise and declare, seek and find $600 each for the trip. 

The timeline for that is short so we've got to really be creative and move on this.  It's daunting in a way but it's eustress, not distress I'm feeling.  I like the challenge and I love her for issuing it.  I of course immediately started my brain to the task and have tentatively found $400+ already.   When she heard I'd gone from nothing to $400 it spurred her on even more.   She doesn't want to be outdone by me, nor I her. 

In other news, I'm working on my e-book, Power P's of Enduring Success (tentative title).  Blogging again, have monetized my site and getting myself into more productive states every day.  She and I have put our joint product (tentatively titled) Blessful Endevours to the side until we master all it's principals ourselves so we can truly preach what we practise. 

Got a couple other things on the burner as well but I'll leave that for another time.

Getting into the Word

Had a great discussion with my girlfriend yesterday.  Really love that woman.   She's one of my dear friends who will prompt, push and challenge me.

In our discussion she gently inquired into my relationship with the Word of God.  Now I love the Word.  I quote it all the time in my writing and certainly have had a lot revealed to me through the Word.  But I've resisted studying the Word for a couple reasons.

One: Just reading the bible, as anyone can attest, can be dang boring.   I'm more interested in studying it.

Two: I have a study bible, and it's a great one from Chuck Swindell but I want the Word from God, not as translated by man, even such a recognized one.    To extrapolate - my concern was getting caught up in some religious doctrain and dogma instead of just building a personal relationship with God.

Three:  At one point, for a while, when the Holy Spirit was particularly strong on me, I was able to read and receive so deeply from the Word.  Layer after layer after layer in each word of scripture.  In comparison, reading it now makes me feel like an idiot as I don't have that same intuitive depth.   I wish I could always recieve like that but that's not intended in this life I don't think.   I also wish I had written every revelation down, as now so much of it is lost to memory.   Regardless, 'it's never done', I will never stop learning, not in this life or what lies beyond.  So this is a somewhat silly, if prevelant feeling.   I only need to receive for where I am today, and accept more will be revealed tomorrow.   Also, I've realized, the more I pour out, the more I'll recieve so it's important to not try to just edify myself but to utilize whatever I've learned to benefit others as well.

As well, I don't need to read the bible front to back, as such, to receive the Word.   God/life has always had a way getting the Word to me in some form, as if to reenforce whatever God is teaching me at the moment.  So it's merely a matter of making that a more direct channel by keeping the Bible close by and referring to it often for additional inspiration, or as the spirit guides me to do so.

Now, you may be asking yourself why this is even news to me.  In hindsight, I don't even know.  It seems obvious now but that simply truth was hidden from me.

Work in Progress

Just a quick update.

Things are starting to move along at a nice pace now.  Working away at both my project with my partner - tentatively entitles Blissful Endeavours as well as (finally) working on my long awaited e-book on the Power P's of Enduring Success. 

Seeing some progress on the relationship front as well.

My apartment is slowly transforming into my vision for it which is really exciting to see and everything is really going great so far.  My son is doing very well, and I'm seeing both my children regularly.

As far this is site is concerned, the most relavent thing is the fact that I'm working on Blissful Endeavors which is forcing me to work a lot of the principals I already know and get my life reinvigourated. 

It's an exciting time for me, and I'm really looking forward to what life will bring.

Genesis

Yes, yes I know.  I haven't posted since July.

No excuses.  Just been coasting in life, although there has been some major changes.

My son is off to college and I am now an empty nester.

I have moved back to Toronto, mere minutes from my work, saving me about 3 hours a day (often more) of commute time and simplifying my life considerably.   Also easing my financial situation at the same time.

After 19 years of parenthood, my life is once again, fully my own.

I am making the most of it.

Once established I partnered up with my good friend Cathy Morenzie.  Last year at about this time we did the 100 Day Challenge with some success but neither of us were overly enthralled with the program.   It did provide some initial get up and go momentum (or did we do that ourselves?) but certainly wasn't able to carry us through to completion of our goals.

So this year, we've decided to take things one step further.  We're creating our own program and testing it on ourselves.  Why?  Well, for one, because there's nothing like having your own personal success coach in your corner.  We've studied all the books, taken courses, watched movies, had coaching, etc. While we're both still enjoying consuming new self-help material, we're also at the point of diminishing returns.  It's mostly just rehashing what we already know.   So another course or coaching session isn't going to suddenly work magic.  It's all about applying what we already know.   One of the absolute best ways to get yourself to work it, is to be teaching someone else.

So we're developing an outline for a program, setting goals, and coaching each other.   This is a fabulous exercise because it's making us really think about this stuff, no, not just think, live this stuff.  We have to think about it to form the program, live it to motivate ourselves and motivate each other.

When we can successfully help each other reach our true potential, then we'll test it on a group of volunteers (sign up now).  Once it works for them, we'll roll it out to the world and create another revenue source for ourselves.   In the meantime, we're working on other goals which include websites and books.

Cathy and I have already discussed the importance of journaling our journey's because much of that will become material or lessons learned for the very course we're creating.  Since this blog, has been my journal (albeit a public one), I will continue to use it for that very purpose.   In fact it's ideal, as the ultimate goal of this blog is for you to see someone's struggle from a regular mundane life to outstanding success.  And that's what this program we're working on is all about.  So there's definitely a synergy.

As always, I'll be upfront with both my achievements and challenges.  Hopefully you can learn from both.

I'm excited.  This is the beginning of living my life intent.  Walking the walk instead of merely talking the talk.

I've so much more to share but that's enough for today.   Later my peeps.  Thanks for joining me on this ride.

                                                                                 T Preston Squire

A New Beginning

Very soon I will be starting a new chapter in my life.   I am moving from my house in Oshawa where I lived with my son (and visiting daughter) for the last 6 years to an apartment (still in the process of looking) as of September (barring unforseen circumstances) where I will live all by myself.

So new city, new place, new life after kids (mostly), and since I'm going to be substancially closer to work (and friends, girlfriend and my daughter) I will reclaim an hour and a half of every day or more, thanks to no commute.

As mentioned in my last post, I'm also going through the process of re-examining my goals and dreams to determine what I want to do with the rest of my life. Nothing is off the table.  It's like I'm 20 again and everything is possible.   

This will take some time and careful consideration but one thing that's been repeatedly put before me is my website http://www.thecuphalffull.com/, which has been largely negleted for the last few months after I realized I wasn't going to be able to achieve my vision for it.   That is, unless it became my main focus in life.    Which could happen after the move.  

My one passion is to reach other people.   For many years I thought this would be through books / comics / and such.   But I've always struggled to write books.   Even though I enjoy the work, it always feels like a chore to start.   And it's slow....   And now that I think of it, perhaps archaic.  Sure people still read books, and comics but more and more the vast majority of people's reading is right here: online.

So why shouldn't I focus on that?  I can still write books and such on the side as well.   No reason not too. 

Nothing is written in stone, but if I do decide to follow this path, then expect some big changes over the coming months for the website as I move it towards it's true intended vision.

Dated Dreams?

Guy Finley has ruined my life.  lol.  Sorta.

As you can see from the lack of posts both here and at my main site (http://www.thecuphalffull.com/) over the last few months, I had lost my enthusiasm for this venture.   Not only that, but for my written work as well.  

I've been playing with restarting some sort of 100 Day Challenge or doing some new goal setting or something but haven't because why should I have to?  If I have a passion for something, why should I have to constantly be pressuring myself to do it?   Some pressure to take definitive action, but the desire to act should be there already.

Then Guy Finley, who sends me regular e-mails, has the audasity to suggest the following:

"Your present dreams about where to find happiness and fulfillment are the very things that stand between you and the real happiness and fulfillment you seek."

That statement might seem contrary to everything you've ever seen me talk about but it made immediate sense.

Our dreams are generally formed when we're children or young adults.  But it's at this time that we are most under the influence of whatever limiting paradigms that we have subconsciously adopted in our childhoods.
So those dreams, that we've longed to achieve are dreams created while under the influence of limited beliefs.

Now, to be honest, I'm not sure that's where Guy is going with that, as I'd have to pay $3.00 to find out.   I probably will cough up the $3 as I've got to admit I'm curious to hear his take, (simply havn't had time yet) but regardless, the above realization got me thinking.

Are those dreams, of being a writer, etc, really what I want?  It that really what I should be doing?   Or have I just let my old dreams persist long beyond they should have?  Now that I'm aware of old limiting paradigms, what new dreams should I aspire too?   What do I really want to do?  What's my passion?

I don't know.   I think I'll need to retreat from life, the physical world with all it's immediate needs, for a bit to reorient myself to this new line of thinking.   And pose these questions at a deep level, close to source (God) to find a pure answer.   Until then, I'm stuck in a bit of limbo, not sure how to proceed.

I'll keep you posted.

It's Never Done

In a number of areas in my life, I'm happy but not fully fulfilled.  That is to say, I'm grateful for what I have, it's comfortable and pleasurable but it's not at a level I really want it to be.

This lead me to a question of whether one should live in a state of discontent, demanding more out of life and expecting it - walking in faith, or if one should merely be grateful for what one has.  Or both.

Both points certainly have merit.  Unless we are following our true desires we simply aren't living.  We're existing.  By chasing our desires, we grow, we expand, we remain motivated and enraptured with life, even while it challenges us.  God asks us to walk in faith.  To be bold, go forth and to trust in Him (assuming right action).

At the same time maintaining an attitude of gratitude is immensely important.   Whatever we focus on we draw into our lives.  So if we look at what we lack, we'll tend to attract more of that.  We need to be focused on what is bringing us pleasure to attract more of that instead.  If you do not appreciate what God has already given you, why should you be given more?

This lead me to another question.  What if you have a job or relationship you really enjoy but isn't fulfilling you at a level you really want to be fulfilled at?  Do you leave it, boldly expecting to find something better?   What if you don't?  What if you go forth only to realize that what you had was already great?  Or you simply fail to find what you were looking for and have lost what you had?   Or the reverse:  What if by holding on to what you have, you lose the potential to find that which you really want?

This is especially poi-tent if you happen to enjoy the relationship, job, etc., you are already in.  Why ruin or disregard something that really hasn't done any wrong by you?   You could fish for something better while maintaining what you have but that just really feels like cheating, doesn't it?

While pondering this, I was reminded that it's never finished.  The job is never done.  Even when you accomplish your goals or even your dreams, it's never done.  You're happy for a period, but soon you start desiring more, or something else, or to bring this happiness to others, or what have you.   You need another goal, another dream to keep you moving.

Even if you were to find the most idealistically, wonderful, dream-like relationship with a super charged sex life, it simply can't be maintained at that level for long.   Life is simply too traumatic.    It's like a ship in the ocean.  You may have ideal conditions today, but tomorrow the seas may be rough.  In fact, you're guaranteed to be met with advise conditions sooner or later.   So even if things are perfect, they don't remain that way, not without constant effort.

A garden is another fine example.

Here's a story.

A pastor was driving through the countryside and noticed a beautiful farm house.  The lawn and garden were lush and well manicured.  The barn, fine and full.  The fields bursting with near ripe crops in prime condition.  In the field, slowing approaching the road, sat a farmer in his tractor.  The pastor was so impressed he decided to stop the car and waited for the farmer to reach him.

Once the farmer was in earshot, the Pastor yelled out, "This is a beautiful house and farm you have."

"Well, yep, it is.  Thank you," replied the farmer.

"You must be so grateful to God for having provided this all for you," stated the Pastor.

The farmer took off his hat, scratched his head and chewed on his straw before replying, "Well, yep, I most certainly am.  But you should have seen the condition He had it in before I arrived."

It's funny because it's true.   It took a tremendous amount of time, effort and dedication to get the farm to that state.  Nor will it stay that way without endless time, effort and dedication.  It would start to slide back into the condition the farmer first found it in.  It's never done.

But the key, is to find a good plot of land to start with and build from.   The same can be said for most other things.   If you have a good solid relationship, build on that.  If you have a good job, build on that.  Look for ways to increase and build upon that solid foundation.

Once you've taken what you have as far as you can, and you will very likely be surprised by how far you can take something when you really put your mind, time and effort into it, with faith, if after that you're still feeling unfulfilled then you should seriously consider looking for something else.   But you will either create the very relationship, career, home, financial situation, etc., you wanted or will have developed the skills necessary to turn it into a reality once you find the proper base to work from.

So don't fuss if it's not perfect.   The job will never be done.   Just keep moving forward, follow your bliss and be grateful for what you have.   Just be sure to recognize the value of what you have before you leave it for something else.

That reminds me of another story, a true one, or so I'm told.   

A farmer in Africa, sick of toiling away in the nutrient-poor fields for a penance, heard about diamonds being discovered elsewhere.   Realizing that such a discovery could make him rich, he sold off his farm, pack his belongings and went looking for diamonds.  He looked and looked in vain, eventually dying a broke and broken man.    

The man who bought the farm, wanted to make irrigation lanes from a stream that cut through the property.  While working in the stream, the man discovered a strange rock which turned out to be a diamond.  He sold the farm for many millions of dollars to a mining company. 

The first man was always looking for riches elsewhere, and elsewhere the riches always were.  The second looked for ways to make what he had richer, and riches followed.

Another Day

Just looking at that previous post I had made.  It's easy to see I was really connected when I wrote that.  It just flowed without any preconceptions of what to write or any editing afterwards.   I love that.

Today, is not one of those days.   Life has dragged me back.  I won't say back 'down' as I don't like the connotations there but life has pulled me back into the dramas of life and away from Source.  From my connection with God.

How did that happen?  Little by little.  Life has a habit of chipping away at you with this drama and that.  Specifically, I did separate from the woman I've been seeing for the last three months.  It was mutual and amicable and really I feel very much for the best for both of us.   We're better friends than lovers.  However, then there's the void that creates, and life starts it's little drama's.    Wants to sell the story that the void means something.   That perhaps somehow I'm not good enough, or that I'm lacking in some way.  Certainly I'm lacking a lover and all that entails so now I should feel lonely.  Feel tired of dating.  Frustrated.  Etc.

Poppycock, the lot of it!   The void is necessary.  It IS progress.  See: The Vacuum Law of Prosperity
That which I want to attract into my life, cannot come until a place is made ready for it.   You do not invite dinner guests and then not set a place at the table for them.   And so in order to find the woman I do want, I need to first create the void for her to fill.  

Now sometimes we set a place at the dinner table for a special guest and they run late, or worse, don't show.  We don't do ourselves any favours looking at that empty spot and feeling sorry for ourselves that it's empty.  It's there for when our guest comes.  Sure it's nice they come when we want but the world doesn't cater to our every whim.   We must accept it as it is.  When the guest arrives, the place is ready, the food is ready, all is set.   If our invited guest simply doesn't show, then that spot is available for someone else to fill.  But it must be available, so when company does come, we can make them feel at home, desired, appreciated and fuel their desire to return.

If we listen to the lies, the spot will begin to irritate us.  A constant reminder of what we're lacking.  We may clear it off.  Toss the food.  Drink the wine.  Have ourselves a righteous little pity party.  And then when company arrives unexpected, what do we do?  We are not prepared.  We have nothing to offer and they obligingly leave us alone.  The void is necessary.

The void is progress.  It means I'm not holding on to some long lost thing or faint hope.  It means my affairs are in order.  It means a spot has been made ready.   I do not need to look at it in regret, as life would suggest, I can choose to look at it in expectations that soon it will be filled and enjoy the anticipation of what wonders that person will bring.

Update

Well, without even looking at the blog before posting I know it's been quite a while since I posted.

Been busy, both at work and at home (although I do most of my postings from work (shhh....)) so a lack of time is certainly a factor but more-over I haven't felt inspired to do so. 

But do not think that's from a lack of progress, nay, in fact quite the opposite.  While I haven't suddenly materalized millions of dollars (I know that's what you're all looking for... relax, it'll happen... In fact, it already has, I just haven't reached that point yet, it's still ahead of me in this linear existence.  Soon, soon.).
But I have come to a new level of understanding.  My whole perspective has changed.  And it's a change I know most won't be able to grasp, so it seems pointless in a way to discuss it.

But I get it now.  I understand.  I know what I'm here to do.  And I know, that there is nothing that can stop me from achieving that, except my own self, my fears, my doubts, my own dramas.  Or a sudden, unexpected death but that doesn't worry me in the slightest.   Yes, much might happen in the physical to cause interruption to one's journey.  But as long as you remain focused on the end, not the present drama, you will eventually reach it.

Let say your body is like a car.   You're driving from NY to LA (or Toronto to Vancouver) and midway you get involved in a severe car accident.   Are you dead?  No?  Then you're journey is merely delayed, once you recover you can continue. Paralyzed?  Fly.  You may not know how or when you will ultimately arrive, but do not doubt you will.   You may get lost.  Run out of gas and have to stop in some small town, find work and then bus.  Who knows?  But will you arrive.  Yes.  As long as that is your focus.

But people always get caught up in the now, in the past, in the imagined future of 'what if'.   They allow fear and doubt to deter them.  Often it's deeply rooted and they cannot even pin-point the source of their procrastination.   None of it matters.  There's you, and there's where you are going.  Know you will arrive and go.  Don't fuss over how, when, etc.  Just know you'll get there and go.    The 12 Power P's of Enduring Success all come into play, certainly, you need Purpose, Plan, Promise, etc.  But go, just go, live the life you were intended to live.    What is that life?   That's a question you must answer, and the answer is there, within you.   If you can calm yourself enough you will find it.

But people listen to all the nay-sayers and there will always be plenty of those, far, far more than yeah-sayers.  In this case NY-LA is a poor example as people travel that now every day.  When I was born, man was only just landing on the moon.   I'm sure before that occurred, a whole lot of people thought it'd never happen (some still don't believe it ever did!).   Before Columbus discovered the new world in search of India, few ever believe he could make the journey.  The world was flat after all.  Before Hannibal took elephants over the mountains to invade Rome, few, if any, would have thought it possible.    People always cast doubt.  Nor does it have to be on anything so dramatic as reaching the moon.    When I was living on the streets, with no home, no job and no prospects, there were lots of other teens selling the prophesy of doom.  You'll never make it.  No one will give you a chance.  You're not any better than the rest of us and we couldn't do it, so why would you.   Why do they accept and sell those lies and disbeliefs?  Largely because if they truly accepted it was possible then they'd have to take a long, hard look at why they themselves aren't doing it.   Don't listen to them.  Know, just know you'll arrive and go.

I've so much more to say, but no more time at the moment.  For I have places to go.

Quick update

Just a quick update here.   As one can easily tell I haven't been posting much on this blog recently mainly because I've been too preoccupied.   I was doing a lot of work on my sister site www.thecuphalffull.com and then took on a major project at work which is where I do most of my posting from.

Really, it's a shame because I've had a number of breakthroughs which I'm not going to do justice to now, as I want to blog on thecuphalffull.com but here's some recent insights:

Paradigms - See the blog entry on thecuphalffull.com for more but specifically to me I realized that I tend to clutch onto love not because of 'who I am' but because of who my mother was.   I adopted her faulty beliefs about love subconsciously even though I have always consciously rejected them.   This realization has enabled me to free myself from this behaviour.

Loving unselfishly - I subsequently realized that I've had a somewhat selfish relationship with my ex and current BFF in that I was feeling and acting jealous because she's got a new man in her life.  Having the above realization helped and I am now dedicated to loving unselfishly, looking only to pour into her life, not for what I want out of it, trusting that God will ensure I receive proper payback from a source that may not be the one I'm pouring into.    Goes for everyone else too.

The conscious mind creates ideas but the subconscious creates things.   It's simply not enough to hold ideas, desires, goals and dreams or purpose on the conscious level of our mind.  On that level it remains only ideas and the conscious is constantly distracted by the now.    In order to shift ideas into created reality they must be turned over to the subconscious mind which works tirelessly, 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year towards accomplishing the task without the idle distractions of the now.    To do so requires either repeatedly and passionately envisioning and enacting your goals/dreams/purpose until the subconscious accepts it as fact or repeatedly and consistently pushing yourself into an act of doing until it becomes a habituated way of being.   Once turned over to your subconscious, the subconscious mind will tirelessly and unceasingly direct the conscious to always be on the lookout of that which serves to turn the perceived reality into physical reality.  It becomes an obsession and to quote 'The Cable Guy' you 'Get'er done.'

We have had past lives but not in the way commonly perceived.    Some religions and people believe in past-lives.  I've not accepted this because it's mathematically impossible for everyone alive today to have had even one past life let alone several.   There are more people alive today than have ever died!   Or close to it.
However, our soul is a part of God.  It IS God.  We are a part of that which we call God.   God is in us.  Therefore ALL our souls are part of God, of source energy, infinite intelligence, whatever you want to call it.  And most definitely God has had countless, hundred of millions of past lives.    Our souls have connection to all of them for we are all part of God.  However, I suspect we have closer ties to some than others which is why it seems like they are 'our' past lives.   They are not 'ours' in the sense that we alone experienced them, they are more like a shared experience that is in closer alignment to us than others.

It's been a while - Day 51 of 100 Day Start Fast Finish Strong Challenge

Not going to talk much about the 100 day challenge.   Not getting a lot out of it the second time round although, I am getting something out of it.

I haven't posted recently but you'll see on my other blog http://www.thecuphalffull.com/ I've been posting up a storm for the last couple of weeks.

The most significant thing I think in my life right now, worth noting, is that I am at the part of the book, Awaken the Giant Within, where Anthony Robbins gets to NAC - Neuro Associative Conditioning.  Or in short, rewiring your brain for success. Changing what you link pain and pleasure too.

I'm excited because I remember this.  I remember this working.   I was really becoming a powerhouse when I started using it only to be totally knocked off the rails by the end of my marriage.   Well if it worked so well, why didn't I keep using it?   Lacked the P's my friend.  Lacked the P's.   

Didn't have the Patience.
I was mad at God so I wasn't Positive, stopped finding grace in Prayer, forgot the Promise.
Let my Passion slip, which undermind my Persistence, halted my Progress and I lost sight of my Purpose.
My Perspective was all wrong at the time, I was only focused on me for one.
In the end, the loss of my marriage was simply not a Price I was willing to pay.   Had I had the right Perspective, that has come with age, experience, and a lot of study, I would have seen God had even greater heights for me.   I would realized that the pain would pass and keep my mind only on the joy, on the lessons learned and on the end goal, knowing that whatever I lost would be replaced and replaced in spades.

See http://www.thecuphalffull.com/ for more on the Power 'P's for Enduring Success.


But at that time, I simply didn't want to let go.  That love was the best thing I had ever experienced in my life.  I didn't want to lose that!   I couldn't envision anything better.  LOL.   How pathetic considering, in hindsight, it wasn't all that good.  It was troubled, we were quite young and both came from less than ideal upbringing.  We had issues and lacked the maturity to deal with them or each other.    I became fixated on relying on my understanding and my strength instead of trusting in God's and keeping my focus on where I was going, not where I had been.

So many years later, and in reflecting here I see I'm still held back by a lack of vision - better than what I had (or my parents had) is still good enough for me.  It shouldn't be.  I am capable of so much more - why shouldn't I enjoy the finer things in life?  It is not a crime to be rich, only a crime to seek money above all things.   If in the process of helping others, I become rich, there is no shame in that and if imagining some of the benefits of having wealth helps motivate me to do what's right, why not?   I need to expand my vision and be specific.    And I need to stop looking back fondly on things that were.   As nice as they were, God has better yet in store for me, but I can't get there if I'm looking backwards.

And I see how some old habits die hard.    I look forward to using NAC and the Power P's to fundamentally change my life.

Day 20 of the Start Fast / Finish Strong 100 Day Challenge - Take 2

Today's message was a really interesting one in the Start Fast / Finish Strong 100 Day Challenge.   In it Gary Ryan Blair talks about making a 'quantum leap' and going from A to Z without having to work your way through the rest of the alphabet or in the stated example to go from a bank teller to Vice President within a year.

It's probably the most contraversial topic in the entire 100 days but it's an interesting idea.  He argues (and is going against traditional Personal Development gurus like Bob Proctor) that the only reason you have to go step by step is because we believe and accept we must but if we just step out in faith that we'll get to the end goal, now, instead of 20 years from now, then we can make it happen.   

Personally sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.  Not because it's a bad idea to hold the end result in mind and expect it now, that's fine, but because extremely few people would be able to maintain that level of conviction despite all prevailing opinion and circumstance.   Even those few who do have to deal with the reality that other's may not take too kindly to their 'leapfrogging' and actively (if subconsciously) use Law of Attraction against them.  They would rather see the person who's been waiting and in their opinion deserves to be VP be VP rather than some arrogant upstart.

But is it possible?  Anything is possible.  Stranger things have happened.  And a few really charasmatic people could probably pull it off but I wouldn't recommend it except to the very few.

But I digress,  the reason for my post today is because during the video/audio Blair asks 'What would you do if you were guaranteed success?  What specific actions would you take?'

I paused there and thought about that.   Aside from buying a lottery ticket or betting on a horse, I couldn't think of anything I would be doing that I wasn't already in the midst of doing.  Considering Angelina Jolie, Jessica Alba and Miriah Carey (she makes me laugh) are all taken, then there's no one I would rather be pursuing than the woman I'm currently pursuing.    

I'm already trying to get my book published.

Already working on my website.   Now if I was guaranteed it be super successful would I go ahead and do the full site instead of a blog?   No, I'd be writing books and stories full time and still wouldn't want to designate that amount of time to the web.  If I could hire someone to do the bulk of the work, then yes.

Already hitting the gym.

Oh, I would sell my house for a large profit, but not so much that the new owners would lose their shirts on it. And I'd slap some ridiculously hugely profitable ad on my website for you all to click on and make me lots of money - as long as it was for your benefit and ethical.

So really, I wouldn't change anything.   That's a wonderful realization.

Day 20 of the Start Fast / Finish Strong Challenge - Take 2

I'm struggling.   Struggling to really find that burning passion within.  Struggling to define what I really want to do and who I really want to be.   Funny, I thought I had this all figured out.

Last 100 Day Challenge I think, well, I know, I got too ambitious and tried to do too many different things and find success on too many different levels.  I spread myself too thin and while I accomplished a lot I didn't reach many of the goals I had set.  Of course, some weren't really realistic.

What I did have then that I'm really struggling with now is gusto.  I was motivated.  I was working hard on doing so many things simulataneously.  Now I have given myself an easier plate to carry but cannot seem to build up that level of excitement again.

There are some contributing factors - While I am building a relationship with an outstanding woman, it's going very slowly (she's not even in the country at the moment, she's on a 17 day vacation in India) and it's hard to be really excited when you're constantly slamming on the brakes to make sure you don't pass the target. 

My last relationship in comparison was very exciting, like a fairy tale at the beginning, almost unreal in quality, very passionate but in the end, it didn't last did it?  This time it's completely different as this woman is determined to take her time and ensure I'm the quality of man she wants before really allowing her passions to flow.  It's a good idea, and I certainly can't fault her, especially given how her last relationship went, but patience has never been my strong suit.  I'm feeling very restrained but hopefully, a more restrained and logical approach will result in a better long term success.  But it's dulling my enthusiasm at the moment.

Finances are also bothersome.  I have a plan for paying down my debt but here's life throwing in curve balls which will increase my debt by more than I was even hoping to pay it down by.  It's unavoidable unfortunately and if I want to still get my debt load paid off by 1/3 I'm going to have to really make some deep painful cuts or somehow increase my income in short order.

My website ambitious are another factor - I've felt very torn on how to progress, flip flopping from a full on website like I had originally planned to just a blog as I originally (and still) had to something inbetween.
The problem is doing the site I wanted will simply become a full time job, several in fact, without pay, at least without adequate pay for an extended duration.   Which would be okay, if I didn't have a full time job, a budding relationship and a writing career I want to pursue. 

I originally envisioned making the website highly profitable within 3 months and quitting my job.   But then 'reality' came crashing down on me and it became apparent that, barring devine insight, through traditional methods, it would take a year, or more, to get the site to a level were I could expect to modestly live off the proceeds.   A year of full time work on top of my full time job, writing, relationships and other life demands.  Although I'm loathe to leave my concept, that is a price I'm not willing to bare.  It would cause too much imbalance in my life and suck the joy out of it.  But to just maintain it as an non-profit(able) blog is equally distasteful.

Currently, I'm at the stage of putting it on hold, just blogging for now, until my writing career takes off, allow me to quit my government job, and have more time to invest in building a website.  But I'm not happy.

Which is the point.   Goals are suppose to make me happy and currently, they are not.   In other areas things are going better, I'm still hitting the gym with good results for instance and an agent is currently reviewing my book but it's hard to not allow these three areas of discontent affect me in other areas especially when those other areas are just keep writing, keep working out and not terribly exciting until I actually get a contract signed for my book.

Trick is to keep focusing on what I want but with my website in particular, I just don't know what that is anymore.

Day 15 of The Start Fast / Finish Strong 100 Day Challenge - Take 2

Okay, technically, I'm on day 17 but I haven't had time to listen to day's 16 and 17 yet  and I've had this post openned but not written for two days so let's, in the words of Larry the Cable Guy, 'getter done'.

The reason it's taking me two days to get around to this post is because I didn't feel I had anything to write about.  I sometimes forget, and have to remind myself, this blog, unlike http://www.thecuphalffull.com/ isn't meant to show pure uplifting messenging.   It's to show how difficult this road can be, but to show it is achievable.

I want you dear readers to see both my ups and down and even the boring parts.

As for the 100 Day Challenge, it's all well and good but it's hasn't been a source of growth for me since the last post (which was great).

Recently I've really started to get into meditation.  Just a quick five to ten minutes a day of relaxing, clearing my mind and openning up my self to more devine insight.

On Thursday on my commute back home I was trying to meditate but my mind was filled with all the news off of the games forum I frequent when I'm bored at my work (which is a considerable amount these days).  In meditation you're suppose to merely acknowledge each thought and let it pass, which is what I was doing but it was thought after thought of utterly useless video game information, most of which I honestly don't even care about.  Then devine insight happened.   I'm obsessed with this site. 

Ironically, that was a happy thought.  Currently, as you know if you're following this blog, I'm reading Anthony Robbin's Awaken the Giant Within.  In it Tony talks about using pain and pleasure to form life altering habits for the better until they become habitual or better yet, like an obsession.   I had read that before and understood the principal but never had any success in trying to create an onsessive behaviour.  And now, here I was discovering I had, unwittingly, done exactly that.

Reflecting on it, I could see how it had happened.   When I started in my current position we were extremely busy in the summer but slow in the winter.   So during the winter months I'd occasionally have some free time and fill it with a wide range of internet sites.  I looked at comic book news (I worked in the industry in the 90's and still like to follow it even though I'm not a collector), video game news, movie news, political news, general news, date sites (don't tell), I even worked on my book until people complained about it. Over the course of the next nine years (Lord, has it been that long?) our business has become slower and slower to the point now where even during the summer months I need to fill considerable down time and the winter months are virtually all downtime needing to be filled.

So applying the pain/pleasure formula (we move away from pain and towards pleasure): boredom was the pain and the games forum provided the best escape from boredom for a couple main reasons, unlike news, there was always fresh posts on the forums and debates to get into and secondly at that time the Nintendo Wii was launching at it's success (which I predicted) came with tremendous uproar from the established gaming community.   It didn't meet their predetermined idea of what a games console should be and many outright hated it as they resented the fact that it was vastly outsell the consoles that they felt did it 'right.'   Such drama is always fun to watch - and occasionally stir up with more predictions of success.

Over time, it became a habit and over more time it became an obsessive behaviour where even if I'm at home and bore I feel a complusion to see what's happening on the forum.

The great thing about all this is that I now have a working example of how to create an obsessive behaviour.  Now all I need to do is recreate that with something that's more beneficial to me over the long term, like my website.   

Day 12 of the 100 Day Start Fast / Finish Strong Challenge - Take 2

This is a record of my progress towards accomplishing my goals and dreams using the following tools:

The Start Fast / Finish Strong Challenge (currently taking it for the second time, first of three times I will do the challenge this year)
Anthony's Robbins' book  Awaken The Giant Within (currently on Chapter 3), alternating with Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich - each to be read three times this year
Six Minutes to Success by Bob Proctor - Daily motivational videos

I am ashamed.  I am truly ashamed of myself.  I talk a good talk but am I walking the walk?  Sometimes but not the last few days, that's for certain.   Not to say I haven't done anything.  I have.  I did goto the gym Saturday and did work on the website Sunday.  Spent time with my kids and niece and nephew - that's not without merit.   But I have terribly lacked focus.   My weekend should have been much more productive than it was.

Great quote today from Six Minutes to Success:

"There is absolutely nothing that separates the elite from the paupers except expectations." J. Arthur Holcome

Currently I am dating a marvelous woman.  One of her most admirable qualities is her persistence in maintaining great expectations.   She demands more of herself, mostly for her children's benefit and expects to achieve it.   She does not allow normal or even exceptional circumstances to sway those expectations.  Therefore, she's accomplished a tremendous coming from the background she did.  I'm very grateful to have her in my life.

My expectations at the moment are pathetically low.  Not to say they couldn't be worse, they certainly could be.  I have a nice house, car, job, kids, friends, wonderful woman in my life but I am settling for far, FAR less than I am capable of achieving.  My house and car need repairs.  I am not being a (pro)active enough part of my children's lives.  I am not giving enough to my friends.   Nor have I truly opened myself up enough to my woman.    I am allowing myself to be content with less.  The safer, easier route.

No. No.  NO.  It cannot continue like that.

One of the absolute best moments in the 100 Day Challenge is Day 11 - Shock Therapy.   In it Gary Ryan Blair reads you a 'Dear John' letter from your own hopes and dreams.   You know, the ones you keep promising that one day you'll be together.   The ones you keep putting off time and again because it's too hard, your too tired, maybe tomorrow.   Those hopes and dreams have had enough.   If you cannot find it in yourself to come to them, they will find someone else who will.   It may sound a little corny here but Gary delivers it excellently and it'll have you in tears.

We do not live forever.  Hell, tomorrow is not even guaranteed to you.  You have now.  This moment.  How are you living now?  Are you living a life you would be proud of?  Or are you still waiting for that life to someday find you?   You do not have endless tomorrows.   Dreams cannot be put off indefinitely.  They will die.   Nor will the right moment ever come.  You have to create it.  And if it did come, right now, this instant, are you even ready to embrace it?  Probably not.  It'd pass you right on by.   We must take action, I must take action, now.   Today and every day.

It does not ultimately matter if I reach all my goals (and I never will because as long as I'm alive I'll keep setting new ones) but it matters entirely that I am running towards them.   For then and only then am I living.
The rest of the time, we're in spiritual decay.    It's time to run.

The 100 Day Start Fast / Finish Strong Challenge - Day 9, Take 2

Technology really sucks sometimes.   Although I didn't take the time to blog about each day, I did take the time to make a list of what each day's message was but now due to a technical glitch, that list is gone.

Obviously I could just go back and review each's days message, later, but as I've already delayed this posting this long I'm loathe to delay it even further.   So I'm just going to take it as a sign from above to use a different approach and post anyway.

Over the last week the focus has been related to the theme of creating a sense of urgency.   Each day is a somewhat different aspect, and todays was about asking for what you want but mostly it's all amount to getting yourself to act now.

And considering it's taken me a week to post, I can only surmise I haven't been following too closely.  LOL.  Sad.

So far my Challenge has been off to a very rocky start.   I have not been able to focus enough to really make any sort of progress on any front at all.   This is partly due to a private struggle I've been dealing with and partly due to a sense of disconnect with my goals (see Course Correction).  

I'm also slowly making my way through Awaken the Giant Within but haven't had time (or focus) to do the first major excerise (writing out the pains of current behaviour and the pleasures of achiving desired behaviours).   Currently on the 3rd (?) chapter on beliefs.

Six Minutes to success has had some good stuff this week as well.  Been more impactful than usual.

As for what I'm doing in my life as a result of all this goodness I've been pouring in - The primary thing I've been learning to do is stay within a sphere of joy. 

For example - I had a situation which caused me considerable anxiety this week.   Instead of focusing on the issue, I began to do fun things to distract myself.   After a bit, I began to really question what I was doing as it seemed a total waste of time.   However, my sense was to continue, to merely allow myself to be in a constant state of joy and that the answer would come to me if I stayed in that state.  This isn't normal behaviour for me, usually I like to tackle things head on but it felt right so I went along with it.   After a few days, the answers did come.   As they came, I could immediately feel the 'rightness' about them.   They came with a sense of peace and certainty. 

In hindsight, I truly believe that if I had tried to focus on the problems, I would have continued to be in an state of agitation and anxiety.   In such a frame of mind I would not have been as open to finding these answers and the peace they have brought.

In particular, I was intent on making a go of really developing my website.   The clarity that it isn't my primary purpose isn't a shock I suppose but it is a departure from my thinking up until this point.  In hindsight it seems obvious but before it was an issue I was struggling with and it was causing me to become detached to the very thing I was trying to convince myself I needed to focus so much effort, money and energy into.

If I hadn't taken these few days to 'goof off' and live in a state of joy despite the agitations on my life, I no doubt would be investing time, energy and money into more web development - consequently wasting far greater amounts of my time.

Now someone may look at this and say, 'oh he's just justifying quitting' but really it's more of realigning with my primary purpose.   I am a writer, first and foremost and getting my books and stories published must be my main focus.   This website should not be dragging me away from that and it most certainly would have if I had continued down the path I had been on.

Being in a continuous state of joy, whether by reaching out to God or merely playing my Wii or talking to my friends and girlfriend has also given me a much quicker return to balance after being knocked for a loop by an unexpected issue, than I previously would have.

Ironically, that personal development is about as far removed from having a sense of urgency as you can get.  Or is it?    I've often heard that high powered people are able to remove themselves mentally from their immediate situation, find that place of peace and balance within, make a decision on how to act from that peace (and not from the chaos) and then act on that confidently and decisively.    That is what I am doing here.   It's just taken me a while, and the more I practice retreating into joy, the faster and more effective I will become.

Course Correction

LOL

Okay, I just have to laugh at myself.   Here I am, promising daily updates and it takes me a week to post another one. I have had some personal issue occupying my time and thoughts but moreover, I had a feeling of disconnect with my website ambitions.

As a consquence, and taking a lead from my spiritual being, I focused on finding my joy, while letting the thoughts of where to take my website, and other ambitions percolate in the back of my mind.  In time the answers, to the questions I didn't even know I had, came to me.

While I do have a very firm desire to really build up my website, make a decent living from it and use it to reach thousands, if not millions of people with a message of hope, it is not my primary purpose in life.   I will do it, one day, in due time.   But for now I need to focus on my writing career, on my budding relationship and on my current source of income.

Turning this blog into the full-blown website I envision would be a full career in itself and not a hobby.  While I'm happy to leave my current career path as a civil servant, I would not ultimately want the development, marketing and maintainance of this site to occupy my time so much that it takes away from my writing and relationship.    And if I am to do it justice, then that's exactly what would happen.   Not forever but for a considerable period of time until I was earning enough to hire additional support staff.

Now that might be limited thinking on my part but the bottom line is this: My purpose is to write and reach people through my writing first and foremost and that is where I need to focus the bulk of my attention.   I will continue to blog and develop this website in my spare time.

Coming to this conclusion has really put my mind at ease and has put the 'joy' back into working on this blog.
I look forward to having fun, implementing much of the functionality I have been planning and working on, without going crazy trying to make a 'professional' site.   More of a personal journey we can share together.

The 100 Day Start Fast / Finish Strong Challenge, Take Two, Day 2

For us 'Alumni' members they restarted the challenge a little later than the rest of the world so I'm only on Day 2 as of this writing.

I'm going to attempt to blog daily on my progress.

Let me mention that as well as doing the 100 Day Challenge, I am also reading Awaken the Giant Within and may reference that from time to time.  Also I get daily videos from Six Minutes to Success and various e-mail from different inspirational sources.  

Day one the 100 Day Challenge prompts you to 'Get Serious' and prompts you to seriously address your goals and make sure you are actually 100% serious about accomplishing them.    In retrospect, I reduced one of my goals - paying off my credit card to paying down my credit card by a set amount as I felt I couldn't forsee how I would pay it off.   If you don't believe it, it's not going to happen.  In fact, you will only make a token attempt at it.    With my reduced goal I do believe it's possible, if very challenging, so I am more likely to really do everything I can to accomplish it.

Day two and the message is to 'Be Bold'.   Oddly, this is the same message as Six Minutes today.  In Six Minutes Bob Proctor notes that in a book looking at 18 young millionaires, they acknowledge that each one of them makes decisions regularly take could have a major impact on their finances.   That is to say, they are risking it all regularly, or at least risking large parts of it.     How often do we do that?  I don't think I've ever done anything that could potentially risk my financial future, not even for a great reward.  I doubt many very much the vast majority of you have either. 

We all guard over our precious little funds.  Afraid to lose what little we have.  But those who succeed in making large fortunes regularly risk what they have in the interests of gaining more.   Does it always pay off?  No.  Look at Donald Trump's rise, fall and rise again.  However they take calculated risks.  They are not fools.   They are not gambling thier fortunes at Los Vegas casinos (not to say they don't ever gamble, but just for fun not profit), they are making shrewd business decisions.   But it's still a risk.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not recommending you start betting your future on some idea you've had.   Remember, everyone makes mistakes.   People like Donald Trump has made many, and learned from them, and now makes very shrewd decisions because of them.   Also, most of these people have mentors, or role models they learned from and emulate.   Just betting the farm on some idea, no matter how great, is foolish, when you've no experience in making such decisions.   Take the time to study, and find a role model.  Someone who has already gone down the path you're looking at and learn from them.   Then start making smart calculated risks.  You will win some and lose some.  Fine.   Learn from the loses, capitalize on the wins.   As you progress, you'll get better and better and richer and richer.

Point is though, you've got to be willing to accept risk at all.   Until you are, you are not going anywhere.

As for myself, that's an issue I too need to address.  However at this moment, the only place where I might be risking money is in website development and that's an area where I need to sit down still and really, really nail down my business plan before I shell out anymore.

I've set my goals as follows:

1) To finish revising my book Dillon's Dilemma and get an agent.
2) To create a sound business plan for my website, get developing underway and start marketing
3) To hit the gym 4 days a week and increase my weight (muscle only) to 180lbs, eat healthy and regularly
4) To continue to develop my relationship with the wonderful woman I attracted during the last 100 Days
5) To pay off my cc debt by a third

Biggest challenge right now is self motivation and discipline. 

100 Day Start Fast, Finish Strong Challenge Review

So I completed 'The Goal Guys' 100 Day Start Fast / Finish Strong Challenge.

I have blogged on my progress throughout the 100 day period and you can go back and see how I progressed throughout.  In this blog I'll do a quick summary of my experience.

At first blush ending the year with a 100 Day Challenge seemed like a wonderful idea.   However, in practice this is not an ideal time to do the challenge.   The main reason being Christmas.    The holiday season totally derailed both myself and my challenge buddy and I'm sure a lot of other people as well.     So much for Finishing Strong.

My other major thought about the entire experience is that they encourage you to set lofty goals.  Five of them in fact.   Any one of my lofty goals would have consumed all of my available spare time if given thier full due.  Having five to juggle was an act of insanity.   I did benefit greatly at the start from two things:  1) I had taken a month of work and used it to kickstart my goals. 2) I delegated.

Add the insanity of Christmas with gift buying, visiting relatives, planning, preparing and hosting Christmas dinners and something simply has to give.  

In the end I do consider 2 of the 5 successfully accomplished.  Which is in fact a marvelous accomplishment!  All 5 were significantly propelled forward and the timelines for the other 3 were never really realistic in the first place, however I didn't realize just how unrealistic my website goals were until I was well invested in it.

To add further insult to injury, the 100 Day Challenge gives you daily goals to work on.   Truth be told I never did a single one of them.   I was already overwhelmed with the five goals I had set, on top of my daily responsibilities.   I know Cathy did aspire to work on them but in the end, I know she wasn't very successful on that front either for the same reasons.

In retrospect I would have been better served with setting only two, maybe three major goals to work on during the challenge.   That would have allowed a lot more focus on those specific goals.   Having only two goals would also have allowed me to actually focus on the given daily goals.  Either that or 5 fairly manageable goals.

In the end, was it worth doing?

Absolutely!! 

Anything that gets you to take constant, direct and ongoing action towards your goals is worth doing.

Since it's the beginning of a new decade I was looking back and reflecting on what I have accomplished over the last decade.   Much of what went on that list was done within the last 100 days.   If I had been as focused as I was during the challenge for the rest of the decade, I would be in a very different place than I am at today.

Which is why I am doing it again!!

Yes, that's right, as of January 11th I am restarting the 100 Day Challenge.  I will repeat it two more times after that.    There are 365 days in a year and for 300 of them, I will be focused on my goals and on bettering myself.      The other 65 I'm going to screw off. lol.   Well, I'm sure I'll still be moving things forward, but I'll be doing it at a different pace.   Likely take a vacation in those pauses too.

"We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence then is not an act, but a habit." - Aristotle

My goal in doing this is to create a lasting pattern of change.  Through continued focus and repetition I expect to be able to make some permenant changes to my habitual way of being.   Resulting in explosive growth in my life.

Ultimately, it's not what you know.  It's what you do.   As Marvel Entertainment was so fond of bashing into our heads as kids during G.I.Joe and Transformer cartoons; "Knowing is half the battle!"  Yes, but only half!  A lot of people know what they should be doing, but they are held back by their habitual way of being.   Living in their comfort zones.

2010 is my breakout year.   I will achieve substancial results this year through direct and continous action.

The 100 Day Start Fast / Finish Strong Challenge will be one of the key components to making truly life changing differences in my life.

I encourage you all to take this journey with me.   Sign up for the challenge yourself or just continue to follow my progress in this blog and it's sister website - http://www.thecuphalffull.com/

If you are considering taking the 100 Day Start Fast / Finish Strong Challenge here are my recommendations.

Remember that you only have 100 days to achieve your goals and that the rest of your life is not going to suddenly disappear while you work on them.   You can change your priorities but you likely cannot divest yourself of your other responsibilities.

Therefore either focus on only a couple of huge goals, and the daily goals or make your goals aggressive but not monstrous.   Ask yourself, "How will I find time daily to work on each of these goals?"   Be realistic about the time commitment of each.

For myself I had a fitness goal of putting on 10-15 lbs of muscle.  That required going to the gym for an hour five or six days a week.  That's already an hour out of each day and I still had four other goals to see about!!

Commiting myself to get into a relationship proved a monsterous time consumer as I spent endless hours on websites, on the phone with women and on dates, not to mention the financial reality of dating a lot of different women over a short period of time.   I probably spent three hours a day on average on this single goal.

My website goals proved far more ambitious than I had even thought.   Even delegating much of the work out, I still spent about two or three a day average, (often more) working on not only blogging, but researching, designing, marketing and building a website.   Just getting a logo alone was a massive time drain with a constant back and forth trying to get the concept I had in my head captured in an image.   

Which those three goals I already had a time investment of six to seven hours a day!   Plus my job, my kids, my regular boring life (laundry, repairs, showering, friends, etc.) there was no time left for anything else!

Most of the work that was done on my book was done by someone other than myself and thank God for that!!   However I was trying to squeeze in time for that too.

My last goal, a financial one ended up being totally reliant on my website development and my book getting published as there simply wasn't any time left to look into or work on other possibilities.

So do yourself a favour, if you're going to take on five goals, make sure you can move each of them forward meaningfully with as little as a half hour a day commitment.   That may work for some (health) but not others (relationships).  Do the math.   In 100 days at 30 minutes a day, you will spend 300 hours working on each goal.   What is a realistic goal to finish in that time?

It's okay to want to make a million dollars but unless you have some incredible gem of an idea, it won't happen in 100 days.   But you can set a goal that will help set you up to be earning a lot more than you do now.  Like finding a new job or taking a college course (which I was also doing!) or getting a business going.

Find a challenge buddy.   It was very beneficial to have someone to report too and to hold me accountable.

Be prepared for the mid-way slump.    Both Cathy and I got discouraged at the half way mark.   Mainly because you're forced to realize that you are half way to the end of your time frame but do not have your goals fifty percent completed.    This will most likely be your reality too.   Things always take longer than expected and unexpected problems are sure to arise.   Don't sweat it.  The ultimate point is that you are making your life measurably better.    Also, change can be slow but at times it can be incredibly swift.   You could come in touch with the right person, situation or opportunity to suddenly propel you forward.   You never know when those will come so just stay committed to your goal.

In the end, even if you miss your completion date it doesn't mean you failed, you just need to keep on keeping on.  In the end 100 days of action and focus can ultimately only do one thing: make your life better.

I look forward to seeing you in the circle of excellence.