I'm sitting here at working reflecting on the lessons learned last night at a financial management course offer by our church.
The entire lesson yesterday (part of a 5 week course) was on Vision and they spoke of the importance of investing your money (and time) effectively.
Your God given Vision should be your passion, your purpose, your joy. It should really motivate you. That thing you love to do so you never get tied of the long hours it can sometimes take to make it happen.
That Vision should dictate how your money and time are therefore spent. We all have only 24 hours a day. It's how we use those 24 hours that dictate the life we lead.
That's what's troubling me now. I'm here at work. At a job that has absolutely nothing to do with my God-given purpose.
Why?
Well, to pay the bills of course. My God-given purpose has yet to do that.
But what's the point? What's the point of having a Vision if we're stuck in our little rat-race. The rat-race won't get us ahead. It's not working harder that will benefit you. It's working smarter, at those things that you're best at.
But how do you manage to invest your time in your vision when it doesn't initially (and maybe not for years) pay your bills??
You take the hit. You live at the level you can live at, while you pursue that vision single-mindedly. Robert Kiyosaki lived out of his car with his future-wife for months until they could get their next business off the ground after his previous business had gone bankrupt. He refused to invest his money, or time, elsewhere, except in his own vision.
The nine hours a day I spend working or traveling for work are a huge waste of my potential and not part of my God-given Vision. But can I do without them to invest that same time in my/God's Vision for me?
How do I not? How can I say I trust in God yet put more faith in man's ability to feed me?
But to step out in faith, and leave my job so I can pursue a full-time writing career would put everything my wife and I own in jeopardy.
Is there some middle ground? Some paying work I could do that would be in line with my vision? Perhaps. Perhaps. I will have to explore this further.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Monday, September 24, 2012
Life is moving along
It's been a while since my last post so there's quite a bit to catch up on.
Overall life is great. OMG, in context of where I was last year, life is simply marvelous.
My marriage is wonderful and improving all the time. I cannot thank God enough for guiding me to my wife, and vice versa, because left to our own devices, we never would have gotten together but she is indeed such a blessing in my life, and I hope, I am in turn to hers.
There are of course rough patches, but we navigate our way through them, mostly just through open and honest communication.
Right now I think the most challenging thing in the marriage, is me. I'm still tied up in my own self-limiting beliefs (yes, I know I write an empowerment blog) and so is she, but she'd love to be able to look at me and be inspired every day, but I'm not that much of an inspiration on a lot of days. However, I do strive on.
Church is playing an increasingly important part in my life (OMG, like, so old!) as I take increasing comfort in trusting in God and continually see God come through when you trust in Him and follow His plan (not your plan).
I'm back to writing every day, currently workshoping my book with other writers. Feedback is encouraging although, apparently, I'm long winded. (as readers of this blog already know)
Family life is great. Blessed with three wonderful souls to help sheppard, all of whom are doing excellent in their own regards.
Our living situation is vastly improved from a year ago as well, but with that improvement comes new financial realities that we are adjusting too. Currently looking for more opportunities to create additional income. :)
I'll leave it at that for now, least I become long winded.
All the best,
P
Overall life is great. OMG, in context of where I was last year, life is simply marvelous.
My marriage is wonderful and improving all the time. I cannot thank God enough for guiding me to my wife, and vice versa, because left to our own devices, we never would have gotten together but she is indeed such a blessing in my life, and I hope, I am in turn to hers.
There are of course rough patches, but we navigate our way through them, mostly just through open and honest communication.
Right now I think the most challenging thing in the marriage, is me. I'm still tied up in my own self-limiting beliefs (yes, I know I write an empowerment blog) and so is she, but she'd love to be able to look at me and be inspired every day, but I'm not that much of an inspiration on a lot of days. However, I do strive on.
Church is playing an increasingly important part in my life (OMG, like, so old!) as I take increasing comfort in trusting in God and continually see God come through when you trust in Him and follow His plan (not your plan).
I'm back to writing every day, currently workshoping my book with other writers. Feedback is encouraging although, apparently, I'm long winded. (as readers of this blog already know)
Family life is great. Blessed with three wonderful souls to help sheppard, all of whom are doing excellent in their own regards.
Our living situation is vastly improved from a year ago as well, but with that improvement comes new financial realities that we are adjusting too. Currently looking for more opportunities to create additional income. :)
I'll leave it at that for now, least I become long winded.
All the best,
P
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
What a Difference a Year can Make
I am in awe.
I look at my life today, and back to even one year ago and the diffence - is immense.
I am in a place now, that I couldn't have thought possible just twelve months ago.
God is amazing. He does listen. He does deliver. To those that walk in real faith.
Last year I was in a place of renewal. I was disgusted with my life and knew it had to change. It had simply become too unbareable to remain stuck in the place I was in life any longer. I had made an absolute commitment to change, to grow, to transend my nature or die.
I hired Canfield Coaching, I did all the right things, all the planning, all the affirmations, all the self-development work, reported back, talked regularly to my coach. Nothing. I did learn a few things about myself, but I didn't change.
In the end, I gave up and ask God to do for me what I could not do for myself.
Since then, my life has changed. I am now happily married instead of frustratingly single. I am living in a beautiful home in a nice part of town, instead of a crappy junior one bedroom apartment in the bad side of town. Where before I had debt, now I am debt-free (sans mortgage) and were able to save enough to get our current house. While I still remain in the same job, I am focused on building my writing career and in action. I have peace in my heart, that despite current appearences, success is assured, because I have a faithful God.
I am more involved in helping others and less involved in distracting myself - although I have a long ways to go still.
I wake up, and I'm grateful for my life. I'm grateful for my wife. Grateful for my kids. I'm grateful for my new home. I'm glad to be alive and living, instead of struggling to find a reason to live.
There is a certain, je ne sais quoi, that I can't put my finger on, a feeling I can't describe, a difference in me, that has premeated my life which I can't adequately describe.
It is faith. Faith that no matter what's happening, I am not alone. God is with me and working on my behalf. That He wants me to have everything, through Him and that as long as I continue to walk in that authority, that things will somehow, work themselves out. I have peace.
We just moved into a new house. Our expenses have greatly increased. Do I know how we're going to manage financially? No I do not. But I know we will. I am working on leaving my current job and developing a livlihood - a lucrative livlihood - writing. Do I know how? No I do not. I haven't a clue. But I'm working on it nevertheless, undeterred by the fact that I don't know how. It doesn't matter. I have faith that career is manifasting even now. Sometimes the way ahead swings into view - and it's overwhelming. So much I have to learn, so much to do! At such times I find myself wanting to fall into old patterns; to distract myself, to get out of overwhelm. Then I catch myself, turn it over to God and just continue to ask Him to do for me what I cannot do for myself. Peace returns and I continue.
Just like my marriage and now my house has manifasted, so too will my lucrative writing career. I no longer question that fact. I simply know it. I have faith. I cannot tell you how, or when or why, just that it is going to happen. It is the next step in my evolution. I could not have told you how I would have gotten to where I am today from where I was last year. I just knew I had to be somewhere different. Now I have faith and in that faith, I have peace. In that peace, I have perserverence. In that perserverence, I have prosperity.
I look at my life today, and back to even one year ago and the diffence - is immense.
I am in a place now, that I couldn't have thought possible just twelve months ago.
God is amazing. He does listen. He does deliver. To those that walk in real faith.
Last year I was in a place of renewal. I was disgusted with my life and knew it had to change. It had simply become too unbareable to remain stuck in the place I was in life any longer. I had made an absolute commitment to change, to grow, to transend my nature or die.
I hired Canfield Coaching, I did all the right things, all the planning, all the affirmations, all the self-development work, reported back, talked regularly to my coach. Nothing. I did learn a few things about myself, but I didn't change.
In the end, I gave up and ask God to do for me what I could not do for myself.
Since then, my life has changed. I am now happily married instead of frustratingly single. I am living in a beautiful home in a nice part of town, instead of a crappy junior one bedroom apartment in the bad side of town. Where before I had debt, now I am debt-free (sans mortgage) and were able to save enough to get our current house. While I still remain in the same job, I am focused on building my writing career and in action. I have peace in my heart, that despite current appearences, success is assured, because I have a faithful God.
I am more involved in helping others and less involved in distracting myself - although I have a long ways to go still.
I wake up, and I'm grateful for my life. I'm grateful for my wife. Grateful for my kids. I'm grateful for my new home. I'm glad to be alive and living, instead of struggling to find a reason to live.
There is a certain, je ne sais quoi, that I can't put my finger on, a feeling I can't describe, a difference in me, that has premeated my life which I can't adequately describe.
It is faith. Faith that no matter what's happening, I am not alone. God is with me and working on my behalf. That He wants me to have everything, through Him and that as long as I continue to walk in that authority, that things will somehow, work themselves out. I have peace.
We just moved into a new house. Our expenses have greatly increased. Do I know how we're going to manage financially? No I do not. But I know we will. I am working on leaving my current job and developing a livlihood - a lucrative livlihood - writing. Do I know how? No I do not. I haven't a clue. But I'm working on it nevertheless, undeterred by the fact that I don't know how. It doesn't matter. I have faith that career is manifasting even now. Sometimes the way ahead swings into view - and it's overwhelming. So much I have to learn, so much to do! At such times I find myself wanting to fall into old patterns; to distract myself, to get out of overwhelm. Then I catch myself, turn it over to God and just continue to ask Him to do for me what I cannot do for myself. Peace returns and I continue.
Just like my marriage and now my house has manifasted, so too will my lucrative writing career. I no longer question that fact. I simply know it. I have faith. I cannot tell you how, or when or why, just that it is going to happen. It is the next step in my evolution. I could not have told you how I would have gotten to where I am today from where I was last year. I just knew I had to be somewhere different. Now I have faith and in that faith, I have peace. In that peace, I have perserverence. In that perserverence, I have prosperity.
Moving on Up!
It's been a while since I last posted. I had decided a while back that not to continue blogging until I found some way to earn money from it. However, that was related to my other site more than this one.
I've been quite busy since getting married as being married has filled my life up much more than before (and I used to complain about how busy it was before). That's not an excuse though. I just put blogging behind me and now I'm feeling called back to it.
Lots has happened so let's recap:
We're buying a house!!
Yep, we've pooled our life savings and bought a lovely house in uptown Toronto, with all new furniture to boot. This is a really great way to begin our marriage in a place that's 'Ours' and with furniture that's all 'Ours' as opposed to her's and mine with some old memories attached.
The housing market it Toronto has been insane, with demand far out pacing supply. As a result every house was a bidding war. Regardless, we put our faith in the Lord and even went so far as to give notice on our apartment. However, we were continually outbid (by 30K!) on every house we were interested in. It was insane. Our travel agent was wonderful and a very nice lady but I felt in my spirit she wasn't the right one for the job. We needed someone who wouldn't be 'nice' but could close! It takes a different type of person to out-negociate a house, especially when you don't have the highest bid. In fact our agent assured us doing so simply wasn't possible.
Fortunately, I knew better and knew just the man for the job. Sure enough, through some tough and aggressive negociations, he closed the very next house despite multiple offers and there being a higher bidder. He even managed to get all the furniture included and kept the price WELL within our range.
The house is perfect for our needs, in fact, it's the best suited house for our family needs we've seen. We couldn't be happier.
We put our faith in the Lord and despite many set-backs and uncertainty, we didn't waiver in that faith. God delivered and in spades.
I've been quite busy since getting married as being married has filled my life up much more than before (and I used to complain about how busy it was before). That's not an excuse though. I just put blogging behind me and now I'm feeling called back to it.
Lots has happened so let's recap:
We're buying a house!!
Yep, we've pooled our life savings and bought a lovely house in uptown Toronto, with all new furniture to boot. This is a really great way to begin our marriage in a place that's 'Ours' and with furniture that's all 'Ours' as opposed to her's and mine with some old memories attached.
The housing market it Toronto has been insane, with demand far out pacing supply. As a result every house was a bidding war. Regardless, we put our faith in the Lord and even went so far as to give notice on our apartment. However, we were continually outbid (by 30K!) on every house we were interested in. It was insane. Our travel agent was wonderful and a very nice lady but I felt in my spirit she wasn't the right one for the job. We needed someone who wouldn't be 'nice' but could close! It takes a different type of person to out-negociate a house, especially when you don't have the highest bid. In fact our agent assured us doing so simply wasn't possible.
Fortunately, I knew better and knew just the man for the job. Sure enough, through some tough and aggressive negociations, he closed the very next house despite multiple offers and there being a higher bidder. He even managed to get all the furniture included and kept the price WELL within our range.
The house is perfect for our needs, in fact, it's the best suited house for our family needs we've seen. We couldn't be happier.
We put our faith in the Lord and despite many set-backs and uncertainty, we didn't waiver in that faith. God delivered and in spades.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
The Truth HURTS
Finally, after all these years, years of self-development books, audio series, seminars, programs, coaching... Finally I understand why I do some of the things I do.
A let me tell you, the truth hurts.
My wife has been listening to podcasts from Jeffery Combs of Golden Mastermind Training for our MLM business - Isagenix.
I've been catching some of them and one in particular resonated. Enough I signed up for his free series on the subject. That resonated even more so I ended up buying his whole program. Listening to him talk is like taking the worst tasting medicine in the word. It tastes so bad it makes you want to cry but you know it's good for you, so you take it and take some more, no matter how bitter it gets.
The startling truth I've been forced to confront is that I have suffered from chronic procrastination.
I say startling, because I have never identified myself as a procrastinator and neither has anyone else. I've asked my friends and family for honest feedback about my character defects many times, procrastination was never amoung the list of faults. To be honest, if it was, I'd have denied it. Look at all the books I've written (unpublished), all the blogs I've created (unprofitable), my MLM business (also unprofitable) plus I could point to a dozen other things. To be sure I've always kept myself busy - but rarely productive.
Jeff Combs says, and I agree, no one is a 'procrastinator'. We all procrastinate over isolated areas where we feel anxious over the outcome of completing a set course of action. Which is true. However some people have self defeating habits/traits and I have been one.
Jeff breaks procrastinators down into six personality types. Few people fit any one type exactly, most people have traits of several and I certainly fit into the latter.
I won't go into specifics for all but will touch on the ones that relate to me and have explain some of my own behaviour to me.
The 'Big Hat, No Cattle' type tends to make big plans, but fail to develop the necessary traits to fulfill those plans. They have a sense of entitlement, that they are so talented, that the world will see their ability and all their lofty goals will be achieved as a result. We look for a lot of short-cuts, not wanting to put in the long, (boring) work to achieve the goal, the way 'average' people do it. No we're better than that, more talented, smarter, more creative - so we think. We have something to prove, having come from homes where we felt the need to prove ourselves. Perhaps one or both parents rejected us, or we were made to feel we were never good enough somehow. Deep inside, we don't feel worthy. So we set impossible goals, have fuzzy plans, and when we fall short, it's okay because we have an even better idea and goal to work on.
In the end it's all a form of procrastinating.
Now I understand why I can get an agent interested in my books - a point when I should be getting really excited but instead lose all interest. It's because I don't have a goal to write a book. I don't have a goal to write a book and get it published. No, I have a goal to write a best-selling novel on the order of Harry Potter, that's going to win me a movie deal, a sequel, make me world famous and earn me at least twenty-five million in revenue. Seriously, I have that written out.
So what happens if I get it published? It's suddenly beyond my control. Aside from marketing the heck out of it, I can't 'make' it a best-seller. I can't ensure a movie deal will happen. I might only ever make $25,000.00. Normally getting a book published and adding 25 grand to your bank account would be considered a 'win', but because my goals are so lofty (and I don't want to build my way up to best seller status over a series of books) that would be considered a massive failure. It would be heart-breaking.
Am I saying it's not possible to hit one out of the park on the first try at bat? No, of course it's possible. It happened to JK Rowling (Harry Potter) and Stephen King (Carrie) - although both had a long string of rejections first. God could manifast that. It could happen, certainly. But it's a control issue. At some point it's out of my control and into God's.
Nor would it happen. I am talented but that's still no excuse for not diligently perfecting my craft. I could and should be taking lessons, and writing day in and day out, working with other writers to perfect my craft. I have done all that at times but like everything in my life, there's no long term consistancy. Only consistancy up to the point where what I'm doing doesn't have to actually be tested and live up to the ridiculous goals I've set.
It's what we do consistantly that determine who we are.
I want quick success. I don't want to work eight years for it. It's true. Waiting eight years seems like an eternity to me. Truth is, I've wasted twenty bouncing from one (admitted great) idea to the next and never getting anywhere at all. If I'd seen this pattern ten years ago, I don't doubt I would be enjoying a very successful career right now.
Instead I keep setting multiple lofty goals, planning poorly, not knowing how to achieve those ridiculous goals, not working diligently to develop the long term skillsets I need and wasting time instead, feel bad, then feel the need to stuff those emotions of disappointment - wasting more time or instead I work diligently then losing interest just when I'm close to succeeding.
There are many other ways I procrastinate as well I'm learning.
I intellectualize every gawd-darn thing. I write passionately and easily but can't get two words out of my mouth without mental editting. I'm afraid I'll sound stupid or say the 'wrong' thing. So I procrastinate on what to say. Often this leads me to saying nothing and seeing aloof. Or I feel the need to 'add value' to whatever someone else is saying by putting my own (and better!) spin on it. I don't need to do that. I can just let someone have their moment.
I also rebel. I don't want to conform to other's expectations, even when not doing so (for the sake of not doing so) is counter-productive to me. It's more important to be 'right' than to be productive. In the end it's just another way to procrastinate and not have to test myself.
I never realized procrastination could take on so many forms and be so hidden in other acts. It's not surprising that others didn't identify it in me either but once I mention it, they do. Fact is, I have the lack of results to prove it. lol... sigh.
However this discovery is liberating. I now have a choice to not continue to follow those patterns. I can set smaller goals (that lead to the bigger one) and focus on the daily actions and habits that achieve those. I can talk from the heart and not the head. I can let my ego go and do what makes the best long term sense, whether that's doing something someone else's way, or my own. I can stop trying to mentally control every situation and just relax and be in the moment. In the now. Trusting my self and my higher power (holy spirit) to do the right thing without psychoanalyzing myself even moment of the day. I can take more pleasure in small accomplishments, knowing the compound interest of consistant small victories is what makes for a 'break-through', 'over-night' success. I don't have to be perfect. I don't have to be better than everyone else. I can simple work to be MY best and that alone would be exceptional.
If any of this has resonated with you, please check out Jeff Combs 'Confessions of a Recovering Procrastinator' series for yourself at : http://goldenmastermind.com/
A let me tell you, the truth hurts.
My wife has been listening to podcasts from Jeffery Combs of Golden Mastermind Training for our MLM business - Isagenix.
I've been catching some of them and one in particular resonated. Enough I signed up for his free series on the subject. That resonated even more so I ended up buying his whole program. Listening to him talk is like taking the worst tasting medicine in the word. It tastes so bad it makes you want to cry but you know it's good for you, so you take it and take some more, no matter how bitter it gets.
The startling truth I've been forced to confront is that I have suffered from chronic procrastination.
I say startling, because I have never identified myself as a procrastinator and neither has anyone else. I've asked my friends and family for honest feedback about my character defects many times, procrastination was never amoung the list of faults. To be honest, if it was, I'd have denied it. Look at all the books I've written (unpublished), all the blogs I've created (unprofitable), my MLM business (also unprofitable) plus I could point to a dozen other things. To be sure I've always kept myself busy - but rarely productive.
Jeff Combs says, and I agree, no one is a 'procrastinator'. We all procrastinate over isolated areas where we feel anxious over the outcome of completing a set course of action. Which is true. However some people have self defeating habits/traits and I have been one.
Jeff breaks procrastinators down into six personality types. Few people fit any one type exactly, most people have traits of several and I certainly fit into the latter.
I won't go into specifics for all but will touch on the ones that relate to me and have explain some of my own behaviour to me.
The 'Big Hat, No Cattle' type tends to make big plans, but fail to develop the necessary traits to fulfill those plans. They have a sense of entitlement, that they are so talented, that the world will see their ability and all their lofty goals will be achieved as a result. We look for a lot of short-cuts, not wanting to put in the long, (boring) work to achieve the goal, the way 'average' people do it. No we're better than that, more talented, smarter, more creative - so we think. We have something to prove, having come from homes where we felt the need to prove ourselves. Perhaps one or both parents rejected us, or we were made to feel we were never good enough somehow. Deep inside, we don't feel worthy. So we set impossible goals, have fuzzy plans, and when we fall short, it's okay because we have an even better idea and goal to work on.
In the end it's all a form of procrastinating.
Now I understand why I can get an agent interested in my books - a point when I should be getting really excited but instead lose all interest. It's because I don't have a goal to write a book. I don't have a goal to write a book and get it published. No, I have a goal to write a best-selling novel on the order of Harry Potter, that's going to win me a movie deal, a sequel, make me world famous and earn me at least twenty-five million in revenue. Seriously, I have that written out.
So what happens if I get it published? It's suddenly beyond my control. Aside from marketing the heck out of it, I can't 'make' it a best-seller. I can't ensure a movie deal will happen. I might only ever make $25,000.00. Normally getting a book published and adding 25 grand to your bank account would be considered a 'win', but because my goals are so lofty (and I don't want to build my way up to best seller status over a series of books) that would be considered a massive failure. It would be heart-breaking.
Am I saying it's not possible to hit one out of the park on the first try at bat? No, of course it's possible. It happened to JK Rowling (Harry Potter) and Stephen King (Carrie) - although both had a long string of rejections first. God could manifast that. It could happen, certainly. But it's a control issue. At some point it's out of my control and into God's.
Nor would it happen. I am talented but that's still no excuse for not diligently perfecting my craft. I could and should be taking lessons, and writing day in and day out, working with other writers to perfect my craft. I have done all that at times but like everything in my life, there's no long term consistancy. Only consistancy up to the point where what I'm doing doesn't have to actually be tested and live up to the ridiculous goals I've set.
It's what we do consistantly that determine who we are.
I want quick success. I don't want to work eight years for it. It's true. Waiting eight years seems like an eternity to me. Truth is, I've wasted twenty bouncing from one (admitted great) idea to the next and never getting anywhere at all. If I'd seen this pattern ten years ago, I don't doubt I would be enjoying a very successful career right now.
Instead I keep setting multiple lofty goals, planning poorly, not knowing how to achieve those ridiculous goals, not working diligently to develop the long term skillsets I need and wasting time instead, feel bad, then feel the need to stuff those emotions of disappointment - wasting more time or instead I work diligently then losing interest just when I'm close to succeeding.
There are many other ways I procrastinate as well I'm learning.
I intellectualize every gawd-darn thing. I write passionately and easily but can't get two words out of my mouth without mental editting. I'm afraid I'll sound stupid or say the 'wrong' thing. So I procrastinate on what to say. Often this leads me to saying nothing and seeing aloof. Or I feel the need to 'add value' to whatever someone else is saying by putting my own (and better!) spin on it. I don't need to do that. I can just let someone have their moment.
I also rebel. I don't want to conform to other's expectations, even when not doing so (for the sake of not doing so) is counter-productive to me. It's more important to be 'right' than to be productive. In the end it's just another way to procrastinate and not have to test myself.
I never realized procrastination could take on so many forms and be so hidden in other acts. It's not surprising that others didn't identify it in me either but once I mention it, they do. Fact is, I have the lack of results to prove it. lol... sigh.
However this discovery is liberating. I now have a choice to not continue to follow those patterns. I can set smaller goals (that lead to the bigger one) and focus on the daily actions and habits that achieve those. I can talk from the heart and not the head. I can let my ego go and do what makes the best long term sense, whether that's doing something someone else's way, or my own. I can stop trying to mentally control every situation and just relax and be in the moment. In the now. Trusting my self and my higher power (holy spirit) to do the right thing without psychoanalyzing myself even moment of the day. I can take more pleasure in small accomplishments, knowing the compound interest of consistant small victories is what makes for a 'break-through', 'over-night' success. I don't have to be perfect. I don't have to be better than everyone else. I can simple work to be MY best and that alone would be exceptional.
If any of this has resonated with you, please check out Jeff Combs 'Confessions of a Recovering Procrastinator' series for yourself at : http://goldenmastermind.com/
Friday, February 17, 2012
Doing what it takes
Ever had one of those days where a theme or point keeps recurring. For my wife and I we generally accept those as God's way of confirming whatever He's initially been telling us.
Yesterday was one of those days.
The point, which came up in conversations, facebook posts, over-heard conversations, and other means was this: If you really want to change the standard of living you're enjoying you have to be willing to extend yourself to do more, be more, take more risk. You can't keep doing what you're doing now and expect to get a new result. You have to play at a whole new level. And that - comes with sacrifice. So what and how much are you willing to scarifice in order to achieve your goals?
My wife and I are currently in the last stages of developing our ten and one year plans. Looking at the goals I have set for myself, it's clear that I am going to have to do a whole lot of stuff I haven't done before. I have to learn new skills, take all sorts of unprecidented actions (for me), and invest a significant amount of time in doing so. I also have to adhere to a high level of excellence and giving more than expected if I hope to rise above the crowd.
To put it simply, if I want to donate a minimum two hours a day to work on my new ventures - that time has to come from somewhere.
Problem is I already feel I don't have any spare time. It's been weeks since I've even gotten to play on my beloved Wii (actually, I did play for 90 minutes the other day when I couldn't sleep at 4am but that's been it). Any time I take to put towards achieving my goals will without question be taken directly from time with my family. Which is a bit of a conflict because developing stronger family and marriage ties is one of my major goals.
Also, how badly do I want to achieve these goals? It's all well and good to say 'I want X amount of money in X time.' But what are you going to do to achieve that? Are you willing to invest the time, the energy and the effort - all of course without any guarantee of initial success.
Now some might say, 'You don't need to work harder, just 'intend it', use 'Law of Attraction.'' Or God will provide, just ask in prayer and have faith. To the latter, I have always found that God rewards those that walk in faith - not sit in faith. IE: Your actions have to be congruent with what you're asking for. If you want to earn an extra million, then you have to start acting and being like someone who's worth a million and that included doing actions that will reasonally produce millions. God will handle the details and unseen opportunities from there.
For those 'Law of Attraction' folks, it's the same deal. BE that which you seek to attract. BE a vibrational match. Sure Jack Canfield used 'Law of Attraction' but if you've ever heard him talk about Chicken Soup for the Soul in other interviews, you know he and Mark Victor Hanson busted their asses for a couple years to get that book noticed. It didn't just 'magically' and effortlessly happen like 'The Secret' makes it seem.
Generally that's always the case. Virtually all 'overnight' sensations didn't have overnight success. They earned it through years of relentless effort. By striving their very best to always be the very best until the world finally noticed.
Personally, it's all God to me, it's just a different way of looking at it. Except being a Christian, God speaks to me (at times) and I strive to obey and that works a lot better than trying to get the Universe to obey me (and missing opportunity that's being provided because it didn't match my expectation). God know's my intent, and prepares the way, but not when it's not in my best interest or I'm not ready. In the latter case, he works on me until I am. At any rate, I digress....
I don't think it's a question of 'IF' I can achieve the lofty goals I set. I believe it. It's hard to imagine, but I've seen enough 'miracles' to not question that a way will present itself if I present myself as ready.
It's a matter of 'WILL I'? Am I willing to push myself that hard, that long for that end? Does it mean enough to me to sacrifice time with my family and my time alone? Does the end justify the means?
The reason most people aren't rich is not because they can't be. It's because they simply aren't willing to take the necessary actions to become rich. It's like bodybuilding. Anyone (barring medical reasons) could be a bodybuilder with immense arms and chest (respective to their sex) but how many of us are? Very few. Why? Because we can't be bothered. We don't precieve the value of being that muscular to the effort required to get there. Same thing with bodybuilding their finances. It's possible, but we don't preceive the value of being that rich as worth the effort to get there. If you did, then you'd be there (or well on your way) already. There's a lot of reasons for us to not see that value equation, but that's another topic.
If I'm rambling here it's because I'm in part writting this to help me sort this out in my own head.
I'm realizing that I've got to change to nature of my goals. Currently I'm saying I want to earn $250,000.00 by helping people with exceptional online health or wellness advice and materials but money is not a major draw for me. I need to flip it around, I'm going to help over 100,000 people with online materials or programs earning at least a quarter million dollars in the process. The money is more of a bonus and a measurement than a goal in and of itself. I'm more motivated to help others than to help myself.
Another thought rambling around in my head is that when I was a single parent, I largely put my life and ambitions on hold and put seeing about my child first. What I felt was the most alteristic thing to do. However, since then I dated a lawyer who, as a single parent of two, put herself through law school. While she envied the time I was able to spend with my kids, I marvelled at how well her kids came out with only a part-time mom. If they'd suffered it wasn't evident and they certainly weren't suffering now that she was a partner at a law firm. Yes, she was still away from home a lot and no it didn't matter. They totally respected her, as my son did me. It made me totally rethink my life and I swore to do things differently should I ever be in the same situation.
Now I have a family and young son again, so why am I worried about not spending time with them? My wife already noted that they got along just fine before I entered their lives. Perhaps it's just easier for me to play the role I know. But doing so will lead to vastly unsatisfactory results. So what's my hesistation to embracing the effort necessary to succeed at my goals? Failing? It really doesn't matter if I fall short, the effort would make me a better person. It wouldn't be the first goal I fell short on, nor the first I accomplished (made last year's!). Succeeding? Hmmm.. succeeding would require me to be living a very different life than I do now. That is outside my comfort zone. But like hell I want to be a slave to my comfort zone. Getting out of my comfort zone is reason enough to 'just do it'.
Having gotten all my random thoughts nailed down this way helps paint a different picture. Not making the needed sacrifices and doing my best to achieve my goals will lead to a lot of pain. I cannot be in this same spot next year and be happy. There is really nothing to lose in trying. My wife and family will totally support me. Achieving these goals I've set would give me a huge feeling of satisfaction and in fact bring a lot of joy to others, my family included. It's time to start pumping up some 'muscles'. :)
And making some time for my Wii. Gotta have a little fun time.
Looking forward to it!
Yesterday was one of those days.
The point, which came up in conversations, facebook posts, over-heard conversations, and other means was this: If you really want to change the standard of living you're enjoying you have to be willing to extend yourself to do more, be more, take more risk. You can't keep doing what you're doing now and expect to get a new result. You have to play at a whole new level. And that - comes with sacrifice. So what and how much are you willing to scarifice in order to achieve your goals?
My wife and I are currently in the last stages of developing our ten and one year plans. Looking at the goals I have set for myself, it's clear that I am going to have to do a whole lot of stuff I haven't done before. I have to learn new skills, take all sorts of unprecidented actions (for me), and invest a significant amount of time in doing so. I also have to adhere to a high level of excellence and giving more than expected if I hope to rise above the crowd.
To put it simply, if I want to donate a minimum two hours a day to work on my new ventures - that time has to come from somewhere.
Problem is I already feel I don't have any spare time. It's been weeks since I've even gotten to play on my beloved Wii (actually, I did play for 90 minutes the other day when I couldn't sleep at 4am but that's been it). Any time I take to put towards achieving my goals will without question be taken directly from time with my family. Which is a bit of a conflict because developing stronger family and marriage ties is one of my major goals.
Also, how badly do I want to achieve these goals? It's all well and good to say 'I want X amount of money in X time.' But what are you going to do to achieve that? Are you willing to invest the time, the energy and the effort - all of course without any guarantee of initial success.
Now some might say, 'You don't need to work harder, just 'intend it', use 'Law of Attraction.'' Or God will provide, just ask in prayer and have faith. To the latter, I have always found that God rewards those that walk in faith - not sit in faith. IE: Your actions have to be congruent with what you're asking for. If you want to earn an extra million, then you have to start acting and being like someone who's worth a million and that included doing actions that will reasonally produce millions. God will handle the details and unseen opportunities from there.
For those 'Law of Attraction' folks, it's the same deal. BE that which you seek to attract. BE a vibrational match. Sure Jack Canfield used 'Law of Attraction' but if you've ever heard him talk about Chicken Soup for the Soul in other interviews, you know he and Mark Victor Hanson busted their asses for a couple years to get that book noticed. It didn't just 'magically' and effortlessly happen like 'The Secret' makes it seem.
Generally that's always the case. Virtually all 'overnight' sensations didn't have overnight success. They earned it through years of relentless effort. By striving their very best to always be the very best until the world finally noticed.
Personally, it's all God to me, it's just a different way of looking at it. Except being a Christian, God speaks to me (at times) and I strive to obey and that works a lot better than trying to get the Universe to obey me (and missing opportunity that's being provided because it didn't match my expectation). God know's my intent, and prepares the way, but not when it's not in my best interest or I'm not ready. In the latter case, he works on me until I am. At any rate, I digress....
I don't think it's a question of 'IF' I can achieve the lofty goals I set. I believe it. It's hard to imagine, but I've seen enough 'miracles' to not question that a way will present itself if I present myself as ready.
It's a matter of 'WILL I'? Am I willing to push myself that hard, that long for that end? Does it mean enough to me to sacrifice time with my family and my time alone? Does the end justify the means?
The reason most people aren't rich is not because they can't be. It's because they simply aren't willing to take the necessary actions to become rich. It's like bodybuilding. Anyone (barring medical reasons) could be a bodybuilder with immense arms and chest (respective to their sex) but how many of us are? Very few. Why? Because we can't be bothered. We don't precieve the value of being that muscular to the effort required to get there. Same thing with bodybuilding their finances. It's possible, but we don't preceive the value of being that rich as worth the effort to get there. If you did, then you'd be there (or well on your way) already. There's a lot of reasons for us to not see that value equation, but that's another topic.
If I'm rambling here it's because I'm in part writting this to help me sort this out in my own head.
I'm realizing that I've got to change to nature of my goals. Currently I'm saying I want to earn $250,000.00 by helping people with exceptional online health or wellness advice and materials but money is not a major draw for me. I need to flip it around, I'm going to help over 100,000 people with online materials or programs earning at least a quarter million dollars in the process. The money is more of a bonus and a measurement than a goal in and of itself. I'm more motivated to help others than to help myself.
Another thought rambling around in my head is that when I was a single parent, I largely put my life and ambitions on hold and put seeing about my child first. What I felt was the most alteristic thing to do. However, since then I dated a lawyer who, as a single parent of two, put herself through law school. While she envied the time I was able to spend with my kids, I marvelled at how well her kids came out with only a part-time mom. If they'd suffered it wasn't evident and they certainly weren't suffering now that she was a partner at a law firm. Yes, she was still away from home a lot and no it didn't matter. They totally respected her, as my son did me. It made me totally rethink my life and I swore to do things differently should I ever be in the same situation.
Now I have a family and young son again, so why am I worried about not spending time with them? My wife already noted that they got along just fine before I entered their lives. Perhaps it's just easier for me to play the role I know. But doing so will lead to vastly unsatisfactory results. So what's my hesistation to embracing the effort necessary to succeed at my goals? Failing? It really doesn't matter if I fall short, the effort would make me a better person. It wouldn't be the first goal I fell short on, nor the first I accomplished (made last year's!). Succeeding? Hmmm.. succeeding would require me to be living a very different life than I do now. That is outside my comfort zone. But like hell I want to be a slave to my comfort zone. Getting out of my comfort zone is reason enough to 'just do it'.
Having gotten all my random thoughts nailed down this way helps paint a different picture. Not making the needed sacrifices and doing my best to achieve my goals will lead to a lot of pain. I cannot be in this same spot next year and be happy. There is really nothing to lose in trying. My wife and family will totally support me. Achieving these goals I've set would give me a huge feeling of satisfaction and in fact bring a lot of joy to others, my family included. It's time to start pumping up some 'muscles'. :)
And making some time for my Wii. Gotta have a little fun time.
Looking forward to it!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Reposts of Wedding Blog: From the Heart
Love is Patient
Author: The Bible: 1 Corinthians 13:4
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
Author: The Bible: 1 Corinthians 13:4
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
Reposts of Wedding Blog: Wedding Events
Wedding Ceremony
Date/Time: Start: Saturday, December 17th 2011 3:30 p.m.
Finish: 4:00 p.m.
Venue: Rhema Christian Ministries
40 Carl Hall Drive
Downsview Park
Toronto
Ontario
Get directions on Google Maps™ mapping service
Dress Code: Cocktail
Information: www.rhemaonline.com
Coctail Reception
Date/Time: Start: Saturday, December 17th 2011 4:30 p.m.
Finish: 5:30 p.m.
Venue: Chefydrew's International Cuisine
255 Dundas Street East
Toronto
Ontario
Get directions on Google Maps™ mapping service
Dress Code: Cocktail
Information: http://www.chefydrews.com
Wedding Reception with Friends and Family
Date/Time: Start: Saturday, December 17th 2011 5:30 p.m.
Finish: 11:30 p.m.
Venue: Chefydrew's International Cuisine
255 Dundas Street East
Toronto
Ontario
Get directions on Google Maps™ mapping service
Dress Code: Cocktail
Information: http://www.chefydrews.com
Old Year's Open House
Date/Time: Saturday, December 31st 2011 12:00 p.m.
Venue: Our Home
901-100 Merton Street
Toronto
Ontario
M4s 3G1
Get directions on Google Maps™ mapping service
Tel: 416-482-3699
Dress Code: Casual
Date/Time: Start: Saturday, December 17th 2011 3:30 p.m.
Finish: 4:00 p.m.
Venue: Rhema Christian Ministries
40 Carl Hall Drive
Downsview Park
Toronto
Ontario
Get directions on Google Maps™ mapping service
Dress Code: Cocktail
Information: www.rhemaonline.com
Coctail Reception
Date/Time: Start: Saturday, December 17th 2011 4:30 p.m.
Finish: 5:30 p.m.
Venue: Chefydrew's International Cuisine
255 Dundas Street East
Toronto
Ontario
Get directions on Google Maps™ mapping service
Dress Code: Cocktail
Information: http://www.chefydrews.com
Wedding Reception with Friends and Family
Date/Time: Start: Saturday, December 17th 2011 5:30 p.m.
Finish: 11:30 p.m.
Venue: Chefydrew's International Cuisine
255 Dundas Street East
Toronto
Ontario
Get directions on Google Maps™ mapping service
Dress Code: Cocktail
Information: http://www.chefydrews.com
Old Year's Open House
Date/Time: Saturday, December 31st 2011 12:00 p.m.
Venue: Our Home
901-100 Merton Street
Toronto
Ontario
M4s 3G1
Get directions on Google Maps™ mapping service
Tel: 416-482-3699
Dress Code: Casual
Reposts of Wedding Blog: The Proposal
Cathy's Version
I was totally blown away by Preston's proposal. I did not expect it at all
Preston's Version
The victim: Cathy Morenzie
The perpetrator: Preston Squire
The setting: Oro Restaurant
The moment: Friday, November 4th around 11:00pm
The act: On bended knee, 'Will you Cathy-Anne Morenzie do me the great honour of previledge of spending the rest of your life with me?'
The ring: As pictured
She really had no clue what was about to happen. :P
I was totally blown away by Preston's proposal. I did not expect it at all
Preston's Version
The victim: Cathy Morenzie
The perpetrator: Preston Squire
The setting: Oro Restaurant
The moment: Friday, November 4th around 11:00pm
The act: On bended knee, 'Will you Cathy-Anne Morenzie do me the great honour of previledge of spending the rest of your life with me?'
The ring: As pictured
She really had no clue what was about to happen. :P
Reposts of Wedding Blog: Guest Comments
Debbie Squire
I woukld like to extend the very best of wishes and blessings to both the bride and groom.
Monday, 12th December 2011
Beena and Paresh
Hi Preston and Cathy congratulations. May God pour down blessings of happiness and prosperity on your wedding day and throughout your lives. We are really looking forward to your wedding day. Take Care God Bless Love Paresh and Beena
Saturday, 3rd December 2011
Kim Squire
Yay! Congrats to you both!
Wednesday, 30th November 2011
Carol Hamilton
Congratulations Cathy and Preston - Together, may you always find the very best in life. Growing closer day by day as husband and wife....I love Cathy
Thursday, 24th November 2011
Jennifer Inniss & Lee Eastmond
Our most warm felt and loving congratulations!! We are so happy for the two of you! I cannot wait until the ceremony and cannot wait to see the life that unfolds for the two of you! I love you Cath!!
Wednesday, 23rd November 2011
Sarah Oluyomi
Congratulations to you both. I am very, very happy for both you. The hand of God will continue to be upon you and His blessing will will work in your lives. His favor also will be put in operation in your lives and will make things come easy for both of you.
I love you dearly.
Thursday, 17th November 2011
Lisa Armstrong
Congratulations to you both. I'm so excited and happy for you.
Wednesday, 16th November 2011
Tracey Miller
This is SO awesome! Congratulations. I loved looking through this, thanks for sharing your amazing stories. God bless and keep you both.
Tuesday, 15th November 2011
Angelle Whyte
Congratulations Cathy and Preston! My what a wonderful story of love and destiny! I love it.
Beloved Cathy, you deserve the absolute BEST and I am so glad you have your modern day 'Boaz. God is truly GOOD :)
Tuesday, 15th November 2011
Amber Whitman-Currier
Congratulations and many happy years together. The best to both of you.
Tuesday, 15th November 2011
Carla Scotland
congrats to you both
Monday, 14th November 2011
Andria Thompson
Congrats hun! All the best to you both!
Lot's of love,
Andria
Monday, 14th November 2011
I woukld like to extend the very best of wishes and blessings to both the bride and groom.
Monday, 12th December 2011
Beena and Paresh
Hi Preston and Cathy congratulations. May God pour down blessings of happiness and prosperity on your wedding day and throughout your lives. We are really looking forward to your wedding day. Take Care God Bless Love Paresh and Beena
Saturday, 3rd December 2011
Kim Squire
Yay! Congrats to you both!
Wednesday, 30th November 2011
Carol Hamilton
Congratulations Cathy and Preston - Together, may you always find the very best in life. Growing closer day by day as husband and wife....I love Cathy
Thursday, 24th November 2011
Jennifer Inniss & Lee Eastmond
Our most warm felt and loving congratulations!! We are so happy for the two of you! I cannot wait until the ceremony and cannot wait to see the life that unfolds for the two of you! I love you Cath!!
Wednesday, 23rd November 2011
Sarah Oluyomi
Congratulations to you both. I am very, very happy for both you. The hand of God will continue to be upon you and His blessing will will work in your lives. His favor also will be put in operation in your lives and will make things come easy for both of you.
I love you dearly.
Thursday, 17th November 2011
Lisa Armstrong
Congratulations to you both. I'm so excited and happy for you.
Wednesday, 16th November 2011
Tracey Miller
This is SO awesome! Congratulations. I loved looking through this, thanks for sharing your amazing stories. God bless and keep you both.
Tuesday, 15th November 2011
Angelle Whyte
Congratulations Cathy and Preston! My what a wonderful story of love and destiny! I love it.
Beloved Cathy, you deserve the absolute BEST and I am so glad you have your modern day 'Boaz. God is truly GOOD :)
Tuesday, 15th November 2011
Amber Whitman-Currier
Congratulations and many happy years together. The best to both of you.
Tuesday, 15th November 2011
Carla Scotland
congrats to you both
Monday, 14th November 2011
Andria Thompson
Congrats hun! All the best to you both!
Lot's of love,
Andria
Monday, 14th November 2011
Reposts of Wedding Blog - Preston's Dec 12th Post (FINAL)
Cathy and I would like to thank our friends and family for the wonderful bachelor's party and bridal shower they hosted over the weekend.
It is really touching to us to think of the time and effort that was involved in putting these on, especially when they were largely organized by those same people who are already deeply involved in the actual wedding planning. Of course, we acknowledge that it's a busy time of year for everyone, with the holidays almost upon us, so the effort is just that much more appreciated.
It's always a pleasure and delight to be surrounded by friends and family, especially on a happy occasion as this.
For me it is a delight to have my adult son be able to share in these fond memories with me, and indeed, he took the lead in organizing my bachelor party, for which I'm very grateful. Of course, it was great to see so many of my friends together - for the first time ever. Thanks to everyone who came!
Cathy's friends did an amazing job of organizing the bridal shower, complete with fancy agendas, a delicious red velvet cake (still loving that ladies - thank you), balloons, decor, games and more. I only caught the last couple minutes of that affair but I was very impressed. Also, lovely gifts ladies! Thank-you!
Five days to go and everyone involved has a full plate for every one of them. I'm sure the wedding will be here before we even know it!
I look forward to seeing everyone on Saturday! Hope you all enjoy it as much as we do!
It is really touching to us to think of the time and effort that was involved in putting these on, especially when they were largely organized by those same people who are already deeply involved in the actual wedding planning. Of course, we acknowledge that it's a busy time of year for everyone, with the holidays almost upon us, so the effort is just that much more appreciated.
It's always a pleasure and delight to be surrounded by friends and family, especially on a happy occasion as this.
For me it is a delight to have my adult son be able to share in these fond memories with me, and indeed, he took the lead in organizing my bachelor party, for which I'm very grateful. Of course, it was great to see so many of my friends together - for the first time ever. Thanks to everyone who came!
Cathy's friends did an amazing job of organizing the bridal shower, complete with fancy agendas, a delicious red velvet cake (still loving that ladies - thank you), balloons, decor, games and more. I only caught the last couple minutes of that affair but I was very impressed. Also, lovely gifts ladies! Thank-you!
Five days to go and everyone involved has a full plate for every one of them. I'm sure the wedding will be here before we even know it!
I look forward to seeing everyone on Saturday! Hope you all enjoy it as much as we do!
Reposts of Wedding Blog - Preston's Dec 10th Post
It is a little hard to imagine that in exactly one week's time, I will (once again) be a married man.
It is a notion that fills my heart with so much joy that the continued thought of it brings moisture to my eyes.
There are many aspects to that joy. The fact that despite the fact that my friends will - no doubt - desend upon me 'unexpectedly' any minute now and take me out for a night in the male tradition of relishing in the last visage of singleness - being single, with all that entails - no longer has any meaning for me. If anything I was single far too long already. Tired of the pursuit of women. Bored of the 'freedoms' given. I do not look at my old life passing and feel any sense of remorse, quite conversely, I see only unearned gain in the impending new life.
The fact that it is not of my own accord that I have thusly been blessed with this precious gift of the life of Cathy (and Jojo!) but by the mercy and grace of my Lord in Heaven. For it is purely only out of obidence to Him, that I persisted when I could see no way, and only through His subtle influences that my missteps were corrected or forgiven, time and again. When I walked His path, the relationship soared. When I walked mine, it crashed. When I ultimately submitted to living His way not mine, then suddenly and unexpectly everything fell perfectly into place for our engagement.
The fact that after so long a time I've finally found someone whom I can really see myself living with until 'death due us part'.
The fact that I have an oppurtunity to create a family life, with someone who shares the same values as opposed to on my own or with someone of vastly different principals.
There are many more points I could list off, most of which you could guess but my time is at an end.
Often I'm asked if I'm nervous and the answer is simply 'no'. I am happy and blissfully calm. True there are a thousands little details that might go wrong, but at the end of the day, we will be married and in the end, that's all that matters.
It is a notion that fills my heart with so much joy that the continued thought of it brings moisture to my eyes.
There are many aspects to that joy. The fact that despite the fact that my friends will - no doubt - desend upon me 'unexpectedly' any minute now and take me out for a night in the male tradition of relishing in the last visage of singleness - being single, with all that entails - no longer has any meaning for me. If anything I was single far too long already. Tired of the pursuit of women. Bored of the 'freedoms' given. I do not look at my old life passing and feel any sense of remorse, quite conversely, I see only unearned gain in the impending new life.
The fact that it is not of my own accord that I have thusly been blessed with this precious gift of the life of Cathy (and Jojo!) but by the mercy and grace of my Lord in Heaven. For it is purely only out of obidence to Him, that I persisted when I could see no way, and only through His subtle influences that my missteps were corrected or forgiven, time and again. When I walked His path, the relationship soared. When I walked mine, it crashed. When I ultimately submitted to living His way not mine, then suddenly and unexpectly everything fell perfectly into place for our engagement.
The fact that after so long a time I've finally found someone whom I can really see myself living with until 'death due us part'.
The fact that I have an oppurtunity to create a family life, with someone who shares the same values as opposed to on my own or with someone of vastly different principals.
There are many more points I could list off, most of which you could guess but my time is at an end.
Often I'm asked if I'm nervous and the answer is simply 'no'. I am happy and blissfully calm. True there are a thousands little details that might go wrong, but at the end of the day, we will be married and in the end, that's all that matters.
Reposts of Wedding Blog - Preston's Dec 9th Post
8 days to go! I'm so excited, and so, incredibly busy!
As you all know by now (or sure ought to!) we've changed the wedding venue from Orangeville to Toronto. So while in the midst of juggling a hundred different little wedding odds and ends (and Cathy is doing an absolutely awesome job of keeping on top of everything - with some help from her friends!) we had to put everything on hold while we re-assesed what we wanted and then found new venues.
Rhema might seem like the obvious and first choice, but I assure you, Cathy, I and my friend called a lot of places before we finally said, 'Why not Rhema?'
Personally I wanted the Carlu for all of you but it wasn't in the budget. :P
The reception is being held at the caterer's restuarant. We're taking over the entire place which is great because then we can go in and decorate, take over the music, display whatever we want on the tvs and have the bar all to ourselves. It's also a smaller and more intimate space, more in keeping with our original vision.
Plus, because it saves the caterer a lot of hassle, time and staffing to host in his own place, our costs we reduced too. Nice.
Now that that is all settled, we're back to juggling 100 things, with a whole week less to do them! O_o
The next week is going to be very, very busy. However, now that the wedding has been reframed and relocated, we're looking forward to it even more than ever!
As you all know by now (or sure ought to!) we've changed the wedding venue from Orangeville to Toronto. So while in the midst of juggling a hundred different little wedding odds and ends (and Cathy is doing an absolutely awesome job of keeping on top of everything - with some help from her friends!) we had to put everything on hold while we re-assesed what we wanted and then found new venues.
Rhema might seem like the obvious and first choice, but I assure you, Cathy, I and my friend called a lot of places before we finally said, 'Why not Rhema?'
Personally I wanted the Carlu for all of you but it wasn't in the budget. :P
The reception is being held at the caterer's restuarant. We're taking over the entire place which is great because then we can go in and decorate, take over the music, display whatever we want on the tvs and have the bar all to ourselves. It's also a smaller and more intimate space, more in keeping with our original vision.
Plus, because it saves the caterer a lot of hassle, time and staffing to host in his own place, our costs we reduced too. Nice.
Now that that is all settled, we're back to juggling 100 things, with a whole week less to do them! O_o
The next week is going to be very, very busy. However, now that the wedding has been reframed and relocated, we're looking forward to it even more than ever!
Reposts of Wedding Blog - Cathy's Dec 8th Post
Now I finally understand why some people take a year to plan a wedding! What the heck were we thinking?
Up to one week ago things were going smoothly. In fact, one of my clients commented that she would be so mad if we pulled off a 6 week wedding without a hitch. Needless to say, that's the day when everything fell apart! ( I'm still mad at her)
The details of all that went amiss are not necessary but let me summarize by saying that as of 7:00 pm last night. Our entire wedding has been moved from Orangeville to Toronto. In 2 days we managed to find a new site for our wedding ceremony ( my home church) and for our reception ( our caterers restaurant downtown). As faith-filled as we both are, we just could not trust that the weather would co-operate on our wedding day—especially up North.
Over the last week we’ve secured our marriage certificate. ( yes, my divorce certificate finally came in); we finalized the menu; we’ve got our wedding bands, cake knife and other misc. items engraved ( so much for low key wedding); in the midst of it all, we’re also undergoing INTENSE pre-marital counseling which has been invaluable.
Today I’m going shopping for a wedding dress! ( it’s another long story)
Overall, I’ve learned to let go of all the expectations and minuscule details that I was holding on to which has freed me up to enjoy the blessing of this wedding process- especially my supportive friends. Their support and encouragement has been one of the highlights of this entire process.
Preston has been amazing. He has been actively involved in the process and is allowing his creative giftings to shine.
One last thing… I’m loving how my son has embraced his 'new normal'. When he’s happy, then I’m happy.
Looking forward to our wedding day !!!
Up to one week ago things were going smoothly. In fact, one of my clients commented that she would be so mad if we pulled off a 6 week wedding without a hitch. Needless to say, that's the day when everything fell apart! ( I'm still mad at her)
The details of all that went amiss are not necessary but let me summarize by saying that as of 7:00 pm last night. Our entire wedding has been moved from Orangeville to Toronto. In 2 days we managed to find a new site for our wedding ceremony ( my home church) and for our reception ( our caterers restaurant downtown). As faith-filled as we both are, we just could not trust that the weather would co-operate on our wedding day—especially up North.
Over the last week we’ve secured our marriage certificate. ( yes, my divorce certificate finally came in); we finalized the menu; we’ve got our wedding bands, cake knife and other misc. items engraved ( so much for low key wedding); in the midst of it all, we’re also undergoing INTENSE pre-marital counseling which has been invaluable.
Today I’m going shopping for a wedding dress! ( it’s another long story)
Overall, I’ve learned to let go of all the expectations and minuscule details that I was holding on to which has freed me up to enjoy the blessing of this wedding process- especially my supportive friends. Their support and encouragement has been one of the highlights of this entire process.
Preston has been amazing. He has been actively involved in the process and is allowing his creative giftings to shine.
One last thing… I’m loving how my son has embraced his 'new normal'. When he’s happy, then I’m happy.
Looking forward to our wedding day !!!
Reposts of Wedding Blog - Preston's Dec 1st Post
Only 16 days to go - yikes!!
The good news is we have all the major stuff settled but there's still endless details to see about.
We have a Caribbean caterer who's quite good (at least the food at his restuarant is consistantly good). It won't be all caribbean fare of course, but a nice blend with roast beef, Jerk Chicken, vegetarian lasagna, soup, salads, etc.
Cathy has been keeping very busy seeing about various details. She's had a lot of help in this with advice from a marriage planner and a detailed-oriented friend who really helped to break it all down into daily action items.
We took my daughter out last night dress shopping. Found a nice dress that goes with the colour theme perfectly. Cathy met up with her and my son for a couple hours before Jojo and I were able to join them. It was the first time they had spend time alone with her and it was good to see how well the families are messing together.
We had planned to sit down with all the children and make sure everyone was feeling comfortable and a part of what's happening but by the time a dress was finally decided on, we were all so tired, everyone just wanted to get home.
At any rate, all the children seem completely comfortable with the situation which is just another blessing from God.
The good news is we have all the major stuff settled but there's still endless details to see about.
We have a Caribbean caterer who's quite good (at least the food at his restuarant is consistantly good). It won't be all caribbean fare of course, but a nice blend with roast beef, Jerk Chicken, vegetarian lasagna, soup, salads, etc.
Cathy has been keeping very busy seeing about various details. She's had a lot of help in this with advice from a marriage planner and a detailed-oriented friend who really helped to break it all down into daily action items.
We took my daughter out last night dress shopping. Found a nice dress that goes with the colour theme perfectly. Cathy met up with her and my son for a couple hours before Jojo and I were able to join them. It was the first time they had spend time alone with her and it was good to see how well the families are messing together.
We had planned to sit down with all the children and make sure everyone was feeling comfortable and a part of what's happening but by the time a dress was finally decided on, we were all so tired, everyone just wanted to get home.
At any rate, all the children seem completely comfortable with the situation which is just another blessing from God.
Reposts of Wedding Blog - Cathy's Nov 27th Post
Today was our first pre-marital counseling session. Our 1 hour session lasted over 2.5 hours. It was powerful, insightful, thought-provoking and a bit unnerving. Both Preston and I were amazed at the pastors ability to read between the lines and pick up on any little cues that he felt we needed to discuss.
Our first session did exactly what it was intended to do; highlight the significance of marriage on all levels; to help us understand the magnitude of what we were entering into; to give us food for thought in areas of our relationship that we will need to grow and develop and to teach us how to fireproof our marriage.
We left our session with lots to talk about on our own. More importantly, it is helping us to really understand what it really means for two to become one. There is no other way that a relationship can survive unless we both unite our hearts, minds and spirits and make God the head of our relationship.
I'm nervously awaiting our second session next week.
Extremely productive day with wedding plans...
We found our wedding bands today after weeks of searching for the perfect pair...
We found shirts and ties for the men in the wedding party ( our sons)...
I found the perfect accessory for my dress...
With all the busyness of the day we still found time to put up the Christmas tree and purchase 2 Christmas gifts -yippee!!
Its pretty cool seeing the bonding that's starting to happen between my son and Preston. I think Preston got hit in the head with a nerf bullet today- what a trooper- he took it all in stride. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched them wrestling and play-fighting and I give God thanks.
As my son prayed at bedtime, I heard him thank God for his new father-- really choked me up....
Our first session did exactly what it was intended to do; highlight the significance of marriage on all levels; to help us understand the magnitude of what we were entering into; to give us food for thought in areas of our relationship that we will need to grow and develop and to teach us how to fireproof our marriage.
We left our session with lots to talk about on our own. More importantly, it is helping us to really understand what it really means for two to become one. There is no other way that a relationship can survive unless we both unite our hearts, minds and spirits and make God the head of our relationship.
I'm nervously awaiting our second session next week.
Extremely productive day with wedding plans...
We found our wedding bands today after weeks of searching for the perfect pair...
We found shirts and ties for the men in the wedding party ( our sons)...
I found the perfect accessory for my dress...
With all the busyness of the day we still found time to put up the Christmas tree and purchase 2 Christmas gifts -yippee!!
Its pretty cool seeing the bonding that's starting to happen between my son and Preston. I think Preston got hit in the head with a nerf bullet today- what a trooper- he took it all in stride. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched them wrestling and play-fighting and I give God thanks.
As my son prayed at bedtime, I heard him thank God for his new father-- really choked me up....
Reposts of Wedding Blog - Cathy's Nov 26th Post
My friend Angelle is an amazing details person. She has helped me to break things down to the finest detail. With her wisdom ( and gently pushing to keep moving the process forward each day) I am able to stay on track with all of the wedding details.
On Monday night ( at her suggestion). I'm going to meet with a wedding planner. To prepare for my meeting with her, I'm taking the time today to be sure that Preston and I are clear of our vision for our wedding.
Went shopping to find a shawl or shift to cover my arms for the ceremony-- no luck today.
Talked to two caterers today. There's pros and cons for both. We will need to make a decision by Monday on which one we're going to choose. Times winding down...
Preston and I ( okay Preston) went over our vows that were given to us by our church. We ( mostly Preston) plan to write our own vows but have to make sure that some of the 'essential' ingredients from the traditional vows are part of the vows that we write. Reading through the vows gave me goosebumps !
On Monday night ( at her suggestion). I'm going to meet with a wedding planner. To prepare for my meeting with her, I'm taking the time today to be sure that Preston and I are clear of our vision for our wedding.
Went shopping to find a shawl or shift to cover my arms for the ceremony-- no luck today.
Talked to two caterers today. There's pros and cons for both. We will need to make a decision by Monday on which one we're going to choose. Times winding down...
Preston and I ( okay Preston) went over our vows that were given to us by our church. We ( mostly Preston) plan to write our own vows but have to make sure that some of the 'essential' ingredients from the traditional vows are part of the vows that we write. Reading through the vows gave me goosebumps !
Reposts of Wedding Blog - Cathy's Nov 25th Post
I'd been pray that Friday night would go well and I'm pleased to say that it went even better than I could ever have imagined.
We were meeting at a restaurant to celebrate Preston's son's birthday and I must admit that I was a bit nervous. I was not sure what to expect. I guess I thought I would feel outnumber being around all of Preston's family and friends however, it was completely the opposite.
All of Preston's family was very warm and friendly and we all left feeling excited to see each other again at the wedding and over the Christmas holidays.
On the wedding front...
Got my hair done today. I was trying out a wedding hair style. Liked it but it was not a real wedding hairstyle- pretty understated. If anyone can think of a cute style for short hair please let me know...
R.S.V.P's are coming in and I continue to be overwhelmed by the flood of support from my family and friends.
Still trying to finalize the caterer.
That's all for today
We were meeting at a restaurant to celebrate Preston's son's birthday and I must admit that I was a bit nervous. I was not sure what to expect. I guess I thought I would feel outnumber being around all of Preston's family and friends however, it was completely the opposite.
All of Preston's family was very warm and friendly and we all left feeling excited to see each other again at the wedding and over the Christmas holidays.
On the wedding front...
Got my hair done today. I was trying out a wedding hair style. Liked it but it was not a real wedding hairstyle- pretty understated. If anyone can think of a cute style for short hair please let me know...
R.S.V.P's are coming in and I continue to be overwhelmed by the flood of support from my family and friends.
Still trying to finalize the caterer.
That's all for today
Reposts of Wedding Blog - Preston's Nov 25th Post
Perhaps the biggest adjustment this marriage represents is the merger of two people's lives who have been not only very independant for the last fifteen years but also have been independant single parents for the majority of those years.
That is to say, we're both used to being master of our domains.
Over the last couple of days, Cathy has begun the process of physically making room for me in her place (we're looking for larger accommodations for going forward but for now, her place will have to do). This is both heart-warmingly touching, as I know how much she loves her 'stuff' and what a sacrifice it is for her to have to go through everything to make room in her closets and apartment for me and (some of) my 'stuff'. At the same time, it's also symbolic of my losing my free reign of closet and living space. Not to mention free reign over my time and life in general.
Someone once told Cathy that I have a 'Ministry of Consistency'. To a large degree this is true. I am the type of guy that once I'm decided on something, I'm staying the course. For example, after reading about pig farms (if you don't know what I'm referring to already, you don't want to) I told my ex. that I wasn't going to eat pork anymore. She smiled, rolled her eyes and figured that'd last about a week. Twenty years later, I still havn't eaten pork in any form (no, not even bacon).
The great thing is, I know Cathy is the same way. Once committed, she's staying the course and that gives me a sense of happiness I cannot adequately express in mere words. I so look forward to growing old and grey(er) with her in my arms, every step of the way. I don't think every day will be sunshine. It's got to rain a little some, sometime. However as long as I know I have a wonderful partner that's commited to making it work, through thick and thin, even when I'm being an idiot (which I try not to do) then what more could I possibly ask for?
At the same time, that 'Ministry of Consistency' is not overly thrilled at the sudden drastic change that is about to happen. Afterall, that's very inconsistent with my status quo. The change is, of course, an immensely good thing. However, it does rub against the grain a bit and understanding my nature I appreciate that it can leave me feeling a bit uncomfortable. However, the pro's more than overwhelm any cons and a bit of discomfort isn't about to change my mind. Fact is, I'm already decided. I'm staying the course for better or for much better!
In other news, had a wonderful night celebrating my son's 20th birthday which also gave Cathy a great oppurtunity to get reaquainted with many of my friends and relatives who will also be attending the wedding. It was a lot of fun and my son, being the social butterfly that he is, was really in his element and had a tremendous time.
That is to say, we're both used to being master of our domains.
Over the last couple of days, Cathy has begun the process of physically making room for me in her place (we're looking for larger accommodations for going forward but for now, her place will have to do). This is both heart-warmingly touching, as I know how much she loves her 'stuff' and what a sacrifice it is for her to have to go through everything to make room in her closets and apartment for me and (some of) my 'stuff'. At the same time, it's also symbolic of my losing my free reign of closet and living space. Not to mention free reign over my time and life in general.
Someone once told Cathy that I have a 'Ministry of Consistency'. To a large degree this is true. I am the type of guy that once I'm decided on something, I'm staying the course. For example, after reading about pig farms (if you don't know what I'm referring to already, you don't want to) I told my ex. that I wasn't going to eat pork anymore. She smiled, rolled her eyes and figured that'd last about a week. Twenty years later, I still havn't eaten pork in any form (no, not even bacon).
The great thing is, I know Cathy is the same way. Once committed, she's staying the course and that gives me a sense of happiness I cannot adequately express in mere words. I so look forward to growing old and grey(er) with her in my arms, every step of the way. I don't think every day will be sunshine. It's got to rain a little some, sometime. However as long as I know I have a wonderful partner that's commited to making it work, through thick and thin, even when I'm being an idiot (which I try not to do) then what more could I possibly ask for?
At the same time, that 'Ministry of Consistency' is not overly thrilled at the sudden drastic change that is about to happen. Afterall, that's very inconsistent with my status quo. The change is, of course, an immensely good thing. However, it does rub against the grain a bit and understanding my nature I appreciate that it can leave me feeling a bit uncomfortable. However, the pro's more than overwhelm any cons and a bit of discomfort isn't about to change my mind. Fact is, I'm already decided. I'm staying the course for better or for much better!
In other news, had a wonderful night celebrating my son's 20th birthday which also gave Cathy a great oppurtunity to get reaquainted with many of my friends and relatives who will also be attending the wedding. It was a lot of fun and my son, being the social butterfly that he is, was really in his element and had a tremendous time.
Reposts of Wedding Blog - Preston's Nov 24th Post
Having fun picking out wedding songs, especially for the reception. Trying my best to find a great selection of fun and romantic songs from every decade, yet at the same time trying to stay away from some of the overused choices. I'd like everyone to go, 'Oh, yeah, I used to love this song' instead of 'Good Grief, not 'Hot, hot, hot' again!'.
Also spent some time working on honeymoon details. Wish I could get into more details on that but it's remaining a surprise. Although I will say, we're taking a short honeymoon immediately after the ceremony but saving the 'real' one for January when it's not interfering with Christmas (and yes, costs less to fly out too).
Cathy and I were just talking about how we're going to have our hands very full, going from my son's birthday celebration tomorrow (his actual birthday is Monday), to the wedding, to Christmas, to New Years, to our honeymoon in January, to four birthdays in February, plus Valentines, plus Family Day. Whew! I'm tired just thinking about it.
Finalizing details with Singing Waters, as well. They've changed the overnight stay from $50 to $60 and that's per person in a shared room (two single beds - great for couples who prefer to sleep apart or buddies but not much else). However, that makes the Best Western at $159 a much more enticing prospect. I'll look for some B&B's for people who may be cost conscious at an additional option.
Cathy and I are also still shopping for the perfect (for us) wedding rings. She found some she really liked but we didn't get time to check them out together as yet.
Then there's the suit rentals for our bridal party (if you can call it that - we're forgoing a traditional bridal party and just having the kids with us as we join in union). One more detail I was doing research on today.
Also spent some time working on honeymoon details. Wish I could get into more details on that but it's remaining a surprise. Although I will say, we're taking a short honeymoon immediately after the ceremony but saving the 'real' one for January when it's not interfering with Christmas (and yes, costs less to fly out too).
Cathy and I were just talking about how we're going to have our hands very full, going from my son's birthday celebration tomorrow (his actual birthday is Monday), to the wedding, to Christmas, to New Years, to our honeymoon in January, to four birthdays in February, plus Valentines, plus Family Day. Whew! I'm tired just thinking about it.
Finalizing details with Singing Waters, as well. They've changed the overnight stay from $50 to $60 and that's per person in a shared room (two single beds - great for couples who prefer to sleep apart or buddies but not much else). However, that makes the Best Western at $159 a much more enticing prospect. I'll look for some B&B's for people who may be cost conscious at an additional option.
Cathy and I are also still shopping for the perfect (for us) wedding rings. She found some she really liked but we didn't get time to check them out together as yet.
Then there's the suit rentals for our bridal party (if you can call it that - we're forgoing a traditional bridal party and just having the kids with us as we join in union). One more detail I was doing research on today.
Reposts of Wedding Blog - Preston's Nov 23rd Post
It's 2am and I can't sleep so I figured I might as well add to this blog.
Cathy and I had hoped to make this a daily blog but with everything going on, wedding plans, my son's birthday plans, Christmas and then regular life in general, it's proven impossible to get to it everyday. Not that it really matters in the end.
I know my sweet fiancee spent an hour writing one for Monday but it got erased and she didn't have time to redo it. C'est la vie. Would have liked to read it myself though.
Biggest news for today was that the invites went out! People have started to RSVP and hits to the site continue to grow at an impressive rate. Over 450 as of this entry. Looks like most people will be staying overnight if initial impressions are anything to go on.
Cathy found a store selling decor (for the tables) at 60% off. She also found a creative solution for a belt for her dress. I never knew she was so creative. I hope she doesn't mind me scooping that tidbit. Hopefully she'll be grateful I've saved her a blog entry.
We were working on the song selections tonight which was a fun task. We found a helpful website which suggested songs for all the various aspects of the wedding. Although for the reception, we had plenty of ideas already.
So many details to see about and I'm sure there must be a whole bunch my lovely bride-to-be is on top off that I'm not even aware of.
Cathy and I had hoped to make this a daily blog but with everything going on, wedding plans, my son's birthday plans, Christmas and then regular life in general, it's proven impossible to get to it everyday. Not that it really matters in the end.
I know my sweet fiancee spent an hour writing one for Monday but it got erased and she didn't have time to redo it. C'est la vie. Would have liked to read it myself though.
Biggest news for today was that the invites went out! People have started to RSVP and hits to the site continue to grow at an impressive rate. Over 450 as of this entry. Looks like most people will be staying overnight if initial impressions are anything to go on.
Cathy found a store selling decor (for the tables) at 60% off. She also found a creative solution for a belt for her dress. I never knew she was so creative. I hope she doesn't mind me scooping that tidbit. Hopefully she'll be grateful I've saved her a blog entry.
We were working on the song selections tonight which was a fun task. We found a helpful website which suggested songs for all the various aspects of the wedding. Although for the reception, we had plenty of ideas already.
So many details to see about and I'm sure there must be a whole bunch my lovely bride-to-be is on top off that I'm not even aware of.
Reposts of Wedding Blog - Preston's Nov 20th Post
So I'm back from my weekend away - somewhat ironically, at Singing Waters - deepening my Christian walk.
This is important to me as Cathy, as a strong woman of God, will be looking to me, as her husband, to provide a strong God-centred foundation for our joined families. Beyond that, the more I learn to depend on Him, the better my life gets.
Without going into detail, I certainly found it an enlightening weekend. Releasing some of the old resentments of the past, and more importantly, shifting my focus from knowing God in my head to knowing Him in my heart.
Speaking of heart, I shutter to think of the long distance charges my longing heart racked up talking to Cathy over this weekend.
Reading Cathy's blog entries, she's shares her anxiety over sharing her space. For myself, I don't mind sharing my space so much, it's more the loss of my time 'freedom' that makes me anxious. Being able to do whatever, whenever, however I want without having to consider anyone else. Be that writing, blogging, going out with my friends or just goofing off playing video games. It's not a freedom I've been able to enjoy very long, having been married at a very young age and a single parent up until recently. So to forsake that freedom again, so soon after finally regaining it, stings.
To be honest, it's not like I've used that freedom very productively and knowing myself, I've always been more motivated to do something for someone else's benefit than I am for my own benefit. So in the long run, it's just as well, I'm sure I'll be better off in more ways than I can count.
Of course, the added benefit of having someone(s) precious to spend all that time with is the most wonderful gift of all.
This is important to me as Cathy, as a strong woman of God, will be looking to me, as her husband, to provide a strong God-centred foundation for our joined families. Beyond that, the more I learn to depend on Him, the better my life gets.
Without going into detail, I certainly found it an enlightening weekend. Releasing some of the old resentments of the past, and more importantly, shifting my focus from knowing God in my head to knowing Him in my heart.
Speaking of heart, I shutter to think of the long distance charges my longing heart racked up talking to Cathy over this weekend.
Reading Cathy's blog entries, she's shares her anxiety over sharing her space. For myself, I don't mind sharing my space so much, it's more the loss of my time 'freedom' that makes me anxious. Being able to do whatever, whenever, however I want without having to consider anyone else. Be that writing, blogging, going out with my friends or just goofing off playing video games. It's not a freedom I've been able to enjoy very long, having been married at a very young age and a single parent up until recently. So to forsake that freedom again, so soon after finally regaining it, stings.
To be honest, it's not like I've used that freedom very productively and knowing myself, I've always been more motivated to do something for someone else's benefit than I am for my own benefit. So in the long run, it's just as well, I'm sure I'll be better off in more ways than I can count.
Of course, the added benefit of having someone(s) precious to spend all that time with is the most wonderful gift of all.
Reposts of Wedding Blog - Cathy's Nov 19th Post
Not a big wedding planning day. I started the day teaching an exercise class which was great then had to rush to a soccer game then soccer practise then a client so by 3:00 pm my brain was fried. That meant pizza for dinner today ( don’t tell my clients) followed by a movie to clear my mind of all the wedding plans.
Preston is away for the weekend and for the first time since I can remember, I felt an ache in my heart that was overwhelming. I was a feeling utter nakedness and vulnerability. Wow, what a journey I'm on....I can’t remember the last time that I missed someone that much. Had I really closed my heart that long ago? Co-incidentally ( not) the exact second I called him on the phone he was calling me. We got a chuckle out of the synchronicity of our heart.
Despite my seemingly unproductive wedding planning day, I managed to finalize the invitations which should be ready to be e-mailed out tomorrow. It seems like a technicality since everyone who we want there already knows verbally. I also worked on the guest list. This is a challenge because the space we want only holds 110 people and my list keeps growing by the minute. I’m blessed to have such a great network of friends but it makes it a challenge when planning a big event with restricted space.
I also spend some time thinking through a theme for our big day. We both love purple so we could run with that; Christmas so that is also an obvious choice. Yet the thought of a snowflake keeps coming back to my mind. There’s something about its uniqueness, simplicity and beauty that is drawing me to this theme. I will discuss it with Preston when I see him and see how he feels about it.
I hope he likes it. ( with 28 days to go, he better like it!)
Preston is away for the weekend and for the first time since I can remember, I felt an ache in my heart that was overwhelming. I was a feeling utter nakedness and vulnerability. Wow, what a journey I'm on....I can’t remember the last time that I missed someone that much. Had I really closed my heart that long ago? Co-incidentally ( not) the exact second I called him on the phone he was calling me. We got a chuckle out of the synchronicity of our heart.
Despite my seemingly unproductive wedding planning day, I managed to finalize the invitations which should be ready to be e-mailed out tomorrow. It seems like a technicality since everyone who we want there already knows verbally. I also worked on the guest list. This is a challenge because the space we want only holds 110 people and my list keeps growing by the minute. I’m blessed to have such a great network of friends but it makes it a challenge when planning a big event with restricted space.
I also spend some time thinking through a theme for our big day. We both love purple so we could run with that; Christmas so that is also an obvious choice. Yet the thought of a snowflake keeps coming back to my mind. There’s something about its uniqueness, simplicity and beauty that is drawing me to this theme. I will discuss it with Preston when I see him and see how he feels about it.
I hope he likes it. ( with 28 days to go, he better like it!)
Reposts of Wedding Blog - Cathy's Nov 18th Post
We could not have asked for a more perfect day for our family photo shoot. All the kids were off school, Preston had the day off, I had some last minute cancellations and the weather was so mild, we were able to take the photos without winter coats on.
The highlight of the day was seeing our 3 kids begin to bond in the back seat of the car on our way back from the photo shoot. Preston has two older kids, 16 and 20 and my son is 11. They were joking around about the new adventures they would be having and creating ( at the expense of my son- the new baby brother- lol). Preston and I exchanged glances as we were so tickled to see the bonding starting to happen.
We then headed down to Singing Waters to meet with the co-coordinators to confirm the menu and all the other wedding details. As we did a walk through, Pres. stood in the spot where we plan ( a fireplace) to be married and I could feel that flurry of butterflies in my stomach. In less than 30 days I will be standing in this exact spot pledging my love to this man for the rest of my life- whooa ! Joy, fear, excitement, panic, love, and anxiety all flood through my mind and body and I can physically feel it in my stomach and my throat yet at the end of all those emotions, there is a sense of peace, a sweet peace that all will be well.
I remember what God has been telling me for the last few years, ‘To create the life I want, I must be willing to let go of the life I have.’ It’s quite possible that some famous person said this quote but God keeps bringing it to my mind.
Today
Menu clarified-- check
Part of wedding cake -- check
Location-- check
Bombonieres -- check
Shoes-- check ( at least the back up pair)
Hairdresser booked-- check
The highlight of the day was seeing our 3 kids begin to bond in the back seat of the car on our way back from the photo shoot. Preston has two older kids, 16 and 20 and my son is 11. They were joking around about the new adventures they would be having and creating ( at the expense of my son- the new baby brother- lol). Preston and I exchanged glances as we were so tickled to see the bonding starting to happen.
We then headed down to Singing Waters to meet with the co-coordinators to confirm the menu and all the other wedding details. As we did a walk through, Pres. stood in the spot where we plan ( a fireplace) to be married and I could feel that flurry of butterflies in my stomach. In less than 30 days I will be standing in this exact spot pledging my love to this man for the rest of my life- whooa ! Joy, fear, excitement, panic, love, and anxiety all flood through my mind and body and I can physically feel it in my stomach and my throat yet at the end of all those emotions, there is a sense of peace, a sweet peace that all will be well.
I remember what God has been telling me for the last few years, ‘To create the life I want, I must be willing to let go of the life I have.’ It’s quite possible that some famous person said this quote but God keeps bringing it to my mind.
Today
Menu clarified-- check
Part of wedding cake -- check
Location-- check
Bombonieres -- check
Shoes-- check ( at least the back up pair)
Hairdresser booked-- check
Reposts of Wedding Blog - Cathy's Nov 17th Post
Despite things progressing smoothly, I found anxiety building up in me today.
Let me talk about the progress first. Hope ( one of my clients) continues to be a great idea generator. We came up with some great ideas today. We're going to do cupcakes instead of a traditional cake. I'm going to stay at Singing Waters the night before the wedding and we've organized what the cocktail hour will look like. I feel like I should be paying her for our training session!
1 major S.N.A.F.U-- still can't find my divorce certificate. I've actually hired an on-line search firm to find it. If anyone has any ideas, I would much appreciate it.
Now, on to the reason for my anxiety today ( because there had to be more to it that my missing divorce certificate. Jojo and I currently live in a 2 bedroom apartment. Preston lives in a 1 bedroom. We've applied to move to a 3-bedroom apartment for the next year but there are currently none available. We don't want to move immediately because we think that Jojo ( all of us for that matter) will have enough adjustments to make without also having to adjust to a new area, new school, new friends. We don't want to overwhelm him with everything at once.
The problem is--I love my space. I've set my apartment up how I want it. I have a place for everything. I know exactly where everything is. The thought of more furniture in an already small space frightens me. The thought of mismatched furniture and mismatched dishes frightens me. The thought of sharing my clothes closet petrifies me- its already cramped!!! I want to ask him if he wouldn't mind throwing away all of his stuff because it does not fit in with my decor. Now before you criticize me, please understand that I've been in this apartment for 11 years and lived alone for another 5 years before that so I've grown quite fond of my stuff.
I've already shared my issues with Preston and he totally understands because his situation is similar to mine.
I'm looking forward to hearing how God works this one out. I'm confident He will !
Off to meet Pres. now, we're going shopping for wedding shoes...
Let me talk about the progress first. Hope ( one of my clients) continues to be a great idea generator. We came up with some great ideas today. We're going to do cupcakes instead of a traditional cake. I'm going to stay at Singing Waters the night before the wedding and we've organized what the cocktail hour will look like. I feel like I should be paying her for our training session!
1 major S.N.A.F.U-- still can't find my divorce certificate. I've actually hired an on-line search firm to find it. If anyone has any ideas, I would much appreciate it.
Now, on to the reason for my anxiety today ( because there had to be more to it that my missing divorce certificate. Jojo and I currently live in a 2 bedroom apartment. Preston lives in a 1 bedroom. We've applied to move to a 3-bedroom apartment for the next year but there are currently none available. We don't want to move immediately because we think that Jojo ( all of us for that matter) will have enough adjustments to make without also having to adjust to a new area, new school, new friends. We don't want to overwhelm him with everything at once.
The problem is--I love my space. I've set my apartment up how I want it. I have a place for everything. I know exactly where everything is. The thought of more furniture in an already small space frightens me. The thought of mismatched furniture and mismatched dishes frightens me. The thought of sharing my clothes closet petrifies me- its already cramped!!! I want to ask him if he wouldn't mind throwing away all of his stuff because it does not fit in with my decor. Now before you criticize me, please understand that I've been in this apartment for 11 years and lived alone for another 5 years before that so I've grown quite fond of my stuff.
I've already shared my issues with Preston and he totally understands because his situation is similar to mine.
I'm looking forward to hearing how God works this one out. I'm confident He will !
Off to meet Pres. now, we're going shopping for wedding shoes...
Reposts of Wedding Blog - Preston's Nov 17th Post
Early on I (wisely) deferred to Cathy to handle the bulk of the planning of the wedding. Not to sound sexist, but men generally don't give a lot of thought to such things, although two years ago, I spent a few months doing exactly that. Planning for a wedding and honeymoon in faith that God (or moreover at that time the 'Law of Attraction') would deliver just that.
In the midsts of my planning I met Cathy, who, amazingly, was doing exactly the same thing. Even going so far as to set another place at the table each night for her (future) husband. I'm sure her son thought she was nuts, but I thought it was delightful.
So now as I handle the honeymoon planning, I find myself looking at some of the same guides and websites I was two years ago and having the strangest sense of dejavu except now, it's for real! At those times I'm filled with such a gratitude to God.
The thought that, if we'd only known (or just trusted) back then, we could have been married for two years already. We discussed that but we both agree; two years ago we were very different people and it wouldn't have worked. But it amazes me still, that when we planning our weddings we were meeting our future spouse.
Now I'd love to share with all of you the exciting honeymoon plans I'm developing but since I want to surprise Cathy with them, you all are just going to have to wait until our return to find out what I have in store.
Tomorrow I'm off to another all weekend retreat (at Singing Waters in fact). I'm feeling like a bit of a bum skipping out on Cathy two weekend in a row while our wedding fast approaches but I know there's no place she'd rather have me be.
This weekend is another blessing from God, as I ended up taking the time off work, prior to even knowing what God had in store for me. (Singing Waters is a Christian retreat) I'm not sure what to expect this weekend but I am remaining open for anything God wants to send my way.
I'd also like to take a second and thank the dozens and dozens of people who have congratulated us and say we have been quite surprised, and delighted, by the number of people who have stated that they find our story inspiring.
Cathy and I are both bloggers (activeimage.ca / thecuphalffull.com) so telling it like it is, is second nature to us. And as long as people continue to find value in hearing our stories, we'll continue to be happy to share. God Bless. P
In the midsts of my planning I met Cathy, who, amazingly, was doing exactly the same thing. Even going so far as to set another place at the table each night for her (future) husband. I'm sure her son thought she was nuts, but I thought it was delightful.
So now as I handle the honeymoon planning, I find myself looking at some of the same guides and websites I was two years ago and having the strangest sense of dejavu except now, it's for real! At those times I'm filled with such a gratitude to God.
The thought that, if we'd only known (or just trusted) back then, we could have been married for two years already. We discussed that but we both agree; two years ago we were very different people and it wouldn't have worked. But it amazes me still, that when we planning our weddings we were meeting our future spouse.
Now I'd love to share with all of you the exciting honeymoon plans I'm developing but since I want to surprise Cathy with them, you all are just going to have to wait until our return to find out what I have in store.
Tomorrow I'm off to another all weekend retreat (at Singing Waters in fact). I'm feeling like a bit of a bum skipping out on Cathy two weekend in a row while our wedding fast approaches but I know there's no place she'd rather have me be.
This weekend is another blessing from God, as I ended up taking the time off work, prior to even knowing what God had in store for me. (Singing Waters is a Christian retreat) I'm not sure what to expect this weekend but I am remaining open for anything God wants to send my way.
I'd also like to take a second and thank the dozens and dozens of people who have congratulated us and say we have been quite surprised, and delighted, by the number of people who have stated that they find our story inspiring.
Cathy and I are both bloggers (activeimage.ca / thecuphalffull.com) so telling it like it is, is second nature to us. And as long as people continue to find value in hearing our stories, we'll continue to be happy to share. God Bless. P
Reposts of Wedding Blog - Preston's Nov 16th Post
Wednesday Nov 16, 2011 - Preston
I was going to go to the gym this morning, but I decided to start this blog, as it seemed the heavier lifting.
For the last few days I've just been in awe of how fully Cathy has just thrown herself into this marriage planning. Meanwhile, I was off to the cottage with the guys (our yearly men's retreat) over the weekend. They were all elated to hear I was (finally!) engaged and congratulated me and then they all started on their marriage woes.
It was a great opportunity to minister to one another but I must admit, hearing married men pine for the simplicity of a single life was not encouraging. Please note: They are all very committed to their relationships and adore their wives, but their frustrations were felt.
Also after fifteen years of enjoying the single life (I was married the previous eight years - no I'm not that old, I married very young) suddenly getting married again is a huge transistion. However, it's more than just suddenly sharing my life, my finances, my time, my decisions, etc., with another. It's a complete abandonment of my old way of life. A life I've known (and at times loathed) and been comfortable with for a long time.
You see, I would never have started going out with Cathy if it had not been for God. I never would have stayed if it had not been for God. I never would have proposed if it had not been for God. And she never would have agreed except by the word of God. God's hand has been all over this relationship since the get-go. He saw something we could not. He knew we were what each other needed, even when we disagreed with that accessment, even when our friends agreed with our God-desenting viewpoints (of course, it was the only viewpoint they were presented with). But we felt God's hand at work and we kept at it. So in essence, for me, this is as much a marriage to God as it is to Cathy.
As much as this upcoming marriage to Cathy alternatively thrills and scares me, giving my life over to the service of my Lord, trusting in Him to lead me, so I can lead my family, thrills and scares me even more.
For the last couple of days I've found myself retreating a bit into the old familiar ways. Seems harmless, but it's not. For my old ways are self-indulgent not God-indulgent. Old habits driven more by anxiety than faith. Too wrapped up in my own mind and not wrapped up enough in the world around me. It is a way of life I can no longer live. Not if I hope to enjoy the fruits of God's labour, or the love of an awesome woman.
It's a regression immediately felt by my beloved. Which led to a heart to heart talk yesterday. Her confidence is based on mine and I cannot be suddenly backtracking.
Ironically perhaps, my current situation was highlighted for me by finding a speaker system, asthetically designed to match my video game system and give it optimal sound quality, available online (it's not sold in NA and rarely available to import from the UK). Great! I could finally get it! But then the question 'Why?' Cathy is in the midst of wedding planning (me too) and I'm looking at this? Why? In the end, it's a toy. A distraction from life, rather than living life. It benefits no one, ultimately, not even me. So... Why?
In prayer this morning 1 Corinthians 13:11 came into my head. It was perfect, it was clear. Once again, God was leading me the right way. "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me." ~ 1Cor 13:11 Fifteen years of single life have allowed me to maintain some of my childish ways. It's time I put them behind me.
I was going to go to the gym this morning, but I decided to start this blog, as it seemed the heavier lifting.
For the last few days I've just been in awe of how fully Cathy has just thrown herself into this marriage planning. Meanwhile, I was off to the cottage with the guys (our yearly men's retreat) over the weekend. They were all elated to hear I was (finally!) engaged and congratulated me and then they all started on their marriage woes.
It was a great opportunity to minister to one another but I must admit, hearing married men pine for the simplicity of a single life was not encouraging. Please note: They are all very committed to their relationships and adore their wives, but their frustrations were felt.
Also after fifteen years of enjoying the single life (I was married the previous eight years - no I'm not that old, I married very young) suddenly getting married again is a huge transistion. However, it's more than just suddenly sharing my life, my finances, my time, my decisions, etc., with another. It's a complete abandonment of my old way of life. A life I've known (and at times loathed) and been comfortable with for a long time.
You see, I would never have started going out with Cathy if it had not been for God. I never would have stayed if it had not been for God. I never would have proposed if it had not been for God. And she never would have agreed except by the word of God. God's hand has been all over this relationship since the get-go. He saw something we could not. He knew we were what each other needed, even when we disagreed with that accessment, even when our friends agreed with our God-desenting viewpoints (of course, it was the only viewpoint they were presented with). But we felt God's hand at work and we kept at it. So in essence, for me, this is as much a marriage to God as it is to Cathy.
As much as this upcoming marriage to Cathy alternatively thrills and scares me, giving my life over to the service of my Lord, trusting in Him to lead me, so I can lead my family, thrills and scares me even more.
For the last couple of days I've found myself retreating a bit into the old familiar ways. Seems harmless, but it's not. For my old ways are self-indulgent not God-indulgent. Old habits driven more by anxiety than faith. Too wrapped up in my own mind and not wrapped up enough in the world around me. It is a way of life I can no longer live. Not if I hope to enjoy the fruits of God's labour, or the love of an awesome woman.
It's a regression immediately felt by my beloved. Which led to a heart to heart talk yesterday. Her confidence is based on mine and I cannot be suddenly backtracking.
Ironically perhaps, my current situation was highlighted for me by finding a speaker system, asthetically designed to match my video game system and give it optimal sound quality, available online (it's not sold in NA and rarely available to import from the UK). Great! I could finally get it! But then the question 'Why?' Cathy is in the midst of wedding planning (me too) and I'm looking at this? Why? In the end, it's a toy. A distraction from life, rather than living life. It benefits no one, ultimately, not even me. So... Why?
In prayer this morning 1 Corinthians 13:11 came into my head. It was perfect, it was clear. Once again, God was leading me the right way. "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me." ~ 1Cor 13:11 Fifteen years of single life have allowed me to maintain some of my childish ways. It's time I put them behind me.
Reposts of Wedding Blog - Cathy's Nov 15th Post
Wow, my computer has been blowing up since we posted our engagement on face-book. Its so great to receive all the love from family and friends.
Preston was so excited to share the news that he posted it before I was ready so I had to do a little but of damage control but no real harm done.
My friends have been amazing. We're so blessed . ( did I say that already?) I have more offers for help than I have tasks to be completed. Now that's a nice problem to have.
Yesterday I completed most of the tasks on my list:
1. Called my church to book an officiant—turns out that must complete pre-marital counselling. Talk about putting the cart before the horse. Well, not really though. When we first started dating, we signed up for marriage counselling but it was painfully obvious to us ( at least to me) that we ( I ) was no where ready for marriage—using the word ‘baggage’ would be an understatement. So for over the last year we both got to work on ourselves ( with support from our churches) to prepare ourselves for our ‘perfect partner’.
2. Did not find my divorce certificate- gotta keep looking
3. Told my ex-boyfriend that I was getting married—that was easier than I thought-
4. Completed the guest list
5. Worked on the invitations with the designer
6. Shopped for envelopes for the invitations ( the ones that were supposed to be emailed)
7. And made our big face-book announcement
My clients have been so amazing Barb and Hope give me all these great ideas for my dress ( soon to be revealed) and how to decorate ceremony hall and the reception hall.
I had lunch with my Maid of Honour even though I did not ask her yet ( hehehe). She was kinda hinting but I played along. I will tell/ask her tonight.
Our goal for this evening is to send out a 'save the date' email. Oh, and look for my divorce papers.......
Preston was so excited to share the news that he posted it before I was ready so I had to do a little but of damage control but no real harm done.
My friends have been amazing. We're so blessed . ( did I say that already?) I have more offers for help than I have tasks to be completed. Now that's a nice problem to have.
Yesterday I completed most of the tasks on my list:
1. Called my church to book an officiant—turns out that must complete pre-marital counselling. Talk about putting the cart before the horse. Well, not really though. When we first started dating, we signed up for marriage counselling but it was painfully obvious to us ( at least to me) that we ( I ) was no where ready for marriage—using the word ‘baggage’ would be an understatement. So for over the last year we both got to work on ourselves ( with support from our churches) to prepare ourselves for our ‘perfect partner’.
2. Did not find my divorce certificate- gotta keep looking
3. Told my ex-boyfriend that I was getting married—that was easier than I thought-
4. Completed the guest list
5. Worked on the invitations with the designer
6. Shopped for envelopes for the invitations ( the ones that were supposed to be emailed)
7. And made our big face-book announcement
My clients have been so amazing Barb and Hope give me all these great ideas for my dress ( soon to be revealed) and how to decorate ceremony hall and the reception hall.
I had lunch with my Maid of Honour even though I did not ask her yet ( hehehe). She was kinda hinting but I played along. I will tell/ask her tonight.
Our goal for this evening is to send out a 'save the date' email. Oh, and look for my divorce papers.......
Reposts of Wedding Blog - Cathy's Nov 14th Post
Monday November 14th- Day 3 of Planning- Cathy
Have not been able to sleep much with so much running through my mind. I woke up at 4:00 am. Texted with a client who was also awake.
Yesterday was somewhat productive. Did not finalize the guest list until we finalize the budget and can't finalize the budget until we get a few more quotes on vendors. Between Christmas, wedding and setting up house after the wedding we're trying to keep expenses in check. This area will take some work for the both of us :).
Hopefully we will send out an official wedding announcement today. I've told most of the key people with only a few more to tell in person. It's been amazing hearing all the different reactions. I love the energy I get from people who have been praying for our relationship for over a year! Thanks guys-- you're the best! Also very aware of the skeptics but thats cool too.
The plan for today is to work on the invitations with one of my dear friends. If I'm really efficient then maybe we can have something ready to be mailed tonight-- providing of course that we work on our guest list, which will depend on our budget, which will depend on our.... you get the point.
Also plan to call my church to see if we can get an officiant. Since the wedding is so soon, we have to by-pass the official marriage counseling classes and sign up for some independent counseling classes. Hopefully, we can have one of my pastors officiate our ceremony.
Lastly, I have to sort out the catering. We were going to bring in our own food but now we're reconsidering given the time constraints so today I will inquire about the catering services from Singing Waters ( where our wedding will be held)
Oh, almost forgot-- also have to book a time for the pastors at my church to meet Preston. My pastor is my spiritual father so I'm kinda nervous about that. Will try to book that for Friday before we head down to Singing Waters to confirm the plans for the wedding site.
Have not been able to sleep much with so much running through my mind. I woke up at 4:00 am. Texted with a client who was also awake.
Yesterday was somewhat productive. Did not finalize the guest list until we finalize the budget and can't finalize the budget until we get a few more quotes on vendors. Between Christmas, wedding and setting up house after the wedding we're trying to keep expenses in check. This area will take some work for the both of us :).
Hopefully we will send out an official wedding announcement today. I've told most of the key people with only a few more to tell in person. It's been amazing hearing all the different reactions. I love the energy I get from people who have been praying for our relationship for over a year! Thanks guys-- you're the best! Also very aware of the skeptics but thats cool too.
The plan for today is to work on the invitations with one of my dear friends. If I'm really efficient then maybe we can have something ready to be mailed tonight-- providing of course that we work on our guest list, which will depend on our budget, which will depend on our.... you get the point.
Also plan to call my church to see if we can get an officiant. Since the wedding is so soon, we have to by-pass the official marriage counseling classes and sign up for some independent counseling classes. Hopefully, we can have one of my pastors officiate our ceremony.
Lastly, I have to sort out the catering. We were going to bring in our own food but now we're reconsidering given the time constraints so today I will inquire about the catering services from Singing Waters ( where our wedding will be held)
Oh, almost forgot-- also have to book a time for the pastors at my church to meet Preston. My pastor is my spiritual father so I'm kinda nervous about that. Will try to book that for Friday before we head down to Singing Waters to confirm the plans for the wedding site.
Reposts of Wedding Blog - Cathy's Nov 13th Post
Not a ton of stuff on my planning list today-- finalize the budget, finalize the guest list, share the news with my pastor and church family, shop for wedding bands and tell one of my ex-boyfriends that I'm getting married. ( which will be awkward because during our last conversation I told him I was single)
I'm getting a ton of planning advice both solicited and unsolicited so I'm weeding through all the the ideas so arrive at a wedding that will best capture the essence of our relationship-- something intimate, festive and God-honouring. I sure hope we're able to convey that...
I'm also getting a lot of marriage advice from many sources which is much appreciated. I'm grateful for the wise words from people who are in marriages with blended families ( we both have children from previous relationships), bi-racial families ( which is totally new for me but not for Preston) and from people who have been since for a long time ( combined, I think Preston and I have been somewhat single for over 30 years !)
There have been so many stops and starts in our relationship that I can't be surprised by people's reactions. Especially when I tell them that we're going to be married before Christmas. I usually have to qualify it by saying, 'No, I'm not pregnant!' I'm just so clear on who I want to be with and it's him.
Looking forward to seeing Preston after his weekend away. Absence sure does make the heart grow fonder.
I'm getting a ton of planning advice both solicited and unsolicited so I'm weeding through all the the ideas so arrive at a wedding that will best capture the essence of our relationship-- something intimate, festive and God-honouring. I sure hope we're able to convey that...
I'm also getting a lot of marriage advice from many sources which is much appreciated. I'm grateful for the wise words from people who are in marriages with blended families ( we both have children from previous relationships), bi-racial families ( which is totally new for me but not for Preston) and from people who have been since for a long time ( combined, I think Preston and I have been somewhat single for over 30 years !)
There have been so many stops and starts in our relationship that I can't be surprised by people's reactions. Especially when I tell them that we're going to be married before Christmas. I usually have to qualify it by saying, 'No, I'm not pregnant!' I'm just so clear on who I want to be with and it's him.
Looking forward to seeing Preston after his weekend away. Absence sure does make the heart grow fonder.
Reposts of Wedding Blog - Cathy's Nov 12th post
November 12, 2011-Day 1 of Cathy's Wedding Planning
Well, the race is on to plan a wedding in 5 weeks. surprisingly, I've feeling very peaceful-- beyond excited, but peaceful. Our plan was to keep it very small but we both so similar in that we don't want to leave anyone out so the list is growing.
No wedding party--changed to a wedding party
Small intimate wedding- changed to a full blown sit down dinner
E-mailed invitations--changed to printed ones
Oh well. So it goes....
My first day of wedding planning today involved shopping for a belt for my dress and some shoes to go with the dress.Went to Beckers the cheapest belt was $350-- 'you gotta be kidding' I might rock a belt from Le Chateau-- at least this way I can wear it again.
Found some shoes that go with the dress. Can I wear open toe'd shoes in December? Its my wedding so I can do whatever I want-- right? Not sure if I'll get them but I know where to find them if I can't find anything else.
Looked for wedding bands for us since there were some stores close to where I was. Saw one I loves but it was about 5x more than my budget allowed. Will keep looking...
Looked for a Fascinator for my hair. I don't have a lot of options with my hair so short so that seems like a viable option-- nothing
Worked on the wording for the invitations- we're happy with it so it will go to the designer on Monday.
Worked on the guest list-- both my list A and list B. Still praying about which one we should go with. I know it will all come together...
My family and friends are amazing though. After getting over the initial shock that I'm getting married, the next question has been,' What can I do to help?'
So I've got Sheila and Heidy as my floral consutants; One of my clients, Hope as my facilities planner and decorator; my niece Monise as my guest planner and sorter; my brother will be the D.J. and his wife, Rene will sing ( but they don't know it yet- I'll ask them tomorrow),;My nephew -in-law, Dwayne will be our photographer. So all we have to figure out is the food and drinks and cake ( still looking for co-ordinators for those items-- hint, hint)
We're both so cautious of not adding any more stress to people;'s lives as its the Christmas season and we're springing this on everyone last minute.
Preston is away for the weekend on his annual 'boys get-away-weekend'. I really miss him. I think we've sent about 50 texts to each other today.
Well, the race is on to plan a wedding in 5 weeks. surprisingly, I've feeling very peaceful-- beyond excited, but peaceful. Our plan was to keep it very small but we both so similar in that we don't want to leave anyone out so the list is growing.
No wedding party--changed to a wedding party
Small intimate wedding- changed to a full blown sit down dinner
E-mailed invitations--changed to printed ones
Oh well. So it goes....
My first day of wedding planning today involved shopping for a belt for my dress and some shoes to go with the dress.Went to Beckers the cheapest belt was $350-- 'you gotta be kidding' I might rock a belt from Le Chateau-- at least this way I can wear it again.
Found some shoes that go with the dress. Can I wear open toe'd shoes in December? Its my wedding so I can do whatever I want-- right? Not sure if I'll get them but I know where to find them if I can't find anything else.
Looked for wedding bands for us since there were some stores close to where I was. Saw one I loves but it was about 5x more than my budget allowed. Will keep looking...
Looked for a Fascinator for my hair. I don't have a lot of options with my hair so short so that seems like a viable option-- nothing
Worked on the wording for the invitations- we're happy with it so it will go to the designer on Monday.
Worked on the guest list-- both my list A and list B. Still praying about which one we should go with. I know it will all come together...
My family and friends are amazing though. After getting over the initial shock that I'm getting married, the next question has been,' What can I do to help?'
So I've got Sheila and Heidy as my floral consutants; One of my clients, Hope as my facilities planner and decorator; my niece Monise as my guest planner and sorter; my brother will be the D.J. and his wife, Rene will sing ( but they don't know it yet- I'll ask them tomorrow),;My nephew -in-law, Dwayne will be our photographer. So all we have to figure out is the food and drinks and cake ( still looking for co-ordinators for those items-- hint, hint)
We're both so cautious of not adding any more stress to people;'s lives as its the Christmas season and we're springing this on everyone last minute.
Preston is away for the weekend on his annual 'boys get-away-weekend'. I really miss him. I think we've sent about 50 texts to each other today.
Reposts of Wedding Blog: OUR STORY
Cathy's Version
I'm sure Preston will have a very different version of our story so I will share mine ( first- LOL)
The word 'turbulent', would be an understatement to describe our relationship. Yet from day one, we ( I) knew that there was something undenaible about our union despite all the ups and downs.
Our on-line communication was amazing. We both shared a passion for writing, for personal development, for family, God and simplicity. We both seemed to be on the same page and traveling on similar paths. We both shared our visions for the future which were right on point.
Unfortunatley, our first date was horrible. Pres. was so distracted and he did not ever make eye contact with me during our quick lunch in the Eaton Centre. Come to think about it I don't think he even paid for my meal. I remember walking away thinking that I would never see this guy again but as fate would have it, we ended up communicating despite that poor first impression.
Our love for self-development however kept our relationship going. We both signed up for a 100 day challenge in September of 2009 and became each other's accountability partner which meant that we had a front seat into what was happening in each other's lives. We shared our challenges, our goals, our dreams, our passions and our frustrations. We were in contact with each other almost every day for those 100 days.
Remembering back, I think it was our goals that kept us united. I could not deny that we both wanted the exact same things out of life: to be led by God in everything we did; to impact other people's lives; to love passionately and have great relationships with our family and friends and to be financially free.
As time progressed, our challenges developed mainly because Pres. just did not fit the 'picture' of what I thought my 'knight in shining armour' should look like. I thought I needed a strong dominant personality and Pres. was quietly confident and did not really assert himself (or so I thought) . As it turned out, God knew exactly what I needed and gradually changed my heart towards him. It was a long process frought with many break ups, counseling sessions, a weekend healing retreat and many, many sessions with my mentor. Truth is, I had to work on ME. And once I did that, the issues that I had with Pres. became non-issues. I realize that I'm still a work in progress but I can't image going through the journey with anyone else but him.
A few years ago, a pastor at my church said that 'God is looking for conduits to manifest His love in tangible ways' ( paraphrase). That's what I found in Preston, a tangible expression of God's love for me and for this I will be forever grateful!
To say that his proposal was a surprise would be an understatement. As Preston shared, we were both working out our own 'issues' when he proposed but he had started to win my heart long before the proposal. For almost 30 days prior to his proposal, he sent me a detailed email everyday just sharing with me how God was working in his life and developing him. He never missed a day and I looked forward to reading about his transformation each day. He shared how God was giving him more boldness, more confidence and more favour. Doors ( and parking spots-lol) were beginning to open up for Him and he was so humbled by all the changes happening in his life.
Under the counsel of one of my mentors. I was also advised to tell him what Ihe needed to do to win my heart. I remember giving him a list ( that in my mind was impossible to fulfil) and telling him that if he completed the list by December 2011 then he would have my heart. In the past, I never believed that I even had a right to set high expectations for myself yet God was faithful. I don't want to share all of our business but one of the important things on the list was that he clear off his debt load. At this present moment, Preston is debt free with money in the bank to boot! He completed everything on the list and more !!!! My girlfriend shared with me that Preston has a "ministry of consistency." Amen to that !
Preston's Version (The real one)
From the initial contact there was something special about our connection. After chatting online we discovered we were so in-sync in so many areas of life that we both joined an online '100 Day Challenge' to better ourselves and became very excited to meet in person.
We arranged a mid-week, lunch time get-together, which meant we were both coming from work. That is to say, I arrived prim and proper from the office and she showed up in sweaty gym-wear with no make-up and having done nothing with her hair. She was taller than I expected (or perhaps I was shorter...) and at that time, more muscular than I was. I remember my first impression being a flat 'No.'
All that chemistry online and on the phone vanished and we went through the motions but for me, it was over before it began. For the record, I always bought lunch on such occasions - if this was an exception as asserted, I can neither confirm nor deny (it was two+ years ago).
However, doing the '100 Day Challenge' together kept us intrigued by each other as we continued to share so many goals and passions in our lives. So, we ended up on a second date - at the gym. My impression of her, (and presumably vice-versa) greatly improved and we continued to hang out (and I joined a gym) but we never got serious.
It was an odd relationship to be sure. We both saw the potential. Both felt deprived of what we thought we wanted out of a partner. Both kept hoping it would blossom into something more but neither was really willing to jump in with both feet.
Despite having an uncanny sense of certainty that Cathy was 'the one' I just couldn't see it and we parted for a while, only to end up working together on a joint project which led us back together. Now things were getting serious but still, while we each felt a mutual attraction to the other, we also continued to feel the other lacked those qualities we were looking for. I wasn't the dominate male nor was she the attentive, affectionate female.
What became clear to me, is in having had attentive, affectionate women before, was that was what made me comfortable, but it didn't make me grow. One of the core values Cathy and I share, is a strong desire for personal growth and in Cathy I had someone who not only made me want to be a better person but also someone who would grow right alongside of me. However, Cathy didn't see it that way.
There were many times when one or the other (usually her) would call it quits, not seeing what we were looking for. Each time I'd go to God and every single time, He directed me right back. Nevermind if she wasn't giving me all the attention and affection I craved, nevermind she didn't think I was right, 'Just love her' God said. So I did. "Your like a cockroach," she once observed, "No matter how many times I try to get rid of you, you keep coming back." But it was said with a smile, as it was a steadfast love she'd never known before.
I long knew I'd marry her (told her so many times - but she never believed me) but I never acted on it because I never felt that sense of 'I couldn't live without' passion. At this point my life was stagnant, and had been for years despite spending thousands on self-development. Fed up with the status quo, and of trying to fix myself, I turned to God to do for me what I could not do for myself.
It was as if God just threw up his hands and said 'About time!' and then got to serious work. He seperated Cathy and I (she was all to glad to oblige), and I from all other 'distractions' (my blog, my writing, my side business, my coach, etc.) and got me to just focus on Him. In one month He transformed me more than my personal Life Coach did in a year (my Life Coach is still awesome, but can't compare to my Lord). It was amazing but there was a hitch. If I 'knew' Cathy was 'the one' and that 'I'd marry her' then He wanted me to honour her and Him. Did I trust Him or not? She wasn't even talking to me at the time, but I did trust God. So I arranged a meeting with Cathy.
Little did I know God had transformed her too. She came ready to start fresh, to begin anew, and to really accept and give love freely. She was ready to give up the comfortable discomfort of the dominate male, who had never honoured her, and embrace the steady love of someone who did. That was awesome. I trumped her with a ring.
I'm sure Preston will have a very different version of our story so I will share mine ( first- LOL)
The word 'turbulent', would be an understatement to describe our relationship. Yet from day one, we ( I) knew that there was something undenaible about our union despite all the ups and downs.
Our on-line communication was amazing. We both shared a passion for writing, for personal development, for family, God and simplicity. We both seemed to be on the same page and traveling on similar paths. We both shared our visions for the future which were right on point.
Unfortunatley, our first date was horrible. Pres. was so distracted and he did not ever make eye contact with me during our quick lunch in the Eaton Centre. Come to think about it I don't think he even paid for my meal. I remember walking away thinking that I would never see this guy again but as fate would have it, we ended up communicating despite that poor first impression.
Our love for self-development however kept our relationship going. We both signed up for a 100 day challenge in September of 2009 and became each other's accountability partner which meant that we had a front seat into what was happening in each other's lives. We shared our challenges, our goals, our dreams, our passions and our frustrations. We were in contact with each other almost every day for those 100 days.
Remembering back, I think it was our goals that kept us united. I could not deny that we both wanted the exact same things out of life: to be led by God in everything we did; to impact other people's lives; to love passionately and have great relationships with our family and friends and to be financially free.
As time progressed, our challenges developed mainly because Pres. just did not fit the 'picture' of what I thought my 'knight in shining armour' should look like. I thought I needed a strong dominant personality and Pres. was quietly confident and did not really assert himself (or so I thought) . As it turned out, God knew exactly what I needed and gradually changed my heart towards him. It was a long process frought with many break ups, counseling sessions, a weekend healing retreat and many, many sessions with my mentor. Truth is, I had to work on ME. And once I did that, the issues that I had with Pres. became non-issues. I realize that I'm still a work in progress but I can't image going through the journey with anyone else but him.
A few years ago, a pastor at my church said that 'God is looking for conduits to manifest His love in tangible ways' ( paraphrase). That's what I found in Preston, a tangible expression of God's love for me and for this I will be forever grateful!
To say that his proposal was a surprise would be an understatement. As Preston shared, we were both working out our own 'issues' when he proposed but he had started to win my heart long before the proposal. For almost 30 days prior to his proposal, he sent me a detailed email everyday just sharing with me how God was working in his life and developing him. He never missed a day and I looked forward to reading about his transformation each day. He shared how God was giving him more boldness, more confidence and more favour. Doors ( and parking spots-lol) were beginning to open up for Him and he was so humbled by all the changes happening in his life.
Under the counsel of one of my mentors. I was also advised to tell him what Ihe needed to do to win my heart. I remember giving him a list ( that in my mind was impossible to fulfil) and telling him that if he completed the list by December 2011 then he would have my heart. In the past, I never believed that I even had a right to set high expectations for myself yet God was faithful. I don't want to share all of our business but one of the important things on the list was that he clear off his debt load. At this present moment, Preston is debt free with money in the bank to boot! He completed everything on the list and more !!!! My girlfriend shared with me that Preston has a "ministry of consistency." Amen to that !
Preston's Version (The real one)
From the initial contact there was something special about our connection. After chatting online we discovered we were so in-sync in so many areas of life that we both joined an online '100 Day Challenge' to better ourselves and became very excited to meet in person.
We arranged a mid-week, lunch time get-together, which meant we were both coming from work. That is to say, I arrived prim and proper from the office and she showed up in sweaty gym-wear with no make-up and having done nothing with her hair. She was taller than I expected (or perhaps I was shorter...) and at that time, more muscular than I was. I remember my first impression being a flat 'No.'
All that chemistry online and on the phone vanished and we went through the motions but for me, it was over before it began. For the record, I always bought lunch on such occasions - if this was an exception as asserted, I can neither confirm nor deny (it was two+ years ago).
However, doing the '100 Day Challenge' together kept us intrigued by each other as we continued to share so many goals and passions in our lives. So, we ended up on a second date - at the gym. My impression of her, (and presumably vice-versa) greatly improved and we continued to hang out (and I joined a gym) but we never got serious.
It was an odd relationship to be sure. We both saw the potential. Both felt deprived of what we thought we wanted out of a partner. Both kept hoping it would blossom into something more but neither was really willing to jump in with both feet.
Despite having an uncanny sense of certainty that Cathy was 'the one' I just couldn't see it and we parted for a while, only to end up working together on a joint project which led us back together. Now things were getting serious but still, while we each felt a mutual attraction to the other, we also continued to feel the other lacked those qualities we were looking for. I wasn't the dominate male nor was she the attentive, affectionate female.
What became clear to me, is in having had attentive, affectionate women before, was that was what made me comfortable, but it didn't make me grow. One of the core values Cathy and I share, is a strong desire for personal growth and in Cathy I had someone who not only made me want to be a better person but also someone who would grow right alongside of me. However, Cathy didn't see it that way.
There were many times when one or the other (usually her) would call it quits, not seeing what we were looking for. Each time I'd go to God and every single time, He directed me right back. Nevermind if she wasn't giving me all the attention and affection I craved, nevermind she didn't think I was right, 'Just love her' God said. So I did. "Your like a cockroach," she once observed, "No matter how many times I try to get rid of you, you keep coming back." But it was said with a smile, as it was a steadfast love she'd never known before.
I long knew I'd marry her (told her so many times - but she never believed me) but I never acted on it because I never felt that sense of 'I couldn't live without' passion. At this point my life was stagnant, and had been for years despite spending thousands on self-development. Fed up with the status quo, and of trying to fix myself, I turned to God to do for me what I could not do for myself.
It was as if God just threw up his hands and said 'About time!' and then got to serious work. He seperated Cathy and I (she was all to glad to oblige), and I from all other 'distractions' (my blog, my writing, my side business, my coach, etc.) and got me to just focus on Him. In one month He transformed me more than my personal Life Coach did in a year (my Life Coach is still awesome, but can't compare to my Lord). It was amazing but there was a hitch. If I 'knew' Cathy was 'the one' and that 'I'd marry her' then He wanted me to honour her and Him. Did I trust Him or not? She wasn't even talking to me at the time, but I did trust God. So I arranged a meeting with Cathy.
Little did I know God had transformed her too. She came ready to start fresh, to begin anew, and to really accept and give love freely. She was ready to give up the comfortable discomfort of the dominate male, who had never honoured her, and embrace the steady love of someone who did. That was awesome. I trumped her with a ring.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Quiet Time
It's midnight. I went to bed a couple hours ago with my wife, who has early morning clients, but I've never been one to sleep so early. Sure enough, an hour and a half later I was still up, so after wasted some time on my Wii (or my step-son's Wii to be specific) I decided to do something a little more meaningful and blog.
As I worked on our budget and she packed my lunch for tomorrow (something I always intent to do but rarely seem to get around to) we marveled at how divinely we were fitting into each other's life. For as I would rarely take the time to pack a lunch, she would rarely take the time to properly budget her money but also always mean to. We were filling a need in each other's life, almost without even trying, just by being ourselves.
If you have been following this blog, then you know I married my wife out of faith more than any common sense. Heck, common sense would have railed against it. Nor was it faith in our ability to make it work, but faith that that is where God was leading us, despite ourselves. So we both got ourselves out of God's way and followed His plan, not ours.
While it hasn't been without issue, the merger of our lives, that is, two very independent people who have been single and single parents for fifteen years each, has been remarkably wonderful. It's just been a joy to slip into his married life. It's almost like we're living a dream. It's practically too easy at times. I never expected that. I trusted God we'd make it work with His help, and we are, but I didn't expect it to go as smoothly as it has.
Now there was a point were we both started slipping into our old patterns but once we reached out for God, we popped back out of those and life has been ... lovely.
Having walked off this proverbial cliff and ended up with such a wonderful result, I can hardly wait to do so in other areas of my life! Especially in my employment. However, while I'm fully confident I am not where God wants me to be, I do not yet have a clear indication of where exactly God wants me to be. So I'm committing that to prayer along with a list of other things.
As mentioned in an earlier post, the one thing God has prompted me to do is to resume blogging. Although I was a little reluctant at first I am very grateful I obeyed. I have always found it a useful exercise and I hope it is a blessing for you, the eventual reader, as well.
Now, I'm going to do at least a little post in my sister-blog thecuphalffull.com as well - which I have been so far ignoring. I don't know what I want to do with it but I'll just write whatever God brings into my head and we'll see.
God Bless,
PS
As I worked on our budget and she packed my lunch for tomorrow (something I always intent to do but rarely seem to get around to) we marveled at how divinely we were fitting into each other's life. For as I would rarely take the time to pack a lunch, she would rarely take the time to properly budget her money but also always mean to. We were filling a need in each other's life, almost without even trying, just by being ourselves.
If you have been following this blog, then you know I married my wife out of faith more than any common sense. Heck, common sense would have railed against it. Nor was it faith in our ability to make it work, but faith that that is where God was leading us, despite ourselves. So we both got ourselves out of God's way and followed His plan, not ours.
While it hasn't been without issue, the merger of our lives, that is, two very independent people who have been single and single parents for fifteen years each, has been remarkably wonderful. It's just been a joy to slip into his married life. It's almost like we're living a dream. It's practically too easy at times. I never expected that. I trusted God we'd make it work with His help, and we are, but I didn't expect it to go as smoothly as it has.
Now there was a point were we both started slipping into our old patterns but once we reached out for God, we popped back out of those and life has been ... lovely.
Having walked off this proverbial cliff and ended up with such a wonderful result, I can hardly wait to do so in other areas of my life! Especially in my employment. However, while I'm fully confident I am not where God wants me to be, I do not yet have a clear indication of where exactly God wants me to be. So I'm committing that to prayer along with a list of other things.
As mentioned in an earlier post, the one thing God has prompted me to do is to resume blogging. Although I was a little reluctant at first I am very grateful I obeyed. I have always found it a useful exercise and I hope it is a blessing for you, the eventual reader, as well.
Now, I'm going to do at least a little post in my sister-blog thecuphalffull.com as well - which I have been so far ignoring. I don't know what I want to do with it but I'll just write whatever God brings into my head and we'll see.
God Bless,
PS
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Centennial Post
At the titles suggests, this is indeed my 100th post on this blog.
It seems as good as time as any to reflect back over the length of this blog journey and draw some conclusions as to what has happened over the last 3 and a quarter years since I started this blog, where I'm going and what it all means.
I goes without saying, that this journey, like anyone's, has had it's ups and downs and has been a struggle at times. There is nothing unique about that, and really, in the end, that is exactly what this autobiographical blog is really about. It is meant to show that people, no matter who they are, and what life they lead, are not so different that you. The circumstances way differ wildly but in the end, we are all human, we all struggle to find some reason for our own existence and to find joy in our lives.
What is different, is how we go about it. I've learned enough to know that true success is living a life that brings joy to you and others. Having a lot of money, or fame, or power, doesn't make you successful. Rich and powerful people struggle with having a joy filled life just the same as someone who's waiting tables. Rich people can just buy more and better distractions from their areas of lack and discontent.
So if money, power and fame are not indicators of success, then what is?
Purpose, compassion and love.
If you have a driving purpose in your life, something you truly believe in and are absolutely committed to achieving; if you have a compassion for others and are committed to helping others - in deed not just thought; and if you give and receive love freely, then you can consider yourself successful. These are the building blocks that inevitably bring a sense of joy and a reason for being.
That may sound like a lot of liberal crap but I also find those people who are truly living 'on target', often find those worldly things, such as money, comes easy. But for them money, fame and power are mere tools. Not things to be sought in and of themselves, but simply a means to an end.
To simplify, instead of becoming a leader to become rich, famous and powerful, one becomes a leader, accepting the pay, power and prestige as necessary, in order to make the world a better place.
The other great truth I've found is that it's not about me. It's not about fixing myself so I can be some kind of 'super' person and achieve huge success. It's about finding your God given purpose and then simply (which is easy said than done) getting out of God's way and allow Him to fulfill that purpose through you.
As I reflect back on my life, pretty much every great break-through, if not all of them, were God's doing, not mine. Looking back on it now it's a wonder I ever had this notion that I'm suppose to be some kind of uber-human success machine. When every time I'm in trouble and I reach out to God, and He answers, when He comes powerfully into my life to push it forward, time and again, why would I still think it's about me and what I can do?
Probably because I live in a society where belief in God is no longer trendy, where we are constantly bombarded with the idea of individual success, and where success 'gurus' replace 'God' with 'The Secret' because let's face it, 'God' doesn't sell in the 21st century North America.
The movie, 'The Secret' purposefully skipped a crucial step of the process even though many of the 'guru's in it know it and promote it (although most, like myself until recently, avoid using the term 'God' or water it down greatly to reach more people). That step is this: It's not about the 'universe', IE: God, coming into alignment with you and all your (petty) desires. It's about you coming into alignment with the 'universe', IE: God, and His plan for your life. Once you are in alignment with God and His plan, then, yes, absolutely, He's going to start to make things happen in your life - as long as you remain in action and have faith. If you need more money, more will be on it's way, if you need fame, you won't be able to help but obtain it, that is as long as you remain in alignment and agreement. However, God is going to constantly push you out of your comfort zones and that's where we struggle to remain in agreement with His plan and able to 'receive' as 'The Secret' puts it. 'The Secret' makes it seem as if we can have whatever we want the way we want it. No, not at all. However, if you come into (and stay in) agreement and alignment with God's plan, what you ultimately receive will be greater than whatever you thought you wanted in the first dang place.
So, in conclusion, where I am after over twenty-five years of self-improvement books, tapes, seminars, courses and coaching, three plus years of success blogging and 100 posts in this autobiographical blog? I'm coming into alignment with God's plans for my life and starting to reap the rewards that brings. I have a lot of work to do. Of course I do. I'm still here writing this. The instant my work is done, my lessons learns, then my heavenly Father will call me back. And that's okay, because if I'm called back early because I was an able student, then that, my dear, dear friends, is success. Living until 125 and then running out of gas without ever having understood where I was going, would not be a worthwhile life to live.
Fortunately, since I have not intention of dying soon, I still have a lot of work to do. And as always, this blog, and others, are a part of that work. A look forward to writing another 100 posts.
Preston Squire
Saturday, January 7, 2012
A New Life - ?
A year ago, on New Year's Day, I woke up, deliriously from a high fever, alone on the kitchen floor, in a tiny, crappy apartment in the poor part of town, my girlfriend having dumped me hours before, deep in debt and utterly frustrated with my life. However, I was blogging because I had committed to changing the quality of my life.
As I write this first blog posting of 2012, and look back at some of my 2011 posts (unfortunately I don't have time at this moment to review them all) I see that in many profound ways my life is different but in others life is repeating itself.
First off, and perhaps most significantly, I have gone from a believer in 'The Secret' and my own ability to succeed to a believer in Jesus Christ and His ability to succeed through me, despite myself.
Secondly, I am now three weeks married to the very woman who had dumped my sorry ass last year at this time. I have moved out of my crappy apartment, and am currently residing in her all around nicer apartment as we strive for a larger place for our now larger family. I now have a step-son, whom I love, in my life, and I really enjoy having a child in the house again. I didn't realize how much I missed that.
Thirdly, I realize the importance of commiting oneself absolutely to an ideal, path or purpose. There can be absolutely no half-measures. There can be no fall-back; it is success or nothing. That is to say, your mindset must be success is the only acceptable option. Failure to achieve 100% is simply not an option.
The instant it becomes an option, it becomes your destiny, because, in the end, we're all prone to go with the easiest 'win'. The first point ties into this as well. Faith, that when your best isn't good enough, God will take you the rest of the way is paramount. So far, that is one 'truth' that I have found to work. But only when this concept of complete conviction to achieving is applied.
So those are the areas where my life is different, but in some areas it's remained, at the moment at least, the same:
1) I'm still in the same go-nowhere job which, while I don't loathe it, I have long sought to leave. I did, in fact, change positions for three months in the summer but then had to return and after a week of total revulsion have again gotten comfortable in this career rut.
2) I'm still writing but have not yet gotten a book published. Actually, truth be told I haven't written anything in a couple months - mainly because I was totally pre-occupied with God moving in my life and getting married after a brief engagement period and then taking Christmas break. Life has gone back to normal- or a 'new normal' as my wife and I have begun calling it and it's time for this to simple be done. That is to say, if I'm going to write, I have to finally commit absolutely to making that happen or pass this cup.
3) After a couple months of tremendous movement in my life, I have slowly fallen back into old comfort zone patterns and they are not serving me, at all.
4) I'm in the process of defining how I want my life to look, although now jointly with my wife.
While I marvel at this wonder that God has created in my life very suddenly and quite unexpectedly, called marriage, I have prayed all along that while it is a tremendous blessing and puts me in more fertile soil, it itself is not, and cannot, be the only change in my life. I must change and through that change, everything around must change as well. That includes my relationships, my job, my lifestyle and especially, living outside of my comfort zone, at least, most of the time.
God has called me to Lead, to Love and to Literate (that is, to write). None of those come naturally to me, but that is irrelevant. They come naturally to my heavenly Father, all I have to do is allow Him to flow through me. It is the process of getting me out of His way that is the challenging part. Especially because God always takes me way out of my comfort zones. But I have to trust in Him and commit myself absolutely to those three pillars before I will become that person that I have been called to be. I managed to do it long enough to get married, despite myself (and trust me, it was through no genius of mine that it happened) now as I continue to do so, God will reshape other areas of my life as well.
I look forward to reviewing this a year from now and seeing how much more my life has grown. Join me why don't you?
As I write this first blog posting of 2012, and look back at some of my 2011 posts (unfortunately I don't have time at this moment to review them all) I see that in many profound ways my life is different but in others life is repeating itself.
First off, and perhaps most significantly, I have gone from a believer in 'The Secret' and my own ability to succeed to a believer in Jesus Christ and His ability to succeed through me, despite myself.
Secondly, I am now three weeks married to the very woman who had dumped my sorry ass last year at this time. I have moved out of my crappy apartment, and am currently residing in her all around nicer apartment as we strive for a larger place for our now larger family. I now have a step-son, whom I love, in my life, and I really enjoy having a child in the house again. I didn't realize how much I missed that.
Thirdly, I realize the importance of commiting oneself absolutely to an ideal, path or purpose. There can be absolutely no half-measures. There can be no fall-back; it is success or nothing. That is to say, your mindset must be success is the only acceptable option. Failure to achieve 100% is simply not an option.
The instant it becomes an option, it becomes your destiny, because, in the end, we're all prone to go with the easiest 'win'. The first point ties into this as well. Faith, that when your best isn't good enough, God will take you the rest of the way is paramount. So far, that is one 'truth' that I have found to work. But only when this concept of complete conviction to achieving is applied.
So those are the areas where my life is different, but in some areas it's remained, at the moment at least, the same:
1) I'm still in the same go-nowhere job which, while I don't loathe it, I have long sought to leave. I did, in fact, change positions for three months in the summer but then had to return and after a week of total revulsion have again gotten comfortable in this career rut.
2) I'm still writing but have not yet gotten a book published. Actually, truth be told I haven't written anything in a couple months - mainly because I was totally pre-occupied with God moving in my life and getting married after a brief engagement period and then taking Christmas break. Life has gone back to normal- or a 'new normal' as my wife and I have begun calling it and it's time for this to simple be done. That is to say, if I'm going to write, I have to finally commit absolutely to making that happen or pass this cup.
3) After a couple months of tremendous movement in my life, I have slowly fallen back into old comfort zone patterns and they are not serving me, at all.
4) I'm in the process of defining how I want my life to look, although now jointly with my wife.
While I marvel at this wonder that God has created in my life very suddenly and quite unexpectedly, called marriage, I have prayed all along that while it is a tremendous blessing and puts me in more fertile soil, it itself is not, and cannot, be the only change in my life. I must change and through that change, everything around must change as well. That includes my relationships, my job, my lifestyle and especially, living outside of my comfort zone, at least, most of the time.
God has called me to Lead, to Love and to Literate (that is, to write). None of those come naturally to me, but that is irrelevant. They come naturally to my heavenly Father, all I have to do is allow Him to flow through me. It is the process of getting me out of His way that is the challenging part. Especially because God always takes me way out of my comfort zones. But I have to trust in Him and commit myself absolutely to those three pillars before I will become that person that I have been called to be. I managed to do it long enough to get married, despite myself (and trust me, it was through no genius of mine that it happened) now as I continue to do so, God will reshape other areas of my life as well.
I look forward to reviewing this a year from now and seeing how much more my life has grown. Join me why don't you?
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