Wedding Planning

My fixation on finding someone continues unabated. Outside of work it seems all of my time has been taken up with this agenda. Meeting women, chatting with them, responding to messages, talking on the phone, trying to find the gems amongst the rumble which is no easy task.

The woman I spoke of last time is certainly a rare gem but that's no guarantee of success in and of itself. Still, it's always a pleasure to find one and I continue to explore that possibility.

I was meditating on finding that certain someone when it came to me to start planning the eventual wedding. I don't feel that thought was my own but one that was given to me and along with it the realization that by focusing on my wedding plans, it would keep me focused on the end result (and not the immediate results which are often disappointing), positive (because I'll have to force myself to think positively whenever I engage in wedding planning) and passionate since that's what I really want and it'll be fun to really make it come true even if just in the confines of my mind.

It also forces me to set a date which is always a must for any goal. If you have no date to aim for, then it can just drag on and on, inching forward and occasionally retreating and still be seen as progress. Having a set date forces you to do more, risk more, focus more in order to achieve the result in that time limit. It also states to the universe (God) when you want to see results. There's no guarantee you'll achieve your goal on that date, God's delays are not God's denials, but you'll be a whole lot closer than if you didn't. However you must treat them as immutable for them to have an effect.

The other great aspect about planning a wedding is that it forces me to visualize it in extreme detail. Right down to the flowers, decor, invitation cards, cuff links, etc. The more often, the more specific my visualizations, the more passion and excitement in visualizing the more rapidly the universe will respond.

The only real problem is I can't tell anyone. Well, I have told my good friend because she understands the Law of Attraction. In fact, she's a very powerful influencer with it. Many times now I have seen her use it to create results and more than once I have ended up somewhere, had the very distinct feeling she was somehow responsible for my being there and upon investigation found it was something she had been visualizing on my/our behalf. So I put her to immediate work visualizing my wedding too.

Now I expect to many of you, and to most anyone else I know the very idea of planning a wedding when I don't even have a girlfriend sounds inane and insane. Which is why I'm not actively advertising the fact. Except, of course, here on my blog. Lol. However, none of my friends are currently reading this - I think - and if they do, it probably wouldn't surprise them.

What will and does surprise them is how I continually manage to attract high quality beautiful women into my life. And when I say I knew all along I was getting married a year from now, and they don't believe me, they will soon find themselves reading this post too and being amazed.

Dream girl?

It's been a few days since I've posted and while there hasn't been anything to really blog about I was feeling like I'm neglecting my duties here.

Currently my focus has been fixated on finding a new woman in my life. Everything else has been put on the backburners and I devote a lot of time and energy to this task.

I've reached a point in my life where I would really like to find someone to settle down with. Really I've always been hoping for that but I'm really very tired of dating. So I'm being very specific in what it is I'm looking for and trying to attract.

While I have no interest in getting into the details of my love life on this blog (sorry ladies), I do appear to be making progress. I've been chatting with someone who really seems quite special for the past week and I'm looking to get together with her soon. It's really too early to say anything but this woman does remarkably, startlingly almost, resemble the image I've always carried of what my wife/soulmate would look/be like. An image I've had since even prior to my first marriage.

Hispanic
Long black hair
Lovely facial features (looks very much like I've always envisioned)
Slender/sexy
Not a big talker but what she says is open, honest and deep
A good motivator for me, driven
Passionate
Loyal
Gives 100% of herself
Etc.

Now I'm just starting to get to really know this woman but it's just errie that now, at this point in my life where I'm really wanting and feeling a need to settle my love life that such a person comes around, someone so close to my mental image of what my soulmate would look like.

Be Still

Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God"

http://zenhabits.net/2009/07/be-still/

I think in my own personal walk in life, this is the area I struggle most in. Ironic isn't in. That doing nothing is the most difficult thing to do?

But being still isn't really about 'doing nothing'. You are still doing something. You are connecting with Source/God. However to us physical beings, that non-tangible essence doesn't seem like it would or could fulfill as well as tangibly doing something, or having something or thinking something 'productive' or talking to someone, etc., etc..

I am particularly bad at being still. Even when I'm not doing anything at all I have to fidget, play a video game or my mind will be going full bore and while I may not be physically moving much, I am hardly at rest. Even simply watching tv (which is also not being still) can be a struggle for me, as I hate the feeling that I'm idle.

Moreover, I lack patience. It pains me to have to wait for something, especially if I cannot see the progress being made. This is self defeating. Law of Gender and Law of Attraction here are butting heads.

Accordingly to the Law of Gender - once the conscious mind has placed a seed in the subconscious mind, that seed begins to grow. As it grows the subconscious is naturally using the Law of Attraction to bring that into reality. However, like any seed, it takes time to germinate, grow roots and then then finally come to the surface where you can begin to see it's progress.

However, when I am impatient am I thinking about how this seed will grow into a beautiful flower and how beautiful it will look? How nice it will smell?

No, I'm thinking about what's taking it so gosh darn long. I'm thinking about wasted time. I'm thinking about how frustrated I'm becoming. And through Law of Attraction I'm bringing MORE of that wait, wasted time and frustration into my life. I'm stagnating my own darn seed's growth!

Over the last few days this message of 'Be Still' has been coming into my life repeatedly. I really feel as if God is really trying to work on me in this area. While I welcome it, I must admit I am struggling with it. However, I always find blogging about it helps me to learn about myself, and apply that which I know. 'Dr. heal thyself'

So why do I have trouble to 'Be Still'? I could list off a bunch of reasons but it all boils down to one thing. A lack of faith. Unless I am able to be hands on, unless I can actually witness progress, unless I know for sure in this physical plane that it's coming along as it should then I am discontented. I am not trusting in God to handle it on my behalf.

If I know something is important for the well being of my children, of course, I make sure it gets done. If my children need something and I tell them I'll look after it, while they might feel the need to remind me, they are not sitting around stewing wondering if it's going to be done. They trust me.

Now fortunately for them they can ask me at any time about the progress but generally, they busy themselves with other matters content that I will let them know when there's something to know.

In the same way I need to simply trust in God/Source/Law of Attraction. Make the request, plant the seed and then trust that God has it covered. It's perfectly alright to remind God that I need something as long as I'm coming in faith. Or as long as I continue to blissfully visualize that coming into my life.

But that's easier said than done, at least for me currently. Which again is why being still is so important. The ability to relax, empty your mind and just connect is invaluable. By doing this you allow pure Source energy, the holy spirit, to flow into and through you. New ideas will flow as will peace and tranquility.

In our hectic days it seems totally counter-productive to take time out to do 'nothing' but in doing so, we revitalize ourselves and make our working hours so much more productive.

So I'm going to forthwith commit myself to talking 5-10 minutes to meditate a day. To reconnect and so visualize the successful completion of my desires - then forget about them, trusting God will do the rest.


Totally aside - Completed my 10 day challenge!!

Success

If you follow this site, then you know, or at least I sure hope you do, that the premise is to document one person's rise from living an average, non-exceptional life to one that is truly outstanding and the thinking and beliefs that lead to that rise.

The problem is, it's a bit of a lie. Why? Because, I have already achieved success. However, you probably wouldn't define it that way.

By and large people have a very superficial definition of success. It looks something like this:

Must be a millionaire or better
Must hold a position of importance
Must have an attractive partner or partners
Must be healthy and in North America that generally means muscular/sexy body and plastic surgery so you have an attractive, youthful appearance as well as good overall health
Probably famous
Owns beautiful mansions, cars, clothes, etc.

I think most anyone would agree a rich, handsome, well built man with a gorgeous young wife and lots of ostentatious wealth would be a poster child for success.

Motivational Speaker Anthony Robbins understands this and that's the life he leads. He has to. Not for his benefit but for yours.

Let's face it, if Tony gave all his money to charity and lived and dressed very modestly, if he didn't work out and was as skinny as he once was, (although still healthy), if he married a very average or below average looking woman (even if she was an outstanding personality) and if you had never heard of him, you would not for a moment think he knew anything special that was worth listening too. At least, not without someone else recommending him.

So even though, at his core he was the exact same person, living his life exactly as he chose, living a life of boundless happiness, married to someone whom he loves and is loved by deeply, with fantastic knowledge that could change your life in an instant, you would not perceive him to have achieved success, at least not unless you got to know him. Anthony must have all those superficial signs of success on display so people will listen to what he has to say.

Here's another example of success that flys contrary to the thinking of the masses.

Mother Theresa.

Was she rich? Heavens no. She lived an extremely modest life.
Was she beautiful? Internally yes, where it mattered but she not a women men would look twice at.
Did she hold a prestigious position in life? Not my most people's standards.
Did she have an attractive mate? Not a worldly one, no, never.
Was she healthy? Yes, but not in the Hollywood sense that North Americans use to define it.
Did she own lots of great things. No.
Was she famous? Yes, but she did not seek it nor would it have made her any less of a success if she wasn't.

Let's face it, if you took her out of her religious attire and put her on the streets people would sooner think she was a baglady than a truly successful person. I'm sure you would agree they would be horribly wrong.

So then how do we define success? What makes a person successful?

The difference between a successful person and everyone else, is a successful person is defining the life they live while everyone else is allowing life to define them.

To put it another way, successful people are walking in faith. They are asking God for what they want and walking towards that in faith that the Lord will provide. They are not limiting what they are asking for, for they know that the Lord has no limitations. They are not living in doubt or fear.

Although they face daily uncertainy because the way forward is not clear it does not disway them. They have come to the firm realization that like walking through a dense fog, as you make each step forward you'll be able to see your immediate surroundings and take another step forward. Even when they do bump into something, that's okay, they expect and accept that that is going to happen. They just move around the obstacle and keep going. If they come to a wall they trust God will provide a way over, under, around or through and diligently search for that until they find it. If they step off an abyss they know God has a rope around them and will pull them back up. So while it may frighten for the moment, they do not doubt in their heart they'll soon be back on solid ground. In time they make it to where they are going.

Everyone else meanwhile avoids the fog, worried they'll get hurt or lost or merely be directionless because they don't know where they are headed to begin with. So they either move away from the fog, and have their path defined for them by the fog of life or sit still, not going anywhere, until the fog and their life passes away.


So to succeed you must have a clear vision of where you want to be that emboldens you, you must have deep lasting faith in your heart that you will arrive there and you must, must, must be taking action to achieve that vision (do not wait for God to place it before you, boldly go and claim it).

Vision, faith, persistant action those are the hallmarks of success. Even if you have not yet arrived, you are defining what life you are living and that is success.

What everyone else is doing, irregardless of their place in life, irregardless of how many of the superficial signs of success they have, is merely existing.

So our poster child of success could be rich and famous because of his parents, could have a gorgeous partner and many fancy things because he has money, he may even be given ownership of the family business but without vision, faith and persistant action of his own, he is still merely existing and is no more spiritually rich or fulfilled than a pauper. He is not successful, he is merely a dim shadow of the success that came before. So do not put stock in those worldly things.

Success is a state of mind, a state of being. And I have already arrived.

Concert

It's been longer since I blogged than I had thought! Where does the time go?

First up: Still doing well on my 10 day mental challenge. Now on day 8 and feeling fine. I'm actually quite pleased with myself, for this is showing me just how far I've come. When I first took the challenge many years ago, I had to be constantly safeguarding my thoughts. Now though, positivity is my habitual way of thinking, even when I'm feeling down, I hold optomizism in my heart, that it will turn around even if the present is unpleasant.

Secondly my weekend was great. I spend Saturday volunteering at a Christian music festival (www.musicinthesquare.com) which a friend of mine organizes. I had an active organizer myself in it's first year (2006). In 2007 a poorly formed core group fell apart killing the event and in 2008 my friend was too busy with wedding plans to give the event the attention it requires. This year I only made small contributions of my time so I only watched from the sidelines as it took form. This years event was the best ever, although threat of rain kept the crowd disappointingly small. Nevertheless I couldn't help but marvel at the realization of my friend's dream.

The other great thing about it was that I was able to spend the day with my old girlfiend (who was also volunteering). We've been talking all along but being together (which he havn't done since Easter) allowed us, or perhaps just me, to redefine our relationship more fully. And although she's no longer my lover, she is a wonderful person and a highly valued friend. She might also contribute to my sister blog - Preston's Pearls.

Otherwise, there's not much to report aside from the many day to day issues. I did get a couple ideas for blogs for Preston's Pearls over the weekend (in addition to my Step series) so keep on eye there for more.

High Intention, Low Attachment saves the day

This week has been a very tumultuous week for me on the relationship front.

Amazingly, even to me, is that despite the heartache and emotional rollercoaster I have been able to keep my overall outlook positive. I do believe I will find someone, that someone who I'll truly love and be able to share my life with. While I am already in love, it's not looking like my current situation can survive and so while, on one hand, I'm hoping things work themselves out, I am also remaining open to someone new.

High intention, low attachment. Man, I love that concept. It's a life saver! Previously I would have focused all my attention on one specific person, thinking they were the only ones who could make me feel so fulfilled, despite it being a, most likely, lost cause. Now I'm not entirely giving up on that either but I am not making that person my be all and end all either. In the end, it's a certain state I want to achieve and it doesn't necessarily have to be one specific person to acheive that state. If someone else can come in and fulfill my needs and take me there (and vice versa of course) then you can bet your bottom dollar all the love I currently have will be gratefully shared with that person instead.

However, in the short term I think it's time to 'turtle'. There's been a few too many ups and downs of late and I'm feeling the need to retreat, restabilize, refocus and then restart fresh(er).

The Rollercoaster

The last couple of days have been an emotional rollercoaster.

Sunday started well, went sour and then surprisingly improved. That improvement carried on into Monday which was a good day but then ended bittersweet. I'm not about to go into details here but I will say I'm reminded of the age old adage - Be careful what you wish for, because you just may get it.

Also I've been very emotionally open and that's left me too prone to be carried too and fro emotionally by various people in my life. While I hate to do it, I think I need to close off for a bit, steady myself, reestablish that it is I'm after and then focus on specifically that.

In the meantime, it's important that I keep my focus and energy going. In today's Six Minutes to Success, Bob Proctor spoke about Crisis and Advancement which sums up as follows:

Advancements of all type are always proceeded by a crisis.

The greater the crisis the greater to opportunity for advancement.

So whether it's the current economic crisis or our own individual crisis (of whatever scale) you need to not be looking at the crisis itself but looking for that opportunity for advancement. Obviously it's easier to find the former - it's staring you in the face after all- than it is to find the latter but it's the latter than matters. That is your growth opportunity and place where you will find balance.

I'm still learning as I go along, just need to not become jadded and remain faithful that my desires are being met. Usually, the universe just needs to shape us up in order to meet those desires.

Dang - One life to live

I have to restart my 10 Day mental Challenge (effective today) because yesterday I allowed my self to dwell (and discuss) how frustrated I was in one area of my life so here we go again from Day 1.

I don't mind much, while it's annoying and disheartening I do take solace in the fact that if you are doing this challenge as well then you will know you're not alone in struggling to make 10 days.

I watched the Curious Case of Benjamin Button in which Brad Pitt plays the role of a man who is younging instead of aging. He's born old and gets younger as the years go by.

It's a thought provoking and touching movie and ultimately I found it very sad but not for the reasons you may think. While my daughter was crying because he died a baby in the arms of an old woman who had been the love of his life, I wasn't really touched by that (it was a pretty obvious conclusion), I was greatly sadden because here was a man who had lived a truly unique life, held a unique view of the world, unique experiences and challenges and although he had done and seen a great many things in his time, once he was gone, there was nothing left of him except a journal which because of it's inconceivable tale would probably never leave his daughter's care. A daughter that had never even know him. Really, when the old lady passed away so did any last trace of Benjamin Button. Like vapour in the wind.

What a tragic waste. Yet, it is any different than you and I? If you were to die, right now, what mark will you have left behind? Think about it. Most people will at least live on through their kids, somewhat, and hopefully they were a positive contributor to their child's psyche and didn't instill unwittingly a lot of their own limitations into their children's lives (got you thinking now, didn't I). But once those who knew you die, what's left? Anything? Will it have mattered at all that you ever lived? Does that even matter to you? Perhaps you're content to just go through life, experience it and then when it's up it's up. Like a day in school, and you're just another student passing through for a few years.

But the greatest thing we bring to this world, is our diversity, our individuality, our unique outlook on life. We are all Benjamin Buttons. We all go through life on our own unique journey, gaining experiences that while maybe shared, still hold a unique meaning to us, developing our own unique outlook on life. And while it was tragic to lose Benjamin Button's perspective because of his special circumstances, is it really any less of a loss to lose your special perspective? Of course, none of us live forever, we are all but passing through. While we are here, we have an opportunity to shape this world, to craft it in our own image, our own vision and leave a lasting impression on this world that will signal out to generations yet unborn and be a warning, an inspiration, a statement, a question or a general betterment of life so that because you suffered, you have made sure no one else will ever have to suffer again.

Everyone who has left their imprint on this world from Napoleon, to Shakespeare to Nelson Mandela to Alexander Graham Bell have all been great men but they are still just people, exactly like you and I, no different, no better, no greater except they determined that they wanted to make the world a better place (from their perspective and in their own method) and didn't allow the general river of life to pull them along. Instead of going with the current they stuck their paddles in the water and made their own way charting a new path for all to follow or learn from.

Benjamin Button did touch on a couple of interest life points too, like you never know what tomorrow may bring. At one point Benjamin is just a happy crew member of a tugboat company, a comfortable if unambitious position but one day, that boat is commission by the navy as they enter the second world war. For the most part life continues as it had before, only what they were hauling changed, until they come across a u-boat that sinks them and destroys the life Benjamin had taken for granted.

Despite the fact that the last 5 years have been rout routine does not guarantee that tomorrow will be. You could win the lottery or be shot. You could find true love or get into a violent quarrel that ends it. You don't know, so you have to work on today, making the most of it, being the most of what you can be and doing what you can to make this world a better place, now, while you still can.

On the flip side, Benjamin meets a woman who had a dream, to swim the English Channel and she tried as a young lady to do so only to fail because of inclement weather. She had always meant to try again but her faith was crushed and instead she fell into a life of comfort and quiet desperation. However before the end, she somehow regained her faith and tried again as a mature woman and succeeded.

In the same way, it's never too late to realize your dreams. Certain opportunities may pass you by never to return, you cannot become a star Olympic athlete at 80... unless you switch from being a gymnast to being an equestrian jockey. Unless you change from being the star to coaching the star or sponsoring the athlete. As long as your alive and of right mind, you can still find a way to make it happen and you absolutely have an obligation to yourself to do exactly that.

We are here, with but one shot at this thing called life, even if you believe in reincarnation, do you really want to do all this over and over again until you get it right? My son had to repeat grade 10 math three times and trust me, he never wants to do it again. He'd have been much happier if he had applied himself the first time and never needed to repeat it at all. So commit yourself to live the life you truly want to live and be the person you truly want to be. You will not always succeed, sometimes inclement weather will scuttle your swim across the channel but take heart, if you're alive then your dream is alive too and you have but to try it again, and this time you'll give yourself the grace to postpone a day or two if need be to get the right weather. Nothing is ever a failure as long as we do not fail to learn. Any experience from a failed relationship to a fail business is not a failure in our lives or out character as long as we've learned from it and can apply that knowledge going forward. There are always more people to love and more business opportunities to try one's hand at and if you stick with it, you will succeed. Successful people don't fail less, they fail more and learn from each misstep how better to proceed.

You are your own unique creation. You are your very own Benjamin Button or Edward Scissorhands. Embrace that, don't follow the wide path but strike out on your own in a direction that seems best to you. Win or lose, the world is better off for your endeavors and so are you. Find a better route and suddenly the world will stop calling your crazy for going into the harsh bush country and call you genius for having the foresight and fortitude to find a better way. In doing so you'll leave a legacy for the world will be forever altered for the better by your presence.