Friday, January 22, 2010

The 100 Day Start Fast / Finish Strong Challenge - Day 9, Take 2

Technology really sucks sometimes.   Although I didn't take the time to blog about each day, I did take the time to make a list of what each day's message was but now due to a technical glitch, that list is gone.

Obviously I could just go back and review each's days message, later, but as I've already delayed this posting this long I'm loathe to delay it even further.   So I'm just going to take it as a sign from above to use a different approach and post anyway.

Over the last week the focus has been related to the theme of creating a sense of urgency.   Each day is a somewhat different aspect, and todays was about asking for what you want but mostly it's all amount to getting yourself to act now.

And considering it's taken me a week to post, I can only surmise I haven't been following too closely.  LOL.  Sad.

So far my Challenge has been off to a very rocky start.   I have not been able to focus enough to really make any sort of progress on any front at all.   This is partly due to a private struggle I've been dealing with and partly due to a sense of disconnect with my goals (see Course Correction).  

I'm also slowly making my way through Awaken the Giant Within but haven't had time (or focus) to do the first major excerise (writing out the pains of current behaviour and the pleasures of achiving desired behaviours).   Currently on the 3rd (?) chapter on beliefs.

Six Minutes to success has had some good stuff this week as well.  Been more impactful than usual.

As for what I'm doing in my life as a result of all this goodness I've been pouring in - The primary thing I've been learning to do is stay within a sphere of joy. 

For example - I had a situation which caused me considerable anxiety this week.   Instead of focusing on the issue, I began to do fun things to distract myself.   After a bit, I began to really question what I was doing as it seemed a total waste of time.   However, my sense was to continue, to merely allow myself to be in a constant state of joy and that the answer would come to me if I stayed in that state.  This isn't normal behaviour for me, usually I like to tackle things head on but it felt right so I went along with it.   After a few days, the answers did come.   As they came, I could immediately feel the 'rightness' about them.   They came with a sense of peace and certainty. 

In hindsight, I truly believe that if I had tried to focus on the problems, I would have continued to be in an state of agitation and anxiety.   In such a frame of mind I would not have been as open to finding these answers and the peace they have brought.

In particular, I was intent on making a go of really developing my website.   The clarity that it isn't my primary purpose isn't a shock I suppose but it is a departure from my thinking up until this point.  In hindsight it seems obvious but before it was an issue I was struggling with and it was causing me to become detached to the very thing I was trying to convince myself I needed to focus so much effort, money and energy into.

If I hadn't taken these few days to 'goof off' and live in a state of joy despite the agitations on my life, I no doubt would be investing time, energy and money into more web development - consequently wasting far greater amounts of my time.

Now someone may look at this and say, 'oh he's just justifying quitting' but really it's more of realigning with my primary purpose.   I am a writer, first and foremost and getting my books and stories published must be my main focus.   This website should not be dragging me away from that and it most certainly would have if I had continued down the path I had been on.

Being in a continuous state of joy, whether by reaching out to God or merely playing my Wii or talking to my friends and girlfriend has also given me a much quicker return to balance after being knocked for a loop by an unexpected issue, than I previously would have.

Ironically, that personal development is about as far removed from having a sense of urgency as you can get.  Or is it?    I've often heard that high powered people are able to remove themselves mentally from their immediate situation, find that place of peace and balance within, make a decision on how to act from that peace (and not from the chaos) and then act on that confidently and decisively.    That is what I am doing here.   It's just taken me a while, and the more I practice retreating into joy, the faster and more effective I will become.

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