Epiphany

I had blog earlier about how it had (finally) occured to me that I might be a little bi-polar. 

Oh wait....

Upon closer inspection it appears I didn't.   Although after writing 'Hiding in the Closet' it occurred to me for the first time that I might be.   It runs in my family.

Wednesday I was feeling quite on top of the world.  By Friday I was feeling depressed.   What happened?  Nothing.  That's the point.   I had no reason at all for the mood change.   By all right I should still have been feeling great.

However, when I began to feel down I did what I always do, wonder why.  And that's when it hit me.  Fortunately I had just written about beliefs and references here.  I stopped looking for reasons to look sad and said to myself.  What if I just feel sad for no reason?   By looking for reasons to be sad I have inadvertantly been providing references for a belief that I had legitimate reason to be sad.  That is to say, issues in my life that were causing me to feel that way.   At times, of course I do.  We all do.   But not always.   Often I just feel sad for no apparent reason - until I go attaching some.

By realizing that the feeling of depression is merely that - a feeling - unsubstanciated but any cause - I free myself from fighting causes (that generally aren't actually affecting my mood) to just working to snap myself out of an emotional state.

Worse, because I spend time looking for causes and then putting my energy against them I end up using the Law of Vibration/Attraction against myself!!    Now I can just say to myself, 'It's just a feeling' and do those things that I know will put my back into a positive frame of mind (dancing, blogging). 

That may not seem like much in the bog scheme of things, but it represents a fundimental shift in my use of energy and of my vibrational pattern.   At least it will if I can continue to recognize the feeling as just that and not fall into the habit of justifying it.    If I can create a habit of immediately doing things to snap me out of negative feelings then it'll allow my vibration to remain positive consistantly (instead of the up and downs I now have) and that should diametrically increase my life.