Friday, December 18, 2009

Day 80 of the Start Fast, Finish Strong Challenge

Okay, if you can add it's closer to day 85 but whatever, it's also time for my review so this is a nice way to kill two birds with one stone.

 There's been a couple of really good messages on the challenge lately (focus, branding), and some so so ones.

The biggest challenge at this point is Christmas.   It's an absolutely horrible distraction when you're trying to 'finish strong' and really makes you think twice about using the last 100 days of the year for this program.   Probably the first 100 would be a better option.

Okay, update on my various goals:

Health: Reached my goal Early!!  Well my initial goal, some time ago, but I lost a little of the weight and not regained it.   Not going to reach my revised goal (well, maybe, putting on weight around Christmas shouldn't be a problem...)

Relationship:  I am just about ready to call this one complete too.   Certainly should be reached by end of year.

Writing:  The chances of me getting a publisher between now and the end of the year are extremely slim to none and slim is boarding a bus.    However, this wasn't the most realistic goal in the first place and one I didn't really apply myself too.    Despite that I have made fantastic strides getting in getting it editted, getting an agent interested and am now working on revising the first three chapters based on editoral feedback (should have been done weeks ago) to send to the agent.    I am estatic about how good the revisions are coming along.   They are really making it a stronger book all around.

Website: Again, not the most realistic goal and nothing short of a small, gracious miracle will get me to my goal now.  However, again, fantastic strides have been made.  And again, this is a goal I didn't give as much attention as it really deserved or required.   However, to be honest, I really didn't know what I was getting myself into.    Running a website business is a FAR cry from running a blog.    There's SO much to learn and do and it'll take me months to really master everything.    It's also really hard to do it part-time while also working on other goals.     I now have a logo for the website.    Development is currently on slow while I concentrate on my book.

Finances: Ah... yeah.... Well... this one was always tied directly into Writing, website and investment.   Investment was put on hold long ago now because I need to have a worthwhile amount of cash to start with.  Writing and web have already been talked about above.    My biggest failing here really is a lack of focus on marketing my website.   And that's because of how I've structured my time.    When I do my web work it's not possible for me to be going onto social sites to market it.     When I could go onto those sites I'm too busy hitting the gym, working on relationships and writing plus normal day to day living.   So it's been overlooked.

Overall:   I must say, despite the fact that I may fall short of reaching all my goals, I have made tremendous progress in reshaping my life.   I am much healther, have a budding relationship with an outstanding woman, plus made super valuable friends along the way, my book is going from good to 'great' and I am very confident it WILL be published, it's only a matter of time.   My website is happening and really is a source of great pride and joy for me.  It will take some time, in the normal course of things, to build up and become substancial and really start to make me serious cash, but I don't doubt it'll happen.    It also needs to really establish a 'brand' and identity that seperates it from the crowd, but I do feel that is happening.   With a book going to be published and website business launching I can certainly see the day when all my goals here will be accomplished even if it hasn't happened within the initial 100 days.

I would really love to repeat the challenge but with fewer goals so I can actually have time to impliment the daily goals the challenge gives you.   As is, both my challenge buddy and I have felt overwhelmed by taking on 5 goals on top of already busy lives (especially now around Christmas).   I'm not sure if all the lessons will remain open to me once the challenge is over or if I'd have to pay again.  Hopefully the former.

Another 15+ days to go.   It is Christmas, the time of miracles so here's hopeing there'll be a Christmas miracle for me.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Epiphany

I had blog earlier about how it had (finally) occured to me that I might be a little bi-polar. 

Oh wait....

Upon closer inspection it appears I didn't.   Although after writing 'Hiding in the Closet' it occurred to me for the first time that I might be.   It runs in my family.

Wednesday I was feeling quite on top of the world.  By Friday I was feeling depressed.   What happened?  Nothing.  That's the point.   I had no reason at all for the mood change.   By all right I should still have been feeling great.

However, when I began to feel down I did what I always do, wonder why.  And that's when it hit me.  Fortunately I had just written about beliefs and references here.  I stopped looking for reasons to look sad and said to myself.  What if I just feel sad for no reason?   By looking for reasons to be sad I have inadvertantly been providing references for a belief that I had legitimate reason to be sad.  That is to say, issues in my life that were causing me to feel that way.   At times, of course I do.  We all do.   But not always.   Often I just feel sad for no apparent reason - until I go attaching some.

By realizing that the feeling of depression is merely that - a feeling - unsubstanciated but any cause - I free myself from fighting causes (that generally aren't actually affecting my mood) to just working to snap myself out of an emotional state.

Worse, because I spend time looking for causes and then putting my energy against them I end up using the Law of Vibration/Attraction against myself!!    Now I can just say to myself, 'It's just a feeling' and do those things that I know will put my back into a positive frame of mind (dancing, blogging). 

That may not seem like much in the bog scheme of things, but it represents a fundimental shift in my use of energy and of my vibrational pattern.   At least it will if I can continue to recognize the feeling as just that and not fall into the habit of justifying it.    If I can create a habit of immediately doing things to snap me out of negative feelings then it'll allow my vibration to remain positive consistantly (instead of the up and downs I now have) and that should diametrically increase my life.

Day 70 of 100 Day Challenge

I've lots to do so I'm going to try to keep this short however, it's been 10 days since I last posted how I'm doing on the 100 Day Challenge so let me bring you up to date.

I wish I had some terrific dramatic news but I don't however, I do have progress!

Quickly here:

Fitness goal - Off track at the moment but continuing.   Missed the last four days (only able to exercise at home not at the gym) but hit it the previous 3 days and will again today.   Not even sure of my weight at the moment.

Website - Wednesday was a great day.   I got two independant confirmations that what I'm doing on my website is being seen and matters! One by word of mouth and the other came to me in person to tell me how much they appreciated my posts.    That was really inspiring at a time where my tracking was showing no traffic and I was wondering if anybody cared at all.     Turns out my tracker broke somehow so I just reset it.

Otherwise I have been steadily working away at it doing a lot of the backend high level work of trying to decide upon colours and design, layout, functionality, talking to the IT and creative, getting a logo made, etc., while continuing to blog regularly.

Writing - Did I mention Wednesday was a great day?   I've gotten almost no work done on my book.  My laptop battery is near useless now, and barely worth even taking my laptop anywhere.   I have ordered a new battery.   However!  Turns out we are having some guest speakers at my new Creative Writing class including a Jr. Agent which deals with Young Adult Novels.  Boo-ya!!

Financial Independence - As always ties into writing/web.  Currently seeing a big fat zero from either but both are progressing and show promise.    The concepts behind the web are really starting to gel and I'm beginning to see how I'm going to really set myself apart from everything else out on the market.   It's all a matter of time and hard work.   God willing, things will fall into place quickly enough to make my 100 Day Challenge goals.

Romance - Things have finally stabilized from having three prospectives to one girl I'm seeing regularly.   Still early on this one but we have a great repore and respect for each other and things are progressing smoothly if somewhat slowly.

Thoughts on the Challenge itself.    The daily audio/video clips are becoming almost meaningless to me now as I'm pretty set in what I'm doing and not focusing on the daily challenges, at all.    Really, I'd love to repeat the 100 Day Challenge (hope I don't have to pay again...) with smaller, less grandiouse goals and work the Challenge goals a lot more to develop character.   As it is, I've picked such large goals I don't feel like I have time for anything else.

That it for now.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Coaching Conundrum

Jack Canfield's company sent me an e-mail with a special offer which linked to a website which, to make a long story short, was a front for his coaching program.

Now Jack Canfield offers perhaps the finest success coaching program around.   It's very organized, structured and I'm sure very, very good.

I had applied for it once before, about a year or two ago but was amazed when they turned me down.   Apparently being totally confident of my abilities wasn't a good thing in there eyes.  

Unexpectedly given the opportunity again, I had to admit, despite my confidence last time, I still was not living the life I desired. 

While I was (and am) taking the 100 Day Challenge I wasn't exactly working that program hard, despite having a challenge buddy (She needs to kick my ass more).   I am still working on the website, to be sure, barely touching my book editting at the moment,  making progress on a relationship with a truly outstanding woman (Thank you God!!), keeping steady with my exercises and nicely toning my body.  Heck, except for working on my book (currently need to do a query letter for an agent that's coming to my writing class), I'm actually doing pretty good...   But I really need to be applying myself a lot harder if I expect to generate the kind of results I want.   A lot harder.  A lot smarter and a lot more efficiently. 

Perhaps a Canfield Coach could help with that.

So I went throught the process, was approved and committed my $3,899.00 US.

What?!  Yeah, that's  a good chuck of change all right.  What does it get you?

A program to follow.   8 thirty minutes calls from your coach.   Unlimited access to their coach line for six months.   If you havn't had results after six months despite doing everything they asked, they continue to work with you free of charge.

The vast bulk of the work, is, of course, with you.   I had to commit to working thier program 30 minutes a day (about 5 hours a week), being called by or calling their coach weekly for six month.  Doing various exercises and reviews.  After all if you don't work the program, the program can't work.

Here's the thing.   I told my best friend and she reminded me that I am already an expert in the field. 

Honestly, she's right.    I've been studying personal development for over 20 years now.   I've studied the greats from Waddles, Hill, Carnagie, Covey, Robbins, Proctor, Nightingale, Zigler, Hicks, Canfield himself amoungst others, watched 'The Secret' multiple times, and attacked it from the religious angle through church, Osteen, Peale, and others.

I had no expectations that this coach would tell me any new insightful information.   I only expected him to remind me about what I already knew.  To put me on a program.  To hold me accountable.

Wait.  What?  That's when it hit me.   Why am I paying someone $4,000.00 Cdn to tell me what I already know?   To put me on a program I can just as well create myself or simply purchase Jack Canfield's book 'The Success Principals'  and derive from that?  To hold me accountable?  Why don't I just man-up and grow-up and commit 30 minutes a day to myself?  Review and coach myself?  And damn well pay myself $4,000.00.

So that's exactly what I'm going to do.  I've cancelled with Canfield and I'm going to take that money (from my credit card) and put it into my own (high interest) Savings Account.   There it will sit for six months, untouched, while I devote thirty minutes a day to personal development, review weekly and coach myself using twenty years of knowledge.   If I obtain significant results - minimum result would be to have earned an additional $4,000.00 and paid off the credit card. Then I'll move the $4,000.00 payment into my active chequeing account.   If I don't.  Then I'll give myself a money back guarantee and fully reimburse myself.

What do I have to lose?  A bit of interest and six months?   What do I stand to lose with Canfield's Coaching?  Six months and four grand.  Bottom line is if I don't work the program for myself, then almost certainly I wouldn't have been working it properly for them either.   I mean how accountable can a guy thousands of miles away hold you anyway?  It's not like he's holding my money for ransom.   It would be gone already, I would have nothing more to lose.

If I fail to work the program, maybe I'll make that one big charitable donation.  That would be a better incentive.  Earn $4,000.00 (and then get paid another $4,000.00 to do so) or lose $4,000.00.   Like most people, I'll probably work harder to keep what I have than to gain what I don't.  Except in this case, I'd be doing both.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Desire - Why you want it and 5 Ways to grow it.

Consider the story of the disciple who went to his guru one day and asked,


“Master, how do I achieve enlightenment?” The wise old guru directed

the disciple to the bank of the Ganges River and had him kneel with

his head over the water. Then the guru

put his hand on the young man’s neck and pushed his head below the surface

of the water. After a minute and a half the young disciple was frantic. He

pulled and heaved and flailed his arms, but the grip was like iron. He could

not get his head back out of the water. After two minutes, when it seemed as

though his lungs would burst, the grip was released.



The young man’s head

jerked out of the water and he took great gulps of air into his tortured lungs.

The guru smiled. “Tell me,” he gently asked, “ what was your greatest

desire just then?”



“To breathe,” the young disciple stated emphatically.



“Ah,” the guru said. “When you desire enlightenment to that degree, it shall be yours.”


Desire

This is where I, and most everyone falls short.
 
D.E.B.   Desire, Expectation, Belief.
 
For you to overcome all obstacles, particularly the ones we erect within our own subconscious minds, you must DESIRE something to such a near fanatical degree that you simply can not live without it.   Your life is incomplete and you cannot and moreover will not go on as is without it.
 
For most of us the only time we come to that degree of desire is when we fall deeply in love.   Suddenly we go from merely enjoying someone's company to be willing to 'climb any mountian, swim any ocean' to 'walk ten thousand miles' even to die for them just to have that person in our lives.
 
But why can't we have that kind of passion for those other things we really want in our lives? 
 
Well, we can.   However we need to develop it ourselves.
 
First you need to be crystal clear on your goals and why you want them.  If you need help with goal setting review this.

Second, don't worry about how.  God/the universe will take care of the How, you just need to be clear in what you want and why.

There are different techniques that can help to develop a burning desire but whichever one or ones you choose to use, you need to consistantly use it until it becomes a habitualized pattern.   Something you do as unthinkingly as having your morning cup of coffee.   You feel something is wrong when you miss it.

"We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence therefore in not an act but a habit."  - Aristotle
 
The Carrot and Stick

You can make a list of how achieving the goal will benefit you, your family, friends and society in general.  Make it as extensive as you can.   Choose the top 5 can put them on a note card.  Then make a list of all the negatives that will happen if you don't make that change.   Choose the top 5 and put them on the note card.
Review that note card daily.  Put it somewhere conspicuous so you see it all the time.

Visualize

Spend 5 minutes everyday seeing your life as if you have already accomplished your goal.  Really put yourself in that reality.   See it, hear it, smell it, feel it in your mind.   Be enrapured with joy.   You're subconscious mind cannot distinguish between reality and something intensely imagined (ever wake up be momentarily uncertain if it was a dream or reality or thing you did something but then realized you only dreamt it?).   If you continuously envision it, your subconscious will accept it and guide you there.

NLP

Neuro-Linguishtic Programing.  Like visualization taken a step further.   Envision your currently reality then see in your mind your desired reality smashing through that image. Just shattering it to thousands of pieces.  Make your current reality dull, muted, even black and white while your envisioned reality is bright, colourful and vibrant with energy and feeling.   Hold that image of your new reality in your mind for a minute then repeat 3-5 times.   This is a proven way to reprogram your subconcious mind.

Intend it

Expect it to happen.   Fake it until you make it.  Put yourself in the mindset that it's a sure deal that that reality is going to happen.  No ifs, ands or buts about it.   Doesn't matter what's happening in the present, that's merely the storm before the calm.  That future is already yours, it's set in stone, you have simply yet to arrive to it's shores. 

Matthew 7:7-8 - Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. (NIV)

As my pastor friend says 'If your going to pray for rain, you better be walking with an umbrella.'

I'll be expounding more or Expectation and Belief in future posts.