Four years ago I was desperate to make a life change. I was stuck. Stuck where many people find themselves in this life - living a comfortable but compassionless life. The type of life where, while you're not suffering any great ordeal (no terrible disease, no crippling poverty, no social ruin), where you have enough to live comfortably, you have friends, maybe someone special, you're healthy, you're working your way up the corporate ladder and have lots of great 'stuff' in your life - those things that make you happy (shoes, clothes, cars, for me at that time it was video games - I had hundreds), it still... well it's just... insufficient. The type of life where you ask, 'Is this all there is?'
So in order to do more, to be more, to have more I join Jack Canfield's Coaching Program. I wrote two blog posts on this already which you can find by clicking: Part I and Part II (I also wrote many other posts while doing the program: see 2011 folder)
If you've read them then you know already that Jack's Coaching Program didn't provide the key. It DID provide a lot of truths and answers but what I've realized is knowing WHY you do a thing or don't do a thing isn't really enough. I understood much better why I wasn't doing those things I wanted to do. And so what? I still wasn't doing them. I still didn't know how to change. It's kind of like wanting to be smarter and you discover that you suffer from mild mental retardation (by apologies if there's a more 'correct' term I should be using here). Great, so now you know why you're not smarter. And you are no smarter for knowing it. If anything, perhaps you're more stuck because of it.
What did work for me then and what has continued to work for me since then, is relying on God.
Someone asked for an update, and since they asked, here it is. It is fitting because I started this blog to follow my path but once my path began in earnest, I stopped blogging about it. Perhaps it was more therapeutic to write about my struggles than my successes.
But I digress, 'details, we want details' the great unseen masses scream. So fine, details commencing.
Since then I proposed to the woman God said I should be with, despite the fact that we had broken up and to my shock she accepted because God had told her likewise. What? Shocking I know. Truth.
I placed her nearly forgotten book that she'd felt God had asked her to write three years earlier onto Amazon and it became a success!! We started an online group for readers and have grown that into a profitable business and bless many people every month now. Truth.
I've quit my government job (3 months ago now) and started my own business (from practically nothing) writing the books I feel inspired to write and helping other inspired authors to get theirs out successfully as well. So far, I'm getting as much business as I can handle and the potential seems unlimited. Plus reaction to my first book has been stellar and the second will be out next month.
My wife and I have bought a nice car (Lexus) and a nice house (worth over 500k) and are sending our (her/my stepson) to a private school. Things are tight at times, money flow isn't consistent and often bills need to be paid or investment made prior to income coming in, but each month we manage and each month seems a little better than the last despite whatever apocalyptic short-comings we foresee the following month. We feel favoured. And why shouldn't we be? We are doing our best to do what God has called us to do.
Are we spared hardwork, hard times and struggles? No. Why should we be? But we approach them differently now. We know, despite what, God will see us through if we just stay committed, stay on target and keep moving in faith. Ask any success guru, and they will tell you those are the keys to success (minus mentioning God).
So now that I'm achieving success, in so far as I'm living life on my terms, doing what I love (praise God) in a wonderful happy relationship with a wonderful woman I admire and adore, and paying our bills and seeing our businesses grow each month, so while not rich, in a WAY better place than I was four years ago when I joined Jack's program - living a life of compassion - what advice do I have for you?
Success - in whatever terms you define that and you need to have a really good grasp of what success means for you - is something you either absolutely must have, or you don't have it. You're either 100% committed to it, willing to do whatever it takes, go to any length, die if necessary, or it's an elusive fog, always visible in the distance but somehow not obtainable. It's not about how smart you are, how capable you are, how educated you are (although all those things help) it's really about how desperate you are for it, and how much faith you have. Oh, to be broken but have faith. That is the sweetest spot. That's when alcoholics finally find freedom from insanity and when the rest of stop trying to 'be successful' and just do it because we know, God has got our backs, IF and WHEN He sees we're truly and utterly committed and totally willing to go out of our comfort zones and out of our own understandings to do it. Yes, the key to success if often doing what any rational person would tell you is insane, stupid, hopeless and crazy. I'm not saying to do stupid, hopeless, crazy things - unless you're sure that's what needs to be done, you're will to pay whatever price to do it and you know God is in agreement with you doing it. Then, DO IT. It will happen and all those people will be left shaking their heads wondering how you pulled it off. You may not even know afterwards. You just did it because it HAD to be done. That's success.
Don't have it? Keep looking. Don't stop. When everything your trying to do breaks down and you finally go to God and say 'What do I have to do? I'll do anything. YOU tell me what do to, I'll do it.' And you mean it. You're desperate enough to do any fool thing God tells you do to (and it may seem totally foolhardy - did for me, I was sure I was tossing thousands out the door on a non-refundable engagement ring following this stupid notion God was giving me to marry some woman who didn't fit my pre-defined image of what my mate should be - God was right, I was wrong, it was a fantastic investment. And again leaving a secure Government job to start a business from almost nothing.) Then you'll find it. You don't have it because you are too comfortable to be desperate and to self-reliant to have the needed faith.
(You may say, well some people just believed in themselves. No they didn't. They believed they would do whatever it took, and then the World would reward them. They are right. God rewards those who act in that kind of faith, even if they don't know Him personally - I find they do have a relationship with God, either before or after, they find their maker in a way that they can understand Him).
Monday, January 19, 2015
Monday, April 14, 2014
The Leap of Faith and the Cost
April 2014
Well this is different. I find myself in a fairly unique situation where not only is my faith tested but I have to leave it bare to face the scrutiny of another man; a pastor. It is causing me quite a degree of anxiety but I'm taking comfort in God and in the Word and keep finding that cornerstone of peace.
Allow me to elaborate.
Trying to keep it brief but after a lifetime of not doing what God's called me to do, I'd decided to commit to doing HIS will, fully and completely. So to this end, day and night I'm praying 'Without reservation or retreat I commit myself to doing Your Will, to write, to act, to illustrate and to produce/publish....'
Well about three weeks ago God suddenly called me on it. I know, as I've shared here on this blog, that when one walks out their faith, absolutely - without reservation or retreat - God honours that kind of faith. And well I was talking the talk I was only partly walking the walk. I suddenly had a new thought in my mind, as is common when I hear from God. Profound knowledge just 'plunked' into my empty brain. Here it is: I was not actually committed. I had reservation - I wasn't fully doing what I was saying and I certainly had retreat. Not that I was exercising the retreat but it was there to fall back on, just in case. If I didn't see results my life would continue unchanged. My work had introduced an 'exit initiative' which basically meant, if I volunteered to leave, they'd pay me six months salary plus severance plus vacation. or about ten months pay paid out in a lump or as continuous payments.
Yes you see where this is going. No reservation, no retreat. I am either walking in faith or I'm not. I'm either committed to doing it His way or I'm not. There can't be any half measures. I can't serve both God and money (but I have no fear that money will become a dire issue. Although it may be tight before the blessings really start to flow. But the blessings will flow if I am true, if I am fully 100% committed without reservation or retreat.
So yes I submitted the form. But I didn't tell my wife.
Yeah, and now I've told her and she, justifiably so, thinks I'm crazy. And is quite understandably upset.
Did God tell me not to tell her? Not as such, no. Although the holy spirit did show me that pulling my stable job out from under her would make her extremely unbalanced while it would motivate and balance me. My understanding was that it would be better to wait. And that's what I did until I felt the spirit move me to tell her. In the flesh I am 100% convicted that I should have told my wife. In the spirit I am at peace. I feel that I did the right thing. That if I had told her she would have said absolutely no and I would have done it anyway, because God trumps my wife, and that would have lead to an even bigger falling out.
FOLLOW-UP (Jan 2015): I've left my job and am now self-employed but not yet making the kind of income I need to replace my previous income. Showing promise though. The Pastor didn't think it was wise to not tell my wife, but understood and could not fault my obedience to God. Wife was scarred by that surprise and while it's not an issue day to day, it remains a sore spot. Did I do the right thing? I don't think 'right' is an operable word here. I don't think either decision would have been 'right' - that is without negative ramifications - but remained convinced the choice I made was the better choice but I not one I'm willing ever to repeat.
Well this is different. I find myself in a fairly unique situation where not only is my faith tested but I have to leave it bare to face the scrutiny of another man; a pastor. It is causing me quite a degree of anxiety but I'm taking comfort in God and in the Word and keep finding that cornerstone of peace.
Allow me to elaborate.
Trying to keep it brief but after a lifetime of not doing what God's called me to do, I'd decided to commit to doing HIS will, fully and completely. So to this end, day and night I'm praying 'Without reservation or retreat I commit myself to doing Your Will, to write, to act, to illustrate and to produce/publish....'
Well about three weeks ago God suddenly called me on it. I know, as I've shared here on this blog, that when one walks out their faith, absolutely - without reservation or retreat - God honours that kind of faith. And well I was talking the talk I was only partly walking the walk. I suddenly had a new thought in my mind, as is common when I hear from God. Profound knowledge just 'plunked' into my empty brain. Here it is: I was not actually committed. I had reservation - I wasn't fully doing what I was saying and I certainly had retreat. Not that I was exercising the retreat but it was there to fall back on, just in case. If I didn't see results my life would continue unchanged. My work had introduced an 'exit initiative' which basically meant, if I volunteered to leave, they'd pay me six months salary plus severance plus vacation. or about ten months pay paid out in a lump or as continuous payments.
Yes you see where this is going. No reservation, no retreat. I am either walking in faith or I'm not. I'm either committed to doing it His way or I'm not. There can't be any half measures. I can't serve both God and money (but I have no fear that money will become a dire issue. Although it may be tight before the blessings really start to flow. But the blessings will flow if I am true, if I am fully 100% committed without reservation or retreat.
So yes I submitted the form. But I didn't tell my wife.
Yeah, and now I've told her and she, justifiably so, thinks I'm crazy. And is quite understandably upset.
Did God tell me not to tell her? Not as such, no. Although the holy spirit did show me that pulling my stable job out from under her would make her extremely unbalanced while it would motivate and balance me. My understanding was that it would be better to wait. And that's what I did until I felt the spirit move me to tell her. In the flesh I am 100% convicted that I should have told my wife. In the spirit I am at peace. I feel that I did the right thing. That if I had told her she would have said absolutely no and I would have done it anyway, because God trumps my wife, and that would have lead to an even bigger falling out.
FOLLOW-UP (Jan 2015): I've left my job and am now self-employed but not yet making the kind of income I need to replace my previous income. Showing promise though. The Pastor didn't think it was wise to not tell my wife, but understood and could not fault my obedience to God. Wife was scarred by that surprise and while it's not an issue day to day, it remains a sore spot. Did I do the right thing? I don't think 'right' is an operable word here. I don't think either decision would have been 'right' - that is without negative ramifications - but remained convinced the choice I made was the better choice but I not one I'm willing ever to repeat.
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Self-therapy
I'm going to ask a question and then I'm going to attempt to answer it here.
All my life, since I was a child, I felt a calling to write. Multiple times I have strongly been convicted by God to write. And yet even though I enjoy it, even though my peers in the writing community tell me I'm talented, I continuously procrastinate when it comes to writing. Why?
I'd like to put 'I don't know' and this is my round about way of doing that despite it totally not being an acceptable answer.
In truth, I do know. I MUST know. After all, am I not the master of my own ship? Nothing happens without my giving the orders. Although my brain likes to do it's own thing subconsciously, in must still bow down to my conscious commands. And even conscious commands made consistently become ingrained in the subconscious like grooves in a vinyl record. So the fault is mine.
And in truth I think... no I know... I've constantly set such lofty goals and expectations for myself that it seems doomed to failure from the start. It's not enough to get a book published but even that would be a huge leap from where I am really, but I have set an expectation of being one of the world's greatest authors. One who reaches millions in dozens of languages and makes a difference in people's lives for generations like Shakespeare, Shaw, Dickens and Twain. I'm 45 or will be shortly. 45 and no books. Some written work from the fits and starts I've had over the years but no cohesive long term effort. And I'm comparing myself to Shakespeare, Shaw, Dickens and Twain? I am mad. Delusional.
There is an argument to be made that it's possible. And yes possible. But so is winning the grand prize in the lottery yet I'm not buying tickets every week because the odds stink. If I face 'reality' as such as common sense would dictate. I could probably get a book published, if I worked on it long enough. Keep writing until one finally got published, like Stephen King who had written several books before his first was published 'Carrie'. The others were later published as the 'Bachman books'. Point is, he was a failure as a commercial writer for years but stuck to it until he simply couldn't anymore and then the break came.
So yes, it's possible. And I feel deeply convicted, more than possible, that it WILL happen IF I'm that committed. Am I afraid of failure? I don't think so, I've been rejected many times and failure really carries no risk. I can be rejected forever and no one else needs to even know. It's kinda safe actually.
Am I afraid of success? Success would mean a change in my life for sure. More money, persumably, more fame - but I love fame. Stick me on a stage and I chew scenery like no-ones business. I love to speak in front of people. No, I have no issues with fame.
Is it a fear of submission/trust? I'm hard pressed to say yes to this either. I've learned to be very submissive to God and I trust him without hesitation in many areas of my life. Even when it defies common sense. Because it's Uncommon sense! And because it's served me very very well to listen to God. He knows of what He speaks even when it seems ridiculous to me.
Lead, Love and Literate. Those are the first 'Words' if you will I ever heard from God. One at a time over the course of several weeks. Just those three. Lead - everyone always. Be a leader. And I'm a good leader, perhaps a great one. I managed for years, was very successful and my staff loved me. Yet in my day to day life, I shirk away from leading. Preferring to allows others to do it. Love is much the same. I certainly have the capacity to be very loving but mostly I'm introverted. And we've discussed Literating (writing) already. Three things I'm particularly good at. Three things I've strong felt God was compelling me to master and embody and three things that I avoid like they were sour grapes. Not that I never do them, but I'm never inclined to do them.
Because what I'm really afraid of, is being someone great. Which seems ridiculous on many levels. Who am I to even think I'll be great? And what's wrong with being great? To the former: I am Preston Squire. To the latter - With Greatness comes great responsibility. If I'm a great leader, people will follow and I might lead them to ruin. Happens even to the best at times. If I'm loving, I could break people's hearts. And if I'm a writer, I could ultimately disappoint or fill your heads with my idiocy or something. Gosh, I don't even know.
But yes, that feels right. Afraid to be great. I don't want to let me light shine, for fear everyone will come running to see it, and then realize it's just little inadequate me, no one truly special. But who is? Really? We make people special - the Shakespeares, Shaws, Dickens, Twains of the world in whatever field. We lift them up for their achievements. And sure, they did indeed made very notable achievements. But are they themselves, as a human being, great? No, i dare say a close look at anyone's life will reveal their flaws. But that's the funny thing isn't it? They could be amoungst the most flawed people, but no one really remembers them for that. We remember them for what they were bold enough, to work on long enough to create. That's what we remember. Not Shakespeare the man, only Shakespeare the playwright, Edison the inventor, Ford the auto-maker, Galileo the astronomer, etc., etc.. Heck if we knew them in person we might not even like them, although I'm sure they were all fine fellows. But they weren't afraid to simply be their flawed selves. Like I am. Flawed. Tragically flawed.
And that's a beautiful thing. Who doesn't like to see the rut of the pack thrive in spite of adversity? Yes, being a flawed person, who dares to achieve anyway, well, that's an inspiring thing. Which makes me suddenly feel a whole lot better about being me and Leading, Loving and Literating. Thank God.
All my life, since I was a child, I felt a calling to write. Multiple times I have strongly been convicted by God to write. And yet even though I enjoy it, even though my peers in the writing community tell me I'm talented, I continuously procrastinate when it comes to writing. Why?
I'd like to put 'I don't know' and this is my round about way of doing that despite it totally not being an acceptable answer.
In truth, I do know. I MUST know. After all, am I not the master of my own ship? Nothing happens without my giving the orders. Although my brain likes to do it's own thing subconsciously, in must still bow down to my conscious commands. And even conscious commands made consistently become ingrained in the subconscious like grooves in a vinyl record. So the fault is mine.
And in truth I think... no I know... I've constantly set such lofty goals and expectations for myself that it seems doomed to failure from the start. It's not enough to get a book published but even that would be a huge leap from where I am really, but I have set an expectation of being one of the world's greatest authors. One who reaches millions in dozens of languages and makes a difference in people's lives for generations like Shakespeare, Shaw, Dickens and Twain. I'm 45 or will be shortly. 45 and no books. Some written work from the fits and starts I've had over the years but no cohesive long term effort. And I'm comparing myself to Shakespeare, Shaw, Dickens and Twain? I am mad. Delusional.
There is an argument to be made that it's possible. And yes possible. But so is winning the grand prize in the lottery yet I'm not buying tickets every week because the odds stink. If I face 'reality' as such as common sense would dictate. I could probably get a book published, if I worked on it long enough. Keep writing until one finally got published, like Stephen King who had written several books before his first was published 'Carrie'. The others were later published as the 'Bachman books'. Point is, he was a failure as a commercial writer for years but stuck to it until he simply couldn't anymore and then the break came.
So yes, it's possible. And I feel deeply convicted, more than possible, that it WILL happen IF I'm that committed. Am I afraid of failure? I don't think so, I've been rejected many times and failure really carries no risk. I can be rejected forever and no one else needs to even know. It's kinda safe actually.
Am I afraid of success? Success would mean a change in my life for sure. More money, persumably, more fame - but I love fame. Stick me on a stage and I chew scenery like no-ones business. I love to speak in front of people. No, I have no issues with fame.
Is it a fear of submission/trust? I'm hard pressed to say yes to this either. I've learned to be very submissive to God and I trust him without hesitation in many areas of my life. Even when it defies common sense. Because it's Uncommon sense! And because it's served me very very well to listen to God. He knows of what He speaks even when it seems ridiculous to me.
Lead, Love and Literate. Those are the first 'Words' if you will I ever heard from God. One at a time over the course of several weeks. Just those three. Lead - everyone always. Be a leader. And I'm a good leader, perhaps a great one. I managed for years, was very successful and my staff loved me. Yet in my day to day life, I shirk away from leading. Preferring to allows others to do it. Love is much the same. I certainly have the capacity to be very loving but mostly I'm introverted. And we've discussed Literating (writing) already. Three things I'm particularly good at. Three things I've strong felt God was compelling me to master and embody and three things that I avoid like they were sour grapes. Not that I never do them, but I'm never inclined to do them.
Because what I'm really afraid of, is being someone great. Which seems ridiculous on many levels. Who am I to even think I'll be great? And what's wrong with being great? To the former: I am Preston Squire. To the latter - With Greatness comes great responsibility. If I'm a great leader, people will follow and I might lead them to ruin. Happens even to the best at times. If I'm loving, I could break people's hearts. And if I'm a writer, I could ultimately disappoint or fill your heads with my idiocy or something. Gosh, I don't even know.
But yes, that feels right. Afraid to be great. I don't want to let me light shine, for fear everyone will come running to see it, and then realize it's just little inadequate me, no one truly special. But who is? Really? We make people special - the Shakespeares, Shaws, Dickens, Twains of the world in whatever field. We lift them up for their achievements. And sure, they did indeed made very notable achievements. But are they themselves, as a human being, great? No, i dare say a close look at anyone's life will reveal their flaws. But that's the funny thing isn't it? They could be amoungst the most flawed people, but no one really remembers them for that. We remember them for what they were bold enough, to work on long enough to create. That's what we remember. Not Shakespeare the man, only Shakespeare the playwright, Edison the inventor, Ford the auto-maker, Galileo the astronomer, etc., etc.. Heck if we knew them in person we might not even like them, although I'm sure they were all fine fellows. But they weren't afraid to simply be their flawed selves. Like I am. Flawed. Tragically flawed.
And that's a beautiful thing. Who doesn't like to see the rut of the pack thrive in spite of adversity? Yes, being a flawed person, who dares to achieve anyway, well, that's an inspiring thing. Which makes me suddenly feel a whole lot better about being me and Leading, Loving and Literating. Thank God.
Friday, March 22, 2013
A New Chapter - Excellence
I guess this is a little overdue.
Or perhaps it's right on time.
I leave those decisions to God and to your opinion.
It is a new chapter.
It's hard to articulate exactly. It's just a feeling place. A knowing. A peace of mind, that this is it. No more trying. No more struggling. It all feels like it'll be effortless. Which is not to say without effort because I'm sure there will be lots of long hours and late nights but it'll come with a sense of effortlessness. That is to say, a peace of mind that whatever comes up with simply be dealt with and my path to prosperity of mind, of soul or being (and yes, financial) will arrive unerringly.
Let me digress. Since getting married, aside from working at my nice comfy, secure government job, I've been helping my wife with her business. The more I do the more I was itching to reboot my own aborted blog - www.thecuphalffull.com. And now I've done it. And for the first time in a loooong time, I'm really at peace with it. I feel like I know exactly what I'm doing, which is a lot of stuff I talked about for years but never actually did, but I feel very content to just go ahead and do it now.
So if you've read through this blog you are probably dying to wonder what the hell. You've seen me struggle for years and then basically get married and disappear from this blog. I've been busy building my life, buying a house, establishing a marriage, watching my own kids become adults themselves and helping my wife with her internet business. And getting closer to God.
There's a difference. I will explore this more, but for now all I can say is it's a peace of mind, a surety. Maybe in part because I've seen (and studied) a lot with my wife's internet business there's a much better comfort level in knowing 'how' but I think it's more than that. It's also a sense God's got my back and it's time for me to really stretch out my wings and see how high I can fly.
As I say, I expect challenges but that's fine. It's just another day, another challenge and another victory, and then another and another, etc., etc.
Partly it's a new way of being I've adopted. Just a commitment to excellence - at the deepest level - in my being. Just to exude excellence. Not in some kind of vain way but just in the way I go about my business. How I dress, my physical shape, how I interact with others, etc.
There's an unexpected benefit in that. You know, and I mean, you just know, that once you're operating at that level, consistently, that you start reaping better results faster and more consistently then ever. You start attracting excellence and are attracted to it. You start to float to the top.
I've a long ways to go, but this is the start. So it's fitting that I've chosen now to being posting again.
Come join me at www.thecuphalffull.com let's make this journey together.
Or perhaps it's right on time.
I leave those decisions to God and to your opinion.
It is a new chapter.
It's hard to articulate exactly. It's just a feeling place. A knowing. A peace of mind, that this is it. No more trying. No more struggling. It all feels like it'll be effortless. Which is not to say without effort because I'm sure there will be lots of long hours and late nights but it'll come with a sense of effortlessness. That is to say, a peace of mind that whatever comes up with simply be dealt with and my path to prosperity of mind, of soul or being (and yes, financial) will arrive unerringly.
Let me digress. Since getting married, aside from working at my nice comfy, secure government job, I've been helping my wife with her business. The more I do the more I was itching to reboot my own aborted blog - www.thecuphalffull.com. And now I've done it. And for the first time in a loooong time, I'm really at peace with it. I feel like I know exactly what I'm doing, which is a lot of stuff I talked about for years but never actually did, but I feel very content to just go ahead and do it now.
So if you've read through this blog you are probably dying to wonder what the hell. You've seen me struggle for years and then basically get married and disappear from this blog. I've been busy building my life, buying a house, establishing a marriage, watching my own kids become adults themselves and helping my wife with her internet business. And getting closer to God.
There's a difference. I will explore this more, but for now all I can say is it's a peace of mind, a surety. Maybe in part because I've seen (and studied) a lot with my wife's internet business there's a much better comfort level in knowing 'how' but I think it's more than that. It's also a sense God's got my back and it's time for me to really stretch out my wings and see how high I can fly.
As I say, I expect challenges but that's fine. It's just another day, another challenge and another victory, and then another and another, etc., etc.
Partly it's a new way of being I've adopted. Just a commitment to excellence - at the deepest level - in my being. Just to exude excellence. Not in some kind of vain way but just in the way I go about my business. How I dress, my physical shape, how I interact with others, etc.
There's an unexpected benefit in that. You know, and I mean, you just know, that once you're operating at that level, consistently, that you start reaping better results faster and more consistently then ever. You start attracting excellence and are attracted to it. You start to float to the top.
I've a long ways to go, but this is the start. So it's fitting that I've chosen now to being posting again.
Come join me at www.thecuphalffull.com let's make this journey together.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Investing one's Time Wisely
I'm sitting here at working reflecting on the lessons learned last night at a financial management course offer by our church.
The entire lesson yesterday (part of a 5 week course) was on Vision and they spoke of the importance of investing your money (and time) effectively.
Your God given Vision should be your passion, your purpose, your joy. It should really motivate you. That thing you love to do so you never get tied of the long hours it can sometimes take to make it happen.
That Vision should dictate how your money and time are therefore spent. We all have only 24 hours a day. It's how we use those 24 hours that dictate the life we lead.
That's what's troubling me now. I'm here at work. At a job that has absolutely nothing to do with my God-given purpose.
Why?
Well, to pay the bills of course. My God-given purpose has yet to do that.
But what's the point? What's the point of having a Vision if we're stuck in our little rat-race. The rat-race won't get us ahead. It's not working harder that will benefit you. It's working smarter, at those things that you're best at.
But how do you manage to invest your time in your vision when it doesn't initially (and maybe not for years) pay your bills??
You take the hit. You live at the level you can live at, while you pursue that vision single-mindedly. Robert Kiyosaki lived out of his car with his future-wife for months until they could get their next business off the ground after his previous business had gone bankrupt. He refused to invest his money, or time, elsewhere, except in his own vision.
The nine hours a day I spend working or traveling for work are a huge waste of my potential and not part of my God-given Vision. But can I do without them to invest that same time in my/God's Vision for me?
How do I not? How can I say I trust in God yet put more faith in man's ability to feed me?
But to step out in faith, and leave my job so I can pursue a full-time writing career would put everything my wife and I own in jeopardy.
Is there some middle ground? Some paying work I could do that would be in line with my vision? Perhaps. Perhaps. I will have to explore this further.
The entire lesson yesterday (part of a 5 week course) was on Vision and they spoke of the importance of investing your money (and time) effectively.
Your God given Vision should be your passion, your purpose, your joy. It should really motivate you. That thing you love to do so you never get tied of the long hours it can sometimes take to make it happen.
That Vision should dictate how your money and time are therefore spent. We all have only 24 hours a day. It's how we use those 24 hours that dictate the life we lead.
That's what's troubling me now. I'm here at work. At a job that has absolutely nothing to do with my God-given purpose.
Why?
Well, to pay the bills of course. My God-given purpose has yet to do that.
But what's the point? What's the point of having a Vision if we're stuck in our little rat-race. The rat-race won't get us ahead. It's not working harder that will benefit you. It's working smarter, at those things that you're best at.
But how do you manage to invest your time in your vision when it doesn't initially (and maybe not for years) pay your bills??
You take the hit. You live at the level you can live at, while you pursue that vision single-mindedly. Robert Kiyosaki lived out of his car with his future-wife for months until they could get their next business off the ground after his previous business had gone bankrupt. He refused to invest his money, or time, elsewhere, except in his own vision.
The nine hours a day I spend working or traveling for work are a huge waste of my potential and not part of my God-given Vision. But can I do without them to invest that same time in my/God's Vision for me?
How do I not? How can I say I trust in God yet put more faith in man's ability to feed me?
But to step out in faith, and leave my job so I can pursue a full-time writing career would put everything my wife and I own in jeopardy.
Is there some middle ground? Some paying work I could do that would be in line with my vision? Perhaps. Perhaps. I will have to explore this further.
Monday, September 24, 2012
Life is moving along
It's been a while since my last post so there's quite a bit to catch up on.
Overall life is great. OMG, in context of where I was last year, life is simply marvelous.
My marriage is wonderful and improving all the time. I cannot thank God enough for guiding me to my wife, and vice versa, because left to our own devices, we never would have gotten together but she is indeed such a blessing in my life, and I hope, I am in turn to hers.
There are of course rough patches, but we navigate our way through them, mostly just through open and honest communication.
Right now I think the most challenging thing in the marriage, is me. I'm still tied up in my own self-limiting beliefs (yes, I know I write an empowerment blog) and so is she, but she'd love to be able to look at me and be inspired every day, but I'm not that much of an inspiration on a lot of days. However, I do strive on.
Church is playing an increasingly important part in my life (OMG, like, so old!) as I take increasing comfort in trusting in God and continually see God come through when you trust in Him and follow His plan (not your plan).
I'm back to writing every day, currently workshoping my book with other writers. Feedback is encouraging although, apparently, I'm long winded. (as readers of this blog already know)
Family life is great. Blessed with three wonderful souls to help sheppard, all of whom are doing excellent in their own regards.
Our living situation is vastly improved from a year ago as well, but with that improvement comes new financial realities that we are adjusting too. Currently looking for more opportunities to create additional income. :)
I'll leave it at that for now, least I become long winded.
All the best,
P
Overall life is great. OMG, in context of where I was last year, life is simply marvelous.
My marriage is wonderful and improving all the time. I cannot thank God enough for guiding me to my wife, and vice versa, because left to our own devices, we never would have gotten together but she is indeed such a blessing in my life, and I hope, I am in turn to hers.
There are of course rough patches, but we navigate our way through them, mostly just through open and honest communication.
Right now I think the most challenging thing in the marriage, is me. I'm still tied up in my own self-limiting beliefs (yes, I know I write an empowerment blog) and so is she, but she'd love to be able to look at me and be inspired every day, but I'm not that much of an inspiration on a lot of days. However, I do strive on.
Church is playing an increasingly important part in my life (OMG, like, so old!) as I take increasing comfort in trusting in God and continually see God come through when you trust in Him and follow His plan (not your plan).
I'm back to writing every day, currently workshoping my book with other writers. Feedback is encouraging although, apparently, I'm long winded. (as readers of this blog already know)
Family life is great. Blessed with three wonderful souls to help sheppard, all of whom are doing excellent in their own regards.
Our living situation is vastly improved from a year ago as well, but with that improvement comes new financial realities that we are adjusting too. Currently looking for more opportunities to create additional income. :)
I'll leave it at that for now, least I become long winded.
All the best,
P
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
What a Difference a Year can Make
I am in awe.
I look at my life today, and back to even one year ago and the diffence - is immense.
I am in a place now, that I couldn't have thought possible just twelve months ago.
God is amazing. He does listen. He does deliver. To those that walk in real faith.
Last year I was in a place of renewal. I was disgusted with my life and knew it had to change. It had simply become too unbareable to remain stuck in the place I was in life any longer. I had made an absolute commitment to change, to grow, to transend my nature or die.
I hired Canfield Coaching, I did all the right things, all the planning, all the affirmations, all the self-development work, reported back, talked regularly to my coach. Nothing. I did learn a few things about myself, but I didn't change.
In the end, I gave up and ask God to do for me what I could not do for myself.
Since then, my life has changed. I am now happily married instead of frustratingly single. I am living in a beautiful home in a nice part of town, instead of a crappy junior one bedroom apartment in the bad side of town. Where before I had debt, now I am debt-free (sans mortgage) and were able to save enough to get our current house. While I still remain in the same job, I am focused on building my writing career and in action. I have peace in my heart, that despite current appearences, success is assured, because I have a faithful God.
I am more involved in helping others and less involved in distracting myself - although I have a long ways to go still.
I wake up, and I'm grateful for my life. I'm grateful for my wife. Grateful for my kids. I'm grateful for my new home. I'm glad to be alive and living, instead of struggling to find a reason to live.
There is a certain, je ne sais quoi, that I can't put my finger on, a feeling I can't describe, a difference in me, that has premeated my life which I can't adequately describe.
It is faith. Faith that no matter what's happening, I am not alone. God is with me and working on my behalf. That He wants me to have everything, through Him and that as long as I continue to walk in that authority, that things will somehow, work themselves out. I have peace.
We just moved into a new house. Our expenses have greatly increased. Do I know how we're going to manage financially? No I do not. But I know we will. I am working on leaving my current job and developing a livlihood - a lucrative livlihood - writing. Do I know how? No I do not. I haven't a clue. But I'm working on it nevertheless, undeterred by the fact that I don't know how. It doesn't matter. I have faith that career is manifasting even now. Sometimes the way ahead swings into view - and it's overwhelming. So much I have to learn, so much to do! At such times I find myself wanting to fall into old patterns; to distract myself, to get out of overwhelm. Then I catch myself, turn it over to God and just continue to ask Him to do for me what I cannot do for myself. Peace returns and I continue.
Just like my marriage and now my house has manifasted, so too will my lucrative writing career. I no longer question that fact. I simply know it. I have faith. I cannot tell you how, or when or why, just that it is going to happen. It is the next step in my evolution. I could not have told you how I would have gotten to where I am today from where I was last year. I just knew I had to be somewhere different. Now I have faith and in that faith, I have peace. In that peace, I have perserverence. In that perserverence, I have prosperity.
I look at my life today, and back to even one year ago and the diffence - is immense.
I am in a place now, that I couldn't have thought possible just twelve months ago.
God is amazing. He does listen. He does deliver. To those that walk in real faith.
Last year I was in a place of renewal. I was disgusted with my life and knew it had to change. It had simply become too unbareable to remain stuck in the place I was in life any longer. I had made an absolute commitment to change, to grow, to transend my nature or die.
I hired Canfield Coaching, I did all the right things, all the planning, all the affirmations, all the self-development work, reported back, talked regularly to my coach. Nothing. I did learn a few things about myself, but I didn't change.
In the end, I gave up and ask God to do for me what I could not do for myself.
Since then, my life has changed. I am now happily married instead of frustratingly single. I am living in a beautiful home in a nice part of town, instead of a crappy junior one bedroom apartment in the bad side of town. Where before I had debt, now I am debt-free (sans mortgage) and were able to save enough to get our current house. While I still remain in the same job, I am focused on building my writing career and in action. I have peace in my heart, that despite current appearences, success is assured, because I have a faithful God.
I am more involved in helping others and less involved in distracting myself - although I have a long ways to go still.
I wake up, and I'm grateful for my life. I'm grateful for my wife. Grateful for my kids. I'm grateful for my new home. I'm glad to be alive and living, instead of struggling to find a reason to live.
There is a certain, je ne sais quoi, that I can't put my finger on, a feeling I can't describe, a difference in me, that has premeated my life which I can't adequately describe.
It is faith. Faith that no matter what's happening, I am not alone. God is with me and working on my behalf. That He wants me to have everything, through Him and that as long as I continue to walk in that authority, that things will somehow, work themselves out. I have peace.
We just moved into a new house. Our expenses have greatly increased. Do I know how we're going to manage financially? No I do not. But I know we will. I am working on leaving my current job and developing a livlihood - a lucrative livlihood - writing. Do I know how? No I do not. I haven't a clue. But I'm working on it nevertheless, undeterred by the fact that I don't know how. It doesn't matter. I have faith that career is manifasting even now. Sometimes the way ahead swings into view - and it's overwhelming. So much I have to learn, so much to do! At such times I find myself wanting to fall into old patterns; to distract myself, to get out of overwhelm. Then I catch myself, turn it over to God and just continue to ask Him to do for me what I cannot do for myself. Peace returns and I continue.
Just like my marriage and now my house has manifasted, so too will my lucrative writing career. I no longer question that fact. I simply know it. I have faith. I cannot tell you how, or when or why, just that it is going to happen. It is the next step in my evolution. I could not have told you how I would have gotten to where I am today from where I was last year. I just knew I had to be somewhere different. Now I have faith and in that faith, I have peace. In that peace, I have perserverence. In that perserverence, I have prosperity.
Moving on Up!
It's been a while since I last posted. I had decided a while back that not to continue blogging until I found some way to earn money from it. However, that was related to my other site more than this one.
I've been quite busy since getting married as being married has filled my life up much more than before (and I used to complain about how busy it was before). That's not an excuse though. I just put blogging behind me and now I'm feeling called back to it.
Lots has happened so let's recap:
We're buying a house!!
Yep, we've pooled our life savings and bought a lovely house in uptown Toronto, with all new furniture to boot. This is a really great way to begin our marriage in a place that's 'Ours' and with furniture that's all 'Ours' as opposed to her's and mine with some old memories attached.
The housing market it Toronto has been insane, with demand far out pacing supply. As a result every house was a bidding war. Regardless, we put our faith in the Lord and even went so far as to give notice on our apartment. However, we were continually outbid (by 30K!) on every house we were interested in. It was insane. Our travel agent was wonderful and a very nice lady but I felt in my spirit she wasn't the right one for the job. We needed someone who wouldn't be 'nice' but could close! It takes a different type of person to out-negociate a house, especially when you don't have the highest bid. In fact our agent assured us doing so simply wasn't possible.
Fortunately, I knew better and knew just the man for the job. Sure enough, through some tough and aggressive negociations, he closed the very next house despite multiple offers and there being a higher bidder. He even managed to get all the furniture included and kept the price WELL within our range.
The house is perfect for our needs, in fact, it's the best suited house for our family needs we've seen. We couldn't be happier.
We put our faith in the Lord and despite many set-backs and uncertainty, we didn't waiver in that faith. God delivered and in spades.
I've been quite busy since getting married as being married has filled my life up much more than before (and I used to complain about how busy it was before). That's not an excuse though. I just put blogging behind me and now I'm feeling called back to it.
Lots has happened so let's recap:
We're buying a house!!
Yep, we've pooled our life savings and bought a lovely house in uptown Toronto, with all new furniture to boot. This is a really great way to begin our marriage in a place that's 'Ours' and with furniture that's all 'Ours' as opposed to her's and mine with some old memories attached.
The housing market it Toronto has been insane, with demand far out pacing supply. As a result every house was a bidding war. Regardless, we put our faith in the Lord and even went so far as to give notice on our apartment. However, we were continually outbid (by 30K!) on every house we were interested in. It was insane. Our travel agent was wonderful and a very nice lady but I felt in my spirit she wasn't the right one for the job. We needed someone who wouldn't be 'nice' but could close! It takes a different type of person to out-negociate a house, especially when you don't have the highest bid. In fact our agent assured us doing so simply wasn't possible.
Fortunately, I knew better and knew just the man for the job. Sure enough, through some tough and aggressive negociations, he closed the very next house despite multiple offers and there being a higher bidder. He even managed to get all the furniture included and kept the price WELL within our range.
The house is perfect for our needs, in fact, it's the best suited house for our family needs we've seen. We couldn't be happier.
We put our faith in the Lord and despite many set-backs and uncertainty, we didn't waiver in that faith. God delivered and in spades.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
The Truth HURTS
Finally, after all these years, years of self-development books, audio series, seminars, programs, coaching... Finally I understand why I do some of the things I do.
A let me tell you, the truth hurts.
My wife has been listening to podcasts from Jeffery Combs of Golden Mastermind Training for our MLM business - Isagenix.
I've been catching some of them and one in particular resonated. Enough I signed up for his free series on the subject. That resonated even more so I ended up buying his whole program. Listening to him talk is like taking the worst tasting medicine in the word. It tastes so bad it makes you want to cry but you know it's good for you, so you take it and take some more, no matter how bitter it gets.
The startling truth I've been forced to confront is that I have suffered from chronic procrastination.
I say startling, because I have never identified myself as a procrastinator and neither has anyone else. I've asked my friends and family for honest feedback about my character defects many times, procrastination was never amoung the list of faults. To be honest, if it was, I'd have denied it. Look at all the books I've written (unpublished), all the blogs I've created (unprofitable), my MLM business (also unprofitable) plus I could point to a dozen other things. To be sure I've always kept myself busy - but rarely productive.
Jeff Combs says, and I agree, no one is a 'procrastinator'. We all procrastinate over isolated areas where we feel anxious over the outcome of completing a set course of action. Which is true. However some people have self defeating habits/traits and I have been one.
Jeff breaks procrastinators down into six personality types. Few people fit any one type exactly, most people have traits of several and I certainly fit into the latter.
I won't go into specifics for all but will touch on the ones that relate to me and have explain some of my own behaviour to me.
The 'Big Hat, No Cattle' type tends to make big plans, but fail to develop the necessary traits to fulfill those plans. They have a sense of entitlement, that they are so talented, that the world will see their ability and all their lofty goals will be achieved as a result. We look for a lot of short-cuts, not wanting to put in the long, (boring) work to achieve the goal, the way 'average' people do it. No we're better than that, more talented, smarter, more creative - so we think. We have something to prove, having come from homes where we felt the need to prove ourselves. Perhaps one or both parents rejected us, or we were made to feel we were never good enough somehow. Deep inside, we don't feel worthy. So we set impossible goals, have fuzzy plans, and when we fall short, it's okay because we have an even better idea and goal to work on.
In the end it's all a form of procrastinating.
Now I understand why I can get an agent interested in my books - a point when I should be getting really excited but instead lose all interest. It's because I don't have a goal to write a book. I don't have a goal to write a book and get it published. No, I have a goal to write a best-selling novel on the order of Harry Potter, that's going to win me a movie deal, a sequel, make me world famous and earn me at least twenty-five million in revenue. Seriously, I have that written out.
So what happens if I get it published? It's suddenly beyond my control. Aside from marketing the heck out of it, I can't 'make' it a best-seller. I can't ensure a movie deal will happen. I might only ever make $25,000.00. Normally getting a book published and adding 25 grand to your bank account would be considered a 'win', but because my goals are so lofty (and I don't want to build my way up to best seller status over a series of books) that would be considered a massive failure. It would be heart-breaking.
Am I saying it's not possible to hit one out of the park on the first try at bat? No, of course it's possible. It happened to JK Rowling (Harry Potter) and Stephen King (Carrie) - although both had a long string of rejections first. God could manifast that. It could happen, certainly. But it's a control issue. At some point it's out of my control and into God's.
Nor would it happen. I am talented but that's still no excuse for not diligently perfecting my craft. I could and should be taking lessons, and writing day in and day out, working with other writers to perfect my craft. I have done all that at times but like everything in my life, there's no long term consistancy. Only consistancy up to the point where what I'm doing doesn't have to actually be tested and live up to the ridiculous goals I've set.
It's what we do consistantly that determine who we are.
I want quick success. I don't want to work eight years for it. It's true. Waiting eight years seems like an eternity to me. Truth is, I've wasted twenty bouncing from one (admitted great) idea to the next and never getting anywhere at all. If I'd seen this pattern ten years ago, I don't doubt I would be enjoying a very successful career right now.
Instead I keep setting multiple lofty goals, planning poorly, not knowing how to achieve those ridiculous goals, not working diligently to develop the long term skillsets I need and wasting time instead, feel bad, then feel the need to stuff those emotions of disappointment - wasting more time or instead I work diligently then losing interest just when I'm close to succeeding.
There are many other ways I procrastinate as well I'm learning.
I intellectualize every gawd-darn thing. I write passionately and easily but can't get two words out of my mouth without mental editting. I'm afraid I'll sound stupid or say the 'wrong' thing. So I procrastinate on what to say. Often this leads me to saying nothing and seeing aloof. Or I feel the need to 'add value' to whatever someone else is saying by putting my own (and better!) spin on it. I don't need to do that. I can just let someone have their moment.
I also rebel. I don't want to conform to other's expectations, even when not doing so (for the sake of not doing so) is counter-productive to me. It's more important to be 'right' than to be productive. In the end it's just another way to procrastinate and not have to test myself.
I never realized procrastination could take on so many forms and be so hidden in other acts. It's not surprising that others didn't identify it in me either but once I mention it, they do. Fact is, I have the lack of results to prove it. lol... sigh.
However this discovery is liberating. I now have a choice to not continue to follow those patterns. I can set smaller goals (that lead to the bigger one) and focus on the daily actions and habits that achieve those. I can talk from the heart and not the head. I can let my ego go and do what makes the best long term sense, whether that's doing something someone else's way, or my own. I can stop trying to mentally control every situation and just relax and be in the moment. In the now. Trusting my self and my higher power (holy spirit) to do the right thing without psychoanalyzing myself even moment of the day. I can take more pleasure in small accomplishments, knowing the compound interest of consistant small victories is what makes for a 'break-through', 'over-night' success. I don't have to be perfect. I don't have to be better than everyone else. I can simple work to be MY best and that alone would be exceptional.
If any of this has resonated with you, please check out Jeff Combs 'Confessions of a Recovering Procrastinator' series for yourself at : http://goldenmastermind.com/
A let me tell you, the truth hurts.
My wife has been listening to podcasts from Jeffery Combs of Golden Mastermind Training for our MLM business - Isagenix.
I've been catching some of them and one in particular resonated. Enough I signed up for his free series on the subject. That resonated even more so I ended up buying his whole program. Listening to him talk is like taking the worst tasting medicine in the word. It tastes so bad it makes you want to cry but you know it's good for you, so you take it and take some more, no matter how bitter it gets.
The startling truth I've been forced to confront is that I have suffered from chronic procrastination.
I say startling, because I have never identified myself as a procrastinator and neither has anyone else. I've asked my friends and family for honest feedback about my character defects many times, procrastination was never amoung the list of faults. To be honest, if it was, I'd have denied it. Look at all the books I've written (unpublished), all the blogs I've created (unprofitable), my MLM business (also unprofitable) plus I could point to a dozen other things. To be sure I've always kept myself busy - but rarely productive.
Jeff Combs says, and I agree, no one is a 'procrastinator'. We all procrastinate over isolated areas where we feel anxious over the outcome of completing a set course of action. Which is true. However some people have self defeating habits/traits and I have been one.
Jeff breaks procrastinators down into six personality types. Few people fit any one type exactly, most people have traits of several and I certainly fit into the latter.
I won't go into specifics for all but will touch on the ones that relate to me and have explain some of my own behaviour to me.
The 'Big Hat, No Cattle' type tends to make big plans, but fail to develop the necessary traits to fulfill those plans. They have a sense of entitlement, that they are so talented, that the world will see their ability and all their lofty goals will be achieved as a result. We look for a lot of short-cuts, not wanting to put in the long, (boring) work to achieve the goal, the way 'average' people do it. No we're better than that, more talented, smarter, more creative - so we think. We have something to prove, having come from homes where we felt the need to prove ourselves. Perhaps one or both parents rejected us, or we were made to feel we were never good enough somehow. Deep inside, we don't feel worthy. So we set impossible goals, have fuzzy plans, and when we fall short, it's okay because we have an even better idea and goal to work on.
In the end it's all a form of procrastinating.
Now I understand why I can get an agent interested in my books - a point when I should be getting really excited but instead lose all interest. It's because I don't have a goal to write a book. I don't have a goal to write a book and get it published. No, I have a goal to write a best-selling novel on the order of Harry Potter, that's going to win me a movie deal, a sequel, make me world famous and earn me at least twenty-five million in revenue. Seriously, I have that written out.
So what happens if I get it published? It's suddenly beyond my control. Aside from marketing the heck out of it, I can't 'make' it a best-seller. I can't ensure a movie deal will happen. I might only ever make $25,000.00. Normally getting a book published and adding 25 grand to your bank account would be considered a 'win', but because my goals are so lofty (and I don't want to build my way up to best seller status over a series of books) that would be considered a massive failure. It would be heart-breaking.
Am I saying it's not possible to hit one out of the park on the first try at bat? No, of course it's possible. It happened to JK Rowling (Harry Potter) and Stephen King (Carrie) - although both had a long string of rejections first. God could manifast that. It could happen, certainly. But it's a control issue. At some point it's out of my control and into God's.
Nor would it happen. I am talented but that's still no excuse for not diligently perfecting my craft. I could and should be taking lessons, and writing day in and day out, working with other writers to perfect my craft. I have done all that at times but like everything in my life, there's no long term consistancy. Only consistancy up to the point where what I'm doing doesn't have to actually be tested and live up to the ridiculous goals I've set.
It's what we do consistantly that determine who we are.
I want quick success. I don't want to work eight years for it. It's true. Waiting eight years seems like an eternity to me. Truth is, I've wasted twenty bouncing from one (admitted great) idea to the next and never getting anywhere at all. If I'd seen this pattern ten years ago, I don't doubt I would be enjoying a very successful career right now.
Instead I keep setting multiple lofty goals, planning poorly, not knowing how to achieve those ridiculous goals, not working diligently to develop the long term skillsets I need and wasting time instead, feel bad, then feel the need to stuff those emotions of disappointment - wasting more time or instead I work diligently then losing interest just when I'm close to succeeding.
There are many other ways I procrastinate as well I'm learning.
I intellectualize every gawd-darn thing. I write passionately and easily but can't get two words out of my mouth without mental editting. I'm afraid I'll sound stupid or say the 'wrong' thing. So I procrastinate on what to say. Often this leads me to saying nothing and seeing aloof. Or I feel the need to 'add value' to whatever someone else is saying by putting my own (and better!) spin on it. I don't need to do that. I can just let someone have their moment.
I also rebel. I don't want to conform to other's expectations, even when not doing so (for the sake of not doing so) is counter-productive to me. It's more important to be 'right' than to be productive. In the end it's just another way to procrastinate and not have to test myself.
I never realized procrastination could take on so many forms and be so hidden in other acts. It's not surprising that others didn't identify it in me either but once I mention it, they do. Fact is, I have the lack of results to prove it. lol... sigh.
However this discovery is liberating. I now have a choice to not continue to follow those patterns. I can set smaller goals (that lead to the bigger one) and focus on the daily actions and habits that achieve those. I can talk from the heart and not the head. I can let my ego go and do what makes the best long term sense, whether that's doing something someone else's way, or my own. I can stop trying to mentally control every situation and just relax and be in the moment. In the now. Trusting my self and my higher power (holy spirit) to do the right thing without psychoanalyzing myself even moment of the day. I can take more pleasure in small accomplishments, knowing the compound interest of consistant small victories is what makes for a 'break-through', 'over-night' success. I don't have to be perfect. I don't have to be better than everyone else. I can simple work to be MY best and that alone would be exceptional.
If any of this has resonated with you, please check out Jeff Combs 'Confessions of a Recovering Procrastinator' series for yourself at : http://goldenmastermind.com/
Friday, February 17, 2012
Doing what it takes
Ever had one of those days where a theme or point keeps recurring. For my wife and I we generally accept those as God's way of confirming whatever He's initially been telling us.
Yesterday was one of those days.
The point, which came up in conversations, facebook posts, over-heard conversations, and other means was this: If you really want to change the standard of living you're enjoying you have to be willing to extend yourself to do more, be more, take more risk. You can't keep doing what you're doing now and expect to get a new result. You have to play at a whole new level. And that - comes with sacrifice. So what and how much are you willing to scarifice in order to achieve your goals?
My wife and I are currently in the last stages of developing our ten and one year plans. Looking at the goals I have set for myself, it's clear that I am going to have to do a whole lot of stuff I haven't done before. I have to learn new skills, take all sorts of unprecidented actions (for me), and invest a significant amount of time in doing so. I also have to adhere to a high level of excellence and giving more than expected if I hope to rise above the crowd.
To put it simply, if I want to donate a minimum two hours a day to work on my new ventures - that time has to come from somewhere.
Problem is I already feel I don't have any spare time. It's been weeks since I've even gotten to play on my beloved Wii (actually, I did play for 90 minutes the other day when I couldn't sleep at 4am but that's been it). Any time I take to put towards achieving my goals will without question be taken directly from time with my family. Which is a bit of a conflict because developing stronger family and marriage ties is one of my major goals.
Also, how badly do I want to achieve these goals? It's all well and good to say 'I want X amount of money in X time.' But what are you going to do to achieve that? Are you willing to invest the time, the energy and the effort - all of course without any guarantee of initial success.
Now some might say, 'You don't need to work harder, just 'intend it', use 'Law of Attraction.'' Or God will provide, just ask in prayer and have faith. To the latter, I have always found that God rewards those that walk in faith - not sit in faith. IE: Your actions have to be congruent with what you're asking for. If you want to earn an extra million, then you have to start acting and being like someone who's worth a million and that included doing actions that will reasonally produce millions. God will handle the details and unseen opportunities from there.
For those 'Law of Attraction' folks, it's the same deal. BE that which you seek to attract. BE a vibrational match. Sure Jack Canfield used 'Law of Attraction' but if you've ever heard him talk about Chicken Soup for the Soul in other interviews, you know he and Mark Victor Hanson busted their asses for a couple years to get that book noticed. It didn't just 'magically' and effortlessly happen like 'The Secret' makes it seem.
Generally that's always the case. Virtually all 'overnight' sensations didn't have overnight success. They earned it through years of relentless effort. By striving their very best to always be the very best until the world finally noticed.
Personally, it's all God to me, it's just a different way of looking at it. Except being a Christian, God speaks to me (at times) and I strive to obey and that works a lot better than trying to get the Universe to obey me (and missing opportunity that's being provided because it didn't match my expectation). God know's my intent, and prepares the way, but not when it's not in my best interest or I'm not ready. In the latter case, he works on me until I am. At any rate, I digress....
I don't think it's a question of 'IF' I can achieve the lofty goals I set. I believe it. It's hard to imagine, but I've seen enough 'miracles' to not question that a way will present itself if I present myself as ready.
It's a matter of 'WILL I'? Am I willing to push myself that hard, that long for that end? Does it mean enough to me to sacrifice time with my family and my time alone? Does the end justify the means?
The reason most people aren't rich is not because they can't be. It's because they simply aren't willing to take the necessary actions to become rich. It's like bodybuilding. Anyone (barring medical reasons) could be a bodybuilder with immense arms and chest (respective to their sex) but how many of us are? Very few. Why? Because we can't be bothered. We don't precieve the value of being that muscular to the effort required to get there. Same thing with bodybuilding their finances. It's possible, but we don't preceive the value of being that rich as worth the effort to get there. If you did, then you'd be there (or well on your way) already. There's a lot of reasons for us to not see that value equation, but that's another topic.
If I'm rambling here it's because I'm in part writting this to help me sort this out in my own head.
I'm realizing that I've got to change to nature of my goals. Currently I'm saying I want to earn $250,000.00 by helping people with exceptional online health or wellness advice and materials but money is not a major draw for me. I need to flip it around, I'm going to help over 100,000 people with online materials or programs earning at least a quarter million dollars in the process. The money is more of a bonus and a measurement than a goal in and of itself. I'm more motivated to help others than to help myself.
Another thought rambling around in my head is that when I was a single parent, I largely put my life and ambitions on hold and put seeing about my child first. What I felt was the most alteristic thing to do. However, since then I dated a lawyer who, as a single parent of two, put herself through law school. While she envied the time I was able to spend with my kids, I marvelled at how well her kids came out with only a part-time mom. If they'd suffered it wasn't evident and they certainly weren't suffering now that she was a partner at a law firm. Yes, she was still away from home a lot and no it didn't matter. They totally respected her, as my son did me. It made me totally rethink my life and I swore to do things differently should I ever be in the same situation.
Now I have a family and young son again, so why am I worried about not spending time with them? My wife already noted that they got along just fine before I entered their lives. Perhaps it's just easier for me to play the role I know. But doing so will lead to vastly unsatisfactory results. So what's my hesistation to embracing the effort necessary to succeed at my goals? Failing? It really doesn't matter if I fall short, the effort would make me a better person. It wouldn't be the first goal I fell short on, nor the first I accomplished (made last year's!). Succeeding? Hmmm.. succeeding would require me to be living a very different life than I do now. That is outside my comfort zone. But like hell I want to be a slave to my comfort zone. Getting out of my comfort zone is reason enough to 'just do it'.
Having gotten all my random thoughts nailed down this way helps paint a different picture. Not making the needed sacrifices and doing my best to achieve my goals will lead to a lot of pain. I cannot be in this same spot next year and be happy. There is really nothing to lose in trying. My wife and family will totally support me. Achieving these goals I've set would give me a huge feeling of satisfaction and in fact bring a lot of joy to others, my family included. It's time to start pumping up some 'muscles'. :)
And making some time for my Wii. Gotta have a little fun time.
Looking forward to it!
Yesterday was one of those days.
The point, which came up in conversations, facebook posts, over-heard conversations, and other means was this: If you really want to change the standard of living you're enjoying you have to be willing to extend yourself to do more, be more, take more risk. You can't keep doing what you're doing now and expect to get a new result. You have to play at a whole new level. And that - comes with sacrifice. So what and how much are you willing to scarifice in order to achieve your goals?
My wife and I are currently in the last stages of developing our ten and one year plans. Looking at the goals I have set for myself, it's clear that I am going to have to do a whole lot of stuff I haven't done before. I have to learn new skills, take all sorts of unprecidented actions (for me), and invest a significant amount of time in doing so. I also have to adhere to a high level of excellence and giving more than expected if I hope to rise above the crowd.
To put it simply, if I want to donate a minimum two hours a day to work on my new ventures - that time has to come from somewhere.
Problem is I already feel I don't have any spare time. It's been weeks since I've even gotten to play on my beloved Wii (actually, I did play for 90 minutes the other day when I couldn't sleep at 4am but that's been it). Any time I take to put towards achieving my goals will without question be taken directly from time with my family. Which is a bit of a conflict because developing stronger family and marriage ties is one of my major goals.
Also, how badly do I want to achieve these goals? It's all well and good to say 'I want X amount of money in X time.' But what are you going to do to achieve that? Are you willing to invest the time, the energy and the effort - all of course without any guarantee of initial success.
Now some might say, 'You don't need to work harder, just 'intend it', use 'Law of Attraction.'' Or God will provide, just ask in prayer and have faith. To the latter, I have always found that God rewards those that walk in faith - not sit in faith. IE: Your actions have to be congruent with what you're asking for. If you want to earn an extra million, then you have to start acting and being like someone who's worth a million and that included doing actions that will reasonally produce millions. God will handle the details and unseen opportunities from there.
For those 'Law of Attraction' folks, it's the same deal. BE that which you seek to attract. BE a vibrational match. Sure Jack Canfield used 'Law of Attraction' but if you've ever heard him talk about Chicken Soup for the Soul in other interviews, you know he and Mark Victor Hanson busted their asses for a couple years to get that book noticed. It didn't just 'magically' and effortlessly happen like 'The Secret' makes it seem.
Generally that's always the case. Virtually all 'overnight' sensations didn't have overnight success. They earned it through years of relentless effort. By striving their very best to always be the very best until the world finally noticed.
Personally, it's all God to me, it's just a different way of looking at it. Except being a Christian, God speaks to me (at times) and I strive to obey and that works a lot better than trying to get the Universe to obey me (and missing opportunity that's being provided because it didn't match my expectation). God know's my intent, and prepares the way, but not when it's not in my best interest or I'm not ready. In the latter case, he works on me until I am. At any rate, I digress....
I don't think it's a question of 'IF' I can achieve the lofty goals I set. I believe it. It's hard to imagine, but I've seen enough 'miracles' to not question that a way will present itself if I present myself as ready.
It's a matter of 'WILL I'? Am I willing to push myself that hard, that long for that end? Does it mean enough to me to sacrifice time with my family and my time alone? Does the end justify the means?
The reason most people aren't rich is not because they can't be. It's because they simply aren't willing to take the necessary actions to become rich. It's like bodybuilding. Anyone (barring medical reasons) could be a bodybuilder with immense arms and chest (respective to their sex) but how many of us are? Very few. Why? Because we can't be bothered. We don't precieve the value of being that muscular to the effort required to get there. Same thing with bodybuilding their finances. It's possible, but we don't preceive the value of being that rich as worth the effort to get there. If you did, then you'd be there (or well on your way) already. There's a lot of reasons for us to not see that value equation, but that's another topic.
If I'm rambling here it's because I'm in part writting this to help me sort this out in my own head.
I'm realizing that I've got to change to nature of my goals. Currently I'm saying I want to earn $250,000.00 by helping people with exceptional online health or wellness advice and materials but money is not a major draw for me. I need to flip it around, I'm going to help over 100,000 people with online materials or programs earning at least a quarter million dollars in the process. The money is more of a bonus and a measurement than a goal in and of itself. I'm more motivated to help others than to help myself.
Another thought rambling around in my head is that when I was a single parent, I largely put my life and ambitions on hold and put seeing about my child first. What I felt was the most alteristic thing to do. However, since then I dated a lawyer who, as a single parent of two, put herself through law school. While she envied the time I was able to spend with my kids, I marvelled at how well her kids came out with only a part-time mom. If they'd suffered it wasn't evident and they certainly weren't suffering now that she was a partner at a law firm. Yes, she was still away from home a lot and no it didn't matter. They totally respected her, as my son did me. It made me totally rethink my life and I swore to do things differently should I ever be in the same situation.
Now I have a family and young son again, so why am I worried about not spending time with them? My wife already noted that they got along just fine before I entered their lives. Perhaps it's just easier for me to play the role I know. But doing so will lead to vastly unsatisfactory results. So what's my hesistation to embracing the effort necessary to succeed at my goals? Failing? It really doesn't matter if I fall short, the effort would make me a better person. It wouldn't be the first goal I fell short on, nor the first I accomplished (made last year's!). Succeeding? Hmmm.. succeeding would require me to be living a very different life than I do now. That is outside my comfort zone. But like hell I want to be a slave to my comfort zone. Getting out of my comfort zone is reason enough to 'just do it'.
Having gotten all my random thoughts nailed down this way helps paint a different picture. Not making the needed sacrifices and doing my best to achieve my goals will lead to a lot of pain. I cannot be in this same spot next year and be happy. There is really nothing to lose in trying. My wife and family will totally support me. Achieving these goals I've set would give me a huge feeling of satisfaction and in fact bring a lot of joy to others, my family included. It's time to start pumping up some 'muscles'. :)
And making some time for my Wii. Gotta have a little fun time.
Looking forward to it!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Reposts of Wedding Blog: From the Heart
Love is Patient
Author: The Bible: 1 Corinthians 13:4
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
Author: The Bible: 1 Corinthians 13:4
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
Reposts of Wedding Blog: Wedding Events
Wedding Ceremony
Date/Time: Start: Saturday, December 17th 2011 3:30 p.m.
Finish: 4:00 p.m.
Venue: Rhema Christian Ministries
40 Carl Hall Drive
Downsview Park
Toronto
Ontario
Get directions on Google Maps™ mapping service
Dress Code: Cocktail
Information: www.rhemaonline.com
Coctail Reception
Date/Time: Start: Saturday, December 17th 2011 4:30 p.m.
Finish: 5:30 p.m.
Venue: Chefydrew's International Cuisine
255 Dundas Street East
Toronto
Ontario
Get directions on Google Maps™ mapping service
Dress Code: Cocktail
Information: http://www.chefydrews.com
Wedding Reception with Friends and Family
Date/Time: Start: Saturday, December 17th 2011 5:30 p.m.
Finish: 11:30 p.m.
Venue: Chefydrew's International Cuisine
255 Dundas Street East
Toronto
Ontario
Get directions on Google Maps™ mapping service
Dress Code: Cocktail
Information: http://www.chefydrews.com
Old Year's Open House
Date/Time: Saturday, December 31st 2011 12:00 p.m.
Venue: Our Home
901-100 Merton Street
Toronto
Ontario
M4s 3G1
Get directions on Google Maps™ mapping service
Tel: 416-482-3699
Dress Code: Casual
Date/Time: Start: Saturday, December 17th 2011 3:30 p.m.
Finish: 4:00 p.m.
Venue: Rhema Christian Ministries
40 Carl Hall Drive
Downsview Park
Toronto
Ontario
Get directions on Google Maps™ mapping service
Dress Code: Cocktail
Information: www.rhemaonline.com
Coctail Reception
Date/Time: Start: Saturday, December 17th 2011 4:30 p.m.
Finish: 5:30 p.m.
Venue: Chefydrew's International Cuisine
255 Dundas Street East
Toronto
Ontario
Get directions on Google Maps™ mapping service
Dress Code: Cocktail
Information: http://www.chefydrews.com
Wedding Reception with Friends and Family
Date/Time: Start: Saturday, December 17th 2011 5:30 p.m.
Finish: 11:30 p.m.
Venue: Chefydrew's International Cuisine
255 Dundas Street East
Toronto
Ontario
Get directions on Google Maps™ mapping service
Dress Code: Cocktail
Information: http://www.chefydrews.com
Old Year's Open House
Date/Time: Saturday, December 31st 2011 12:00 p.m.
Venue: Our Home
901-100 Merton Street
Toronto
Ontario
M4s 3G1
Get directions on Google Maps™ mapping service
Tel: 416-482-3699
Dress Code: Casual
Reposts of Wedding Blog: The Proposal
Cathy's Version
I was totally blown away by Preston's proposal. I did not expect it at all
Preston's Version
The victim: Cathy Morenzie
The perpetrator: Preston Squire
The setting: Oro Restaurant
The moment: Friday, November 4th around 11:00pm
The act: On bended knee, 'Will you Cathy-Anne Morenzie do me the great honour of previledge of spending the rest of your life with me?'
The ring: As pictured
She really had no clue what was about to happen. :P
I was totally blown away by Preston's proposal. I did not expect it at all
Preston's Version
The victim: Cathy Morenzie
The perpetrator: Preston Squire
The setting: Oro Restaurant
The moment: Friday, November 4th around 11:00pm
The act: On bended knee, 'Will you Cathy-Anne Morenzie do me the great honour of previledge of spending the rest of your life with me?'
The ring: As pictured
She really had no clue what was about to happen. :P
Reposts of Wedding Blog: Guest Comments
Debbie Squire
I woukld like to extend the very best of wishes and blessings to both the bride and groom.
Monday, 12th December 2011
Beena and Paresh
Hi Preston and Cathy congratulations. May God pour down blessings of happiness and prosperity on your wedding day and throughout your lives. We are really looking forward to your wedding day. Take Care God Bless Love Paresh and Beena
Saturday, 3rd December 2011
Kim Squire
Yay! Congrats to you both!
Wednesday, 30th November 2011
Carol Hamilton
Congratulations Cathy and Preston - Together, may you always find the very best in life. Growing closer day by day as husband and wife....I love Cathy
Thursday, 24th November 2011
Jennifer Inniss & Lee Eastmond
Our most warm felt and loving congratulations!! We are so happy for the two of you! I cannot wait until the ceremony and cannot wait to see the life that unfolds for the two of you! I love you Cath!!
Wednesday, 23rd November 2011
Sarah Oluyomi
Congratulations to you both. I am very, very happy for both you. The hand of God will continue to be upon you and His blessing will will work in your lives. His favor also will be put in operation in your lives and will make things come easy for both of you.
I love you dearly.
Thursday, 17th November 2011
Lisa Armstrong
Congratulations to you both. I'm so excited and happy for you.
Wednesday, 16th November 2011
Tracey Miller
This is SO awesome! Congratulations. I loved looking through this, thanks for sharing your amazing stories. God bless and keep you both.
Tuesday, 15th November 2011
Angelle Whyte
Congratulations Cathy and Preston! My what a wonderful story of love and destiny! I love it.
Beloved Cathy, you deserve the absolute BEST and I am so glad you have your modern day 'Boaz. God is truly GOOD :)
Tuesday, 15th November 2011
Amber Whitman-Currier
Congratulations and many happy years together. The best to both of you.
Tuesday, 15th November 2011
Carla Scotland
congrats to you both
Monday, 14th November 2011
Andria Thompson
Congrats hun! All the best to you both!
Lot's of love,
Andria
Monday, 14th November 2011
I woukld like to extend the very best of wishes and blessings to both the bride and groom.
Monday, 12th December 2011
Beena and Paresh
Hi Preston and Cathy congratulations. May God pour down blessings of happiness and prosperity on your wedding day and throughout your lives. We are really looking forward to your wedding day. Take Care God Bless Love Paresh and Beena
Saturday, 3rd December 2011
Kim Squire
Yay! Congrats to you both!
Wednesday, 30th November 2011
Carol Hamilton
Congratulations Cathy and Preston - Together, may you always find the very best in life. Growing closer day by day as husband and wife....I love Cathy
Thursday, 24th November 2011
Jennifer Inniss & Lee Eastmond
Our most warm felt and loving congratulations!! We are so happy for the two of you! I cannot wait until the ceremony and cannot wait to see the life that unfolds for the two of you! I love you Cath!!
Wednesday, 23rd November 2011
Sarah Oluyomi
Congratulations to you both. I am very, very happy for both you. The hand of God will continue to be upon you and His blessing will will work in your lives. His favor also will be put in operation in your lives and will make things come easy for both of you.
I love you dearly.
Thursday, 17th November 2011
Lisa Armstrong
Congratulations to you both. I'm so excited and happy for you.
Wednesday, 16th November 2011
Tracey Miller
This is SO awesome! Congratulations. I loved looking through this, thanks for sharing your amazing stories. God bless and keep you both.
Tuesday, 15th November 2011
Angelle Whyte
Congratulations Cathy and Preston! My what a wonderful story of love and destiny! I love it.
Beloved Cathy, you deserve the absolute BEST and I am so glad you have your modern day 'Boaz. God is truly GOOD :)
Tuesday, 15th November 2011
Amber Whitman-Currier
Congratulations and many happy years together. The best to both of you.
Tuesday, 15th November 2011
Carla Scotland
congrats to you both
Monday, 14th November 2011
Andria Thompson
Congrats hun! All the best to you both!
Lot's of love,
Andria
Monday, 14th November 2011
Reposts of Wedding Blog - Preston's Dec 12th Post (FINAL)
Cathy and I would like to thank our friends and family for the wonderful bachelor's party and bridal shower they hosted over the weekend.
It is really touching to us to think of the time and effort that was involved in putting these on, especially when they were largely organized by those same people who are already deeply involved in the actual wedding planning. Of course, we acknowledge that it's a busy time of year for everyone, with the holidays almost upon us, so the effort is just that much more appreciated.
It's always a pleasure and delight to be surrounded by friends and family, especially on a happy occasion as this.
For me it is a delight to have my adult son be able to share in these fond memories with me, and indeed, he took the lead in organizing my bachelor party, for which I'm very grateful. Of course, it was great to see so many of my friends together - for the first time ever. Thanks to everyone who came!
Cathy's friends did an amazing job of organizing the bridal shower, complete with fancy agendas, a delicious red velvet cake (still loving that ladies - thank you), balloons, decor, games and more. I only caught the last couple minutes of that affair but I was very impressed. Also, lovely gifts ladies! Thank-you!
Five days to go and everyone involved has a full plate for every one of them. I'm sure the wedding will be here before we even know it!
I look forward to seeing everyone on Saturday! Hope you all enjoy it as much as we do!
It is really touching to us to think of the time and effort that was involved in putting these on, especially when they were largely organized by those same people who are already deeply involved in the actual wedding planning. Of course, we acknowledge that it's a busy time of year for everyone, with the holidays almost upon us, so the effort is just that much more appreciated.
It's always a pleasure and delight to be surrounded by friends and family, especially on a happy occasion as this.
For me it is a delight to have my adult son be able to share in these fond memories with me, and indeed, he took the lead in organizing my bachelor party, for which I'm very grateful. Of course, it was great to see so many of my friends together - for the first time ever. Thanks to everyone who came!
Cathy's friends did an amazing job of organizing the bridal shower, complete with fancy agendas, a delicious red velvet cake (still loving that ladies - thank you), balloons, decor, games and more. I only caught the last couple minutes of that affair but I was very impressed. Also, lovely gifts ladies! Thank-you!
Five days to go and everyone involved has a full plate for every one of them. I'm sure the wedding will be here before we even know it!
I look forward to seeing everyone on Saturday! Hope you all enjoy it as much as we do!
Reposts of Wedding Blog - Preston's Dec 10th Post
It is a little hard to imagine that in exactly one week's time, I will (once again) be a married man.
It is a notion that fills my heart with so much joy that the continued thought of it brings moisture to my eyes.
There are many aspects to that joy. The fact that despite the fact that my friends will - no doubt - desend upon me 'unexpectedly' any minute now and take me out for a night in the male tradition of relishing in the last visage of singleness - being single, with all that entails - no longer has any meaning for me. If anything I was single far too long already. Tired of the pursuit of women. Bored of the 'freedoms' given. I do not look at my old life passing and feel any sense of remorse, quite conversely, I see only unearned gain in the impending new life.
The fact that it is not of my own accord that I have thusly been blessed with this precious gift of the life of Cathy (and Jojo!) but by the mercy and grace of my Lord in Heaven. For it is purely only out of obidence to Him, that I persisted when I could see no way, and only through His subtle influences that my missteps were corrected or forgiven, time and again. When I walked His path, the relationship soared. When I walked mine, it crashed. When I ultimately submitted to living His way not mine, then suddenly and unexpectly everything fell perfectly into place for our engagement.
The fact that after so long a time I've finally found someone whom I can really see myself living with until 'death due us part'.
The fact that I have an oppurtunity to create a family life, with someone who shares the same values as opposed to on my own or with someone of vastly different principals.
There are many more points I could list off, most of which you could guess but my time is at an end.
Often I'm asked if I'm nervous and the answer is simply 'no'. I am happy and blissfully calm. True there are a thousands little details that might go wrong, but at the end of the day, we will be married and in the end, that's all that matters.
It is a notion that fills my heart with so much joy that the continued thought of it brings moisture to my eyes.
There are many aspects to that joy. The fact that despite the fact that my friends will - no doubt - desend upon me 'unexpectedly' any minute now and take me out for a night in the male tradition of relishing in the last visage of singleness - being single, with all that entails - no longer has any meaning for me. If anything I was single far too long already. Tired of the pursuit of women. Bored of the 'freedoms' given. I do not look at my old life passing and feel any sense of remorse, quite conversely, I see only unearned gain in the impending new life.
The fact that it is not of my own accord that I have thusly been blessed with this precious gift of the life of Cathy (and Jojo!) but by the mercy and grace of my Lord in Heaven. For it is purely only out of obidence to Him, that I persisted when I could see no way, and only through His subtle influences that my missteps were corrected or forgiven, time and again. When I walked His path, the relationship soared. When I walked mine, it crashed. When I ultimately submitted to living His way not mine, then suddenly and unexpectly everything fell perfectly into place for our engagement.
The fact that after so long a time I've finally found someone whom I can really see myself living with until 'death due us part'.
The fact that I have an oppurtunity to create a family life, with someone who shares the same values as opposed to on my own or with someone of vastly different principals.
There are many more points I could list off, most of which you could guess but my time is at an end.
Often I'm asked if I'm nervous and the answer is simply 'no'. I am happy and blissfully calm. True there are a thousands little details that might go wrong, but at the end of the day, we will be married and in the end, that's all that matters.
Reposts of Wedding Blog - Preston's Dec 9th Post
8 days to go! I'm so excited, and so, incredibly busy!
As you all know by now (or sure ought to!) we've changed the wedding venue from Orangeville to Toronto. So while in the midst of juggling a hundred different little wedding odds and ends (and Cathy is doing an absolutely awesome job of keeping on top of everything - with some help from her friends!) we had to put everything on hold while we re-assesed what we wanted and then found new venues.
Rhema might seem like the obvious and first choice, but I assure you, Cathy, I and my friend called a lot of places before we finally said, 'Why not Rhema?'
Personally I wanted the Carlu for all of you but it wasn't in the budget. :P
The reception is being held at the caterer's restuarant. We're taking over the entire place which is great because then we can go in and decorate, take over the music, display whatever we want on the tvs and have the bar all to ourselves. It's also a smaller and more intimate space, more in keeping with our original vision.
Plus, because it saves the caterer a lot of hassle, time and staffing to host in his own place, our costs we reduced too. Nice.
Now that that is all settled, we're back to juggling 100 things, with a whole week less to do them! O_o
The next week is going to be very, very busy. However, now that the wedding has been reframed and relocated, we're looking forward to it even more than ever!
As you all know by now (or sure ought to!) we've changed the wedding venue from Orangeville to Toronto. So while in the midst of juggling a hundred different little wedding odds and ends (and Cathy is doing an absolutely awesome job of keeping on top of everything - with some help from her friends!) we had to put everything on hold while we re-assesed what we wanted and then found new venues.
Rhema might seem like the obvious and first choice, but I assure you, Cathy, I and my friend called a lot of places before we finally said, 'Why not Rhema?'
Personally I wanted the Carlu for all of you but it wasn't in the budget. :P
The reception is being held at the caterer's restuarant. We're taking over the entire place which is great because then we can go in and decorate, take over the music, display whatever we want on the tvs and have the bar all to ourselves. It's also a smaller and more intimate space, more in keeping with our original vision.
Plus, because it saves the caterer a lot of hassle, time and staffing to host in his own place, our costs we reduced too. Nice.
Now that that is all settled, we're back to juggling 100 things, with a whole week less to do them! O_o
The next week is going to be very, very busy. However, now that the wedding has been reframed and relocated, we're looking forward to it even more than ever!
Reposts of Wedding Blog - Cathy's Dec 8th Post
Now I finally understand why some people take a year to plan a wedding! What the heck were we thinking?
Up to one week ago things were going smoothly. In fact, one of my clients commented that she would be so mad if we pulled off a 6 week wedding without a hitch. Needless to say, that's the day when everything fell apart! ( I'm still mad at her)
The details of all that went amiss are not necessary but let me summarize by saying that as of 7:00 pm last night. Our entire wedding has been moved from Orangeville to Toronto. In 2 days we managed to find a new site for our wedding ceremony ( my home church) and for our reception ( our caterers restaurant downtown). As faith-filled as we both are, we just could not trust that the weather would co-operate on our wedding day—especially up North.
Over the last week we’ve secured our marriage certificate. ( yes, my divorce certificate finally came in); we finalized the menu; we’ve got our wedding bands, cake knife and other misc. items engraved ( so much for low key wedding); in the midst of it all, we’re also undergoing INTENSE pre-marital counseling which has been invaluable.
Today I’m going shopping for a wedding dress! ( it’s another long story)
Overall, I’ve learned to let go of all the expectations and minuscule details that I was holding on to which has freed me up to enjoy the blessing of this wedding process- especially my supportive friends. Their support and encouragement has been one of the highlights of this entire process.
Preston has been amazing. He has been actively involved in the process and is allowing his creative giftings to shine.
One last thing… I’m loving how my son has embraced his 'new normal'. When he’s happy, then I’m happy.
Looking forward to our wedding day !!!
Up to one week ago things were going smoothly. In fact, one of my clients commented that she would be so mad if we pulled off a 6 week wedding without a hitch. Needless to say, that's the day when everything fell apart! ( I'm still mad at her)
The details of all that went amiss are not necessary but let me summarize by saying that as of 7:00 pm last night. Our entire wedding has been moved from Orangeville to Toronto. In 2 days we managed to find a new site for our wedding ceremony ( my home church) and for our reception ( our caterers restaurant downtown). As faith-filled as we both are, we just could not trust that the weather would co-operate on our wedding day—especially up North.
Over the last week we’ve secured our marriage certificate. ( yes, my divorce certificate finally came in); we finalized the menu; we’ve got our wedding bands, cake knife and other misc. items engraved ( so much for low key wedding); in the midst of it all, we’re also undergoing INTENSE pre-marital counseling which has been invaluable.
Today I’m going shopping for a wedding dress! ( it’s another long story)
Overall, I’ve learned to let go of all the expectations and minuscule details that I was holding on to which has freed me up to enjoy the blessing of this wedding process- especially my supportive friends. Their support and encouragement has been one of the highlights of this entire process.
Preston has been amazing. He has been actively involved in the process and is allowing his creative giftings to shine.
One last thing… I’m loving how my son has embraced his 'new normal'. When he’s happy, then I’m happy.
Looking forward to our wedding day !!!
Reposts of Wedding Blog - Preston's Dec 1st Post
Only 16 days to go - yikes!!
The good news is we have all the major stuff settled but there's still endless details to see about.
We have a Caribbean caterer who's quite good (at least the food at his restuarant is consistantly good). It won't be all caribbean fare of course, but a nice blend with roast beef, Jerk Chicken, vegetarian lasagna, soup, salads, etc.
Cathy has been keeping very busy seeing about various details. She's had a lot of help in this with advice from a marriage planner and a detailed-oriented friend who really helped to break it all down into daily action items.
We took my daughter out last night dress shopping. Found a nice dress that goes with the colour theme perfectly. Cathy met up with her and my son for a couple hours before Jojo and I were able to join them. It was the first time they had spend time alone with her and it was good to see how well the families are messing together.
We had planned to sit down with all the children and make sure everyone was feeling comfortable and a part of what's happening but by the time a dress was finally decided on, we were all so tired, everyone just wanted to get home.
At any rate, all the children seem completely comfortable with the situation which is just another blessing from God.
The good news is we have all the major stuff settled but there's still endless details to see about.
We have a Caribbean caterer who's quite good (at least the food at his restuarant is consistantly good). It won't be all caribbean fare of course, but a nice blend with roast beef, Jerk Chicken, vegetarian lasagna, soup, salads, etc.
Cathy has been keeping very busy seeing about various details. She's had a lot of help in this with advice from a marriage planner and a detailed-oriented friend who really helped to break it all down into daily action items.
We took my daughter out last night dress shopping. Found a nice dress that goes with the colour theme perfectly. Cathy met up with her and my son for a couple hours before Jojo and I were able to join them. It was the first time they had spend time alone with her and it was good to see how well the families are messing together.
We had planned to sit down with all the children and make sure everyone was feeling comfortable and a part of what's happening but by the time a dress was finally decided on, we were all so tired, everyone just wanted to get home.
At any rate, all the children seem completely comfortable with the situation which is just another blessing from God.
Reposts of Wedding Blog - Cathy's Nov 27th Post
Today was our first pre-marital counseling session. Our 1 hour session lasted over 2.5 hours. It was powerful, insightful, thought-provoking and a bit unnerving. Both Preston and I were amazed at the pastors ability to read between the lines and pick up on any little cues that he felt we needed to discuss.
Our first session did exactly what it was intended to do; highlight the significance of marriage on all levels; to help us understand the magnitude of what we were entering into; to give us food for thought in areas of our relationship that we will need to grow and develop and to teach us how to fireproof our marriage.
We left our session with lots to talk about on our own. More importantly, it is helping us to really understand what it really means for two to become one. There is no other way that a relationship can survive unless we both unite our hearts, minds and spirits and make God the head of our relationship.
I'm nervously awaiting our second session next week.
Extremely productive day with wedding plans...
We found our wedding bands today after weeks of searching for the perfect pair...
We found shirts and ties for the men in the wedding party ( our sons)...
I found the perfect accessory for my dress...
With all the busyness of the day we still found time to put up the Christmas tree and purchase 2 Christmas gifts -yippee!!
Its pretty cool seeing the bonding that's starting to happen between my son and Preston. I think Preston got hit in the head with a nerf bullet today- what a trooper- he took it all in stride. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched them wrestling and play-fighting and I give God thanks.
As my son prayed at bedtime, I heard him thank God for his new father-- really choked me up....
Our first session did exactly what it was intended to do; highlight the significance of marriage on all levels; to help us understand the magnitude of what we were entering into; to give us food for thought in areas of our relationship that we will need to grow and develop and to teach us how to fireproof our marriage.
We left our session with lots to talk about on our own. More importantly, it is helping us to really understand what it really means for two to become one. There is no other way that a relationship can survive unless we both unite our hearts, minds and spirits and make God the head of our relationship.
I'm nervously awaiting our second session next week.
Extremely productive day with wedding plans...
We found our wedding bands today after weeks of searching for the perfect pair...
We found shirts and ties for the men in the wedding party ( our sons)...
I found the perfect accessory for my dress...
With all the busyness of the day we still found time to put up the Christmas tree and purchase 2 Christmas gifts -yippee!!
Its pretty cool seeing the bonding that's starting to happen between my son and Preston. I think Preston got hit in the head with a nerf bullet today- what a trooper- he took it all in stride. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched them wrestling and play-fighting and I give God thanks.
As my son prayed at bedtime, I heard him thank God for his new father-- really choked me up....
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