A year ago, on New Year's Day, I woke up, deliriously from a high fever, alone on the kitchen floor, in a tiny, crappy apartment in the poor part of town, my girlfriend having dumped me hours before, deep in debt and utterly frustrated with my life. However, I was blogging because I had committed to changing the quality of my life.
As I write this first blog posting of 2012, and look back at some of my 2011 posts (unfortunately I don't have time at this moment to review them all) I see that in many profound ways my life is different but in others life is repeating itself.
First off, and perhaps most significantly, I have gone from a believer in 'The Secret' and my own ability to succeed to a believer in Jesus Christ and His ability to succeed through me, despite myself.
Secondly, I am now three weeks married to the very woman who had dumped my sorry ass last year at this time. I have moved out of my crappy apartment, and am currently residing in her all around nicer apartment as we strive for a larger place for our now larger family. I now have a step-son, whom I love, in my life, and I really enjoy having a child in the house again. I didn't realize how much I missed that.
Thirdly, I realize the importance of commiting oneself absolutely to an ideal, path or purpose. There can be absolutely no half-measures. There can be no fall-back; it is success or nothing. That is to say, your mindset must be success is the only acceptable option. Failure to achieve 100% is simply not an option.
The instant it becomes an option, it becomes your destiny, because, in the end, we're all prone to go with the easiest 'win'. The first point ties into this as well. Faith, that when your best isn't good enough, God will take you the rest of the way is paramount. So far, that is one 'truth' that I have found to work. But only when this concept of complete conviction to achieving is applied.
So those are the areas where my life is different, but in some areas it's remained, at the moment at least, the same:
1) I'm still in the same go-nowhere job which, while I don't loathe it, I have long sought to leave. I did, in fact, change positions for three months in the summer but then had to return and after a week of total revulsion have again gotten comfortable in this career rut.
2) I'm still writing but have not yet gotten a book published. Actually, truth be told I haven't written anything in a couple months - mainly because I was totally pre-occupied with God moving in my life and getting married after a brief engagement period and then taking Christmas break. Life has gone back to normal- or a 'new normal' as my wife and I have begun calling it and it's time for this to simple be done. That is to say, if I'm going to write, I have to finally commit absolutely to making that happen or pass this cup.
3) After a couple months of tremendous movement in my life, I have slowly fallen back into old comfort zone patterns and they are not serving me, at all.
4) I'm in the process of defining how I want my life to look, although now jointly with my wife.
While I marvel at this wonder that God has created in my life very suddenly and quite unexpectedly, called marriage, I have prayed all along that while it is a tremendous blessing and puts me in more fertile soil, it itself is not, and cannot, be the only change in my life. I must change and through that change, everything around must change as well. That includes my relationships, my job, my lifestyle and especially, living outside of my comfort zone, at least, most of the time.
God has called me to Lead, to Love and to Literate (that is, to write). None of those come naturally to me, but that is irrelevant. They come naturally to my heavenly Father, all I have to do is allow Him to flow through me. It is the process of getting me out of His way that is the challenging part. Especially because God always takes me way out of my comfort zones. But I have to trust in Him and commit myself absolutely to those three pillars before I will become that person that I have been called to be. I managed to do it long enough to get married, despite myself (and trust me, it was through no genius of mine that it happened) now as I continue to do so, God will reshape other areas of my life as well.
I look forward to reviewing this a year from now and seeing how much more my life has grown. Join me why don't you?
As I write this first blog posting of 2012, and look back at some of my 2011 posts (unfortunately I don't have time at this moment to review them all) I see that in many profound ways my life is different but in others life is repeating itself.
First off, and perhaps most significantly, I have gone from a believer in 'The Secret' and my own ability to succeed to a believer in Jesus Christ and His ability to succeed through me, despite myself.
Secondly, I am now three weeks married to the very woman who had dumped my sorry ass last year at this time. I have moved out of my crappy apartment, and am currently residing in her all around nicer apartment as we strive for a larger place for our now larger family. I now have a step-son, whom I love, in my life, and I really enjoy having a child in the house again. I didn't realize how much I missed that.
Thirdly, I realize the importance of commiting oneself absolutely to an ideal, path or purpose. There can be absolutely no half-measures. There can be no fall-back; it is success or nothing. That is to say, your mindset must be success is the only acceptable option. Failure to achieve 100% is simply not an option.
The instant it becomes an option, it becomes your destiny, because, in the end, we're all prone to go with the easiest 'win'. The first point ties into this as well. Faith, that when your best isn't good enough, God will take you the rest of the way is paramount. So far, that is one 'truth' that I have found to work. But only when this concept of complete conviction to achieving is applied.
So those are the areas where my life is different, but in some areas it's remained, at the moment at least, the same:
1) I'm still in the same go-nowhere job which, while I don't loathe it, I have long sought to leave. I did, in fact, change positions for three months in the summer but then had to return and after a week of total revulsion have again gotten comfortable in this career rut.
2) I'm still writing but have not yet gotten a book published. Actually, truth be told I haven't written anything in a couple months - mainly because I was totally pre-occupied with God moving in my life and getting married after a brief engagement period and then taking Christmas break. Life has gone back to normal- or a 'new normal' as my wife and I have begun calling it and it's time for this to simple be done. That is to say, if I'm going to write, I have to finally commit absolutely to making that happen or pass this cup.
3) After a couple months of tremendous movement in my life, I have slowly fallen back into old comfort zone patterns and they are not serving me, at all.
4) I'm in the process of defining how I want my life to look, although now jointly with my wife.
While I marvel at this wonder that God has created in my life very suddenly and quite unexpectedly, called marriage, I have prayed all along that while it is a tremendous blessing and puts me in more fertile soil, it itself is not, and cannot, be the only change in my life. I must change and through that change, everything around must change as well. That includes my relationships, my job, my lifestyle and especially, living outside of my comfort zone, at least, most of the time.
God has called me to Lead, to Love and to Literate (that is, to write). None of those come naturally to me, but that is irrelevant. They come naturally to my heavenly Father, all I have to do is allow Him to flow through me. It is the process of getting me out of His way that is the challenging part. Especially because God always takes me way out of my comfort zones. But I have to trust in Him and commit myself absolutely to those three pillars before I will become that person that I have been called to be. I managed to do it long enough to get married, despite myself (and trust me, it was through no genius of mine that it happened) now as I continue to do so, God will reshape other areas of my life as well.
I look forward to reviewing this a year from now and seeing how much more my life has grown. Join me why don't you?
No comments:
Post a Comment