Preston's Path to Prosperity

Quiet Time

2012-01-10T00:18:00.001-05:00

It's midnight. I went to bed a couple hours ago with my wife, who has early morning clients, but I've never been one to sleep so early. Sure enough, an hour and a half later I was still up, so after wasted some time on my Wii (or my step-son's Wii to be specific) I decided to do something a little more meaningful and blog.

As I worked on our budget and she packed my lunch for tomorrow (something I always intent to do but rarely seem to get around to) we marveled at how divinely we were fitting into each other's life. For as I would rarely take the time to pack a lunch, she would rarely take the time to properly budget her money but also always mean to. We were filling a need in each other's life, almost without even trying, just by being ourselves.

If you have been following this blog, then you know I married my wife out of faith more than any common sense. Heck, common sense would have railed against it. Nor was it faith in our ability to make it work, but faith that that is where God was leading us, despite ourselves. So we both got ourselves out of God's way and followed His plan, not ours.

While it hasn't been without issue, the merger of our lives, that is, two very independent people who have been single and single parents for fifteen years each, has been remarkably wonderful. It's just been a joy to slip into his married life. It's almost like we're living a dream. It's practically too easy at times. I never expected that. I trusted God we'd make it work with His help, and we are, but I didn't expect it to go as smoothly as it has.

Now there was a point were we both started slipping into our old patterns but once we reached out for God, we popped back out of those and life has been ... lovely.

Having walked off this proverbial cliff and ended up with such a wonderful result, I can hardly wait to do so in other areas of my life! Especially in my employment. However, while I'm fully confident I am not where God wants me to be, I do not yet have a clear indication of where exactly God wants me to be. So I'm committing that to prayer along with a list of other things.

As mentioned in an earlier post, the one thing God has prompted me to do is to resume blogging. Although I was a little reluctant at first I am very grateful I obeyed. I have always found it a useful exercise and I hope it is a blessing for you, the eventual reader, as well.

Now, I'm going to do at least a little post in my sister-blog thecuphalffull.com as well - which I have been so far ignoring. I don't know what I want to do with it but I'll just write whatever God brings into my head and we'll see.

God Bless,

PS

Centennial Post

2012-01-08T22:38:00.004-05:00

At the titles suggests, this is indeed my 100th post on this blog.

It seems as good as time as any to reflect back over the length of this blog journey and draw some conclusions as to what has happened over the last 3 and a quarter years since I started this blog, where I'm going and what it all means.

I goes without saying, that this journey, like anyone's, has had it's ups and downs and has been a struggle at times. There is nothing unique about that, and really, in the end, that is exactly what this autobiographical blog is really about. It is meant to show that people, no matter who they are, and what life they lead, are not so different that you. The circumstances way differ wildly but in the end, we are all human, we all struggle to find some reason for our own existence and to find joy in our lives.

What is different, is how we go about it. I've learned enough to know that true success is living a life that brings joy to you and others. Having a lot of money, or fame, or power, doesn't make you successful. Rich and powerful people struggle with having a joy filled life just the same as someone who's waiting tables. Rich people can just buy more and better distractions from their areas of lack and discontent.

So if money, power and fame are not indicators of success, then what is?

Purpose, compassion and love.

If you have a driving purpose in your life, something you truly believe in and are absolutely committed to achieving; if you have a compassion for others and are committed to helping others - in deed not just thought; and if you give and receive love freely, then you can consider yourself successful. These are the building blocks that inevitably bring a sense of joy and a reason for being.

That may sound like a lot of liberal crap but I also find those people who are truly living 'on target', often find those worldly things, such as money, comes easy. But for them money, fame and power are mere tools. Not things to be sought in and of themselves, but simply a means to an end.

To simplify, instead of becoming a leader to become rich, famous and powerful, one becomes a leader, accepting the pay, power and prestige as necessary, in order to make the world a better place.

The other great truth I've found is that it's not about me. It's not about fixing myself so I can be some kind of 'super' person and achieve huge success. It's about finding your God given purpose and then simply (which is easy said than done) getting out of God's way and allow Him to fulfill that purpose through you.

As I reflect back on my life, pretty much every great break-through, if not all of them, were God's doing, not mine. Looking back on it now it's a wonder I ever had this notion that I'm suppose to be some kind of uber-human success machine. When every time I'm in trouble and I reach out to God, and He answers, when He comes powerfully into my life to push it forward, time and again, why would I still think it's about me and what I can do?

Probably because I live in a society where belief in God is no longer trendy, where we are constantly bombarded with the idea of individual success, and where success 'gurus' replace 'God' with 'The Secret' because let's face it, 'God' doesn't sell in the 21st century North America.

The movie, 'The Secret' purposefully skipped a crucial step of the process even though many of the 'guru's in it know it and promote it (although most, like myself until recently, avoid using the term 'God' or water it down greatly to reach more people). That step is this: It's not about the 'universe', IE: God, coming into alignment with you and all your (petty) desires. It's about you coming into alignment with the 'universe', IE: God, and His plan for your life. Once you are in alignment with God and His plan, then, yes, absolutely, He's going to start to make things happen in your life - as long as you remain in action and have faith. If you need more money, more will be on it's way, if you need fame, you won't be able to help but obtain it, that is as long as you remain in alignment and agreement. However, God is going to constantly push you out of your comfort zones and that's where we struggle to remain in agreement with His plan and able to 'receive' as 'The Secret' puts it. 'The Secret' makes it seem as if we can have whatever we want the way we want it. No, not at all. However, if you come into (and stay in) agreement and alignment with God's plan, what you ultimately receive will be greater than whatever you thought you wanted in the first dang place.

So, in conclusion, where I am after over twenty-five years of self-improvement books, tapes, seminars, courses and coaching, three plus years of success blogging and 100 posts in this autobiographical blog? I'm coming into alignment with God's plans for my life and starting to reap the rewards that brings. I have a lot of work to do. Of course I do. I'm still here writing this. The instant my work is done, my lessons learns, then my heavenly Father will call me back. And that's okay, because if I'm called back early because I was an able student, then that, my dear, dear friends, is success. Living until 125 and then running out of gas without ever having understood where I was going, would not be a worthwhile life to live.

Fortunately, since I have not intention of dying soon, I still have a lot of work to do. And as always, this blog, and others, are a part of that work. A look forward to writing another 100 posts.

Preston Squire

A New Life - ?

2012-01-07T14:50:00.001-05:00

A year ago, on New Year's Day, I woke up, deliriously from a high fever, alone on the kitchen floor, in a tiny, crappy apartment in the poor part of town, my girlfriend having dumped me hours before, deep in debt and utterly frustrated with my life. However, I was blogging because I had committed to changing the quality of my life.

As I write this first blog posting of 2012, and look back at some of my 2011 posts (unfortunately I don't have time at this moment to review them all) I see that in many profound ways my life is different but in others life is repeating itself.

First off, and perhaps most significantly, I have gone from a believer in 'The Secret' and my own ability to succeed to a believer in Jesus Christ and His ability to succeed through me, despite myself.

Secondly, I am now three weeks married to the very woman who had dumped my sorry ass last year at this time.   I have moved out of my crappy apartment, and am currently residing in her all around nicer apartment as we strive for a larger place for our now larger family. I now have a step-son, whom I love, in my life, and I really enjoy having a child in the house again. I didn't realize how much I missed that.

Thirdly, I realize the importance of commiting oneself absolutely to an ideal, path or purpose. There can be absolutely no half-measures. There can be no fall-back; it is success or nothing.   That is to say, your mindset must be success is the only acceptable option. Failure to achieve 100% is simply not an option.
The instant it becomes an option, it becomes your destiny, because, in the end, we're all prone to go with the easiest 'win'. The first point ties into this as well. Faith, that when your best isn't good enough, God will take you the rest of the way is paramount.   So far, that is one 'truth' that I have found to work. But only when this concept of complete conviction to achieving is applied.

So those are the areas where my life is different, but in some areas it's remained, at the moment at least, the same:

1) I'm still in the same go-nowhere job which, while I don't loathe it, I have long sought to leave. I did, in fact, change positions for three months in the summer but then had to return and after a week of total revulsion have again gotten comfortable in this career rut.

2) I'm still writing but have not yet gotten a book published. Actually, truth be told I haven't written anything in a couple months - mainly because I was totally pre-occupied with God moving in my life and getting married after a brief engagement period and then taking Christmas break. Life has gone back to normal- or a 'new normal' as my wife and I have begun calling it and it's time for this to simple be done. That is to say, if I'm going to write, I have to finally commit absolutely to making that happen or pass this cup.

3) After a couple months of tremendous movement in my life, I have slowly fallen back into old comfort zone patterns and they are not serving me, at all.

4) I'm in the process of defining how I want my life to look, although now jointly with my wife.

While I marvel at this wonder that God has created in my life very suddenly and quite unexpectedly, called marriage, I have prayed all along that while it is a tremendous blessing and puts me in more fertile soil, it itself is not, and cannot, be the only change in my life.   I must change and through that change, everything around must change as well.   That includes my relationships, my job, my lifestyle and especially, living outside of my comfort zone, at least, most of the time.

God has called me to Lead, to Love and to Literate (that is, to write).   None of those come naturally to me, but that is irrelevant. They come naturally to my heavenly Father, all I have to do is allow Him to flow through me. It is the process of getting me out of His way that is the challenging part. Especially because God always takes me way out of my comfort zones. But I have to trust in Him and commit myself absolutely to those three pillars before I will become that person that I have been called to be.    I managed to do it long enough to get married, despite myself (and trust me, it was through no genius of mine that it happened) now as I continue to do so, God will reshape other areas of my life as well.

I look forward to reviewing this a year from now and seeing how much more my life has grown. Join me why don't you?

Walking in faith - Updated

2011-11-07T12:47:00.000-05:00

The Lord has challenged me.

I am not inclined to post this as it could be cause for much public humiliation and embarrassment but I trust in the Lord and I have faith that this will only serve to glorify Him in the end.

I've long felt a certainty in my bones that a particular woman (who will remain nameless for now so I do not cause her undo embarrassment) I was dating would be my wife. I have 'known' it since New Years 2009 but I couldn't accept it then. I could not see it. At that time we'd been dating for three months but hadn't done more than kiss, in fact, I'm not even sure we'd done that. We both felt an attraction for the other, both felt there were some compatiblities but at the same time, did not see those traits we were looking for in each other.

I was dating other women at the time, so I was not overly put off by the slow progress. Yet when I tired of juggling and sought the Lord as to who was the 'right' one, he said the one I could least understand. I accepted it, went out with her on that New Year's night, and starved of everything I sought I wanted and needed - ran!

So the Lord provided exactly that which I'd asked for instead. There was that passion and attention that I was so desperately seeking, in spades! Yet, I knew, I knew that I knew that I knew, that it wasn't healthy. It was two sick people feeding off each other. I ended it quickly.

Confused I drifted for a while and the Lord used me for a time to heal others but while I provided something they needed, I was left empty myself. I still occasionally saw the woman I had run from, and in the end, we started working on a project together and fell in love.

Now that we were in a proper relationship I told her many times over that I felt certain that we were meant to be together. That she would marry me. She thought I was sweet but delusional for I continued to fail to exhibit the qualities she sought. For my part, I kept holding back, waiting for the sense of certainty, for the unbridled passion, for that sense that there's no way I could live without her but that never came. So instead I merely enjoyed her company but remained in my comfort zone.

As a result, we continuously drifted in and out of a relationship. Both strangely attracted but neither satisfied with the other. Again the Lord used me to heal, as every time I felt I'd had enough and wanted out, He would direct me to just love her unconditionally for she was worthy, and seek Love from Him instead of from her. Reluctantly I obeyed, time after time and reluctantly, she responded every time.

However, the relationship did not honour her, me or God in the way that it should have. It was total compromise all the way around. We continued to see only that which was lacking and didn't invest in it fully.

27 days ago, God saw fit to separate us and we were in agreement on that. At that time I saw it as a temporary reprieve but she saw it as the end. Up front we compromised and agreed to meet in about three weeks time to review.

If you've read the last post, you know that God has been working extensively on me since then. When the spirit revealed to me the truth of what I'd done, I felt a tremendous remorse. I was the one that knew God's intent but I was not living in accordance to it, I was being lukewarm by staying and loving her (which was easy) but not stepping into the authority that God had placed on me to Lead her. So at that point, I felt the heaviness in my spirit that when we met for our 'review' meeting that I was to propose. That was rationally crazy of course but I had faith in the Lord, mainly due to all the wonders He was working in me at the time.

I budgeted out some money and went and found a few rings in that range. I knew I could return the ring if she said 'no' so there was little harm in asking and being 'obedient'. If fact there was no reason to expect any other answer than 'no', so aside from a little embarrassment I risked nothing in humouring the Lord. While no proper engagement ring is cheap, I felt she'd understand if I got her what was reasonable for my budget, especially since she didn't expect much from me at all, and would never expect an engagement ring, period.

I was comfortable with this arrangement with God.

Then God prompted me to look around some more. I learned a lot more about diamonds, initially from Birks but Birk's rings were far outside of my budget. However, having been shown what to look for in a quality diamond I went back to where I had planned to purchase and could clearly see the inferiority of the diamonds with the naked eye. Instead of being something wonderful that I was slightly proud to present, they had become junk jewelry. It just wouldn't do. I would take no pride in it at all.

I went back to praying. If God wanted me to spend more, he'd have to show me where the money was coming from.

One of the things I had prepared to do was to take a life development course, and beyond that training on how to be a Life Coach. However, I was beginning to have some hesitancy around that as, like most modern day new age thinking, it taught that I could do whatever I wanted if I set my mind to it, while God was showing me a completely different way - dependence on Him and doing His will, not mine.

At this time she returned from a Christian retreat and eagerly shared details about it. She had many breakthroughs (although if our relationship was one of them she didn't mention it). I did some research on it and determined that this was the way God wanting me to go, not the course I'd planned. The fact that the Christian retreat cost a fraction of the course I was about to sign up for, and was held on the exact same dates (which I had already booked off) confirmed it. Suddenly I had a bunch of extra money and knew exactly what to do with it.

So now I was looking at getting a much nicer diamond ring that I really could be proud of, that would really make a strong statement, and which could still easily be returned.

I had grown and became comfortable with God's new plan.

Then he had me look around some more. On Friday I was off work so I had some time to shop, I learned even more, and found a small independent shop that took as much care to find exceptional diamonds as Birks but without Birk's large overhead. Okay cool, the price even matched that which the spirit had given me. After more consideration and prayer I decided to go with them - until I learned there was no returning the ring. !! I ran back to Birks. But Birks ring was far inferior. Nor would they meet the price the spirit had given. I was confused. Shelling out that kind of cash, with no fallback, no plan B, for a woman who was hardly even talking to me and was determined she wanted out of a relationship with me, was nothing short of insane.

I prayed hard. For this to pay off, I'd need a miracle, I needed the confidence God was really, really prepared to deliver one. God dropped my own words, plus some scripture, into my head; 'Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.' If I wanted God to commit, then He wanted me to commit. Not just humour Him. To commit, fully, totally, absolutely, without doubt or wavering. As I'd written, if I was prepared to give it my all, to do whatever it took, then He was prepared to act.

But was I willing? It was craziness. But I shut off the mind and listened to the heart and soul. I dug deep. Did I really, really, really want to be married to her for the rest of my life? Was I willing to do whatever it took to make it work? (Which meant living a very different life than I had) Was I willing to really truly Love and Honour her committing to live outside of my comfort zone, for good? Was I ready to accept the possibility of more kids? Or having to support her and possibly a whole family (further outside of my current comfort zone)? Or being a loving, supportive father to her son as well as my own and to our own? Was she really a great match for me? Was I willing to forgo all other women, forever? Was I willing to put it all out on the line, with absolutely nothing, nothing, nothing at all to go on, but faith? Faith that God would somehow get her to agree. Faith that somehow God would provide a way.

You know my answer.

I wouldn't be writing this now if I hadn't asked.

The question that you are left wondering is did she miraculously say 'yes' or am I merely a delusional ranting, fool, believing in some fairy tale God that wasted a whole lot of money for nothing. Did providence move too?

At this moment. I too am left wondering that, while I wait for her ultimate answer. As I said, this could prove embarrassing... But I remain strong in my faith.

We all both know soon enough. Whatever the outcome, I will post it here, pride be damn or God be glorified. Amen.

UPDATE: PRAISE JESUS! SHE SAID YES! Totally unexpectedly, she met with someone who's insight she really respects, and before she even mention the engagement that person said she just felt in her spirit I was the one and that it was time for her to commit. So she did.
Incredible. I'm crying, it's ridiculous, but so wondrous to see the Lord in action. Providence moved. It's true. It works.

And now, I know the Lord has such a grand vision for me, one I never felt adequate for. I still don't but that's irrelevant, the Lord's Will, will be done. I commit to fulfilling it, completely.

An Open Letter to Jack Canfield Pt II

2011-10-31T23:17:00.000-04:00

Dear Jack,

I had no idea I would be writing this letter, tonight or any night, but as I checked my email I saw that someone had read my last open letter to you (April1st) and requested an update on my progress.

The timing was impeccable. While posting on this blog was the furthest thing from my mind, to write this now at this time, might be the most appropriate.

There's two answers to the question, based on how it came but the end result is the same. To wit: Is the Success Principals Coaching working for me? And How am I now doing?

To answer the first question, I do continue to use the coaching service. Sometimes a lot, several calls a week, and sometimes sparsely, a couple a month. I have read the book again, redone most of the exercises and listened to the tapes again (some repeatedly). It's all good and it's all helpful. The coaches are excellent and often do really help me to better understand myself and frame things better in my mind. Other times, not so much. It depends on who you get and what you're asking them. Coach X might guide you to an absolute insight in relation to question A but not really terribly helpful with question B, however Coach Y might be awesome on Question B. So when I have a really burning question, I keep on calling until I get the right coach for that question. Or just a lot of different perspectives. Yes, that's right, a lot of different perspectives. They all have backgrounds with other coaching companies and have different ways of doing things. Although it's 'Jack Canfield's coach line' it's not Jack's way or the highway. If anything, they refer back to The Success Principals too rarely.

However, and my use of 'however' is never a good sign, I cannot say the coaching program has helped me make any kind of substantial breakthrough. It has been useful, it has been helpful, and I continue to use it (damn straight, I PAID for it, I'm going to use it!) However, The Success Principals and the whole program has been more educational than transformational. As the old 80's cartoon 'GI Joe' use to say, 'Knowing is half the battle!' Which is apt. It's half. The problem lies in the other half.

If you were to ask me 'Was it worth the money?' I'd have to say yes and no. I do not feel that it's been worth the investment, in and of itself. That is to say, it wasn't the magic bullet and if that's someone's expectation, they might be disappointed, then again, they might not. However, there are other options out there (cheaper ones too) that I believe might serve as well or better. If you're someone reading my blog, that's good, you're looking into them and trying to figure out what's best for you. Now that's where the 'yes' comes in...

What I have found, and what has made an absolutely monumental shift in my life is that Napoleon Hill and all who came after are right as per this quote which is commonly attributed to Goethe (or Faust) but is neither:
'Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets:

          Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.
          Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!'
~ W. H. Murray in The Scottish Himalaya Expedition, 1951

I had absolutely committed myself to making a difference this year, to changing who I was in a profound meaningful way, and I pushed as hard as I could for that. Even going to far as to spend the equivalent of a small used car on Canfield's program. Money I did not have nor have the means to repay. I did the program, redid it. Tried other programs (which were also helpful) and finally, out of ideas, out of money and out of hope, unable to get myself out of the rut my life had become (a comfortable rut, but a rut nonetheless) I asked, no rather begged, God to slay the poor, pathetic person I was and just do for me what I could not do for myself.

God answered. And he has done exactly that. For the last three weeks exactly now, God has been very active in my life and transforming me. Giving me insight after insight.

Now the irony to me, is that in writing this I am reconfirming what God has been showing me all this week.

"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." ~ John 15:5

I was constantly holding back because I didn't feel I had what it took. Holding back from truly pursuing my dreams, the woman I love, the life I want and from those three pillars God gave me oh, so many years ago - to Lead, to Love and to use Literature to reach the people and help them transform their lives. I now see that, frankly, it's true. I don't have what it takes. I'm not suppose to. "Apart from me you can do nothing."

When God asked Moses to go back to Egypt and tell the Pharaoh 'Let my people go' what did Moses say? He said he couldn't do it. That no one would listen to his voice. That it held no authority. Finally God consented to send Aaron with him. Sadly, even after 40 years of seeing God's power and plans and even being the tool God used to perform many miracles, when God told him to use his voice to call water from the rock, Moses instead tried to use his staff. Twice. Foolish, stubborn man. Much like me.

When God gives you something to do, it's not like your ability matters! Really, if Aaron hadn't gone would it have been different? It was God's ability not Moses that mattered.

"If a man remains in me, and I in him, he will bear much fruit"

The key, is obedience, trusting that God will see you through. To go as far as we are able, to push ourselves as far as we can go, then when we're tapped out, when all the world is aligned against us, when the enemy is about to overwhelm us if you will, then God steps in and overthrows. Suddenly things happen in our favour.

Providence moves too.

I get it now. My ability, or my own perception of my ability, is irrelevant. The fact that I haven't accomplished what I wanted (the past) is irrelevant. All that is relevant, is that I commit myself to doing those things fully and absolutely. Am I good enough? Lol. No. Irrelevant. My God, Allah, the universe, the Law of Attraction, however you want to understand it (my understanding and connection is my Lord Jesus Christ and that's working just fine for me, thank you) IS powerful enough. God WILL see me the rest of the way. The world likely will come against me (or certainly seem that way) and that's perfectly okay, in fact, it's a great sign things are about to get interesting and it's time to start celebrating. For when I hit that wall, when everything seems doomed, when I'm overpowered, that's when God steps in and starts setting things right. But I have to be willing to go the distance first. I must be absolutely committed, because until I am 'there is the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness'. 'Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!'

So in effect, taking that risk with the Canfield program, putting it all out there and going as far as I could was absolutely necessary for me to be where I am now. I had to be committed, and ironically, had to be beaten before I could be victorious.

So 'How am I doing now?' Wonderfully. I am not at this moment rich, or uber-successful, or whatnot, but I have just paid off all my debts, completely, am reshaping my life, have enrolled in a series of programs that will result in me being a Life Coach, I am making and prepared to make radical changes in my life.

In one sense, as I write this letter, I am in the same place I was last letter, looking to make a permanent change in my life for the better.

In another sense, I am in a completely different place. In April, I was full of doubt, fear, frustration and looking for an answer. Now I have my answer. I have no doubt, no fear and only jubilation (and some residual anxiety) over what the future holds. My life has changed. I am a different man. I will be living a much different life a year from now, and far different ten years from now. Of that I am convinced and convicted. I am ready to do whatever it takes, not because I feel like I have some gift to do it, but because I understand that I don't, except through Him, but with Him my success (re: His success and glory) already a foregone conclusion.

Jack Canfield, for your part in making this happens, and to Tony Robbins, and Napoleon Hill and countless others and to Gary, Lee, all the coaches on the coach line; Thank you. A huge, gracious, warm thank you.

In this relay race of life; I have the baton, and I'm running with it.

Yours Truly,

Preston 'Quasar' Squire

Progressing

2011-09-14T16:10:00.002-04:00

While it may appear I'm ignoring my blogging duties I have in fact been quite active, blogging nearly daily on my other site: http://www.thecuphalffull.com/ I changed format to short, quick inspiring posts - which are reposted to facebook, Google+ and Twitter.

As for my life, I am continuing to progress, working on building my Isagenix business, sent my children's book - The Dream Cat and the Flood off to an agent and sold my house (still a work in progress as I deal with the various issues needing to be resolved to close).

As with my house I am continuing to cut away relics of my past to make way for new and better things. See Vacuum Law of Prosperity.

I am also better able to focus my attention, thoughts and feelings on those things that I want and not be focusing on the things I don't want (cutting those things away helps).

My life is still very much a work in progress at this moment but I am very excited for the future. Walking forward in faith, optomism and joy.

Building Away

2011-08-31T17:05:00.000-04:00

Well, I guess an update is long overdue!

I have been being a busy little bee.

Most significantly things began when one of my upline Isagenix leaders had to pull out of a training session and offered his ticket up - cheap. What was a $200 ticket (three day course) I got for a steal at $55 (he had gotten it at a discount price already and further discounted it for me).

The speakers: David Wood and Susan Sly were fabulous and I learned alot. But perhaps the most powerful stuff came on the last day. During the previous day they had people define themselves by certain character traits 'Lions' - aggressive, 'Let's get 'er done' types, 'Monkeys' - social animals, 'Owls' - inquisitive and analytical, and 'Koalas' the kind, sensitive types.

Everyone self identified and happily jumped into their respective groups. Except me. None of them seemed to represent me in any way. On my friend's suggestion I joined the Owls but very quickly felt totally out of place. I am no anal-lyst. Drives me buggy!

But I'm no social animal. Not that caring. And certainly not aggressive. So what was I??

I discussed this with David Wood in the morning. He figured me for a Owl/Koala but that still didn't resonnate. Then when he went on stage he started talking about me (without mentioned names or pointing me out). He said some people are like carrots that have been boiling on the stove too long. They've gotten soft. He looked at me and called me a 'mushy carrot!!'

While righteous indignation aside, he was right, and I knew it. I knew deep down what I was. A lion. But a lion that had lost it's bite. I was the Wizard of Oz lion. No wonder I couldn't self identify.

There was a lot of other good stuff but the most powerful was the arrow breaking. We each got an arrow, wrote down what we were moving away from and what we were moving towards on the shaft. We then had someone hold it, tip placed in the soft bottom part of our neck below the adam's apple - and walked into it.

*Do not try this at home! If you don't know how to do it properly, don't do it at all!*

It's a disconcerting feeling to be sure. The arrows snap of course but you have to break through that feeling of certainty that you're about to kill yourself. It is powerful.

And it is what life is ultimately all about. Or ought to be. Breaking out of your comfort zone. ALL your comfort zones, one arrow at a time. Especially when it feels like doing so will be the end of you.

Since that day, that is exactly what I've been doing. Consistantly breaking out of my comfort zones. A Lion rediscovering his heart and his roar.

That's all I have time for today but I'll fill you in more later.

Don't Mind the Crowd

2011-04-29T16:33:00.000-04:00

One of the most discouraging things anyone faces as they try to elevate themselves to a new level of being is the 'wisdom' of friends and family who think you should 'get real' and 'stop dreaming'.

Surprisingly the further down the ladder you are, the worse it is. I've found that people simply don't want to see you succeed, because if you do, then it's going to force them to have to reevaluate their own lives. Possibly have to make some hard decisions and make some changes. IE: It makes them uncomfortable.

They are locked into their limited mindsets and would rather sit there in that (dis)comfort zone - the pain they know - rather than try something different. They are afraid of failure (and/or success) and don't want you bursting their bubble.

This is nothing new and I've blogged about it in thecuphalffull.com. It can be difficult for people to deal with because you need to either develop a thick skin or find new friends who are more supportive or open-minded.

What is even more difficult is when those that do support you, leave, suggesting you don't have what it takes. Particularly if it's a spouse or loved one.   That can really be a huge blow to your ego and confidence.

I suggest you do two things: 1) Listen and learn - Odds are they have some solid justification for they way they feel. You probably can't see what they see, which is all the more reason to use this time to really listen to what they are saying, perhaps between the lines and reflect on yourself.

They have a different prespective of you than you do and likely see things in you that you cannot see for yourself.   It's like having a mole on the back of your neck.   Without a mirror you cannot see it for what it is but everyone else can.

2) Keep on going anyway! Okay, you have issues. Maybe you have some hang-ups you're still trying to get over or habits that need addressing or skeleton's in your closet. Welcome to life. Everyone does. So what? Do you think world leaders don't have some issues? Or CEOs? Of course they do.

I'm not suggesting you ignore yours. Listen, learn and do something about those things that hinder you. I am suggesting you don't let the fact that you are not currently perfect (and guess what? Never will be...) stop your momentum.   No one is perfect. Those people who lost faith in you aren't perfect either.   Perhaps they have it together more in some area of their life, but inevitably you have it together more in others.   Quite likely the real reason they left is because you're not up to carrying their baggage. Awww... Too bad. Let them carry their own baggage themselves - builds character. Regardless of what the situation may be, it's no excuse to stop.

You might want to solicite some second (and third, forth, fifth) opinions. Were they right? Do other people see the same faults?   Feedback is a wonderful thing. It enables you to identify areas of development that you might not have otherwise seen. Conversely, it also softens the blow if someone is over-reacting to something you've done. Either way you gain a better perspective of where you are and where you need to be.

Canfield Coaching - One Week After

2011-04-15T14:35:00.000-04:00

The title is a little misleading as I'm still doing the Canfield Coaching but the 12 weeks of scheduled coaching sessions are over.    I can still do the exercises on my own and call the coaching hotline until the end of the year.

However, now that I don't have anyone calling me to see how I'm doing, how am I doing?

Overall... Great!

The thing I'm most pleased with is the resiliency of my mental game.   Feeling very upbeat and positive despite the current situation which frankly isn't all that great.

Let's look at some of the various areas

Writing - Going great. Finished the 3 critiques needed prior to posting my own stuff. Posted Isecas The Dream Cat and the Flood (working title) which has gotten positive feedback. Still doing critiques and enjoying helping others.

Isagenix - Ah... going. Still haven't gotten a second person signed up. Person number one is pleased with her results and plans on continuing as I am myself but my technique definitely needs work. I've been trying to 'sell' it and that's not the right approach. It's more of listening to people and providing it as an answer to their solutions but not as a hard sell, as a very soft sell gently massaged in often over multiple discussions.   So I still sold on the product, and sold on the opportunity but it means I have to develop skillsets I currently don't have - but need! Social skills and networking.   The opportunity to develop those in a supportive environment and profit from those is enticing.

Career - Been dragging my heels on this as I didn't have a clear idea what I was doing.   Was discussing with a Canfield coach and that helped shape my thinking.   I know what I want to be doing (until my writing/Isagenix can support me) which is Life Coaching.   Now I have to figure out how.

Relationships - Did I mentioned overall things weren't so great? Here's why. Due do some unidentified and therefore unaddressed personal issues, I torpedoed my budding relationship.   I am disappointed that it is (currently) over but I am seeing this as a beginning not an ending.   It situation has brought the glaring personal fault under the microscope and has allowed me to attack it and work on extracting it.   Otherwise, I am confident that we'll get back together, however a break is now needed so women of the world - rejoice - you have a chance!    However, currently I'm focused on resolving this flaw not getting into a new relationship.

Other - I've volunteered to at Covenant House - a shelter for homeless teens and they were most pleased with my application.   I've been in touch with them quite a bit but they do not have a need at the moment, however, they will be in touch when one arises.
             I've modded my Wii. Doesn't sound important but considering how much time I used to waste in stores looking for a bargain to add to my collection, this is a huge time (and money) saver.   I can hear the cries of 'Pirate!' but the Wii is near the end of it's life, I'm getting the imports and excessively rare games I cannot purchase (or could otherwise never play due to region lock) and besides that, I don't even play half the games I do buy!
             Getting contacts today - so working on improving my image.
            Still doing Coaching exercises.   Have one more do to, then I'll have to decide if I want to redo some or all of them again for reinforcement.

That's enough details of my life for now. I'm off to start living it some more. Excelsior!

Canfield Coaching - An Open Letter to Jack Canfield

2011-04-03T11:31:00.003-04:00

This coming Wednesday marks the last of my scheduled coaching calls. I was requested to post a Youtube video of my successes with this program but I deferred as I did not feel I had anything worthy of publicly talking about. So instead I was asked to write a letter 'directly' to Jack Canfield about my experience.

An Open Letter to Jack Canfield

Dear Jack Canfield,

At the request of my coach, Gary Reid, I'm writing this open letter to you (open because it's posted on my blog) regarding my success with your coaching program.

First off, allow me to congratulate you on the outstanding success you have managed to achieve, you are a beckon of hope to us all. Secondly, thank you for your tireless efforts to help others to achieve their own success.

As for the coaching program, when I started I assigned two determining factors to measure the success of the program. 1) That I had fundamentally and permanently altered my life for the better (so that I'm happy, healthy, wealthy and wise and helping others to achieve the same) 2) That the changes I had made would generate enough additional income to more than pay for the program.

At this point, I have not made any additional income whatsoever, although I have set in motion some ventures that (hopefully) will enable that. And while I have made some fundamental changes, I cannot conclude at this juncture about their permanence. After all, I have been trying to make permanent change to my life (to start living the life I truly want) for almost twenty-five years now. I have had gradual improvement and periods of 'success' but not sustained success in that time. In short, the jury is still out on if this program has been a net benefit or net loss.

I am in a better place mentally than I was at the start of this program. I have made some new distinctions and formed new habits. Gary and the coaches on the coach line have helped me to gain clarity on various issues. I found the exercises helpful. I have made various changes to my life. I do intend to read the book again, listen to the CDs again, go through the exercises again, and continue to use the coach line on at least a weekly basis.

I have not made a measurable breakthrough in my life. I have not achieved any new level of success (yet). I have not (yet) raise any additional income as a result of enrolling in this coaching program. I did not gain much in the way of meaningful new knowledge. In fact, I almost always answered all my own questions (which Gary brilliantly lead me to). I do see the value in that but consequently do not feel that I 'gained' much. True, it's not so much about knowing, it's about actually doing. Doing continues to be an ongoing struggle, some days are great, some not so great.

Particularly I continue to struggle with being organized, I struggle to remain focused, I struggle to remain driven. Despite all the goal setting, affirmations, reminders, etc. I can become complacent alarmingly quickly and am constantly engaged in a war with myself to break out of that mode.

If I sound less than optimistic, it is because there is some trepidation as to if this is going to be the breakthrough I've been looking for or just another false start. Add to that some fear. This is my last attempt. This is my make-it-or-break-it year where I either break out of my limiting patterns and start living the life I want, or after 25 years of study, spending thousands on various success materials and programs and finally on this coaching, if I cannot make a significant difference in my life - then I will be forced to admit that either all this success thinking and Law of Attraction stuff is just hype or that I am simply beyond help. By the end of this year I will either be living a life on my own terms, making income the way I want and on my way to living life the way I want, or I will stop wasting time and money trying to improve myself and meekly accept my life as a bored and uninspired civil servant, and find ways to distract myself from the drudgery of my life until it's finally over.

Yes, the program has helped, but the first quarter is over, my assigned coaching time is over. The rest is up to me now. That's not a comforting thought. I feel like the chick about to be pushed from the nest without any sense on if my wings are strong enough to enable me to fly.

Whatever answers you have for me are already in The Success Principles, in the exercises or available through the coaches. I will continue to strive forward and endeavor to find them. Continue to try to make Isagenix (which I started in part thanks to your recommendation) profitable, continue to try to make my writing profitable, look for new, more engaging work, find more enterprising and inspiring people to be around, continue to work on my relationship and life in general.

I am optimistic things will continue to improve and I will shed all the limiting patterns that have plagued me for so long. One thing is certain, I no longer take comfort from my comfort zone. Anytime I find myself there, it is evermore a source of alarm.

I trust I'll be able to write back to you in another three months, with a far more progressive and positive report.

Yours Truly,

Preston Squire

Hiding in the Closet Part 2

2011-04-01T01:03:00.000-04:00

Back in October of 2009 I wrote an blog entitled Hiding in the Closet. It was probably the best damn thing I've ever written here. Not because it was exceptionally well worded, or intelligent - it wasn't. But because it was true. That was me at my core. A little boy, hiding in a closet, struggling with depression, afraid of dealing with the outside world.

Odds are, if you are reading this, you, like I, want to break free from the life you're living. I want it so bad. You can see through this blog/dairy how I've struggled, trying one thing after another. Getting myself out of my comfort zone and then, when I'm really started to break free - I backtrack.

It's that God-damn closet. The God damn closet I hid in as a child. It's still there in my mind, in my essence. When I get moving too far, suddenly I stop and distract myself with TV, games, internet, people. Yeah? So what? Isn't that what everyone does?

Yes, that is what the vast majority of people do. Hide in their comfort-zone closets, afraid to break free.

God gave me an image over New Years 2010 of a huge table with every conceivable dish on it. Every food from all over the world was there from the simplest rice dish to the fanciest caviar. It was there for everyone to feast on. Yet most everyone ate from only what was near the edge. The food they grew up on, because that's what they knew. They were afraid to try other things, afraid they wouldn't like it, or afraid it wasn't meant for them. So they stuck to what they knew.

But IT WAS ALL FOR THEM! COME FORWARD BOLDLY AND TAKE YOUR SHARE God offers, but almost no one listens. We trap ourselves in the closets of our minds, then distract ourselves from that truth so we don't have to face the fact that we could all be more than what we are currently exhibiting. "We don't know how!" we cry. But the truth is, we don't want to know. We are afraid if we knew, we'd have to do something. Something, different. Something outside of our comfort zone.

So here I am once again, making progress in all sorts of areas of my life - I'm as fit as I've ever been, I have a promising career with Isagenix - as a nice lucrative side business, getting my writing going, my relationship is going well and I want to stop and lose myself in trivial things.

I'm stepping out of my comfort zone, and although the potential rewards are amazing, the pain and discomfort are immediate. Good. Good. It's good to be in pain. I'm in physical discomfort right now from hitting the gym. Anyone who body builds will tell you that's a good thing. No pain/no gain. If I'm not sore, then I haven't worked myself hard enough to build muscle.

Right now I'm sore and in spiritual discomfort. I'm exercising my livelihood. Part of me wants to stop, to make that pain and discomfort go away. But I can't. I can't and I won't. I can't do it. I can't settle. I can't live in that Goddamn fucking closet anymore! I have to get out. There's life out there. There's caviar to eat on that table. I don't want to miss it all.

So even though I'm scared, even though I want to stop, even though I want to take solace in the little things, I can't. It's too late for me now. I look in the mirror and I don't see a little boy anymore. I've always seen a little boy. I had never grown up. I look in the mirror and I see a man, fit, slim, trim, and full of promise.

As infants, we have to learn to put down our soothers or pacifiers. As children we have to leave behind our teddys and security blankets. As teenagers, we must give up our childish ways and accept responsibilities. And as adults, we must give up our comfort zones - time and again.

Come join me in stepping outside of the comfort zone - there's life out there. Let's live it!

Canfield Coaching

2011-03-19T17:43:00.000-04:00

Okay, not sure what to talk about today. Nothing really new to report. Feeling better on the Isagenix program. Can't wait to see the end results after a month. Tomorrow I begin my 'cleanse' period where I detox my body. That should be interesting. Everyone tends to lose some weight over the cleanse, and have more energy and mental alertness afterwards. Can't wait!

Canfield Coaching - Isagenix and other matters

2011-03-17T16:57:00.000-04:00

Since the last post I'm please to say the coaching line was helping in helping me pare down my list and bring it to two to three items to focus on:

Writing - Which has always been a passion of mine. I was working on my self-help book Foundation: Timeless Prinicipals for Freeing Your True Potential. However, as my overarching goal is to make $150,000 this year, and I had no marketing plan for it, I've decided to shelf it for the time being and work on getting the works I have finished published first.

To that end, I've joined a writers association, and a critique group within that association so I can get feedback on my works, improve them and resubmit them to agents/publishers.

Further downstream, I will revisit Foundation and also want to self-publish a comic book series.

Isagenix - Ironically, this was not even on my list, however it seems all gurus recommend multiple sources of income and acknowledge the right multi-level-marketing program can be a good part of that mix. Jack Canfield himself endorses Isagenix and at this time my friend - who is a personal trainer - obtained a new client. A self-made millionaire who earned her wealth through Isagenix, a product my friend already used regularly but had never sold. Seeing is believing so she's got involved and after seeing the health benefits it's had on her and her friend, I took a serious look and decided to give it a try.

Basically, the product works - it makes you lose weight and feel great by cleansing and nutrienting your body. Because people lose weight and feel great, others want to know what they are doing and the product sells itself.

I've just started on the product myself - this is my 4th day. Am feeling some benefits, and have become appalled by the amount of sugar and utter junk that our society shoves in our faces everyday. It's no wonder we have an obesity problem when whatever store you go into literally surrounds you with sugar and junk food.

On the flip side I've been overworking my body by cleansing and working out simultaneously. One of the higher ups, a professional coach, gave me some great feedback on that which should help my program immensely.

The third thing, would be looking for a new 9-5 job. This would be a doubled edge sword actually, as having a position where my pay was more inline with performance would certainly encourage me to work at a higher level, at the same time, I have plenty of free time in this job to do things like write this blog, critique stories (and have mine critiqued) and do a bit of Isagenix work or coaching work.

Canfield Coaching - Decisions, Decisions

2011-03-07T18:27:00.000-05:00

As mentioned previously, I changed my 'breakthrough goal' from writing an e-book to making $150,000 in 2011 - originally the e-book was a piece of the $150,000 puzzle.

However, in brainstorming ways to make $150,000, I quickly came up with 11 well realized concepts, 8 of which I has already started (and mostly set aside). Obviously I can't do 11 different things, so I had to go through the process of sizing each one up and determining how effective it would be in reaching my goal.

After a few hours work I narrowed it down to two: Getting Isecas the Dream Cat (series of children's books) published and creating travel Apps for Ontario cities (which don't have it seems). The e-book was close but these two represented much better prospects for making significant money - this year.

However, my on/off girlfriend and chastized me for not sticking to my 'true purpose' - writing for kids, in particular, writing comics. Why is that my true purpose? That's a long story for another time, just trust me on that one for now.

I had considered it, it showed up twice in the 11 ideas in different forms, but being an independant comic writer (especially one who can't illustrate) is really hard - or at least, that's been my experience of it from my time in the industry. Most people who attempt it lose their shirts trying.   The start-up costs are huge. The development time needed substancial. Getting distributed, let alone noticed, is a major hurdle, especially for a complete unknown.   The odds are heavily stacked against me, and the possibility of earning $150,000 in 2011 from doing it are completely non-existant to any conventional thinking.   Ending up $150,000 in debt is far more likely.

However, that's not positive thinking, following my passion, purpose or being in accordance to God. It's just looking at reality and saying 'it's not possible' which, I'm sure most people would agree, is just plain common sense. However, I'm guilty of saying it myself, if you want an uncommon result, you need uncommon sense.

The fact is, while no one has ever gotten rich quick doing it, people have gotten rich. Famously Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird who created Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles . More recently Jeff Smith of Bone.   Lots of others have made a living doing it, many even getting movie deals in the process.

Problem remains, unless I come up with some completely revolutionary way to making money off the industry, pursuing a career in comics will not only not help me to reach my $150,000 goal, it would in all probabability move me much further from that goal as the start up costs kick in long before profit does.

So what to do?   That is a question I'm about to pose to the coach line and we'll see what they think. I'll post the answer.

Canfield Coaching - Now This is How You Work a Program

2011-03-04T17:00:00.000-05:00

As stated in my last post, last week I was doing a module on Wealth and realized that I - still - had a 'scarcity' mindset which needed to be broken.  In particular, concepts like, "It is easier to get a camel through the eye of a needle, than a rich man to heaven" had me associating wealth with a lack of spirituality. So while I physically wanted wealth, at a deeper spiritual level I pushed it away.

This wasn't a new revelation but the exercises did help to clarify my belief on the matter. I knew that in order for me to accomplish any of the things I really wanted to do, that they would involve greater wealth as a consequence and I simply had to shatter that old paradigm.

So of my own accord I committed myself to calling the 'Coach Help Line' every day, as well as using affirmations.  While I have always had unlimited use of the coach line, this was the first time I was actually making use of it in a meaningful way.

I've talked to two men and two women, other than my own coach, on the line and it's been a great experience. They are all terrific coaches and all have their own way of thinking. Some focus more on Law of Attraction, others are more pragmatic and focused on goal setting and action.   It's been really great to get such a range of tools and ideas poured out onto me.   It's only encouraging me to use the line more.

However, it's also caused me to have to rethink what I'm doing.    When I originally set my 'breakthrough goal' to work on, I decided to make it finishing my E-book: Foundation: Timeless Principals for Freeing Your True Potential.   However, one of the coaches asked me if I had a financial goal - which I did and immediately stated to earn $150,000.00 this year (not overly ambitious I know but certainly enough to break me out of my current set ways and limited thinking).  Then she asked if I had a plan on how to do that.   Ah... no... "Well don't you think seeing some money come in would help break that mindset?" she asks. Ah... yes...?

Sure my e-book should, with some luck and hard work, make me some money, but that wasn't a part of the goal or the plan really. As it was set, if I had made a couple hundred off of it, I would have considered it a success.   Which begged the question - why would I set it out like that? The answer to which was all too obvious.

So I changed my breakthrough goal to earning $150,000.00 in 2011 through my written work.   I then brainstormed how I could make that happen and immediately came up with eleven flushed out concepts for accomplishing that, including Foundation.  All of which are full time careers in and of themselves (at least for a period of time) and 8 of which I'm already have at some point of completion.

Huh?

Yeah, I have or rather, had, a problem. I'm great at starting and not so good at finishing it seems.   I'm certainly not the only one, however, at least I now know why. My scarcity thinking keeps me from aggressively pursuing wealth. So I work on what may be a great money making concept, for months, or even years but never actually make money. Eventually I get frustrated and petter out. Why?  Because deep-down I didn't want to. I never really set myself up to.

Even with Foundation, my current project, I find myself with a pre-release version all ready to go, but no way for anyone to pre-order the actual book.   While I only have so many hours in the day, you would still think I would have at least gotten something set up. But no....    I can only smile at myself at this point.   At least now my own follies are obvious to me and all I can do is continue to progress to breaking down those limiting beliefs and instilling new ones.

With the now daily help of the coach line, I'm feeling more confident than ever that this fundamental flaw will be broken.

Canfield Coaching - Prosperity Thinking

2011-02-22T18:46:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since I've last posted. Normally that's a sign I'm off my game and not focused. However, this time it's the exact opposite. I've been so focused on what I'm doing; coaching materials, writing my e-book, working other programs, building relationships and going on vacation, that blogging continually falls off the bottom of the 'To-do' list.

Usually I do post from work, however, my work schedule has been very full as well recently.   It's finally calmed down a bit so I'm back to blogging as long as that lasts.

I now have a back-log of stuff I'd love to tell you all, but for now, let's stick with what's current. If time allows I'll backtrack in future posts.

The focus in the coaching right now is on Money and Success. FINALLY!! After all, who doesn't want money and success? Well, actually, I didn't for a very long time. Some money, of course, enough to live comfortably but really, beyond that, although I had some lofty goals, I didn't have an inate desire for more. I had, and am currently working on breaking, a poverty consciousness.

Poverty consciousnesses, are actually quite common. There are so many misconceptions about money and how to earn it, and what type of person you have to be in order to earn it, that people stop themselves from achieving more.   They believe, through subconscious ingrained beliefs that wealth is somehow difficult or impossible to attain, that you need to be especially gifted, or exceptionally well educated or obsessively driven to attain it, or they believe that 'rich' people are inherently bad. That wealthy individuals are selfish because they don't share their wealth (which is largely a lie), that they live a life style you wouldn't be comfortable living, that they are shallow being consumed with money above all else, or that they stepped all over everyone else in order to get to where they are now.

With the occassional exception, this is simply not the case. Most millionaires are decidedly average people. They do not lead an exceptionally extravagent lifestyle. Studies show most millionaires, dress casually, drive older used vehicles, and have jobs that people do not consider exceptional.   The real difference, is they are wealth conscious.

Poverty conscious people think in terms of lack. They focus on what they don't have the money for. That they need more money to be happy. That spending money will make them happy, if only they had more to spend. They want to earn more, but even when they do - through hard work, they still end up living beyond their means, running up large credit card debts. Sometimes, they get caught up in trying to live a 'wealthy' lifestyle - 'keeping up with the Jones' but are living on borrowed money and borrowed time.

"Far too many people spend money they don't have, to buy things they don't need, to impress people they don't like."

To this group Money is an end. They believe becoming rich will enable them to buy those things that make them happy, feel secure and joyeous.
Wealth conscious people aren't focused on the lack of money, regardless of their financial circumstances. Instead they are focused on how to use the money on hand to build wealth. They pay themselves first (it's recommended to give yourself 10% first). Then they use that money for investments, assets, or business opportunities. They look to create things of value, because anything of value to people has intrinsic worth. They also think in terms of wealth and value. This is why they commonly own used cars. The instant you drive a new car off the lot it losses 30% of it's value. After the first couple years it can be down 50%. A used vehicle on the other had doesn't suffer from that sort of vast depreciation.   They can sell it after a year for about 80-90% of what they paid.   They want to look good, but they look to buy good quality at cheap prices. They ask for discounts. They bargain. They use the money on hand and if they can't get what they want for the price they are willing to pay, they do without. They find joy in the savings of money, and the building of net worth.

To this group money is merely a means to an end. They believe by cutting back and doing with less now, will enable them to enjoy more later. They are right.

When poverty conscious people dream of being rich, they envision having a million dollars on hand and start devising how they are going to spend that money. However, unless they are superrich or just won a lottery, millionaires do not have a million dollars to spend. They are worth a million or millions of dollars. Their money is invested in stocks, bonds, businesses, real estate and other assets. They are not considering spending any of it, just living off the revenue it generates. Of the revenue that their money generates, a lot is perpetually put right back into more investments, constantly growing their wealth.

Do you need money to make money? Yes, there's no denying the potent power of compound interest, but you have to start somewhere, just like anyone.   Most millionaires did not start off rich. They made their money by building wealth and creating value for others.  Every year there are another 100,000 millionaires in the United States. The majority of them started right where you are now.   If you start to use your money as a tool, paying yourself first, investing it and looking for ways to use it to create value for others (building businesses), you will also start to increase in wealth.

Before you can do that though, you need to break your poverty mindset. Here is a trick they use in Canfield coaching.

1)Write down every bad association you have heard about money.   IE: "Money doesn't grow on trees," "Rich people should share their wealth" (assumes they don't and are selfish), "You need money to make money," "Everyone can't be a millionaire," "We can't, we don't have the money.", etc.

2)Write down all the ones you relate too or think yourself.

One I identified was the Mark 10:25 "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." I believed having wealth made one unspiritual. So I subconsciously fought against having it.    It is true that you can only have one God. If you are looking to money to solve all your problems - that is your god. However Jesus also said "I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." ~ John 10:10.
The best things in life are free, but they are still enhanced with money. Wealth is a necessity for anyone wanting peace of mind, freedom to travel and learn, and the ability to help others. God must be the answer to your problems, but money is an effective tool for doing the work of the Lord. The more you have the more effective you can be.

3)Take the prominant belief and make fun of it or turn it around.
So "Money doesn't grow on trees" can become "Money is made from trees, trees are everywhere, so there's potential wealth all over!"
"You have to step on people to get ahead" becomes, "We get ahead by working with other people"

4)Create a new empowering statement and declare this statement to yourself, empathically, three times a day, every day for 30 days. The more feeling you can muster behind it, the more ingrained it becomes in your subconscious, overwriting old limiting beliefs.

I now pay myself 10% first. 5% straight to investments and 5% to a 'New Business Venture Capital' account.   This will enable me to market my book, work on my website, invest in a multi-level-marketing side business or any other opportunity I see.

I am focuses on dressing like I'm wealthy, acting like I'm wealthy, thinking like I'm wealthy and when I do that consistantly, I will naturally become wealthy, for I am doing, thinking and being as wealthy people do.

There is no magic trick for wealth. The rules of the road are well documented and easy to find if you look for them. However, most people are looking for a get-rich-quick scheme or to win the lottery.   There's no scheme and 90% of lottery winners end up financially worse off in five years of winning.   Why? Because they are still poverty minded. Looking to money to solve their problems and they spend it - all.   If they were wealth minded, they'd immediately get financial help, invest 90% and live off the 10% (donating from the 10%, giving family and friends from the 10%, etc.) until the rest starts generating cash flow. Doesn't sound nearly as appealing does it? But that would set them up for life, instead of a few years of glory and then back to poverty. Plus, since they now have a nice work-free income to live off of, they have their whole lives to find more ways to - create more wealth and value! Which generates more money, which they can partly use to create more wealth and value, which makes more money, which... etc., etc.

Canfield Coaching - Core competency

2011-01-21T08:21:00.000-05:00

Don't have much time here today so I'll keep this brief.

One of the things I picked up from the Canfield Coaching materials is the concept of sticking to one's core competency. Stick to what you're good at and the things you're not particularly good at or don't enjoy doing, delegate out as much as possible. This is in like with other works I've been hearing about, and I decided to apply it.

I had a job I'd been hired to do (writing) which definitely wasn't my core competency nor was I motivated to do it, so I delegated it out, loosing some of the net worth of the agreement but still, getting it fulfilled (I hope, we have to see how this turns out) without it sucking up all my time and energy.

Next I want to apply that to my book - Dillon's Dilemma. Getting someone else to work on finishing it, even if it means sharing writing credits and revenue. Better it get done than remain undone.

As those two were my most pressing matters prior to the coaching call, and I had already answered my own questions, it didn't leave much for my coach to do other than confirm I'm on the right track.

This week the assignment is on time management, and for that I'm glad as that's an area I probably need a lot of help in. lol.

Canfield Coaching - Goal Setting Part B

2011-01-17T22:43:00.000-05:00

I could just erase the original blog post now, but I won't because I think it's important you see the struggles as well as successes.

Just as I was finishing writing that, my accountability partner called and after listening to me grip for a bit, reminded me my top value was God Faring, not Canfield Coaching faring, and maybe I should look to God for direction.

Ironically, I already had. I just hadn't liked the answer the Lord had given me. Lol! Often, I'll pose a question to the Lord in a bedside journal and in the morning, write down whatever first comes to mind which is often amazingly insightful (if I don't over-think it and just let it flow without my own mind jumping in). I had already asked the question and the answer I got (which I had to check, because I'd mentally discarded it) was not to work on my novel, as I put down in the Canfield Coaching exercises but instead to finish my e-book in time for my accountability partner to use it to help promote her own work.

To me, that was just a short term goal and since I don't know how I'll really make money off it yet, or really promote it, I didn't consider it as a 'breakthrough' goal as Canfield was asking for. However, my accountability partner is right, God knows more than I do. Really I want to see the whole plan, so I know why I'm bothering to do this now, but like a soldier on the battlefield, I don't know the plan, I won't know the plan and it's probably best I don't, so I just focus on what it is I'm doing right now. I'm sure God will make more clear to me as I do as He instructs.

At any rate, setting that goal was a whole lot more fun and exciting than the novel. It's something I can finish relatively quickly, looks to be interesting and engage me creatively on different levels (need a cover, and marketing). The rewards, in whatever form they come in, will be much more immediate as well.

So many thanks to my accountability partner, I know she's reading this ( Love you! ) and of course to God for always providing me with guidance even when I'm a little to thick-headed to follow right away and need some extra encouragement (please help me to be more diligent in future Lord. Love you too!).

So while it took most of today and good chucks of Thursday, Friday and Saturday, I got all my assignments done a day early again. Whew! Time for bed. Later.

Canfield Coaching - Goal Setting

2011-01-17T21:18:00.000-05:00

Spent the better part of today working through all the goal setting exercises in the Canfield Coaching module.

The idea of goal setting is of course to
A) Determine what you want, clearly, and make is measurable
B) Determine what you'll focus on first and foremost
C) Break it down into individual steps
D) Make a daily action plan
E) Go!
F) Motivate and inspire you to pursue your goals

Well, I listed out my various goals (again, that's nothing new), and assigned dates to them (again nothing new for the major ones at any rate), and broke them down into individual steps. Also nothing new, although I haven't done it quite to the extent Canfield suggests.

Am I motivated? Oh hell... no! Totally de-motivated by this exercise. Looking at what I picked for my 'Breakthrough Goal', and all the steps involved, and work involved, and cost involved. Four years of work, plus hundreds of dollar, plus more work to come up with those hundreds of dollar not in my budget, with of course, no guarantee of success and in fact, Canfield himself gives accounts of people trying and failing (only to try again and eventually succeed). The thought of investing upwards of four years, plus spending even more money, after the five years and hundreds I've already spent trying to realize this goal, just is not exciting me in the slightest little bit. In fact, it's making being a bum and just kicking back and playing video games while I cruise in my comfy government job, sound, oh, so appealing. It's no wonder I did that for that last year. I was burnt out.

Of course, I didn't pay all this money for coaching just to quit. And really, I wish the coaching line was open at this time.... or is it? Nope, just missed them. Forgot they are on the west coast and there's a 3 hour time difference (or is it four because of Daily Savings Time?). Regardless, I missed them, so I'll have to wait until tomorrow to get their feedback into my present mindset.

Canfield Coaching - My New Values

2011-01-15T23:14:00.001-05:00

It took some time and dedicated effort but I now have a set of values that truly inspires and excites me.

As this is an important step and one you may benefit from as well, I will step you through the process I took and explain how I got to my current list of values.

First I just wrote out all those values that are important to me. I did this based on what currently drives me, my current thoughts, actions and beliefs. So this list reflected those values that I currently respond to and work towards.

I then took the time to put them in priority from most important to least. This can be a difficult process as often it's hard to choose one over the other, but I merely took them, one by one and gave myself an either/or choice between the one I was working on and every other value on the list. If I could only have one, which would I choose? Which has won out in the past? As long as the one I was working with won out, I stuck with it, if another won out, I'd continue down the list with it instead. I continued this for each.

I was quite surprised by how some ranked. For example, my top value was honesty/integrity. To be ranked number one meant I'd rather have people think I'm honest then love me, and I'd rather be honest than loving and responsible. Did this cause me pain? You bet!! Brutal and often unnecessary honesty caused a lot of unneeded tension in my relationships. Obviously, I'm not promoting dishonesty, but this is fear-based honesty. Some part of my subconscious deemed it necessary to tell the truth, almost at all costs, to avoid pain, but really this often created pain that simply didn't need to exist. Ironically, because of my major moving-away from values (pain) was 'people thinking I lacked integrity' and pain trumps pleasure, I would occasionally omit the truth, when, if by not doing so, would cause them to question my integrity. If asked, I'd always admit the truth (as blatant lying would call my integrity into question even internally) but this is still self-defeating. Now you might think that's normal behaviour but I was so tied up with maintaining integrity that I'd be hiding the truth, not because it might hurt someone, or because I had done something wrong, in most cases I had done nothing wrong at all, but the mere thought that what I had done could be misconstrued would cause me to want to hide it, then when questioned, admit it (even if it wasn't a loving or responsible thing to do), which just caused hurt or raised suspicion that I must be hiding something. Talk about ineffective values alignment.

Next, I listed those things I moved away from. Those things which drove me to take action to avoid them. I then put them in order as well.

So my initial list - showing what was driving me to act to gain pleasure or avoid pain came out as follows:

Towards Values Away Values

Honesty / Integrity Perceived lack of integrity
Love Hatred
Responsibility Humiliation
Family Anger
Spirituality/God Depression
Learning & Growing Loneliness
Health Boredom
Respect Uncertainty
Fun/Adventure
Creativity/Ingenuity
Contribution
Peace of mind
Intelligence
Financial diligence
Generousity
Security
Freedom

This is a very useful exercise to understand what's currently driving me and shaping my life but at this point it's not very effective for moving forward. In the past I'd have taken the extra step of rearrange them into a more logical and productive order but that's about it. And then I'd normally forget about them. Why wouldn't I? They were the values I'd been living everyday.

But this time, following Anthony Robbin's direction (in his book Awaken the Giant Within), I took it further. I laid out what were the characteristics of the person who I aspired to become. Then I asked, to become this person, are there other values, I currently don't have that I needed to adopt. There sure was!! One that dramatically stuck out was that I wanted to be successful (financial abundance, fame, recognition, etc) yet nothing in my current values aspired to that. There were several others as well.

Then I looked at the expanded list and for each asked, 'If this necessary? What does it cost me to have this value? To have it here on this list?' I removed a couple and reordered them in the order that would be required to most effectively drive me to become the person I had just described wanting to be.

In doing so I really challenged myself on certain ones. Most notably, moving Spirituality and God Faring to number one. Although I'm a little ashamed to admit it, there was a lot of resistance to this move. However, after some debate it was very clear the pros of that move far outweighed the perceived negatives which really were all baseless fears, like I would lose my freedom, that I wouldn't have any fun, that I'd become a religious stick-in-the-mud. Even as I moved through today, it became clear, that this was the right choice though. Placing it as number one also allowed me to drop several other values, such as integrity and responsibility as leaving a life in accordance to God would necessitate those traits anyway.

I did the same for the 'moving away from list' taken out some things which, while unpleasant, shouldn't be discouraging me from taking appropriate action.

Lastly I wrote out what each of those values meant to me. This was more productive than I initially thought it'd be, as it really helped to clarify what each meant and promoted me to merge/eliminate and even add some values to the list as the bigger picture of what they stood for, individually and collectively became clear.

What follows is that detailed list of my new values. I was initially hesitant to put that here but what a better way to create leverage than to publicly declare what they are so people can hold me accountable to them?

Spiritual/God Faring – I seek both constant communion with my Higher Source (God) and to live in obedience to God’s will. Drawing on God for a source of greater wisdom, greater strength, greater understanding and grace. To read the bible (and other holy works) through to gain a greater understanding of God’s will.

Health / Vitality – To ensure my own health and vitality (and that of those around me) to enable me to achieve at the highest levels. To exercise, eat right (nutritionally, sufficiently), be energetic (get enough sleep, vitamins), look after my well-being (be proactive in defending against illness, seek help and advice when needed).

Lead / Passionate – To not wait for others, but to take the initiative and act when need arises, opportunity presents itself or as prompted by God. To make decisions based on what’s best for me and others. To really believe in myself, my God and my goals, passionately with joy and vigor. To consider the bigger picture, to choose that which is best for all, to consider how my decisions and actions may affect others. To do that which has the bigger long term gain or benefit. To be aware of what other’s may hope to gain or lose.

Love / Compassion / Social – To love all and be compassionate. To place a high value on love, making room for it in my life and giving freely of love. To show genuine compassion and interest for others, including strangers and those who might be considered enemies. To take an active interest in people and learn from them what I can. To pour into others and be someone everyone would be happy to call ‘friend’. For people are my second greatest resource (after God), and a seed planted here will reap me thirty, sixty a hundred times over.

Family – My family is my responsibility and I always look to provide for them, to help them to grow and develop and to provide a loving, nurturing environment. To help my (grand)children (and nieces and nephews) succeed in life and to be a wonderful, giving, caring and fitting partner to my wife.

Literate – To use the gifts God’s given me to teach, enlighten and entertain as many as I can through writing, public speaking, creative initiative and use of various media to transmit a heart warming mission of hope, faith and success. To touch people’s hearts, minds and souls with stories that provide a welcome distraction from their realities and provide them with the profound knowledge to improve their realities.

Fun / Adventure – To enjoy the hell out of life! To look for ways to sprinkle joy in all I do. To be entertaining and fun to be around. To take vacations and travel, exploring new things and activities. To partake of all that life has to offer (without killing or seriously injuring myself or others). To be daring and adventurous, not afraid to take chances (smart ones). To be bold but always with a smile and twinkle in my eye. If life is a game, play to win, but also enjoy the game and help others to win too.

Achievement / Status – To always challenge myself to do more, to live a life that’s happy, healthy, wealthy and wise. To be the living embodiment of success. Fit, healthy body, financial prosperity, business acumen and development (of my creative ventures), to be known and respected for my works, to be able to reach more people because of my wealth and fame, to dress for success (look sharp), to own nice things (house, cars, toys, travel), have a dynamic and passionate love life and wonderful family life. To be wise and learned. To be a bright light in the world. To show down-to-earth compassion and live a life of contribution. To be an example for others. Not to try to be superhuman nor perfect but to live joyeously at the highest level by moving boldly, confidently, and in alignment to God and my values.

Personal Development – To always be looking to expand myself, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically, through education, exercise (not just physical) and coaching. To always be learning and sharing. To always keeping myself engaged and challenged. To not settle but have fun expanding myself, my knowledge and my spirituality. To keep an open mind to new concepts. To remain current with the times, using what the world offers to reach and impact the most people, especially the young.

Contribution – Although this is written in throughout my values, to always be looking for ways to give back to the world. To leave this world better than I found it. To help others. To teach, enlighten and entertain. To use my time, money, fame and literary gifts to help the less fortunate. To look for ways to leave a lasting legacy, with gifts that keep on giving.

Next on my to-do list: Do the Canfield Coaching module on goal setting (now based on my new values)

Canfield Coaching - A Value-Able Lesson

2011-01-14T18:08:00.000-05:00

As I look to (re)start a values driven life, I'm going through Anthony Robbin's Awaken the Giant Within, which has a great chapter on values.   Yes, I know you're probably more interested in Canfield Coaching, but despite the fact my coach got me onto redoing my values (see last post - Eureka...?) it's doesn't appear to be one of the things Jack Canfield teaches. At least not that he had a pre-made lesson on in the coaching program or I've yet to come across in the book/tapes.

Now I have done a values exercise in the past few years, but amazingly, I haven't done it the Anthony Robbin's way.   This astounds me as I'd thought I read through and put this book into practise a few times already. However, as I'm reading this chapter, which is late in the book, it's all fresh to me. I know I read it at least twice or three times many, many years ago, but apparently not recently.   While I have picked up this book for review in the past few years, I apparently did not get this far in the book, nor read through it in detail when I last did value exercises.

The difference being, in the past, including just last September, when I did my values, I would list my values and then prioritize them. Robbins goes deeper than that.   He has you really look at your values in depth in comparison to what you want to achieve.   Are those the values that will take you where you want to go? Do you need to adopt new values? What do these values cost you (especially where they are ranked)?  To achieve your goals what would be the optimum values hieracy? What are the values that you move away from (Anger, fear, humiliation, etc.)?

For example, Tony Robbins originally had Passion as his #1 value. I think it's evident that he's still a very passionate guy. However, as he first put himself through this exercise, he realized that having passion as his #1 value had a lot of detriments. For one, his Health (his #10 value) was suffering. He wasn't eating properly or sleeping properly, working too hard, on the road too much, and making some poor decisions all while demanding his energy levels to be sky-high to be passionate. He was running himself into the ground. In his revised value hieracy, Health became #1 and Passion dropped to #5. Freedom, his previous #2 value, dropped from the list completely. He had all the freedom he could want, except the freedom to choose those things that might benefit him but trade off on his freedom.    While Robbins doesn't state it as a problem for him, I've met guys where their high value of Freedom is preventing them from having what they really want - a lasting and meaningful relationship.

Now I must admit, I have not, in recent times, deeply examined and revised my values to serve my longterm goals in such a way.   Why not? Honestly I don't know. I am shocked. Perhaps subconsciously, I didn't want to.

Tonight I'll be sitting down and really going through this exercise, so next post, I'll share my new values with you.

Canfield Coaching - Eureka...?

2011-01-13T18:10:00.000-05:00

Last night was my second coaching call (that is, them calling me), and right off I started with a pointed question.

"I want to get myself to a point where I'm constantly living in a state of fear, that is, feeling scared because I've pushed myself out of my comfort zone, but how do I live in constant anxiety without regressing to old behaviours to avoid feeling that?"

After clarifying what I was asking my coach asked me what the difference between pro-active and re-active people are. I gave him a dictionary correct answer but not what he was looking for.

"Proactive people work to resolve issues based on their values dictate. Reactive people work to resolve issues based on what they are feeling."

That had to sink into my head but as we continued to talk it gradually made more and more sense to me.   Every other question I had, - "How to be more proactive, How to take more control, How to remain fix on my decisions and not change to suit other people, How to..." every one lead me back to values.

If I clearly know my values, and live by them. If my values define who I am, then all my decisions are based on those values. Living accordingly, I would naturally be pro-active, I would naturally be taking more control, I would naturally remain consistant, because my values wouldn't change (maybe year to year but not day to day).    I realized all my decisions and actions were indeed based on what I was feeling, or trying to avoid feeling.   Which is why I sometimes procrastinated, often deferred to what others wanted (so they'd be happy and that would make me happy) and often moving from my position as those 'others' shifted in their desires and needs.   Everything was feelings based, on mine or others and feelings are no bases for firm decisions.

More-over, I USED to live exactly like that, values-driven. At that time I was at my peak performance. Turning accounts around from losing money to being the most profitable in Ontario, being a top sales rep - so good, the entire company mirrored my approach, motivating staff to peak performance, taking bold steps - even when it scared the crap out of me to do so, renovating my home, enjoying a great family life, and living very happily, with all the world of possibilities before me.

So what happened? My wife left, blaming my writing, my taking time for the kids and working late, etc., saying she felt neglected.    In my mind, living by my values caused the greatest pain and consequaint meltdown that I'd ever experienced.   Looking back now, I clearly see that was a false association.  While I had a pollyanna view of the marriage then, it was troubled from the get go. We married very young, both came from poor childhoods and neither one of us was emotionally mature or stable. She constantly sought joy of confirmation from outside sources, and with me doing so well, I depended on her as my source of joy less and less, which made her feel threatened and insecure.  There were other contributing factors as well.

Did living by my values cause my marriage to end? No. Did it contribute?  In a way, it spend up it's downfall, but it would have fallen apart sooner or later anyway.   I was merely too blind to see it then.

However, because of that association, I'm assuming here, I never really lived a values-based life again. I did do the values exercises from time to time, but always did it and put it aside and never really embraced it as I once had. I never gave it much thought really.   Until now.

For almost 20 years I've wondered what I was doing then, to achieve the outstanding results I was getting, that I'm not doing now.   For the first time I have an answer that really fits.

Once again I'm doing a values exercise, to determine, what now, are my top values and in what order, and what those values mean, specifically for me.   Once again I'm going to adhere to living by those values in everything I do. All the goals I set, actions I take and thoughts I think must be in alignment with them. My values define who I am.   With them clearly defined, then I can act in accordance. Surely, definitely, proactively and acheive the results I've been looking for, for so long, once again.    I trust.

Canfield Coaching - Of Compassion and Complacency

2011-01-12T16:21:00.002-05:00

I'm proud of myself for blogging here today, as really although it's my intent to blog on my progress daily as I grow with the Canfield Coaching, I really didn't feel there was anything worth blogging about today.

I will touch on a couple things: Compassion, which continues to be presented to me front and centre (not through Canfield Coaching though, just by life in general), is something I'm still very aware of and working on exercising every chance I get.   Part of that was to attend a union meeting to show support for a friend who's a union rep.   My friend stepped down as union steward, in fact all the union stewards stepped down and guess who was nominated?  Yep, me. Go for a free lunch and to show support and end up a Union steward.   Personally, I've never cared about the union or had any issues I ever needed the union for but they needed another steward, I was nominated, seconded, thirded and given a lot of support.   Did I want the position? No. Did they all want me to do it because no one else wanted too? Probably. But I saw there was a need and people had faith in me, so out of compassion for others, I reluctantly agreed to let the nomination stand. Fact is, I have the time and I am not relunctant to make a stand to management.   So I am a good candidate.   Whether this will help or hinder my upwards mobility at my current place of employment is uncertain, but I'm not sure that matters, as really, my goal is to leave it anyway.

The second topic I'm going to address is the always inherent danger of slipping into old unwanted patterns. And over the last 24 hours I've seen some signs of that. Saying you're going to quit doing 'X' is completely different than actually not doing 'X' (or conversely doing 'X' that you haven't been doing previously) consistently. It's good to have this blog actually, as it in part acts as a self-honesty, accountability tool.

The love of my life, has also challenged me (and herself) to look for ways to add value to people. Mainly though social media.    I have a Facebook account, but I barely use it.  But from today going forward, I'm going to endevour to use it to spread inspiring messages, respond to people's posts in inspiring ways, and to ask for feedback to issues to encourage the best of others to come out too.   I'll also look to add more people, and renew my use of my sister blog http://www.thecuphalffull.com/ to add value to people through that too.

One of my biggest challenges at the moment is deciding what to focus on, as I have a lot of irons in the fire, but only so much time and energy to spare.   Do I finish my children's books? Young Adult novel? E-book? Website ambitions? Comic book writing? Romance building? Networking? Editing work? or just focus on self-development at the moment?   They all feed into my passions and end goals but if I'm to be successful, I need to give whatever I'm doing laser-like focus and not be all over the place. So most of those wonderful things that I all want to do, will have to wait.

Hmm.... for someone who felt he had nothing to say, I sure said a lot. :-)

Canfield Coaching - Man in the Mirror

2011-01-11T12:33:00.001-05:00

Well, despite what the Winslow Analysis says and my own reservations I focused on and completed the various homework assignments ahead of schedule.

Have had various realizations this week but ironically, most were not from doing these Canfield Coaching exercises. They were more from looking at the Winslow and from other sources (I'm always reading up on self-help stuff and currently have three books on the go as well as lots of daily e-mails).

One thing I am reminded of by Canfield's book/tapes is to 'act as if'.   To start living as if you have already arrived.   Obviously I cannot start spending money 'as if' but I can wear the mental and emotional attitudes 'as if'.   Feel the confidence and self-assure that comes from success, in advance.   That may seem a little silly but if you look at how most people succeeded, they did so by doing exactly this.   Acting as if their success was guaranteed, despite having no such assurances.

If I'm going to act 'as if' then one of the things I must stop doing is talking about lack, doubts, fears, or current troubles.   If I'm successful, then I think only of success. Yes, lack, doubts, fears, and current troubles will always exist. But I don't have to give them any power.   But speaking of them, worse, by writting of them, I grow them and confirm them.   If my success is assured, then while I still need to acknowledge the fears, doubts and roadblocks in life, I don't need to focus on them at all, or pay them any mind.   I don't want to look at the roadblocks, I want to focus on the way over, under, around or through the roadblock.    I don't need to speak of fear or doubt, just acknowledge them, they should be there (if they are not, then I'm not growing out of my comfort zone), and keep moving towards my goal.

So going forward I want to just blog on my successes. That's what's important. That's what will keep me motivated and focus and also help to motivate any readers as well.

As far as the Canfield Coaching goes - I've rewritten my affirmations (positive sayings I repeat daily to myself) and started doing what Jack Canfield refers to as The Mirror Exercise.   The Mirror Exercise is the habit of just looking at yourself in the mirror and acknowledging everything you've done right that day, ending with a 'I love you.'   While I know that's probably ackward for some people, to tell themselves they love themselves, I have no problem there.   I totally love myself. Not always pleased with my performance, but I have a health love and respect for myself. The act of regergitating all of the little 'wins' throughout the day in front of the mirror, I did find rewarding and encouraging. I'm suppose to do it for 40 days, so we'll see how I feel by the end of it.    As far as the affirmations go, Jack again does make the process simple and effective, prompting me to put them to upbeat, empowering rhymes that I can recall quickly and easily and recite whenever I have some down time.

Canfield Coaching - Building Excitement

2011-01-10T13:41:00.000-05:00

I've been meaning to write another blog on my progress here since immediately after the last post, but I've been keeping pretty busy, so this is the first opportunity I've had. Unfortunately I fear I may have lost some key distinctions in the wait.

First off, let me say, I can feel the internal excitement level really starting to pick up. As you can tell from previous posts, while I was in a solid mindset when I originally applied to Canfield's Coaching program, after New Year's disasterous performance, I was feeling like a bit of a whipped curr. Actually, even prior to that, because I could feel things slipping away and was feeling powerless to stop it. At any rate, it feels great to be back into a 'can do' attitude. Really, this is where I like to live and am looking to set up permenant residence.

One of the reasons for my revised mind frame is the Purpose exercise I did. In his book, Canfield laid how to define your purpose quite simply and effectively. Of course, it helps that I already had a firm grasp of what I felt my life purpose was but still this exercise helped me to define it even better using those aspects of life I truly love.

My new Purpose definition goes like this:

Using my creativity and (com)passion, I will teach, enlighten and entertain people, helping them to live fuller, love deeper and know peace and joy through Christ(connection with source).

Now that is a simple and effective Purpose statement that I can really get behind. It excites me and that's exactly what your Purpose should do.

I've also been listening to the set of audio tapes they sent. It's merely Jack Canfield reading his book; The Success Principals, which I'm already reading, but I do find there's something unexpected in the listening to of the tapes. They effect me differently. Which reading I take a more cerebral approach to the material, digesting it and applying it to my life, but I find when I listen to the same material I have a much more emotional response to it. I will identify with something said, and respond emotionally to it, getting sad (yes, that's me...) or excited by it. I also wonder if I'm more of an audiotory learning than I'd thought. At any rate, I'm finding it of great benefit.

I know Bob Proctor used to listen to tapes he had from Earl Nightinggale over and over and over again and even after knowing it to the point of being able to recite them, he still occasionally had 'Aha!' moments when something in life would happen, that corrolated with something in the tapes, and suddenly he'd 'get it'. Not just intellitectually, but at a base gut level. So I'm commiting myself to listening to these tapes over and over again, to ensure I am continually reminded of what I need to be doing and program it into my (thick) head.

I've also taken various steps to reshape my life.

I'm scheduling myself much more effectively and so far am amazed by the results. I get a lot more done AND still feel like I have more free time! What? How is that possible?! Because I'm utilizing my time much more effectively. By scheduling my day (and prepping when needed) the night before, I get up running, knowing exactly what needs to be done, when, why and in what order. I don't waste any time trying to figure out what to do next, or not sure of what to do next, I'm not just wasting time. I'm just going. It feels great and certainly a habit I want to enshrine in my mind.

I finally did what I said I'd do before my move - I finally semi-permenantly parked the car. As expected, I'm simply not using it enough to warrent the costs of maintaining it. It's a very basic and sensible decision but to be honest it was really painful for me. I didn't realize how much pride was tied up in that modest vehicle. It was a status symbol of sorts and one it turns out, I was loathe to lose. It certainly does make me feel less of a man not having a car to drive around in. I still own the car, but if I'm never using it, no one will see that. Still, by parking the car, I save on insurance, gas, mileage, maintainance, parking, etc. and should save two or three hundred a month. Money that can then goto other things like the gym, paying down debt and buying new clothes.

I'm getting back into budgeting my money, something I used to do to an anal degree, but haven't for a while as it bred a 'lack mentality' (as all I looked at all the time was who little I had to do anything with). By cutting wasteful spending (eating out for lunch, coffees, video games I don't need, etc.) I can free up money for other things, giving me a sense of 'having' instead of 'not having' as now I have some money left in the bank when something of real value or need comes around. To answer the question you're probably thinking, yes, I did do that before but I wasn't in as good as financial shape overall at the time. So even cutting back everywhere, I still only ever saw lack. Maintaining the house on my single income was really spreading me too thin. Nowadays I create some of my own lack by feeding my little 'joy' impulses all the time.

Another thing I'm doing, having realized my false beliefs regarding other people, is working on changing my mindset from finding a way to achieve (alone) so I can show others the way, to working with others to achieve success together (as a team) so not only do I benefit, but so do they and then we can show others the way. Changing my mindset from 'I'm not dependant on anyone', to 'my network is my greatest asset'. Of course there is some validity in not overly depending on others but it's nonsensical to not work with others for our mutual benefit, or even to accept someone's help when offered (using common sense of course).

Otherwise I've been busy working away on my homework assignments, which have been somewhat eye opening but nothing major yet, although it'll be interesting to see what my coach takes from them. Negociating a deal for some additional writing work ($!). And spending time with those people who are important to me which is always a pleasure.

Canfield Coaching - The simply fact is, I don't care about you - but I should!

2011-01-08T15:07:00.000-05:00

One of the most depressing but at the same time, relevant bits of information that the Winslow Profile Analysis revealed about myself is that I do not seek outside recgonition.

Some of you may say 'well, what's so bad about that?'    In a way it's good that I'm not doing things for praise or to get attention, but the problem is, this is systematic of a broader characteristic: I don't care about other people or to fit into 'society'.    Which is not to say I don't care about people at all. I do! But I am happy living my life and letting other's live their's and not feeling like they need to overlap.

I put this to God, as to why, and the answer I got was a realization that, as a kid I was a bit of a social misfit. This is partly because of my parents (being too poor to dress me properly and having some outdated and detestable standards of cleanliness) and partly my own lack of social networking skills. Despite efforts at the time, I was usually the odd kid out.   The one no one wanted on their team (would have helped if my parents taught me even the basics of sports), the one that didn't fit into the school's social groups, etc.   Worse was the fact that no matter what I did I never felt that I could win my father's approval.

So in time, I stopped looking for any gratification from being with others, or in trying to please others. I did my own things, had fun and 'didn't need anyone'. I'm not a total social bore. I'm good company at a party and will chat with anyone, but I don't really care if that person likes me or not. I'm not looking for any social acceptance beyond being socially acceptable.   I don't really care about that person at the party at all. I will likely forget everything they told me, including their name, within a couple hours.   That's a problem. You don't build networks that way.    Why would anyone care to help me, in any way, if I don't display a sincere appreciation for who they are (prior to needing something)?

It's always been easier for me to show compassion and a desire to help total strangers - in a class I'm teaching for example, or the namelesss and faceless readers of my blog, than to the aquaintences in my social circles. To lessening degrees this goes to my friends (I'm not aware of what's happening in their lives mostly), my children and even my love interest (I'll know what's going on, but may not really 'care'. 'She's a big girl, I'm sure she can handle her issues,' is a typical thought.)

The more I learn to open up and show genuine compassion to others, and interest in others, the more I learn to love those around me, the more love will be poured back into my life. There's a balance there of course, I don't want to get wrapped up in people's drama's, but that doesn't mean I can't become cognizent enough to be aware of their issues and offer a word of advice, encouragement or enlightenment. Or even just to empathize with them and give them a hug.    That doesn't sound like a lot to ask, but from where I'm standing now, even that seems like quite the leap.

Leaping...

Canfield Coaching - The connundrum of conflicting values

2011-01-07T17:01:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I was working away on my assignment and I find my self confidence has taken a real dive. I not sure if that is because of my recent break-up, due to having some aspects of my personality shoved in my face by the Winslow Profile Assessment and the current exercise or because I feel like I can stop 'trying' and let my coach deal with all my bad thought patterns.   Perhaps, a degree of all of those.

One of the issues I'm currently grappling with is the fact that I'm not driven by a lot of traditional drivers. IE: I do not desire a big house, fancy car, or other pretenses of wealth.   Sure a house would be nice, as long as I don't have to clean, fix and maintain it and the yard/garden/property. Sure a fancy car would be nice, but would it really bring me more joy? Not really.   Sure dressing nicer would be nice but would that really change anything in my life? Not significantly.

Having money to travel and being free of thinking about lack of funds would be the biggest drivers for more money, but I wonder if that's really enough.   Enough of a driver to counter the work involved in gaining increase.    For example, would I want to bust my ass for months on months to achieve a standard of living than allows me to travel several times a year or, enjoy more leisure time day in and day out? Sure I'd love the traveling, but not really sure if I'm willing to sacrifice my daily leisure time to realize it.   However, being free from lack of money would be awesome. But is being free from a lack of money, worth the cost of creating a lack of free time?   Would I be happier having money but little to no time to enjoy it's benefits?

Largely I am a man of simple pleasures. Is that a bad thing? Part of me seems to think so, to find it non-ambitious.   But is that merely a perception placed on me by society that's I've been conditioned to accept or is it a part of me, the lion in me, itching to get out? To stake it's claim on the world? To say, 'Look at me, look at everything I've done!' demanding the world recognize my greatness.   But really, would doing that bring me more than fleeting joy?

I think real joy comes from selfless giving, and that's one thing financial success would allow me to do to a much greater extent, to give. However, signing a cheque is nowhere's near as exciting as being an active part of the blessing. To actually see the joy and hope come alive in someone's eyes as you're actually there.

So you see, different values are conflicting, leading me nowhere's fast.

Canfield Coaching - It begins

2011-01-06T08:30:00.000-05:00

So last night I finally had my first official coaching session. I had called the Resources line previously and talked to Gary (my coach, by happenstance, could have been any of the coaching staff) once already but this was our scheduled appointment.

It's only 30 minutes long and you can imagine that those 30 minutes go quick. To summarize; He asked some questions to clarify some things I had written or that had shown in the Winslow assessment and gain a better understanding of me. Because I already had a Vision and goals set, and my need was to break down limiting patterns, he assigned me the third module to work on.

There are twelve modules altogether, available on the site. Homework basically, to help ingrain the teachings into your life. The first five are generally mandatory and the rest depend on your developmental needs.

I also committed to researching into some planners either paper or electronic to get myself organized. I am starting to realize what a state of unprepareness I live in day to day.

Backtracking a bit. They did allow me to redo the Winslow Assessment. The results were quite fascinating and at times surprising. I haven't had time to dig deeply into it, but a couple things immediately showed up.

One - That because I do not seek recognition from others, I tend to come across as aloof and self-interested. This shows up in a lot of little ways.

Two - That I have an uncommonly low 'endurance' factor, the ability to focus and commit to getting something done and invest the time/energy necessary. When I first saw the score, I was sure it was wrong, but as I read the description and thought it over, and more over, watched myself at work, I realized, sadly, how write it was. If I have to do some 'boring' work, I have a hard time focusing and working on it. I tend to very easily get distracted away, unless it engages me or I have a deadline.

It also showed that I'm perhaps even smarter (and more logic based?!) than I give myself credit for, and actually, I give myself credit for being pretty smart already.

So I bore easily, lack discipline and am not motivated to do anything to gain acceptance from others. These are real stumbling blocks. Looking forward to see what Module 3 brings.

Canfield Coaching - The Pre-Season - Day 14

2011-01-04T00:23:00.003-05:00

1 Days to go before coaching starts.

Orientation today. Quick, painless and mostly fruitless. Except I asked about the issue with the Winslow assessment and was referred to leave a message for my coach, which I had, but since that can take three days for him to get back to me, I figured I'd better just call the coaching hotline, talk to any coach and see if I can get it resolved.

So I did and guess what? I got my coach. Great. Had a nice chat with him, he was doubtful about them changing the Winslow, but referred me to the Coaching Manager, so I call the general help line to get them the CM. Although I never spoke to them direct, they approved the request. Great.

So it's happening. And I'm ready. My girlfriend left because she got scared, because I got scared, and when I get scared, I tend to back away, pretend I don't care. Don't care about our relationship that much, don't care about life, or success, just happy playing on my Wii. Yeah, real simple joy. Don't need anyone. Yeah, right. I do care. I care about her very much. It hurt me bad. That's why I needed to redo my assessment. As much as I might try to lie to myself otherwise. It hurt me real bad.

Specifically, she was scared because she saw patterns in me that I know have always been a concern to her and she finally concluded that they would not change. She decided that things were not going to work because she could not trust me to lead the relationship; did not think that I would be a good role model/father to her son; that I lack the confidence she's looking for in a man; that I was not spiritually mature enough to challenge her and pour into her life as she did for mine ; and because I was selfish.

Sad thing is, I cannot disagree with her. Not as I am today. Nor I have shown her any signs of growth for her to hold onto, and believe in. I cannot blame her for giving up on me.

But I'm not giving up on myself. I'm dedicated to this. I'm doing it. I'm changing my life and turning myself into the man we both want me to be. Living the life I know I'm capable of. Whatever it takes. It's all or nothing here. If I can't do it now, then I'm just going to have to accept being an insignificant cog in the government wheel, do my time, be with some woman who isn't in any way inspiring, get my pension and just shut the fuck up for the rest of my miserable life. But I can't do that. I can't accept that life. That's not me. That's not what God planned for me. I'm better than that. And so are you.

I'm doing this for every man and woman out there who's just like me. Always dreaming of more but never quite finding it. Always looking for the answer, for 'The Secret', any secret, to suddenly turn their life around and put the last piece in place so they can finally start living. Living joyfully. I'm doing this for my all my friends who are in the boat. I doing this for my kids, so they can see that if I can do it, so can they. I'm doing it for my (ex)girlfriend, because she wants to believe too. I'm doing it for me and I'm doing it for you.

If you are reading this right now, then you probably already know who I am, because I've already made it, and you heard I made it and left this journal of how I made it just for you. This is where my story starts to get interesting, because it's not what you know, it's how you apply what you know. I realize now, that studying all this from a book is much like learning French from a book. You can study for years and have a great understanding of how to do it, but if you only ever practice at home, you're still going to suck at it. If you really want to speak French, goto Paris or Montreal or better yet, into the countryside of France or Quebec where they speak no English and you have no choice but to apply everything you know, and learn how to do it properly, pronounce properly, use proper grammar, tense, verse, slang, etc. Because until you're actually living it, you are just don't know it. So this is me, mister self-taught master of success principals going out to live it. And show it can be done. I don't expect it to be easy. I don't care.

It's now or nothing. I'm jumping off the precipice and trusting God that I've learned how to fly.

I'm sure there's going to be struggles and drama. Should make for a good book one day, but this journal here, this is the raw stuff. The stuff I'm writing in the moment as it happens. Good, bad. Read on. Enjoy. Feel my pain and my triumphs. And know this; If I can make it, then so can you. So can you.

Let me show you how.

Preston Squire January 3, 2011

Canfield Coaching - The Pre-season - Day 13

2011-01-03T09:54:00.001-05:00

Prior to talking to your coach - my first scheduled appointment is this Wednesday (two days from now), there are a number of things you are required to do.

To fill out a short Pre-assessment form which basically looks at how you've structured your life (setting goals, etc.)
To read the first chapter in Jack Canfield's book: The Success Principals - about taking 100% responsibility for your actions and life
To have an orientation on the website - This was suppose to happen last Wednesday but they called to cancel and reschedule because the person who was to do it was sick (as was I, so I didn't mind). That's now scheduled for later today.
And to complete a personality assessment called the Winslow report. I had to wait a while to get the required password to access this report, probably a longer than longer wait because of the holidays. I originally completed the hour long battery of question that make up the Winslow report last Thursday only to be told that it was positively biased and I'd have to do it again. This is not an uncommon result actually, but still is somewhat frustrating result. At that time I was with my girlfriend, and while she gave no feedback at the time on my answers, after I got the result she did comment she felt I was overstating some attributes or understating some faults on it. I assure you, this was not intentional, but could be due to a healthy ego.
I was sick on Thursday, but in a good mood. Friday, I was feeling worse, and the day was a complete disaster (some times you are better off just staying in bed sick). Saturday I was finally starting to recover
but felt the fallout from the disaster of the day prior, as my relationship ended (at least as of this writing) and I now had a monumental mountain of 'to do' items left from last year (much put off from my being sick for 3 days) and now all my 2011 goals. It was pretty overwhelming, especially in my still weak state but I trudge diligently onward. It wasn't until yesterday, Sunday, that the reality of Friday's fall-out began to really hit home and that I got around to finally redoing the Winslow report.
While I'm sure it's all completely automated, they still make you wait three hours to see your results. The instant I saw them, I know three things: One, I really should have put it off another day at least as my mood at the time greatly influenced it; two, I really, really, need to leave my present work situation - my soul has shrivelled up and died there and any questions were I considered work aspects were thusly reflective of that. This is not wrong mind you, that is reflecting a part of my current reality, but it is so not reflective of me in any other situation work or social. And three: that I did not at all identify with the person reflected in this report analysis. Neither the areas shown as strong nor those as weak reflected an accurate portrait of who I am.
It may well reflect my negatively bias mood at the time though. But if my ego boosted positively bias assessment had to be rejected, so too does this negatively bias one.

Canfield Coaching - The Pre-season - Day 10

2011-01-01T18:57:00.000-05:00

New Years Day

From a series of vivid, nonsensical dreams, I wake to find myself somewhere white. It only takes me a second or two to identify the floor tiles. I'm laying on my side on the kitchen floor. Something cold presses hard against my lips, squeezing them up and over it's edge. Groggy and disoriented I slowly tilt my head to see it's a cooking pot.

That's right, I had gone into the kitchen to get a drink. I had only cracked opened the fridge door when a wave of nausea crashed against my stomach. I'd spun to the kitchen sink but it was full of dishes. Quickly opening the lower cabinet door I had grabbed this pot. My legs felt weak so I'd dropped to the ground ready to let my stomach contents fly.

But I hadn't puked. The pot was clean. It appears I'd lost consciousness instead.

Considering it was some early hour on New Year's Day it might not seem like a surprising turn of event, but I was not drunk. In fact, two bottles of sparkling wine I had bought to celebrate the turn of the new year still sat on my kitchen table unopened. I had not partied with friends and family, nor I had not spent the evening with the most wonderful woman I had ever met as planned - that had ended around 4pm when she decided to break up with me; I had spent the better part of the evening alone at the hospital, desperate to fight off a fever that was now going into it's forth day with no signs of breaking.

As I fight to get up and finally get that drink of water, the irony hits me. This is how I am bringing in the New Year. Alone, in my tiny apartment, with no girlfriend and so feverish I was barely able to think straight. My life is a mess, party because I'd been bedridden for the last 3 days but also partly because I allowed myself to live a mostly lackadaisical life, never having anything prepared until I suddenly had a need to or until I'd go an a crusade to change some aspect of my life, only to lose interest just when I'm starting to see success.

2011 was definitely beginning on a low note. The one good aspect is it sets a benchmark for the whole Canfield Coaching that I'm about to embark on.

Canfield Coaching - The Preseason - Day 3 (Christmas 2010)

2010-12-25T01:49:00.001-05:00

It's 1:15am on Christmas day.

My life is a mess. I'm just drifting along. Occasionally getting a bit of fire in my belly but mostly just drifting. Idly letting life pass me by while I medicate myself out of this reality with whatever distraction I can find to fill my time. I don't have a plan. I don't have clear set goals. I do have a vision of who I want to be, but mostly all I do is try to distract myself away from the current reality. A reality that does not match my vision.

Dating my girlfriend is a painful blessing. Everytime I'm with her, I'm forced to look at myself through her eyes, and I find myself wanting. I'm just wallowing in my shit. Can't stand to even look at myself in the mirror. Which is good, because if I'm going to make any kind of change, I need to stop accepting the status quo.

Let me tell you, on one hand the status quo is fine, it's nice. Nice. Nice is a nice word for it. Nice. Not exciting. Not particularly interesting. Nothing to write home about. But it's nice. Pleasant. Mostly. Nice. God damn, I fucking hate that word. Used to be how I described everything. 'Oh that's nice.' 'The dress is nice.' 'What a nice person.' Nice, always nice. And that's how people used to always describe me, 'Nice.'

Nice is freaking devoid of any flavour. It's more vanilla than vanilla. It's sterile. Nice is purgatory. It's the place we goto to get out of Hell but are too afraid or too lazy to work our way to Heaven.

The great thing about having a 'nice' life is if it all goes to hell, I didn't fall very far. But that's as pathetic as can be. lol. It's like I've repeatedly said; Despite what 'the Secret' says, you will not attract the life you want, you will only attract the minimum standard you are willing to accept. And clearly my standard, is, or at least, up until now, has been 'nice.' I don't want nice. Nice just doesn't cut it anymore. I want a Rich life. Rich in friends, rich in health, rich in wisdom, rich in favour, rich in experiences, rich in romance and yes, although it pains me a little to say it, rich in money. Why does that pain me? Damned if I know. Hopefully my life coach will shed some light on that one.

Okay, clearly this isn't a Merry cheery Christmas message. You are probably wondering what went wrong with my Christmas that I'm being so hard on myself. Nothing, nothing really. Yesterday could have gone a little better, well, I guess which proper planning, a lot better, but as it was it was certainly 'nice' enough. And today will be, well, nice too. If I let it. I don't think I want to let it be 'nice' though. 'Nice', ack. Such a low standard. I hate it.

I know, I know, what you focus on you attract, I don't want to attract more of the same. I definitely don't want another Christmas like this. Nice. I want it to be Rich!! Lots of friends and family. Lots of laughs and joy. Lots of presents (without any thought of lack). Lots of music and fellowship. In a nice big house, large enough to hoist all my friends and family.

Yeah, this Christmas sucks ass!! Nice sucks ass!! That's a technical tech; ass suckaledge. I should not be here, in my apartment, alone, on Christmas early morning. I should be with my kids and my woman, asleep. But poor planning - from drifting - has lead me here by my own devices, and I go through it as if it's the world's fault somehow. It's not of course, and I don't go blaming the world. I just don't normally wear the blame either. But I created this reality and it's sub par. Sub par. It's not good enough

For the record, I was with my girlfriend and her son last night. Made them a nice dinner - lamb. Have my kids later today, seeing my brother and niece and nephew, spending the morning with her again before getting my own kids, then seeing my brother and his family, before coming back home to eat a Christmas dinner and then joining my girlfriend once again at her brother's for another Christmas dinner/party, at least for a while. It's not bad, not at all, it's really quite nice. But it's sure as hell far from great, and that, great, has to be the standard.

Let's see what I can do to make this day be Great!

Canfield Coaching - The Preseason - Day 1

2010-12-23T15:26:00.001-05:00

As you may surmise from the title, I've finally gone and done it.

I've decided I need to either put up or shut up.

I've put my money where my mouth is, investing almost 5 grand in a life skills coach. Well, I guess I should qualify it as a year long coaching program, it's not like I'll have a personal coach with me every day for a year, and if I did, I'd expect to be paying at least ten times that amount.

However, I will have weekly conversations with my designated coach and am free to call up the coaching staff anytime (within extended working hours) to my hearts content.   Which is really a great feature, because I can continue to bitch/whine/complain about lack of success all I want for a year.

lol

I laugh, because if that's what I'm doing, I'm sure to fail. I need to be taking decisive action not whining about a lack of results and I'm sure any of the coaches would be quick to point that out.   However, it's comforting that a highly trained life skills coach is reachable for me to get feedback from and bounce ideas and concerns off of or even to help cool and constructively shape my occassional over exhuberance.

Okay, let's get to the basics here.

In line with the whole point of this blog, I will blog regularly on my progress, so you, dear readers, can determine if a Life Skills Coach is effective, if Jack Canfield's program in particular is, how I achieved my outstanding success, or at least, learn from my mistakes.

So it's important to let you know where I am, what the program entails, what goals I'll be aiming for and then we can determine, over the course of the near year (2011) is this is an effective tool to make change happen.

Where I am now:

Career: Good but uninspiring government job, have interview for new position early Jan. Have (often neglected) website: http://www.thecuphalffull.com/, currently well into writing two novels - a fiction - Dillon's Dilemma and an resource book (on success) as yet untitled. Own a rental property for added income (at least income in theory).

Wealth: Earning a decent wage but still living pretty much paycheck to paycheck. So income slightly < expenses with little to show for it too.

Romance: Having a relationship with an outstanding woman, but it's been filled with starts and stops thus far.

Health: Pretty good. I'm fit and quite healthy. Exercise regularly, eat rightish. Definite room for improvement though.

Happiness: Generally I'm happy but I do feel like I've hit the perverbial glass ceiling. I know I should be living at a higher level than I am. I have so much great knowledge to give, but you can't really give what you don't have. Who wants to listen to me talk prosperity when I'm flat broke? That annoys even me.

Relationships: This is in flux. I've definitely outgrown some people but havn't found replacements for them. There is a void here and I'm not sure quite how to fill it.   I know I want to, but where to meet like-minded people?

Fun: Ahh.... did travel to the Maritimes and New York this year. Otherwise, I mostly play on my Wii (no jokes allowed) and internet forums for fun.

Where I want to be:

Career: Want to have my books finished and published. Want my website to be fully featured (forum, reviews, guest commentators, etc) and revenue generating. Want to be fully self-supporting.

Wealth: Want to be earning 1 million+/yr by end of 2011.
Romance: Want to really develop the relationship to it's full potential and (don't tell her) get married (shhh...)
Health: Add 10-20 pounds of muscle mass. Hit the gym regularly. Be 'fit'. Eat 'right'. Look like my fitness instructor girlfriend did a great job on me. Be inspiring to you.
Happiness: Be at the top of my game, living life fully, but also taking the time to really enjoy it too.
Relationships: Inspire and help my kids to be the best they can be. Have inspiring and engaging friends. Work with some of the best people around. Have a truly fantastic life partner.
Fun: Travel the world, go out regularly, play sports (not Wii Sports), learn to scuba dive and salsa dance.
What Jack Canfield's coaching program brings to the table:

I signed up yesterday, so I'm waiting for some stuff to arrive by courier, for an orientation call (next week) and for the first call from my coach (Jan 5/2011). I have some assignments to complete beforehand. So I'm calling this period the Preseason, as it doesn't actually begin until I talk to my coach.

They break it up into 4 parts. The Discovery where I fill out a bunch of stuff so they have a good idea of who I am, what's 'wrong' with me (my wording), where I want to be, and they can start formulating a plan to get me there. The Learning phase which is about 3 months of active coaching, once a week, with about 5-6 hours of work for me to do every week.   And then the 2nd phase where I'm on my own, but can call in (as much as I want) for the remainder of the year, and need to give regular progress reports.

In a nutshell, they need to identify my limiting patterns (lack mentality, fear of irrelevance), break the cycle, help me reprogram my mind, organize myself efficiently, and work productively in an enduring manner.

This is a very exciting time for me. I really see 2011 now as a make-it-or-break-it year.   I know all the theory, and now with a coach, I'm going to be sure to implement it.   I will ever definitely (I used that word a lot today) changed my life for the better, or have to accept that I either really have issues or all this prosperity stuff is so much malarky.    Obviously I don't believe that.   I wouldn't have started this blog, what? 2, 3 years ago, if I didn't believe I could and eventually would become inspiringly successful.

So if you're reading this, when welcome aboard and watch how it happens. No one said it'd be easy.

A Brand Like Viagra

2010-11-13T00:52:00.001-05:00

Sorry, I readily admit that title is purely flippant. When I posted the 'The Price of Viagra' on my main site www.thecuphalffull.com it generated a spike in hits. So, as we all want more hits, I cheekily titled this article A Brand Like Viagra. If you clicked here purely based on that, well, that my friend says something about you.

However, this site is about me and my progress to a fabulous life full free of worries and lack. My girlfriend and I were discussing what my Brand is. What sets me apart from anyone else out there wanting to promote positive thinking, inspiration, and success? One thing that she pointed out, was that I approach it from a standpoint of one of, not one above. That is to say, rather than preaching from the stand point of someone who's become successful, I am approaching the subject as someone who is with you, perhaps a little further along this journey.

Well, at least for now. Eventually I will be talking from a stand point of someone who's been there and has broken through and it is my hope that this blog, in part, shows that even highly successful people have had there fair share of ups and downs, false starts and disappointments. The only difference is in how we viewed those when they happened and that we kept right on going.

Right now, the struggle is to come up with a mere $600 for a trip for New York. You know what? One day, not too far from now, I'll be reviewing this blog and will rediscover this article and will be laughing right now. $600 a struggle? I'll chuckle, marvelling at how I could have ever 'struggled' to come up with $600. That's nothing after all. And you know what? I'll be exactly right. It is nothing. I will find it.

And one day so will you. Just keep searching. You will find it.

The Price of Viagra

2010-11-09T00:47:00.002-05:00

Up in Huntsville Ontario at the beautiful Deerhurst resort for a summit. No, not the G8 Summit, my invite arrived too late for that, but a Tourism Summit.

I purposely left early, if 10pm can be called leaving early, so I could blog and work on my e-book. So I came back to my lovely and very spacious temporary abode and immediately began text messaging my girlfriend, my children and a couple friends. Why not? I've been out of touch, made some coffee in the meantime. Okay so far.

Then I finally wrapped up my various conversations and promptly... checked the news and forums. Why? To relax, of course. Should I have? No of course not! Waste of time. An hour to an hour and a half of time, that I could have been writing or blogging or at the very least sleeping.

Why do we so often know what we want, know what to do, yet still not do it? I'm hardly alone.

At the summit, one of the speakers, Prof. Ken Chan, in order to make a point, asked the audience if they felt there was benefit to being in top physical shape. Of course, everyone acknowledges there is. Then he asks if people know how to get in top shape. Yes, generally, exercise, eat right, etc. Then Prof. Chan asks how many in the audience of over 500 are now in top physical shape. One hand. I'd have put mine up but I've slacked off for the last two months. Out of over 500 people who all agree it's worthwhile to have and even know what to do. One measly hand. And we didn't believe him either.

You could argue people in the Tourism field are lazy and I concede more people would raise their hand if it was a firefighter summit but not for many other fields.

Here was another interesting fact from Prof. Chan. Pfizer (I think it's Pfizer) maker of Viagra, by Canadian regulations could only market their new product (Viagra) as one thing. The drug was made for heart conditions, to help blood circulation but of course it had this interesting side effect of giving men erections. They did some research and found if they sold it as blood pressure/heart medicine, it was the largest market in pharmaceutical business and growing as the baby boomers age. But it's also highly contested. So the price they could ask for as that would be $3 a pill. However as the world's first effective erectile dysfunction medicine - an untested but also uncontested market - they could ask for $30.

Think about that. Men would only pay $3 for medicine to keep them alive. But the exact same medicine as a cure for erectile dysfunction? $30. Or as Prof. Chan put it, $30 for a reason to keep on living. Having no competition of course makes a huge difference but it also shows people's attitudes and what's truly important to them. Joy is more important than life.

Joy >>>> Life. And why not? What's the point of life without joy? If there's no joy, we're little better than roaches. Just existing for the sake of existing and perpetuating the race. We all need joy, crave joy, pursue joy. There's nothing wrong in that! Except we do it short sightedly most of the time.

Would writing my e-book have brought me more joy than giving my useless opinion that no one really cares about in a forum? Not now. The immediateness of some idiot's rebuttal (and frankly any of us wasting time on a forum to discuss some non-productive pastime like video games is an idiot) to my statement (and my ability to then prove my mental superiority by rebutting their rebuttal - maybe) is more compelling. But in the long run, the reward of selling millions of copies of my e-book would be far, far more rewarding. Of course, who's to say I'll sell millions of copies, or even one? Well, to begin with, me. And that's where any million seller has to start. In someone's mind. Might as well be mine.

So what's the point here? We have to remain focused on the long term goal, not the short term fun. Give yourself some goal posts and when you reach one reward yourself but stay focused on the long term goal. Get those done and you'll be enjoying a life of joy, getting paid to do what you love to do anyway. No, I don't mean writing on forums. I'd hate to be paid for that. What a waste. To make a difference in people's lives? Hell, yes! I do that for free now. Just for the joy of it.

Thought du Jour

2010-11-05T12:19:00.001-04:00

I'm sitting here trying to work on my e-book but just not able to focus on it at the moment but still wanted to contribute some useful information in some way, so here I am blogging on this journal site.

Travel plans to New York continue and I have a great feeling about this trip. We managed to secure a great rate at a four star property right in the middle of Manhatten. Very excited about that. At this point we are still trying to come up with the $600 each. Wish I could say I had it already but I have tremendous faith that, and more will avail itself. However, I am consciencious that I need to be giving in order to recieve. We cannot expect God to just pour into us, if we are not first and foremost ready, willing and able to pour out into others.

But how and what to contribute to the world, that will in turn raise the necessary funds, and then some, I am not clear on yet. Anybody out there need some writing done? lol. Need an inspirational speaker? Quickly now, won't get me at this cheap rate forever! Or even much longer.

Which reminds me I'd love to do some sort of inpirational course for the less fortunate people in this city.

New York, New Love, and Other Updates

2010-10-29T16:07:00.001-04:00

Things are really starting to pick up.

Since my move back to Toronto proper I've used the opportunity to refresh my life (see earlier posts). The results are starting to show.

To begin with I have a new love in my life. However, I cannot image a more perfect partner in crime for me and the potential for us excites me tremendously.

For a year now we've shared a lot of common interests, activities and advice. Helping each other out when possible and supporting one another through our romantic ups and downs.   Really it's a wonder we hadn't gotten together before now. I have lots of thoughts on that but it's irrelevant. With such a like-minded partner I have someone to really bounce off of, encourage and compete with. Never have I been more excited about the possibilities of a relationship.

One example of this is our trip to New York.  She has a friend who's been hospitalized that she wanted to visit and I jumped on the opportunity to join her. After all I've never been to New York. This obviously was not a long planned trip so there was no budget for it.   Instead of trying to go ultra-budget as we originally planned, she challenged me or rather us to put what we preach into practise and declare, seek and find $600 each for the trip.

The timeline for that is short so we've got to really be creative and move on this. It's daunting in a way but it's eustress, not distress I'm feeling. I like the challenge and I love her for issuing it. I of course immediately started my brain to the task and have tentatively found $400+ already.   When she heard I'd gone from nothing to $400 it spurred her on even more.   She doesn't want to be outdone by me, nor I her.

In other news, I'm working on my e-book, Power P's of Enduring Success (tentative title). Blogging again, have monetized my site and getting myself into more productive states every day.  She and I have put our joint product (tentatively titled) Blessful Endevours to the side until we master all it's principals ourselves so we can truly preach what we practise.

Got a couple other things on the burner as well but I'll leave that for another time.

Getting into the Word

2010-10-12T16:31:00.001-04:00

Had a great discussion with my girlfriend yesterday. Really love that woman.   She's one of my dear friends who will prompt, push and challenge me.

In our discussion she gently inquired into my relationship with the Word of God. Now I love the Word. I quote it all the time in my writing and certainly have had a lot revealed to me through the Word. But I've resisted studying the Word for a couple reasons.

One: Just reading the bible, as anyone can attest, can be dang boring.   I'm more interested in studying it.

Two: I have a study bible, and it's a great one from Chuck Swindell but I want the Word from God, not as translated by man, even such a recognized one.    To extrapolate - my concern was getting caught up in some religious doctrain and dogma instead of just building a personal relationship with God.

Three: At one point, for a while, when the Holy Spirit was particularly strong on me, I was able to read and receive so deeply from the Word. Layer after layer after layer in each word of scripture. In comparison, reading it now makes me feel like an idiot as I don't have that same intuitive depth.   I wish I could always recieve like that but that's not intended in this life I don't think.   I also wish I had written every revelation down, as now so much of it is lost to memory.   Regardless, 'it's never done', I will never stop learning, not in this life or what lies beyond. So this is a somewhat silly, if prevelant feeling.   I only need to receive for where I am today, and accept more will be revealed tomorrow.   Also, I've realized, the more I pour out, the more I'll recieve so it's important to not try to just edify myself but to utilize whatever I've learned to benefit others as well.

As well, I don't need to read the bible front to back, as such, to receive the Word.   God/life has always had a way getting the Word to me in some form, as if to reenforce whatever God is teaching me at the moment. So it's merely a matter of making that a more direct channel by keeping the Bible close by and referring to it often for additional inspiration, or as the spirit guides me to do so.

Now, you may be asking yourself why this is even news to me. In hindsight, I don't even know. It seems obvious now but that simply truth was hidden from me.

Work in Progress

2010-10-05T16:55:00.001-04:00

Just a quick update.

Things are starting to move along at a nice pace now. Working away at both my project with my partner - tentatively entitles Blissful Endeavours as well as (finally) working on my long awaited e-book on the Power P's of Enduring Success.

Seeing some progress on the relationship front as well.

My apartment is slowly transforming into my vision for it which is really exciting to see and everything is really going great so far. My son is doing very well, and I'm seeing both my children regularly.

As far this is site is concerned, the most relavent thing is the fact that I'm working on Blissful Endeavors which is forcing me to work a lot of the principals I already know and get my life reinvigourated.

It's an exciting time for me, and I'm really looking forward to what life will bring.

Genesis

2010-09-14T18:17:00.006-04:00

Yes, yes I know. I haven't posted since July.

No excuses. Just been coasting in life, although there has been some major changes.

My son is off to college and I am now an empty nester.

I have moved back to Toronto, mere minutes from my work, saving me about 3 hours a day (often more) of commute time and simplifying my life considerably. Also easing my financial situation at the same time.

After 19 years of parenthood, my life is once again, fully my own.

I am making the most of it.

Once established I partnered up with my good friend Cathy Morenzie. Last year at about this time we did the 100 Day Challenge with some success but neither of us were overly enthralled with the program. It did provide some initial get up and go momentum (or did we do that ourselves?) but certainly wasn't able to carry us through to completion of our goals.

So this year, we've decided to take things one step further. We're creating our own program and testing it on ourselves. Why? Well, for one, because there's nothing like having your own personal success coach in your corner. We've studied all the books, taken courses, watched movies, had coaching, etc. While we're both still enjoying consuming new self-help material, we're also at the point of diminishing returns. It's mostly just rehashing what we already know. So another course or coaching session isn't going to suddenly work magic. It's all about applying what we already know. One of the absolute best ways to get yourself to work it, is to be teaching someone else.

So we're developing an outline for a program, setting goals, and coaching each other. This is a fabulous exercise because it's making us really think about this stuff, no, not just think, live this stuff. We have to think about it to form the program, live it to motivate ourselves and motivate each other.

When we can successfully help each other reach our true potential, then we'll test it on a group of volunteers (sign up now). Once it works for them, we'll roll it out to the world and create another revenue source for ourselves. In the meantime, we're working on other goals which include websites and books.

Cathy and I have already discussed the importance of journaling our journey's because much of that will become material or lessons learned for the very course we're creating. Since this blog, has been my journal (albeit a public one), I will continue to use it for that very purpose. In fact it's ideal, as the ultimate goal of this blog is for you to see someone's struggle from a regular mundane life to outstanding success. And that's what this program we're working on is all about. So there's definitely a synergy.

As always, I'll be upfront with both my achievements and challenges. Hopefully you can learn from both.

I'm excited. This is the beginning of living my life intent. Walking the walk instead of merely talking the talk.

I've so much more to share but that's enough for today. Later my peeps. Thanks for joining me on this ride.

T Preston Squire

A New Beginning

2010-07-26T16:39:00.000-04:00

Very soon I will be starting a new chapter in my life.   I am moving from my house in Oshawa where I lived with my son (and visiting daughter) for the last 6 years to an apartment (still in the process of looking) as of September (barring unforseen circumstances) where I will live all by myself.

So new city, new place, new life after kids (mostly), and since I'm going to be substancially closer to work (and friends, girlfriend and my daughter) I will reclaim an hour and a half of every day or more, thanks to no commute.

As mentioned in my last post, I'm also going through the process of re-examining my goals and dreams to determine what I want to do with the rest of my life. Nothing is off the table. It's like I'm 20 again and everything is possible.

This will take some time and careful consideration but one thing that's been repeatedly put before me is my website http://www.thecuphalffull.com/, which has been largely negleted for the last few months after I realized I wasn't going to be able to achieve my vision for it.   That is, unless it became my main focus in life.    Which could happen after the move.

My one passion is to reach other people.   For many years I thought this would be through books / comics / and such.   But I've always struggled to write books.   Even though I enjoy the work, it always feels like a chore to start.   And it's slow....   And now that I think of it, perhaps archaic. Sure people still read books, and comics but more and more the vast majority of people's reading is right here: online.

So why shouldn't I focus on that?  I can still write books and such on the side as well.   No reason not too.

Nothing is written in stone, but if I do decide to follow this path, then expect some big changes over the coming months for the website as I move it towards it's true intended vision.

Dated Dreams?

2010-07-21T14:32:00.000-04:00

Guy Finley has ruined my life. lol. Sorta.

As you can see from the lack of posts both here and at my main site (http://www.thecuphalffull.com/) over the last few months, I had lost my enthusiasm for this venture.   Not only that, but for my written work as well.

I've been playing with restarting some sort of 100 Day Challenge or doing some new goal setting or something but haven't because why should I have to? If I have a passion for something, why should I have to constantly be pressuring myself to do it?   Some pressure to take definitive action, but the desire to act should be there already.

Then Guy Finley, who sends me regular e-mails, has the audasity to suggest the following:

"Your present dreams about where to find happiness and fulfillment are the very things that stand between you and the real happiness and fulfillment you seek."

That statement might seem contrary to everything you've ever seen me talk about but it made immediate sense.

Our dreams are generally formed when we're children or young adults. But it's at this time that we are most under the influence of whatever limiting paradigms that we have subconsciously adopted in our childhoods.
So those dreams, that we've longed to achieve are dreams created while under the influence of limited beliefs.

Now, to be honest, I'm not sure that's where Guy is going with that, as I'd have to pay $3.00 to find out.   I probably will cough up the $3 as I've got to admit I'm curious to hear his take, (simply havn't had time yet) but regardless, the above realization got me thinking.

Are those dreams, of being a writer, etc, really what I want? It that really what I should be doing?   Or have I just let my old dreams persist long beyond they should have? Now that I'm aware of old limiting paradigms, what new dreams should I aspire too?   What do I really want to do? What's my passion?

I don't know.   I think I'll need to retreat from life, the physical world with all it's immediate needs, for a bit to reorient myself to this new line of thinking.   And pose these questions at a deep level, close to source (God) to find a pure answer.   Until then, I'm stuck in a bit of limbo, not sure how to proceed.

I'll keep you posted.

It's Never Done

2010-07-12T23:36:00.000-04:00

In a number of areas in my life, I'm happy but not fully fulfilled. That is to say, I'm grateful for what I have, it's comfortable and pleasurable but it's not at a level I really want it to be.

This lead me to a question of whether one should live in a state of discontent, demanding more out of life and expecting it - walking in faith, or if one should merely be grateful for what one has. Or both.

Both points certainly have merit. Unless we are following our true desires we simply aren't living. We're existing. By chasing our desires, we grow, we expand, we remain motivated and enraptured with life, even while it challenges us. God asks us to walk in faith. To be bold, go forth and to trust in Him (assuming right action).

At the same time maintaining an attitude of gratitude is immensely important. Whatever we focus on we draw into our lives. So if we look at what we lack, we'll tend to attract more of that. We need to be focused on what is bringing us pleasure to attract more of that instead. If you do not appreciate what God has already given you, why should you be given more?

This lead me to another question. What if you have a job or relationship you really enjoy but isn't fulfilling you at a level you really want to be fulfilled at? Do you leave it, boldly expecting to find something better? What if you don't? What if you go forth only to realize that what you had was already great? Or you simply fail to find what you were looking for and have lost what you had? Or the reverse: What if by holding on to what you have, you lose the potential to find that which you really want?

This is especially poi-tent if you happen to enjoy the relationship, job, etc., you are already in. Why ruin or disregard something that really hasn't done any wrong by you? You could fish for something better while maintaining what you have but that just really feels like cheating, doesn't it?

While pondering this, I was reminded that it's never finished. The job is never done. Even when you accomplish your goals or even your dreams, it's never done. You're happy for a period, but soon you start desiring more, or something else, or to bring this happiness to others, or what have you. You need another goal, another dream to keep you moving.

Even if you were to find the most idealistically, wonderful, dream-like relationship with a super charged sex life, it simply can't be maintained at that level for long. Life is simply too traumatic. It's like a ship in the ocean. You may have ideal conditions today, but tomorrow the seas may be rough. In fact, you're guaranteed to be met with advise conditions sooner or later. So even if things are perfect, they don't remain that way, not without constant effort.

A garden is another fine example.

Here's a story.

A pastor was driving through the countryside and noticed a beautiful farm house. The lawn and garden were lush and well manicured. The barn, fine and full. The fields bursting with near ripe crops in prime condition. In the field, slowing approaching the road, sat a farmer in his tractor. The pastor was so impressed he decided to stop the car and waited for the farmer to reach him.

Once the farmer was in earshot, the Pastor yelled out, "This is a beautiful house and farm you have."

"Well, yep, it is. Thank you," replied the farmer.

"You must be so grateful to God for having provided this all for you," stated the Pastor.

The farmer took off his hat, scratched his head and chewed on his straw before replying, "Well, yep, I most certainly am. But you should have seen the condition He had it in before I arrived."

It's funny because it's true. It took a tremendous amount of time, effort and dedication to get the farm to that state. Nor will it stay that way without endless time, effort and dedication. It would start to slide back into the condition the farmer first found it in. It's never done.

But the key, is to find a good plot of land to start with and build from. The same can be said for most other things. If you have a good solid relationship, build on that. If you have a good job, build on that. Look for ways to increase and build upon that solid foundation.

Once you've taken what you have as far as you can, and you will very likely be surprised by how far you can take something when you really put your mind, time and effort into it, with faith, if after that you're still feeling unfulfilled then you should seriously consider looking for something else. But you will either create the very relationship, career, home, financial situation, etc., you wanted or will have developed the skills necessary to turn it into a reality once you find the proper base to work from.

So don't fuss if it's not perfect. The job will never be done. Just keep moving forward, follow your bliss and be grateful for what you have. Just be sure to recognize the value of what you have before you leave it for something else.

That reminds me of another story, a true one, or so I'm told.

A farmer in Africa, sick of toiling away in the nutrient-poor fields for a penance, heard about diamonds being discovered elsewhere. Realizing that such a discovery could make him rich, he sold off his farm, pack his belongings and went looking for diamonds. He looked and looked in vain, eventually dying a broke and broken man.

The man who bought the farm, wanted to make irrigation lanes from a stream that cut through the property. While working in the stream, the man discovered a strange rock which turned out to be a diamond. He sold the farm for many millions of dollars to a mining company.

The first man was always looking for riches elsewhere, and elsewhere the riches always were. The second looked for ways to make what he had richer, and riches followed.

Another Day

2010-07-02T20:22:00.000-04:00

Just looking at that previous post I had made. It's easy to see I was really connected when I wrote that. It just flowed without any preconceptions of what to write or any editing afterwards. I love that.

Today, is not one of those days. Life has dragged me back. I won't say back 'down' as I don't like the connotations there but life has pulled me back into the dramas of life and away from Source. From my connection with God.

How did that happen? Little by little. Life has a habit of chipping away at you with this drama and that. Specifically, I did separate from the woman I've been seeing for the last three months. It was mutual and amicable and really I feel very much for the best for both of us. We're better friends than lovers. However, then there's the void that creates, and life starts it's little drama's. Wants to sell the story that the void means something. That perhaps somehow I'm not good enough, or that I'm lacking in some way. Certainly I'm lacking a lover and all that entails so now I should feel lonely. Feel tired of dating. Frustrated. Etc.

Poppycock, the lot of it! The void is necessary. It IS progress. See: The Vacuum Law of Prosperity
That which I want to attract into my life, cannot come until a place is made ready for it. You do not invite dinner guests and then not set a place at the table for them. And so in order to find the woman I do want, I need to first create the void for her to fill.

Now sometimes we set a place at the dinner table for a special guest and they run late, or worse, don't show. We don't do ourselves any favours looking at that empty spot and feeling sorry for ourselves that it's empty. It's there for when our guest comes. Sure it's nice they come when we want but the world doesn't cater to our every whim. We must accept it as it is. When the guest arrives, the place is ready, the food is ready, all is set. If our invited guest simply doesn't show, then that spot is available for someone else to fill. But it must be available, so when company does come, we can make them feel at home, desired, appreciated and fuel their desire to return.

If we listen to the lies, the spot will begin to irritate us. A constant reminder of what we're lacking. We may clear it off. Toss the food. Drink the wine. Have ourselves a righteous little pity party. And then when company arrives unexpected, what do we do? We are not prepared. We have nothing to offer and they obligingly leave us alone. The void is necessary.

The void is progress. It means I'm not holding on to some long lost thing or faint hope. It means my affairs are in order. It means a spot has been made ready. I do not need to look at it in regret, as life would suggest, I can choose to look at it in expectations that soon it will be filled and enjoy the anticipation of what wonders that person will bring.

Update

2010-05-10T18:15:00.000-04:00

Well, without even looking at the blog before posting I know it's been quite a while since I posted.

Been busy, both at work and at home (although I do most of my postings from work (shhh....)) so a lack of time is certainly a factor but more-over I haven't felt inspired to do so.

But do not think that's from a lack of progress, nay, in fact quite the opposite. While I haven't suddenly materalized millions of dollars (I know that's what you're all looking for... relax, it'll happen... In fact, it already has, I just haven't reached that point yet, it's still ahead of me in this linear existence. Soon, soon.).
But I have come to a new level of understanding. My whole perspective has changed. And it's a change I know most won't be able to grasp, so it seems pointless in a way to discuss it.

But I get it now. I understand. I know what I'm here to do. And I know, that there is nothing that can stop me from achieving that, except my own self, my fears, my doubts, my own dramas. Or a sudden, unexpected death but that doesn't worry me in the slightest.   Yes, much might happen in the physical to cause interruption to one's journey. But as long as you remain focused on the end, not the present drama, you will eventually reach it.

Let say your body is like a car.   You're driving from NY to LA (or Toronto to Vancouver) and midway you get involved in a severe car accident.   Are you dead? No? Then you're journey is merely delayed, once you recover you can continue. Paralyzed? Fly. You may not know how or when you will ultimately arrive, but do not doubt you will.   You may get lost. Run out of gas and have to stop in some small town, find work and then bus. Who knows? But will you arrive. Yes. As long as that is your focus.

But people always get caught up in the now, in the past, in the imagined future of 'what if'.   They allow fear and doubt to deter them. Often it's deeply rooted and they cannot even pin-point the source of their procrastination.   None of it matters. There's you, and there's where you are going. Know you will arrive and go. Don't fuss over how, when, etc. Just know you'll get there and go.    The 12 Power P's of Enduring Success all come into play, certainly, you need Purpose, Plan, Promise, etc. But go, just go, live the life you were intended to live.    What is that life?   That's a question you must answer, and the answer is there, within you.   If you can calm yourself enough you will find it.

But people listen to all the nay-sayers and there will always be plenty of those, far, far more than yeah-sayers. In this case NY-LA is a poor example as people travel that now every day. When I was born, man was only just landing on the moon.   I'm sure before that occurred, a whole lot of people thought it'd never happen (some still don't believe it ever did!).   Before Columbus discovered the new world in search of India, few ever believe he could make the journey. The world was flat after all. Before Hannibal took elephants over the mountains to invade Rome, few, if any, would have thought it possible.    People always cast doubt. Nor does it have to be on anything so dramatic as reaching the moon.    When I was living on the streets, with no home, no job and no prospects, there were lots of other teens selling the prophesy of doom. You'll never make it. No one will give you a chance.  You're not any better than the rest of us and we couldn't do it, so why would you.   Why do they accept and sell those lies and disbeliefs? Largely because if they truly accepted it was possible then they'd have to take a long, hard look at why they themselves aren't doing it.   Don't listen to them. Know, just know you'll arrive and go.

I've so much more to say, but no more time at the moment. For I have places to go.

Quick update

2010-03-30T22:58:00.000-04:00

Just a quick update here. As one can easily tell I haven't been posting much on this blog recently mainly because I've been too preoccupied. I was doing a lot of work on my sister site www.thecuphalffull.com and then took on a major project at work which is where I do most of my posting from.

Really, it's a shame because I've had a number of breakthroughs which I'm not going to do justice to now, as I want to blog on thecuphalffull.com but here's some recent insights:

Paradigms - See the blog entry on thecuphalffull.com for more but specifically to me I realized that I tend to clutch onto love not because of 'who I am' but because of who my mother was. I adopted her faulty beliefs about love subconsciously even though I have always consciously rejected them. This realization has enabled me to free myself from this behaviour.

Loving unselfishly - I subsequently realized that I've had a somewhat selfish relationship with my ex and current BFF in that I was feeling and acting jealous because she's got a new man in her life. Having the above realization helped and I am now dedicated to loving unselfishly, looking only to pour into her life, not for what I want out of it, trusting that God will ensure I receive proper payback from a source that may not be the one I'm pouring into. Goes for everyone else too.

The conscious mind creates ideas but the subconscious creates things. It's simply not enough to hold ideas, desires, goals and dreams or purpose on the conscious level of our mind. On that level it remains only ideas and the conscious is constantly distracted by the now. In order to shift ideas into created reality they must be turned over to the subconscious mind which works tirelessly, 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year towards accomplishing the task without the idle distractions of the now. To do so requires either repeatedly and passionately envisioning and enacting your goals/dreams/purpose until the subconscious accepts it as fact or repeatedly and consistently pushing yourself into an act of doing until it becomes a habituated way of being. Once turned over to your subconscious, the subconscious mind will tirelessly and unceasingly direct the conscious to always be on the lookout of that which serves to turn the perceived reality into physical reality. It becomes an obsession and to quote 'The Cable Guy' you 'Get'er done.'

We have had past lives but not in the way commonly perceived. Some religions and people believe in past-lives. I've not accepted this because it's mathematically impossible for everyone alive today to have had even one past life let alone several. There are more people alive today than have ever died! Or close to it.
However, our soul is a part of God. It IS God. We are a part of that which we call God. God is in us. Therefore ALL our souls are part of God, of source energy, infinite intelligence, whatever you want to call it. And most definitely God has had countless, hundred of millions of past lives. Our souls have connection to all of them for we are all part of God. However, I suspect we have closer ties to some than others which is why it seems like they are 'our' past lives. They are not 'ours' in the sense that we alone experienced them, they are more like a shared experience that is in closer alignment to us than others.

It's been a while - Day 51 of 100 Day Start Fast Finish Strong Challenge

2010-03-05T12:10:00.000-05:00

Not going to talk much about the 100 day challenge.   Not getting a lot out of it the second time round although, I am getting something out of it.

I haven't posted recently but you'll see on my other blog http://www.thecuphalffull.com/ I've been posting up a storm for the last couple of weeks.

The most significant thing I think in my life right now, worth noting, is that I am at the part of the book, Awaken the Giant Within, where Anthony Robbins gets to NAC - Neuro Associative Conditioning. Or in short, rewiring your brain for success. Changing what you link pain and pleasure too.

I'm excited because I remember this. I remember this working.   I was really becoming a powerhouse when I started using it only to be totally knocked off the rails by the end of my marriage.   Well if it worked so well, why didn't I keep using it?   Lacked the P's my friend. Lacked the P's.

Didn't have the Patience.
I was mad at God so I wasn't Positive, stopped finding grace in Prayer, forgot the Promise.
Let my Passion slip, which undermind my Persistence, halted my Progress and I lost sight of my Purpose.
My Perspective was all wrong at the time, I was only focused on me for one.
In the end, the loss of my marriage was simply not a Price I was willing to pay.   Had I had the right Perspective, that has come with age, experience, and a lot of study, I would have seen God had even greater heights for me.   I would realized that the pain would pass and keep my mind only on the joy, on the lessons learned and on the end goal, knowing that whatever I lost would be replaced and replaced in spades.

See http://www.thecuphalffull.com/ for more on the Power 'P's for Enduring Success.

But at that time, I simply didn't want to let go. That love was the best thing I had ever experienced in my life. I didn't want to lose that!   I couldn't envision anything better. LOL.   How pathetic considering, in hindsight, it wasn't all that good. It was troubled, we were quite young and both came from less than ideal upbringing. We had issues and lacked the maturity to deal with them or each other.    I became fixated on relying on my understanding and my strength instead of trusting in God's and keeping my focus on where I was going, not where I had been.

So many years later, and in reflecting here I see I'm still held back by a lack of vision - better than what I had (or my parents had) is still good enough for me. It shouldn't be. I am capable of so much more - why shouldn't I enjoy the finer things in life? It is not a crime to be rich, only a crime to seek money above all things.   If in the process of helping others, I become rich, there is no shame in that and if imagining some of the benefits of having wealth helps motivate me to do what's right, why not?   I need to expand my vision and be specific.    And I need to stop looking back fondly on things that were.   As nice as they were, God has better yet in store for me, but I can't get there if I'm looking backwards.

And I see how some old habits die hard.    I look forward to using NAC and the Power P's to fundamentally change my life.

Day 20 of the Start Fast / Finish Strong 100 Day Challenge - Take 2

2010-02-04T12:51:00.000-05:00

Today's message was a really interesting one in the Start Fast / Finish Strong 100 Day Challenge.   In it Gary Ryan Blair talks about making a 'quantum leap' and going from A to Z without having to work your way through the rest of the alphabet or in the stated example to go from a bank teller to Vice President within a year.

It's probably the most contraversial topic in the entire 100 days but it's an interesting idea. He argues (and is going against traditional Personal Development gurus like Bob Proctor) that the only reason you have to go step by step is because we believe and accept we must but if we just step out in faith that we'll get to the end goal, now, instead of 20 years from now, then we can make it happen.

Personally sounds like a recipe for disaster to me. Not because it's a bad idea to hold the end result in mind and expect it now, that's fine, but because extremely few people would be able to maintain that level of conviction despite all prevailing opinion and circumstance.   Even those few who do have to deal with the reality that other's may not take too kindly to their 'leapfrogging' and actively (if subconsciously) use Law of Attraction against them. They would rather see the person who's been waiting and in their opinion deserves to be VP be VP rather than some arrogant upstart.

But is it possible? Anything is possible. Stranger things have happened. And a few really charasmatic people could probably pull it off but I wouldn't recommend it except to the very few.

But I digress, the reason for my post today is because during the video/audio Blair asks 'What would you do if you were guaranteed success? What specific actions would you take?'

I paused there and thought about that.   Aside from buying a lottery ticket or betting on a horse, I couldn't think of anything I would be doing that I wasn't already in the midst of doing. Considering Angelina Jolie, Jessica Alba and Miriah Carey (she makes me laugh) are all taken, then there's no one I would rather be pursuing than the woman I'm currently pursuing.

I'm already trying to get my book published.

Already working on my website.   Now if I was guaranteed it be super successful would I go ahead and do the full site instead of a blog?   No, I'd be writing books and stories full time and still wouldn't want to designate that amount of time to the web. If I could hire someone to do the bulk of the work, then yes.

Already hitting the gym.

Oh, I would sell my house for a large profit, but not so much that the new owners would lose their shirts on it. And I'd slap some ridiculously hugely profitable ad on my website for you all to click on and make me lots of money - as long as it was for your benefit and ethical.

So really, I wouldn't change anything.   That's a wonderful realization.

Day 20 of the Start Fast / Finish Strong Challenge - Take 2

2010-02-03T13:21:00.000-05:00

I'm struggling.   Struggling to really find that burning passion within. Struggling to define what I really want to do and who I really want to be.   Funny, I thought I had this all figured out.

Last 100 Day Challenge I think, well, I know, I got too ambitious and tried to do too many different things and find success on too many different levels. I spread myself too thin and while I accomplished a lot I didn't reach many of the goals I had set. Of course, some weren't really realistic.

What I did have then that I'm really struggling with now is gusto. I was motivated. I was working hard on doing so many things simulataneously. Now I have given myself an easier plate to carry but cannot seem to build up that level of excitement again.

There are some contributing factors - While I am building a relationship with an outstanding woman, it's going very slowly (she's not even in the country at the moment, she's on a 17 day vacation in India) and it's hard to be really excited when you're constantly slamming on the brakes to make sure you don't pass the target.

My last relationship in comparison was very exciting, like a fairy tale at the beginning, almost unreal in quality, very passionate but in the end, it didn't last did it? This time it's completely different as this woman is determined to take her time and ensure I'm the quality of man she wants before really allowing her passions to flow. It's a good idea, and I certainly can't fault her, especially given how her last relationship went, but patience has never been my strong suit. I'm feeling very restrained but hopefully, a more restrained and logical approach will result in a better long term success. But it's dulling my enthusiasm at the moment.

Finances are also bothersome. I have a plan for paying down my debt but here's life throwing in curve balls which will increase my debt by more than I was even hoping to pay it down by. It's unavoidable unfortunately and if I want to still get my debt load paid off by 1/3 I'm going to have to really make some deep painful cuts or somehow increase my income in short order.

My website ambitious are another factor - I've felt very torn on how to progress, flip flopping from a full on website like I had originally planned to just a blog as I originally (and still) had to something inbetween.
The problem is doing the site I wanted will simply become a full time job, several in fact, without pay, at least without adequate pay for an extended duration.   Which would be okay, if I didn't have a full time job, a budding relationship and a writing career I want to pursue.

I originally envisioned making the website highly profitable within 3 months and quitting my job.   But then 'reality' came crashing down on me and it became apparent that, barring devine insight, through traditional methods, it would take a year, or more, to get the site to a level were I could expect to modestly live off the proceeds.   A year of full time work on top of my full time job, writing, relationships and other life demands. Although I'm loathe to leave my concept, that is a price I'm not willing to bare. It would cause too much imbalance in my life and suck the joy out of it. But to just maintain it as an non-profit(able) blog is equally distasteful.

Currently, I'm at the stage of putting it on hold, just blogging for now, until my writing career takes off, allow me to quit my government job, and have more time to invest in building a website. But I'm not happy.

Which is the point.   Goals are suppose to make me happy and currently, they are not.   In other areas things are going better, I'm still hitting the gym with good results for instance and an agent is currently reviewing my book but it's hard to not allow these three areas of discontent affect me in other areas especially when those other areas are just keep writing, keep working out and not terribly exciting until I actually get a contract signed for my book.

Trick is to keep focusing on what I want but with my website in particular, I just don't know what that is anymore.

Day 15 of The Start Fast / Finish Strong 100 Day Challenge - Take 2

2010-01-30T11:13:00.000-05:00

Okay, technically, I'm on day 17 but I haven't had time to listen to day's 16 and 17 yet and I've had this post openned but not written for two days so let's, in the words of Larry the Cable Guy, 'getter done'.

The reason it's taking me two days to get around to this post is because I didn't feel I had anything to write about. I sometimes forget, and have to remind myself, this blog, unlike http://www.thecuphalffull.com/ isn't meant to show pure uplifting messenging.   It's to show how difficult this road can be, but to show it is achievable.

I want you dear readers to see both my ups and down and even the boring parts.

As for the 100 Day Challenge, it's all well and good but it's hasn't been a source of growth for me since the last post (which was great).

Recently I've really started to get into meditation. Just a quick five to ten minutes a day of relaxing, clearing my mind and openning up my self to more devine insight.

On Thursday on my commute back home I was trying to meditate but my mind was filled with all the news off of the games forum I frequent when I'm bored at my work (which is a considerable amount these days). In meditation you're suppose to merely acknowledge each thought and let it pass, which is what I was doing but it was thought after thought of utterly useless video game information, most of which I honestly don't even care about. Then devine insight happened.   I'm obsessed with this site.

Ironically, that was a happy thought. Currently, as you know if you're following this blog, I'm reading Anthony Robbin's Awaken the Giant Within. In it Tony talks about using pain and pleasure to form life altering habits for the better until they become habitual or better yet, like an obsession.   I had read that before and understood the principal but never had any success in trying to create an onsessive behaviour. And now, here I was discovering I had, unwittingly, done exactly that.

Reflecting on it, I could see how it had happened.   When I started in my current position we were extremely busy in the summer but slow in the winter.   So during the winter months I'd occasionally have some free time and fill it with a wide range of internet sites. I looked at comic book news (I worked in the industry in the 90's and still like to follow it even though I'm not a collector), video game news, movie news, political news, general news, date sites (don't tell), I even worked on my book until people complained about it. Over the course of the next nine years (Lord, has it been that long?) our business has become slower and slower to the point now where even during the summer months I need to fill considerable down time and the winter months are virtually all downtime needing to be filled.

So applying the pain/pleasure formula (we move away from pain and towards pleasure): boredom was the pain and the games forum provided the best escape from boredom for a couple main reasons, unlike news, there was always fresh posts on the forums and debates to get into and secondly at that time the Nintendo Wii was launching at it's success (which I predicted) came with tremendous uproar from the established gaming community.   It didn't meet their predetermined idea of what a games console should be and many outright hated it as they resented the fact that it was vastly outsell the consoles that they felt did it 'right.'   Such drama is always fun to watch - and occasionally stir up with more predictions of success.

Over time, it became a habit and over more time it became an obsessive behaviour where even if I'm at home and bore I feel a complusion to see what's happening on the forum.

The great thing about all this is that I now have a working example of how to create an obsessive behaviour. Now all I need to do is recreate that with something that's more beneficial to me over the long term, like my website.

Day 12 of the 100 Day Start Fast / Finish Strong Challenge - Take 2

2010-01-25T12:52:00.000-05:00

This is a record of my progress towards accomplishing my goals and dreams using the following tools:

The Start Fast / Finish Strong Challenge (currently taking it for the second time, first of three times I will do the challenge this year)
Anthony's Robbins' book Awaken The Giant Within (currently on Chapter 3), alternating with Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich - each to be read three times this year
Six Minutes to Success by Bob Proctor - Daily motivational videos

I am ashamed. I am truly ashamed of myself. I talk a good talk but am I walking the walk? Sometimes but not the last few days, that's for certain. Not to say I haven't done anything. I have. I did goto the gym Saturday and did work on the website Sunday. Spent time with my kids and niece and nephew - that's not without merit. But I have terribly lacked focus. My weekend should have been much more productive than it was.

Great quote today from Six Minutes to Success:

"There is absolutely nothing that separates the elite from the paupers except expectations." J. Arthur Holcome

Currently I am dating a marvelous woman. One of her most admirable qualities is her persistence in maintaining great expectations. She demands more of herself, mostly for her children's benefit and expects to achieve it. She does not allow normal or even exceptional circumstances to sway those expectations. Therefore, she's accomplished a tremendous coming from the background she did. I'm very grateful to have her in my life.

My expectations at the moment are pathetically low. Not to say they couldn't be worse, they certainly could be. I have a nice house, car, job, kids, friends, wonderful woman in my life but I am settling for far, FAR less than I am capable of achieving. My house and car need repairs. I am not being a (pro)active enough part of my children's lives. I am not giving enough to my friends. Nor have I truly opened myself up enough to my woman. I am allowing myself to be content with less. The safer, easier route.

No. No. NO. It cannot continue like that.

One of the absolute best moments in the 100 Day Challenge is Day 11 - Shock Therapy. In it Gary Ryan Blair reads you a 'Dear John' letter from your own hopes and dreams. You know, the ones you keep promising that one day you'll be together. The ones you keep putting off time and again because it's too hard, your too tired, maybe tomorrow. Those hopes and dreams have had enough. If you cannot find it in yourself to come to them, they will find someone else who will. It may sound a little corny here but Gary delivers it excellently and it'll have you in tears.

We do not live forever. Hell, tomorrow is not even guaranteed to you. You have now. This moment. How are you living now? Are you living a life you would be proud of? Or are you still waiting for that life to someday find you? You do not have endless tomorrows. Dreams cannot be put off indefinitely. They will die. Nor will the right moment ever come. You have to create it. And if it did come, right now, this instant, are you even ready to embrace it? Probably not. It'd pass you right on by. We must take action, I must take action, now. Today and every day.

It does not ultimately matter if I reach all my goals (and I never will because as long as I'm alive I'll keep setting new ones) but it matters entirely that I am running towards them. For then and only then am I living.
The rest of the time, we're in spiritual decay. It's time to run.

The 100 Day Start Fast / Finish Strong Challenge - Day 9, Take 2

2010-01-22T17:32:00.000-05:00

Technology really sucks sometimes.   Although I didn't take the time to blog about each day, I did take the time to make a list of what each day's message was but now due to a technical glitch, that list is gone.

Obviously I could just go back and review each's days message, later, but as I've already delayed this posting this long I'm loathe to delay it even further.   So I'm just going to take it as a sign from above to use a different approach and post anyway.

Over the last week the focus has been related to the theme of creating a sense of urgency.   Each day is a somewhat different aspect, and todays was about asking for what you want but mostly it's all amount to getting yourself to act now.

And considering it's taken me a week to post, I can only surmise I haven't been following too closely. LOL. Sad.

So far my Challenge has been off to a very rocky start.   I have not been able to focus enough to really make any sort of progress on any front at all.   This is partly due to a private struggle I've been dealing with and partly due to a sense of disconnect with my goals (see Course Correction).

I'm also slowly making my way through Awaken the Giant Within but haven't had time (or focus) to do the first major excerise (writing out the pains of current behaviour and the pleasures of achiving desired behaviours).   Currently on the 3rd (?) chapter on beliefs.

Six Minutes to success has had some good stuff this week as well. Been more impactful than usual.

As for what I'm doing in my life as a result of all this goodness I've been pouring in - The primary thing I've been learning to do is stay within a sphere of joy.

For example - I had a situation which caused me considerable anxiety this week.   Instead of focusing on the issue, I began to do fun things to distract myself.   After a bit, I began to really question what I was doing as it seemed a total waste of time.   However, my sense was to continue, to merely allow myself to be in a constant state of joy and that the answer would come to me if I stayed in that state. This isn't normal behaviour for me, usually I like to tackle things head on but it felt right so I went along with it.   After a few days, the answers did come.   As they came, I could immediately feel the 'rightness' about them.   They came with a sense of peace and certainty.

In hindsight, I truly believe that if I had tried to focus on the problems, I would have continued to be in an state of agitation and anxiety.   In such a frame of mind I would not have been as open to finding these answers and the peace they have brought.

In particular, I was intent on making a go of really developing my website.   The clarity that it isn't my primary purpose isn't a shock I suppose but it is a departure from my thinking up until this point. In hindsight it seems obvious but before it was an issue I was struggling with and it was causing me to become detached to the very thing I was trying to convince myself I needed to focus so much effort, money and energy into.

If I hadn't taken these few days to 'goof off' and live in a state of joy despite the agitations on my life, I no doubt would be investing time, energy and money into more web development - consequently wasting far greater amounts of my time.

Now someone may look at this and say, 'oh he's just justifying quitting' but really it's more of realigning with my primary purpose.   I am a writer, first and foremost and getting my books and stories published must be my main focus.   This website should not be dragging me away from that and it most certainly would have if I had continued down the path I had been on.

Being in a continuous state of joy, whether by reaching out to God or merely playing my Wii or talking to my friends and girlfriend has also given me a much quicker return to balance after being knocked for a loop by an unexpected issue, than I previously would have.

Ironically, that personal development is about as far removed from having a sense of urgency as you can get. Or is it?   I've often heard that high powered people are able to remove themselves mentally from their immediate situation, find that place of peace and balance within, make a decision on how to act from that peace (and not from the chaos) and then act on that confidently and decisively.    That is what I am doing here.   It's just taken me a while, and the more I practice retreating into joy, the faster and more effective I will become.

Course Correction

2010-01-21T07:41:00.036-05:00

LOL

Okay, I just have to laugh at myself.   Here I am, promising daily updates and it takes me a week to post another one. I have had some personal issue occupying my time and thoughts but moreover, I had a feeling of disconnect with my website ambitions.

As a consquence, and taking a lead from my spiritual being, I focused on finding my joy, while letting the thoughts of where to take my website, and other ambitions percolate in the back of my mind. In time the answers, to the questions I didn't even know I had, came to me.

While I do have a very firm desire to really build up my website, make a decent living from it and use it to reach thousands, if not millions of people with a message of hope, it is not my primary purpose in life.   I will do it, one day, in due time.   But for now I need to focus on my writing career, on my budding relationship and on my current source of income.

Turning this blog into the full-blown website I envision would be a full career in itself and not a hobby.  While I'm happy to leave my current career path as a civil servant, I would not ultimately want the development, marketing and maintainance of this site to occupy my time so much that it takes away from my writing and relationship.    And if I am to do it justice, then that's exactly what would happen.   Not forever but for a considerable period of time until I was earning enough to hire additional support staff.

Now that might be limited thinking on my part but the bottom line is this: My purpose is to write and reach people through my writing first and foremost and that is where I need to focus the bulk of my attention.   I will continue to blog and develop this website in my spare time.

Coming to this conclusion has really put my mind at ease and has put the 'joy' back into working on this blog.
I look forward to having fun, implementing much of the functionality I have been planning and working on, without going crazy trying to make a 'professional' site.   More of a personal journey we can share together.

The 100 Day Start Fast / Finish Strong Challenge, Take Two, Day 2

2010-01-15T16:59:00.000-05:00

For us 'Alumni' members they restarted the challenge a little later than the rest of the world so I'm only on Day 2 as of this writing.

I'm going to attempt to blog daily on my progress.

Let me mention that as well as doing the 100 Day Challenge, I am also reading Awaken the Giant Within and may reference that from time to time. Also I get daily videos from Six Minutes to Success and various e-mail from different inspirational sources.

Day one the 100 Day Challenge prompts you to 'Get Serious' and prompts you to seriously address your goals and make sure you are actually 100% serious about accomplishing them.    In retrospect, I reduced one of my goals - paying off my credit card to paying down my credit card by a set amount as I felt I couldn't forsee how I would pay it off.   If you don't believe it, it's not going to happen. In fact, you will only make a token attempt at it.    With my reduced goal I do believe it's possible, if very challenging, so I am more likely to really do everything I can to accomplish it.

Day two and the message is to 'Be Bold'.   Oddly, this is the same message as Six Minutes today. In Six Minutes Bob Proctor notes that in a book looking at 18 young millionaires, they acknowledge that each one of them makes decisions regularly take could have a major impact on their finances.   That is to say, they are risking it all regularly, or at least risking large parts of it.     How often do we do that? I don't think I've ever done anything that could potentially risk my financial future, not even for a great reward. I doubt many very much the vast majority of you have either.

We all guard over our precious little funds. Afraid to lose what little we have. But those who succeed in making large fortunes regularly risk what they have in the interests of gaining more.   Does it always pay off? No. Look at Donald Trump's rise, fall and rise again. However they take calculated risks. They are not fools.   They are not gambling thier fortunes at Los Vegas casinos (not to say they don't ever gamble, but just for fun not profit), they are making shrewd business decisions.   But it's still a risk.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not recommending you start betting your future on some idea you've had.   Remember, everyone makes mistakes.   People like Donald Trump has made many, and learned from them, and now makes very shrewd decisions because of them.   Also, most of these people have mentors, or role models they learned from and emulate.   Just betting the farm on some idea, no matter how great, is foolish, when you've no experience in making such decisions.   Take the time to study, and find a role model. Someone who has already gone down the path you're looking at and learn from them.   Then start making smart calculated risks. You will win some and lose some. Fine.   Learn from the loses, capitalize on the wins.   As you progress, you'll get better and better and richer and richer.

Point is though, you've got to be willing to accept risk at all.   Until you are, you are not going anywhere.

As for myself, that's an issue I too need to address. However at this moment, the only place where I might be risking money is in website development and that's an area where I need to sit down still and really, really nail down my business plan before I shell out anymore.

I've set my goals as follows:

1) To finish revising my book Dillon's Dilemma and get an agent.
2) To create a sound business plan for my website, get developing underway and start marketing
3) To hit the gym 4 days a week and increase my weight (muscle only) to 180lbs, eat healthy and regularly
4) To continue to develop my relationship with the wonderful woman I attracted during the last 100 Days
5) To pay off my cc debt by a third

Biggest challenge right now is self motivation and discipline.

100 Day Start Fast, Finish Strong Challenge Review

2010-01-07T15:03:00.001-05:00

So I completed 'The Goal Guys' 100 Day Start Fast / Finish Strong Challenge.

I have blogged on my progress throughout the 100 day period and you can go back and see how I progressed throughout. In this blog I'll do a quick summary of my experience.

At first blush ending the year with a 100 Day Challenge seemed like a wonderful idea.   However, in practice this is not an ideal time to do the challenge.   The main reason being Christmas.    The holiday season totally derailed both myself and my challenge buddy and I'm sure a lot of other people as well.     So much for Finishing Strong.

My other major thought about the entire experience is that they encourage you to set lofty goals. Five of them in fact.   Any one of my lofty goals would have consumed all of my available spare time if given thier full due. Having five to juggle was an act of insanity.   I did benefit greatly at the start from two things: 1) I had taken a month of work and used it to kickstart my goals. 2) I delegated.

Add the insanity of Christmas with gift buying, visiting relatives, planning, preparing and hosting Christmas dinners and something simply has to give.

In the end I do consider 2 of the 5 successfully accomplished. Which is in fact a marvelous accomplishment! All 5 were significantly propelled forward and the timelines for the other 3 were never really realistic in the first place, however I didn't realize just how unrealistic my website goals were until I was well invested in it.

To add further insult to injury, the 100 Day Challenge gives you daily goals to work on.   Truth be told I never did a single one of them.   I was already overwhelmed with the five goals I had set, on top of my daily responsibilities.   I know Cathy did aspire to work on them but in the end, I know she wasn't very successful on that front either for the same reasons.

In retrospect I would have been better served with setting only two, maybe three major goals to work on during the challenge.   That would have allowed a lot more focus on those specific goals.   Having only two goals would also have allowed me to actually focus on the given daily goals. Either that or 5 fairly manageable goals.

In the end, was it worth doing?

Absolutely!!

Anything that gets you to take constant, direct and ongoing action towards your goals is worth doing.

Since it's the beginning of a new decade I was looking back and reflecting on what I have accomplished over the last decade.   Much of what went on that list was done within the last 100 days.   If I had been as focused as I was during the challenge for the rest of the decade, I would be in a very different place than I am at today.

Which is why I am doing it again!!

Yes, that's right, as of January 11th I am restarting the 100 Day Challenge. I will repeat it two more times after that.    There are 365 days in a year and for 300 of them, I will be focused on my goals and on bettering myself.      The other 65 I'm going to screw off. lol.   Well, I'm sure I'll still be moving things forward, but I'll be doing it at a different pace.   Likely take a vacation in those pauses too.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit." - Aristotle

My goal in doing this is to create a lasting pattern of change. Through continued focus and repetition I expect to be able to make some permenant changes to my habitual way of being.   Resulting in explosive growth in my life.

Ultimately, it's not what you know. It's what you do.   As Marvel Entertainment was so fond of bashing into our heads as kids during G.I.Joe and Transformer cartoons; "Knowing is half the battle!"  Yes, but only half! A lot of people know what they should be doing, but they are held back by their habitual way of being.   Living in their comfort zones.

2010 is my breakout year.   I will achieve substancial results this year through direct and continous action.

The 100 Day Start Fast / Finish Strong Challenge will be one of the key components to making truly life changing differences in my life.

I encourage you all to take this journey with me.   Sign up for the challenge yourself or just continue to follow my progress in this blog and it's sister website - http://www.thecuphalffull.com/

If you are considering taking the 100 Day Start Fast / Finish Strong Challenge here are my recommendations.

Remember that you only have 100 days to achieve your goals and that the rest of your life is not going to suddenly disappear while you work on them.   You can change your priorities but you likely cannot divest yourself of your other responsibilities.

Therefore either focus on only a couple of huge goals, and the daily goals or make your goals aggressive but not monstrous.   Ask yourself, "How will I find time daily to work on each of these goals?"   Be realistic about the time commitment of each.

For myself I had a fitness goal of putting on 10-15 lbs of muscle. That required going to the gym for an hour five or six days a week. That's already an hour out of each day and I still had four other goals to see about!!

Commiting myself to get into a relationship proved a monsterous time consumer as I spent endless hours on websites, on the phone with women and on dates, not to mention the financial reality of dating a lot of different women over a short period of time.   I probably spent three hours a day on average on this single goal.

My website goals proved far more ambitious than I had even thought.   Even delegating much of the work out, I still spent about two or three a day average, (often more) working on not only blogging, but researching, designing, marketing and building a website.   Just getting a logo alone was a massive time drain with a constant back and forth trying to get the concept I had in my head captured in an image.

Which those three goals I already had a time investment of six to seven hours a day!   Plus my job, my kids, my regular boring life (laundry, repairs, showering, friends, etc.) there was no time left for anything else!

Most of the work that was done on my book was done by someone other than myself and thank God for that!!   However I was trying to squeeze in time for that too.

My last goal, a financial one ended up being totally reliant on my website development and my book getting published as there simply wasn't any time left to look into or work on other possibilities.

So do yourself a favour, if you're going to take on five goals, make sure you can move each of them forward meaningfully with as little as a half hour a day commitment.   That may work for some (health) but not others (relationships). Do the math.   In 100 days at 30 minutes a day, you will spend 300 hours working on each goal.   What is a realistic goal to finish in that time?

It's okay to want to make a million dollars but unless you have some incredible gem of an idea, it won't happen in 100 days.   But you can set a goal that will help set you up to be earning a lot more than you do now. Like finding a new job or taking a college course (which I was also doing!) or getting a business going.

Find a challenge buddy.   It was very beneficial to have someone to report too and to hold me accountable.

Be prepared for the mid-way slump.    Both Cathy and I got discouraged at the half way mark.   Mainly because you're forced to realize that you are half way to the end of your time frame but do not have your goals fifty percent completed.    This will most likely be your reality too.   Things always take longer than expected and unexpected problems are sure to arise.   Don't sweat it. The ultimate point is that you are making your life measurably better.    Also, change can be slow but at times it can be incredibly swift.   You could come in touch with the right person, situation or opportunity to suddenly propel you forward.   You never know when those will come so just stay committed to your goal.

In the end, even if you miss your completion date it doesn't mean you failed, you just need to keep on keeping on. In the end 100 days of action and focus can ultimately only do one thing: make your life better.

I look forward to seeing you in the circle of excellence.

Day 80 of the Start Fast, Finish Strong Challenge

2009-12-18T12:38:00.001-05:00

Okay, if you can add it's closer to day 85 but whatever, it's also time for my review so this is a nice way to kill two birds with one stone.

There's been a couple of really good messages on the challenge lately (focus, branding), and some so so ones.

The biggest challenge at this point is Christmas.   It's an absolutely horrible distraction when you're trying to 'finish strong' and really makes you think twice about using the last 100 days of the year for this program.   Probably the first 100 would be a better option.

Okay, update on my various goals:

Health: Reached my goal Early!! Well my initial goal, some time ago, but I lost a little of the weight and not regained it.   Not going to reach my revised goal (well, maybe, putting on weight around Christmas shouldn't be a problem...)

Relationship: I am just about ready to call this one complete too.   Certainly should be reached by end of year.

Writing: The chances of me getting a publisher between now and the end of the year are extremely slim to none and slim is boarding a bus.    However, this wasn't the most realistic goal in the first place and one I didn't really apply myself too.    Despite that I have made fantastic strides getting in getting it editted, getting an agent interested and am now working on revising the first three chapters based on editoral feedback (should have been done weeks ago) to send to the agent.    I am estatic about how good the revisions are coming along.   They are really making it a stronger book all around.

Website: Again, not the most realistic goal and nothing short of a small, gracious miracle will get me to my goal now. However, again, fantastic strides have been made. And again, this is a goal I didn't give as much attention as it really deserved or required.   However, to be honest, I really didn't know what I was getting myself into.    Running a website business is a FAR cry from running a blog.    There's SO much to learn and do and it'll take me months to really master everything.    It's also really hard to do it part-time while also working on other goals.     I now have a logo for the website.    Development is currently on slow while I concentrate on my book.

Finances: Ah... yeah.... Well... this one was always tied directly into Writing, website and investment.   Investment was put on hold long ago now because I need to have a worthwhile amount of cash to start with. Writing and web have already been talked about above.    My biggest failing here really is a lack of focus on marketing my website.   And that's because of how I've structured my time.    When I do my web work it's not possible for me to be going onto social sites to market it.     When I could go onto those sites I'm too busy hitting the gym, working on relationships and writing plus normal day to day living.   So it's been overlooked.

Overall:   I must say, despite the fact that I may fall short of reaching all my goals, I have made tremendous progress in reshaping my life.   I am much healther, have a budding relationship with an outstanding woman, plus made super valuable friends along the way, my book is going from good to 'great' and I am very confident it WILL be published, it's only a matter of time.   My website is happening and really is a source of great pride and joy for me. It will take some time, in the normal course of things, to build up and become substancial and really start to make me serious cash, but I don't doubt it'll happen.    It also needs to really establish a 'brand' and identity that seperates it from the crowd, but I do feel that is happening.   With a book going to be published and website business launching I can certainly see the day when all my goals here will be accomplished even if it hasn't happened within the initial 100 days.

I would really love to repeat the challenge but with fewer goals so I can actually have time to impliment the daily goals the challenge gives you.   As is, both my challenge buddy and I have felt overwhelmed by taking on 5 goals on top of already busy lives (especially now around Christmas).   I'm not sure if all the lessons will remain open to me once the challenge is over or if I'd have to pay again. Hopefully the former.

Another 15+ days to go.   It is Christmas, the time of miracles so here's hopeing there'll be a Christmas miracle for me.

Epiphany

2009-12-05T17:13:00.000-05:00

I had blog earlier about how it had (finally) occured to me that I might be a little bi-polar.

Oh wait....

Upon closer inspection it appears I didn't.   Although after writing 'Hiding in the Closet' it occurred to me for the first time that I might be.   It runs in my family.

Wednesday I was feeling quite on top of the world. By Friday I was feeling depressed.   What happened? Nothing. That's the point.   I had no reason at all for the mood change.   By all right I should still have been feeling great.

However, when I began to feel down I did what I always do, wonder why. And that's when it hit me. Fortunately I had just written about beliefs and references here. I stopped looking for reasons to look sad and said to myself. What if I just feel sad for no reason?   By looking for reasons to be sad I have inadvertantly been providing references for a belief that I had legitimate reason to be sad. That is to say, issues in my life that were causing me to feel that way.   At times, of course I do. We all do.   But not always.   Often I just feel sad for no apparent reason - until I go attaching some.

By realizing that the feeling of depression is merely that - a feeling - unsubstanciated but any cause - I free myself from fighting causes (that generally aren't actually affecting my mood) to just working to snap myself out of an emotional state.

Worse, because I spend time looking for causes and then putting my energy against them I end up using the Law of Vibration/Attraction against myself!!    Now I can just say to myself, 'It's just a feeling' and do those things that I know will put my back into a positive frame of mind (dancing, blogging).

That may not seem like much in the bog scheme of things, but it represents a fundimental shift in my use of energy and of my vibrational pattern.   At least it will if I can continue to recognize the feeling as just that and not fall into the habit of justifying it.    If I can create a habit of immediately doing things to snap me out of negative feelings then it'll allow my vibration to remain positive consistantly (instead of the up and downs I now have) and that should diametrically increase my life.

Day 70 of 100 Day Challenge

2009-12-05T16:34:00.000-05:00

I've lots to do so I'm going to try to keep this short however, it's been 10 days since I last posted how I'm doing on the 100 Day Challenge so let me bring you up to date.

I wish I had some terrific dramatic news but I don't however, I do have progress!

Quickly here:

Fitness goal - Off track at the moment but continuing.   Missed the last four days (only able to exercise at home not at the gym) but hit it the previous 3 days and will again today.   Not even sure of my weight at the moment.

Website - Wednesday was a great day.   I got two independant confirmations that what I'm doing on my website is being seen and matters! One by word of mouth and the other came to me in person to tell me how much they appreciated my posts.    That was really inspiring at a time where my tracking was showing no traffic and I was wondering if anybody cared at all.     Turns out my tracker broke somehow so I just reset it.

Otherwise I have been steadily working away at it doing a lot of the backend high level work of trying to decide upon colours and design, layout, functionality, talking to the IT and creative, getting a logo made, etc., while continuing to blog regularly.

Writing - Did I mention Wednesday was a great day?   I've gotten almost no work done on my book. My laptop battery is near useless now, and barely worth even taking my laptop anywhere.   I have ordered a new battery.   However! Turns out we are having some guest speakers at my new Creative Writing class including a Jr. Agent which deals with Young Adult Novels. Boo-ya!!

Financial Independence - As always ties into writing/web. Currently seeing a big fat zero from either but both are progressing and show promise.    The concepts behind the web are really starting to gel and I'm beginning to see how I'm going to really set myself apart from everything else out on the market.   It's all a matter of time and hard work.   God willing, things will fall into place quickly enough to make my 100 Day Challenge goals.

Romance - Things have finally stabilized from having three prospectives to one girl I'm seeing regularly.   Still early on this one but we have a great repore and respect for each other and things are progressing smoothly if somewhat slowly.

Thoughts on the Challenge itself.    The daily audio/video clips are becoming almost meaningless to me now as I'm pretty set in what I'm doing and not focusing on the daily challenges, at all.    Really, I'd love to repeat the 100 Day Challenge (hope I don't have to pay again...) with smaller, less grandiouse goals and work the Challenge goals a lot more to develop character.   As it is, I've picked such large goals I don't feel like I have time for anything else.

That it for now.

Coaching Conundrum

2009-12-02T12:30:00.000-05:00

Jack Canfield's company sent me an e-mail with a special offer which linked to a website which, to make a long story short, was a front for his coaching program.

Now Jack Canfield offers perhaps the finest success coaching program around.   It's very organized, structured and I'm sure very, very good.

I had applied for it once before, about a year or two ago but was amazed when they turned me down.   Apparently being totally confident of my abilities wasn't a good thing in there eyes.

Unexpectedly given the opportunity again, I had to admit, despite my confidence last time, I still was not living the life I desired.

While I was (and am) taking the 100 Day Challenge I wasn't exactly working that program hard, despite having a challenge buddy (She needs to kick my ass more).   I am still working on the website, to be sure, barely touching my book editting at the moment, making progress on a relationship with a truly outstanding woman (Thank you God!!), keeping steady with my exercises and nicely toning my body. Heck, except for working on my book (currently need to do a query letter for an agent that's coming to my writing class), I'm actually doing pretty good...   But I really need to be applying myself a lot harder if I expect to generate the kind of results I want.   A lot harder. A lot smarter and a lot more efficiently.

Perhaps a Canfield Coach could help with that.

So I went throught the process, was approved and committed my $3,899.00 US.

What?! Yeah, that's a good chuck of change all right. What does it get you?

A program to follow.   8 thirty minutes calls from your coach.   Unlimited access to their coach line for six months.   If you havn't had results after six months despite doing everything they asked, they continue to work with you free of charge.

The vast bulk of the work, is, of course, with you.   I had to commit to working thier program 30 minutes a day (about 5 hours a week), being called by or calling their coach weekly for six month. Doing various exercises and reviews. After all if you don't work the program, the program can't work.

Here's the thing.   I told my best friend and she reminded me that I am already an expert in the field.

Honestly, she's right.    I've been studying personal development for over 20 years now.   I've studied the greats from Waddles, Hill, Carnagie, Covey, Robbins, Proctor, Nightingale, Zigler, Hicks, Canfield himself amoungst others, watched 'The Secret' multiple times, and attacked it from the religious angle through church, Osteen, Peale, and others.

I had no expectations that this coach would tell me any new insightful information.   I only expected him to remind me about what I already knew. To put me on a program. To hold me accountable.

Wait. What? That's when it hit me.   Why am I paying someone $4,000.00 Cdn to tell me what I already know?   To put me on a program I can just as well create myself or simply purchase Jack Canfield's book 'The Success Principals' and derive from that? To hold me accountable? Why don't I just man-up and grow-up and commit 30 minutes a day to myself? Review and coach myself? And damn well pay myself $4,000.00.

So that's exactly what I'm going to do. I've cancelled with Canfield and I'm going to take that money (from my credit card) and put it into my own (high interest) Savings Account.   There it will sit for six months, untouched, while I devote thirty minutes a day to personal development, review weekly and coach myself using twenty years of knowledge.   If I obtain significant results - minimum result would be to have earned an additional $4,000.00 and paid off the credit card. Then I'll move the $4,000.00 payment into my active chequeing account.   If I don't. Then I'll give myself a money back guarantee and fully reimburse myself.

What do I have to lose? A bit of interest and six months?   What do I stand to lose with Canfield's Coaching? Six months and four grand. Bottom line is if I don't work the program for myself, then almost certainly I wouldn't have been working it properly for them either.   I mean how accountable can a guy thousands of miles away hold you anyway? It's not like he's holding my money for ransom.   It would be gone already, I would have nothing more to lose.

If I fail to work the program, maybe I'll make that one big charitable donation. That would be a better incentive. Earn $4,000.00 (and then get paid another $4,000.00 to do so) or lose $4,000.00.   Like most people, I'll probably work harder to keep what I have than to gain what I don't. Except in this case, I'd be doing both.

Desire - Why you want it and 5 Ways to grow it.

2009-12-01T17:03:00.000-05:00

Consider the story of the disciple who went to his guru one day and asked,

“Master, how do I achieve enlightenment?” The wise old guru directed

the disciple to the bank of the Ganges River and had him kneel with

his head over the water. Then the guru

put his hand on the young man’s neck and pushed his head below the surface

of the water. After a minute and a half the young disciple was frantic. He

pulled and heaved and flailed his arms, but the grip was like iron. He could

not get his head back out of the water. After two minutes, when it seemed as

though his lungs would burst, the grip was released.

The young man’s head

jerked out of the water and he took great gulps of air into his tortured lungs.

The guru smiled. “Tell me,” he gently asked, “ what was your greatest

desire just then?”

“To breathe,” the young disciple stated emphatically.

“Ah,” the guru said. “When you desire enlightenment to that degree, it shall be yours.”

Desire

This is where I, and most everyone falls short.

D.E.B.   Desire, Expectation, Belief.

For you to overcome all obstacles, particularly the ones we erect within our own subconscious minds, you must DESIRE something to such a near fanatical degree that you simply can not live without it.   Your life is incomplete and you cannot and moreover will not go on as is without it.

For most of us the only time we come to that degree of desire is when we fall deeply in love.   Suddenly we go from merely enjoying someone's company to be willing to 'climb any mountian, swim any ocean' to 'walk ten thousand miles' even to die for them just to have that person in our lives.

But why can't we have that kind of passion for those other things we really want in our lives?

Well, we can.   However we need to develop it ourselves.

First you need to be crystal clear on your goals and why you want them.  If you need help with goal setting review this.

Second, don't worry about how. God/the universe will take care of the How, you just need to be clear in what you want and why.

There are different techniques that can help to develop a burning desire but whichever one or ones you choose to use, you need to consistantly use it until it becomes a habitualized pattern.   Something you do as unthinkingly as having your morning cup of coffee.   You feel something is wrong when you miss it.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence therefore in not an act but a habit." - Aristotle

The Carrot and Stick

You can make a list of how achieving the goal will benefit you, your family, friends and society in general. Make it as extensive as you can.   Choose the top 5 can put them on a note card.  Then make a list of all the negatives that will happen if you don't make that change.   Choose the top 5 and put them on the note card.
Review that note card daily. Put it somewhere conspicuous so you see it all the time.

Visualize

Spend 5 minutes everyday seeing your life as if you have already accomplished your goal. Really put yourself in that reality.   See it, hear it, smell it, feel it in your mind.   Be enrapured with joy.   You're subconscious mind cannot distinguish between reality and something intensely imagined (ever wake up be momentarily uncertain if it was a dream or reality or thing you did something but then realized you only dreamt it?).   If you continuously envision it, your subconscious will accept it and guide you there.

NLP

Neuro-Linguishtic Programing. Like visualization taken a step further.   Envision your currently reality then see in your mind your desired reality smashing through that image. Just shattering it to thousands of pieces. Make your current reality dull, muted, even black and white while your envisioned reality is bright, colourful and vibrant with energy and feeling.   Hold that image of your new reality in your mind for a minute then repeat 3-5 times.   This is a proven way to reprogram your subconcious mind.

Intend it

Expect it to happen.   Fake it until you make it. Put yourself in the mindset that it's a sure deal that that reality is going to happen. No ifs, ands or buts about it.   Doesn't matter what's happening in the present, that's merely the storm before the calm. That future is already yours, it's set in stone, you have simply yet to arrive to it's shores.

Matthew 7:7-8 - Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. (NIV)

As my pastor friend says 'If your going to pray for rain, you better be walking with an umbrella.'

I'll be expounding more or Expectation and Belief in future posts.

Day 60 of the 100 Day Challenge

2009-11-25T16:49:00.001-05:00

While my Challenge buddy hit a mid-point slump and bounced back nicely, more motivated than ever (see her blog), I feel more like I'm trudging through the trenches right now.

My work schedule has been playing havok with my workout schedule. I need to make some adjustments to my workout expectations, not my goals, but my thought that I'll get to the gym 6 days a week.   With the hours I'm now working that just isn't feesible.   So I'll have to plan to work out more from home and hit the gym whenever I can.

Editting my book is going really slowly at this point.   The only time I get to work on it is while I'm on the GO train and many days I've been having to drive in, denying me even that time.    Also, I need a new laptop battery as mine dies after only 20 minutes, really limiting my time I'm able to get work done.

Finding a love interest has been taking some very interesting turns, maybe I'll feel at liberty to discuss them at some point but am not feeling inclined to while they are live and in the moment.   While things have not progressed as one would hope, they are nevertheless progressing and may very well end up as planned.

I have been doing a lot of SEO (Search Engine Optimization) and studying the fundimentals of increasing traffic. Also working on a colour scheme for my new site which should be in development shortly now that I have the money.   Also I have decided to offer free e-books (at least one by yours truly) to obtain the all important e-mail addresses of people (and drive more traffic to my site to collect the freebies).   Then of course use the e-mails to maintain a relationship with those people and generate more return web traffic.  My challenge buddy is also urging me to get on Twitter, which I hope I can automate as my agenda is already overflowing.

My last goal - becoming self-employed - is now almost entirely based off my website becoming money generating and my books getting published, neither of which looks to be happening anytime soon (although I'm still holding out for that).

My website development and relationship goals are really eating up a disproportionate amount of time. At least, far more than I had considered and eating into everything else.   I'm falling behind in many areas, my book, housework, e-mails (I have a backlog of 30 and growing), landlord issues, schooling,  fitness, etc.

Once I get into a steady relationship instead of dating that will become less burdensome or at least more regular and easier to schedule around.   At least, I sure hope so.    The website though is really feeling more and more like a fulltime career and while I won't have to repeat a lot of what I'm doing now, it'll remain a high workload. At least until it's making enough money that I can hire staff.

That's not all bad, as I'm enjoying working on it, I just wish I was seeing quicker and far more substancial results being generated.

Now this is sounding like I'm feeling sorry for myself and truth be told I'm struggling to keep the enthusiasm up at the moment and been really struggling to even find time to visualize for weeks now.

But Cathy, and Gary Ryan Blair (100 Day Challenge) both reminded me in the last couple days that I need to be grateful and they are absolutely right.   Gratitude is essentional to success so let's see what I have to be grateful for:

I have a wonderful tenant that has not only allowed me to be free of financial stress but also ease the burden on my currently unemployed ex and our kids.

Just got a large sum of money!

I am in terrific health, in fact, possibly the best fitness level of my life. I have been hitting the gym regularly and seeing rewarding results.

I got my book editted by a professional and it's getting better and better.

I'm learning a lot and continually enhancing and refining my vision for my website. It's coming along and I'm excited by the possibilities.

I have met many outstanding people, many of which I'm sure will remain excellent friends. I feel truly blessed to have such high quality people in my life.

My son has started working and is helping his mother out further relieving pressure on her plus she's discovered due to a change in rules she now qualifies to EI and will have more money coming in.

I set a goal earlier this year to collect a large library of Wii games without any financial hardship and due to increased income and diligent shopping I've been able to do exactly that.   It's a trivial thing, made more trivial by the fact I've hardly had any time left to even play on it, but it was a fun and relatively easy goal even though when I made it it seemed out of reach.    To be honest, I haven't been appreciating my Wii game library properly.   It seems kinda like a waste of money as some games have barely even been played (although I'm buying them all for $10-$30 and it's not hard to get that much value out of any game in time) and it doesn't really add to the quality of my life.    However on the flip side, it is a testiment of my ability to reach that goal, one I was passionate about, even if it's silly, and it has brought a lot of enjoyment to myself, my family and friends and others I've been able to loan games to on a long term basis.

The same can be said of having found a great tenant.   I spent considerable time and money getting the basement back into shape and it's looking better than ever.   Now that I have a stable tenant I have sort of forgotten about that (and still have some work left to do that keeps getting put off) but that was another successful goal completed brilliantly and I certainly need to show more gratitude for both of those completed goals (which are both also ongoing).

I have many other things to be grateful for, my job which pays well and allows me considerable free time to work on things like this blog, my house and car, my college course (another complete goal!), of course my children with whom I have a great relationship, my friends, and my Awesome God who continually blesses me and constantly reminds me how much He loves me.   And so much more.

So there. I think I've just helped restore some enthusiasm right there as I look at the awesome goals I have completed while I work towards even more ambitious goals, goals that really excite me, still in the works.

40 days left.   I started really fast having the month of October off and now it's time to finish strong!

A New Chapter - er - Article - in my Life

2009-11-21T15:47:00.001-05:00

Well, this is a first.

I have occasionally taken a blog post I wrote for this blog and transferred it over to my self-help site http://www.thecuphalffull.com/ (formerly PrestonsPearls.com) after some slight editting.

Today though I'm doing the opposite. But in a way I'm not. I've written the following article not for my own use at thecuphalffull.com for for my friend. However I did post in on my own website and why not?

As this makes the first time I've written an article in this manner I thought it would be worth noting here as well. I have had other articles published before, notably from anonymousemployee.com, but this is the first done with a hope of driving traffic to my website from other sites. The first of (what I trust) will be many, many such articles (mostly reprints of existing blog entries).

Hopefully, this will help to raise the profile of my site. Can't hurt, it's virtually non-existant now (I do get 1-2 visitors per day).

Pushing Through to the Next Level
By Preston Squire

When the Student is Ready, the Master will Appear.

I met Active Image President Cathy Morenzie at a very fortuitous time. She had just started the Start Fast, Finish Strong 100 Day Challenge and prompted me to get involved too. I had already decided to get more serious about my health and had recently joined a local gym. So when I signed up for The 100 Day Challenge I made one of my goals to put on ten pounds of muscle mass.

That may not seem like a lofty goal but I had tried for years to put on weight, including going to a gym for a year in my thirties and working out with weights while drinking high protein weight gain shakes in my twenties and had only ever managed to gain five pounds at most. For better or worse I was one of those people who could eat like a starving hippo and remain remarkably slim.

Cathy was kind enough to give me a fitness evaluation and set me up on a workout routine. After that I was on my own. During the fitness evaluation Cathy did mention something that really stuck in my head.

Aim to Fail

The mistake most people make when lifting weights is they tend to lift what they can successfully manage. In other words they'll successfully do two sets of curls with thirty pound weights (for example) when they should really be pushing themselves with thirty-five pounds weights even though they may not be able to finish their sets. If you're able to complete your sets, especially easily, then you're not gaining any muscle mass. Your existing muscle mass is up to the challenge and has no need to increase. It's not until you push yourself beyond your (mental) limits, that you tear your muscles and they need to grow back bigger and stronger.

A Strength Greater Than Ourselves.

I also quickly discovered that so much of physical fitness was really mental. As soon as my muscles began to ache or feel weak I would think to myself, 'Ugh, I'm done' and my body would correspondingly respond. Cathy made me realize I had more in me and if I wanted to see results, I'd need to tap into that and push myself beyond those preconceived limits.

So now when I'm about to do a challenging set, having increased the amount of weight or one I had really struggled with previously, I say a quick prayer, asking God to do for me what I can not do for myself. To give me the physical and mental strength to complete the set. As I pray I visualize the body I want and see myself not only lifting the amount I'm about to do but even more.

Am I magically endued with enough strength to lift whatever? No, of course not. I do find it helps considerably and allows me to push myself harder than I would otherwise. Once I really start to struggle I mentally pray some more for added strength until I finish the set, until I'm completely unable to do so or until I feel as if continuing might prove harmful. It doesn't ultimately matter if I finished the set, what matters is by pusher harder and going further, I achieve better results.

And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.
-Matthew 21:22

Results so far have been very promising. Half way through my 100 Day Challenge and I have already successfully put on ten pounds and seen a significant improvement in my build. I have also consistently increased the amount of weight I'm using in my exercise routine, in some cases doubling the amount I started with. However, to be completely honest, I was at a conference for a week, and while I did strive to maintain my workout routine, I think the abundance of free food probably assisted with the weight gain. I would guess a couple of those pounds don't quite quality as 'muscle mass'. However, that's still eight pounds in fifty days with fifty more to go. Consequently I have risen my goal adding another four pounds to my intended weight gain and reaching what I consider as an ideal weight.

So whether you are trying to lose weight, gain muscle or just maintain good health, when you want to push yourself a little bit harder and achieve those results but feel there's nothing left, remember Isaiah 40:31

But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.

Preston Squire is an author devoted to providing free inspirational, motivational and self-help materials. You can find more articles by Preston Squire and others at http://www.thecuphalffull.com/

Day 50 of the 100 Day Challenge

2009-11-14T17:28:00.000-05:00

Wow!! Half way to the finish mark. Time to review and see how close I am to my goals.

I have 5 goals for this 100 Day Challenge which are:

Get my books published
Be earning $1000.00 a month from my website
Put on 10 lbs of muscle mass
Become financially self sufficient
Begin a relationship with my future wife

So I'm half way to the end of the challenge, am I half way to achieving my goals? Let's see.

I hired an editor to review my book, Dillon's Dilemma. She's finished and I am now in the process of revising my book based on her feedback. However, that is progressing very slowly. At the current rate of speed I will not even have it ready to show anyone for months to come. However, if I can get the first three chapters done, that would be enough to entice an agent.

I've done a lot of studying for my website, gotten someone to help design/build it for me, renamed it, have ideas for logos, colours, theme. Need cash to progress. Starting to market it through facebook, forums. Currently make no money but only need 100 people to earn $1000.00. It's doable but I need to get the word out more to drive sufficient traffic. Also need more disposable income to advance website.

This is the area where I am having the most measurable returns having already put on 8-10 lbs. It's hard to say that's all muscle mass but most of it is. To be certain I'm now shooting for another 5 lbs (175 lb total).

Book is moving forward and that could dramatically increase income. Website is progressing and that could significantly increase income. Stock market trading has been studied and put on the back burner for now until I have sufficient cash to invest. Lots of potential but zero realized. Need to start generating measurable results.

In hindsight, I wonder if this goal wasn't a mistake because it requires outside forces that I have no control over. Regardless, I have been actively dating and meeting many wonderful woman. Again, a ton of potential but little realized.

I need to be more structured and disciplined in my approach. I need to set more short term targets and aggressively work to meet them. I need to become more serious and focused. I also need to have more fun doing all of this because sometimes it all (even dating) feels like a chore and there's no passion in that.

At this point I do feel I'm behind in some, ahead in others. Finding a book publisher by Dec 31 (originally Nov 30) seems very unlikely but certainly remains a possibility.

Earning a thousand a month off my website also seems unlikely since I'm still at zero but certainly possible with some aggressive and successful marketing.

Being financially self-sufficient will depend on the two previous.

Weight goal reached and extended! Need to improve diet, and consistancy. Also switch up program.

Romance is really difficult to measure since I have no crystal ball to see who my future wife will be. I may have a relationship (of a sort) with her now! Or I may not have even met her yet. The search continues.

Day 45 of the 100 Day Challenge

2009-11-09T15:19:00.000-05:00

Almost to the mid-way point and I'm hitting a real lul. Yesterday was my worst day for the entire Challenge thus far having only worked on one of my five goals and ignoring all others. To be far there was a lot of emotionally intensive things going on and I mentalled checked out afterwards but I think the important thing here is the overall loss of momentum I've experienced over the last couple weeks.

Momentum is great once you get it going but it can be very hard to maintain over a long dry period when you're not seeing the results you're hoping for.
Which is why it's always great to surround yourself with other upbeat and optomistic people. However, currently many of mine are also facing significant challenges at the moment. Even my challenge buddy is currently feeling off key and she didn't do any better than I yesterday.

Once lost it's harder to build momentum back up again but there's no point in mopping over that. It's natural to have your ups and downs and even the every best of us won't be performing 100% every day. The idea isn't to never have a downturn, although that would be a nice ideal, it's to not get discouraged when it happens. That's the time to really show what you're made of, roll up your sleeves, dig in your heels and carry-on.

According to Anthony Robbins, 90% of people quit just 10% away from achieving success. I don't know if it's true. I'd wager most people quit a lot further from the finishing line than that. Hell, a lot chuck of people quit before the race even begins! Regardless, a lot of people DO quit just prior to making it.

It's always darkest before the dawn.

There's truth in that saying as no one goes through life without meeting adversity. For some reason the greatest adversity always seems to come before ultimate success. Many allow it to deter them, a select few choose to see the opportunity the adversity provides. They do not allow failure to deter them, in fact, they relish the failure because they see it as a stepping stone to success.

Even without failure, a general lack of results can be disheartening and discouraging. A good way to help avoid this is to set a lot of goal posts along the way. When you're only looking at the end result it can seem impossibly far away. For example, if you were to drive from New York to LA and be stuck behind a slow moving truck the entire way, then when you went to check your progress it could be really disappointing to see you're still days away. However, if you've set small goals along the way, you can take heart in reaching each one. It may be behind schedule (and another part of the trip you might go faster than expected) but it's a surefire sign of progress.

Keep setting daily goals for yourself. Measurable goals and put them in order of importance. Likely you won't achieve them all but even if all you get done are one or two, and since your prioritized they are the most important one or two, you're still going to feel pretty good about it.

Also remember the past doesn't equal the future. Just because you haven't had any luck finding a job or a lover for the last three months doesn't mean you won't find one today or tomorrow. However, if you allow those three months of disappointment to affect your attitude then you could be setting yourself up for failure.

So what if you're off track, things haven't gone as you planned and you've met failure (or at least lack of success)? Welcome to Life 101. That's how it goes for each and every one of us at one point or another. Be grateful for what you have, envision your goals even more (I know you don't feel like it), really rekindle the fire and KEEP moving.

You can bet I am.

Hiding in the Closet

2009-10-28T13:30:00.000-04:00

"You lack drive," she said.

"What?!"

"You have this wealth of knowledge, you feed on it everyday, like an I.V. into your bloodstream, yet still you move so slowly. I'm sure you're going to make it, eventually, when you retire maybe, but you should be bursting at the seams with all the positivity you have."

She's right.

So what's holding me back? While Sigmund Freud's theories may no longer be in favour, he is right that our adult behaviour is often an echo of our childhood.

When I was a young teenager I started to suffer from depression and anxiety. I rarely ever speak of it, rarely think of it, but years of my life were lost in that black abyss. My mother was bi-polar and was heavily medicated for the entire time I knew her. They took me to a psychiatist of course and medicine was prescribed but I refused it. It made me happy alright, but only on the outside. I'd be smiling and playing while still feeling like I wanted to cry. That lie was more painful to me than living the truth of the pain I was in and finding a way through it.

The world seemed so overwhelming at times I would lock myself away in a closet, often for hours on end. Alone with just my thoughts and the occasionally unwilling cat. Talk about being in a dark place in your life. My external situation matched my internal. All darkness and gloom with just a sliver of light beaming in to suggest there was hope out there somewhere after all.

Ironically, the closet that frightens most children gave me the most comfort. I felt safe there. No one to bother me. No one to introduce some new stress to my life. I could relax and try to sort through my feelings.

It became an escape and a crutch. Whenever problems arose instead of dealing with them, I hid. I could no longer function in society at that time. School was simply too much for me too handle and although I went as often as I could, that became progressively less and less. Depression was consuming me.

Finally, fed up and out of ideas my father evicted me (he might have tried listening to any of the myriad ideas the experts kept suggesting to him but my father was a stubborn and shortsighted man. It was his way or the highway). Suddenly I was forced to deal with the world. Not in the limited way of a child but in the very real way of an adult with no one to depend on but themselves. And with no closet to turn to!

What happened? I rose to the occassion, brilliantly. I found shelter, found a job, found better shelter and continued to get promotion and promotion and better accommodation. Met a sexy young slip of a girl from Trinidad and married her. Discovered Anthony Robbins and began dramatically increasing my life. I had gone from mental slavery to success!

Until my marriage collapsed, then I went right back into depression and had to work my way out. Now I had two young children depending on me and a strong desire to straighten myself out so I could save my marriage. The latter never happened but I did get myself back on my feet and proved be a productive father and eventual single parent.

I continued through life, successfully if not as passionately as before until I reached my goal of obtaining a government job, a house of my own and living a happy if limited existence. I was never fully content to remain there, knowing I could do more, should do more, was meant for greater things but although I was pumped full of success thinking, I remain lackadaisical in my approach. Lacking drive.

Why? Because I was right back in that God-damn closet!! Only it was a lot bigger now, consisting of a nice house, a comfortable civil servant job, a selection of good friends and a hobby of collecting movies or video games. Plus the occasional woman but they never seemed to last. That may not sound like a closet. Hell, that's where a lot of the world stops and settles down but it's still a comfort zone that I've grown accustomed to and don't really want to tread out of. It's safe, sound and secure and as long as I limit myself to it then the world doesn't bother me and I can be alone to sort through my feelings - which I spend far too much time doing, as well as helping others with there's.

Doing the 100 Day Challenge as really pushed me into finding this reality.

Question is now what?

In order for me to be truly successful, the 'closet' has got to go. As long as it's there, the temptation to return to it, whenever life doesn't go according to plan, will persist. It's like a trap I keep falling back into. And since I'm surrounded by people at work doing the same thing, it's easy to accept. Thank God I've surrounded my self with people who are also success driven and who won't let me sit peacefully on my laurels. Do I quit my job? Sell my house? Cut off some of my old friends? Then what?!

Then I would finally get my book published, get my website really going, buy a bigger house and maybe find a nice wife to go with it and be right back in an even bigger, roomier closet but a closet all the same! The question I'm facing right now is how to make my life comfortable without becoming trapped in a comfort zone?

I'm Back & Day 31 of the 100 Day Challenge

2009-10-26T14:08:00.000-04:00

While it was unavoidable, last week was unfortunate as far as my 100 Day Challenge goals go.

The hours were rather brutal with meetings going from 8:30am until 10:30pm some days leaving virtually no time for anything else. The only thing I managed to find time for was hitting the gym and only twice at that.

So since my last report I really have nothing to report as gains for any of my goals and my relationship goal is now back to ground zero.

If I sound frustrated I'm not. Not even about having to start fresh with finding a 'soul mate'.

I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.
- Thomas Edison

Creeping doubt is one of your worst enemies and I have been struggling with it myself as we all must do.

I was listening to an interview with Helene Hadsell an 80+ year old woman who has used the Law of Attraction to obtain outstanding results in contests winning a house, two cars, numerous trips and a ton of other things.

The interview was a sales pitch but they revealed a lot of nuggets of wisdom. One of the most basic but fundamentally important is not allowing doubt to creep into your mind. It must be rebuked at every turn. One person used an elastic band on their wrist and gave themselves a good snap every time a doubtful thought entered their head.

I love how Helene phrased her method, 'First you Select what you want, then you Project it, then Expect it and finally Collect it.' Select, Project, Expect, Collect, utterly simple in concept, though very difficult in execution, at least at first.

When we visualize, powerfully, emotionally, consistently, we set the gears of the universe in motion on our behalf. However the instant we allow doubt to creep into our minds those same gears come to a screeching halt. If we catch and rebuke the doubt the gears will begin again. However the longer we indulge doubt the more those gears dissipate until they are gone and you are now creating a new reality based on your own doubts and fears.

Of course the world doesn't revolve around mere wish fulfillment, it requires dedicated action but your predominate thoughts also affect the actions you take. If you are totally confident you are going to succeed in something, if you 'know' it, you act very differently than you do if you don't believe that you can accomplish the goal. You take totally different actions. The first is powerful and purposeful, the second weak and half-hearted.

Let's look at Helene Hadsell for a second in this regard.

If she wanted to win a trip to Europe she would seek out contests where the prize was a trip to Europe. She diligently paid close attention to the rules and ensured she followed them to the letter. (When was the last time you diligently studied the rules for a contest? Probably never.) Once entering she would dedicate time to visualizing herself winning. To aid this she would become familiar with the prize so she could clearly see herself there (or in possession of it). She emotionally placed herself there, feeling the excitement and joy of winning. At no point did she allow doubt to enter her mind. She expected to win. She simply knew she would.

Did she? Not always, of course not. But she never let that deter her. God's delays and not God's denials. She merely rolled that vision over into the next contest. Accepted that it wasn't the right one for her to win to feel her joy, or that someone else had wanted it more, but always 'knowing' that her winning the trip (or prize) was assured and if it didn't come from this contest, it'd come from the next. Consequently she's won far more than mere odds would allow.

Another gem she gave was that most people, when they visualize success do it in an excited/anxious way. They are hopeful to win, they really want it, they're really praying for it and optimistic God/the universe will deliver. However that's a different feeling from the grateful tranquility of 'knowing' that God/the universe has already delivered it, you have just yet to arrive. The first is constantly bombarded by doubt, clawing at the seams of your faith, ripping it every time something seems to go against you whereas the second is doubt free. It simple is, there's no question it'll happen, as long as you create the opportunities, God will provide the answer. You don't know when or how it'll happen, just that it'll happen. Period, no ifs, no ands, nor buts.

The same thing is true in relationships. We all know that already but we sure as hell don't always act like we know it. How many of us, myself included, like to wallow in the loss of what we had. How many of us like to put ourselves down and tell ourselves we're not good enough, somehow, to find a wonderful person to be with. How many like to pretend there's no such thing as a good person, that all men cheat and all women lie. Many of them do yes, and possibly every one you're been with but that's because that is your expectation. Maybe not originally but from the moment you got burned the first time, you started associating that with the opposite (or same) sex and drawing more of the same into your life.

I know God has a wonderful woman lined up to be my wife. In fact, I know that he has a multitude and even if I screw it up the first time, there will be another, and another. I look forward to meeting her and living a rich and rewarding life with her. And I know she's coming sooner rather than later and that fills my heart with joy. So I'm not frustrated, no. I'm glad the false attempts are being discarded so that I can step towards the right one, in confidence that it's closer and better than ever.

Same goes with my other goals. I've lost some time and some focus but I'm still heading towards them, still working towards them, still confident I will arrive.

Day 24 of the 100 Day Challenge and I'm off for a week

2009-10-19T09:25:00.000-04:00

I wish I had some dramatic news for you today but I don't. Been keeping very busy however there's been no change to the status quo on any front. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes change happens overnight but usually it's the result of tireless effort, a little bit day by day compounding over the weeks and months into something substantial. So the important thing is to not lose focus. On that front I must admit, there are days where my focus has not been as sharp as it needs to be. Especially when life comes crashing in unexpectedly and sidetracks all your plans.

Therefore, I'm now spending 30-60 minutes every morning praying/visualizing. Thanking God for everything I have and for the realization of all my goals.

For the next week I'm out of town at a conference and I'm not sure I'll even have internet connection, let alone time to blog (or do much to progress on any of the 100 Day Challenge goals).

Day 20 of the 100 Day Challenge

2009-10-16T23:07:00.002-04:00

Gary Ryan Blair of the 100 Day Challenge talks about making a quantum leap. He defines a quantum leap or leapfrogging as "An advance from one place, position or situation to another without progressing through all the stages inbetween." An example being going from a bank teller to a Vice President in one year.

He argues if you leverage the knowledge and experience of others and act as if success was assured you can leapfrog over all the intermediate steps that people normally have to take to get from one level of success or being to another much higher level.

As soon as I saw that I told my challenge buddy that if anyone in the world should be able to make a quantum leap it ought to be me. I am a self styled expert in personal development having read dozens of books, movies, audio messages, videos, etc. on the subject. My mind is literally stuffed full of wonderful advice that I generously share with my friends and on my site http://www.prestonspearls.com/. So that was my goal, to make a quantum leap and she was to hold me to it.

However, as one might imagine, as time progressed on, I did not have much to show for it despite working towards the majority of my goals on a daily basis. I began to wonder if it was possible, or at least possible for me. If it's possible at all is another question, as I must admit I've never heard of anyone doing such a thing.

Today though was a great day.

Two very significant events happened that have restored my enthusiasm and confidence in leapfrogging forward. The first was my book editor finished and handed in my completed book. She has been very encouraging and insightful. She has also blessedly ripped the crap out of my book. I mean that both figuratively and literally. It's painful to see big chucks of ones work scratched out but one flaw of all writers is that we tend to fall in love with our characters and settings and want to add too much about them. In other words, add more than is strictly necessary to move the story forward.

The second event was that my website http://www.prestonspearls.com/ has now officially started to be developed into a full blown website and not merely a blogspot blog. Articles and reviews will be broken out into areas of their own, apart from my blog, a forum will be added as well as some free downloadable content and more.

Apart from that this week I took a two day training course in stock market trading. Studied how to make a successful content website, added a few blogs to http://www.prestonspearls.com/, and received a fitness routine from my friend who is a personal trainer. Heck, I even did some modeling.

The only goal that hasn't distinctly moved forward to realization is my romance goal and while it's progressed, there's nothing definitive to say there.

If I can get my book published (and sell well) and turn prestonspearls.com into a money generating site then I should be able to quit my day job and work full time on writing and blogging! Getting paid for what I love to do and having an unlimited potential income. That's my quantum leap. From civil servant to self-employed author/blogger.

We'll see how close I am in another 80 days!

Day 11 of 100 Day Challenge

2009-10-06T22:51:00.002-04:00

It's hard to believe that just two weeks ago I was wondering what I could possible do to fill my 3 weeks off work, that would further my goals. I was worried I'd end up wasting the time. I couldn't see what would require to me need 8 hours per day for 15 days to make it happen. For at that point I had nothing planned at all, no goals set, nothing but this spiritual prompting to that the time off.

Now that I'm here, at the start of the time off, I think exactly the opposite. That there isn't possibly enough time in the 3 weeks I have to get even half of what I want done.

I have a manuscript to re-write, a website to redesign/ promote/ create partnerships for, college homework and classes, gym workouts, stock market trading materials I'm studying, outstanding maintenance work for the apartment I've rented out, plus I'm trying to find a new steady girlfriend which requires dating and getting to know different women until I meet one that really clicks.

I'm not sitting around wasting time. I'm not walking in faith. I'm running!! I'm spending my whole day, working towards my goals and I tell you there's never enough time for everything. I'm beginning to wonder if I've bitten off more than I can possibly chew. Certainly I'm at the point where I need to prioritize and plan out my goals now to ensure the most important ones get the attention they deserve.

100 Day Challenge - 10 Days In

2009-10-05T18:01:00.003-04:00

It's been a while since I've blogged. Fortunately, it's because I've been keeping myself busy trying to achieve my five 100 Day Challenge goals.

One of those goals is to find a way to really improve my other blog, prestonspearls.com and start generating a significant income from that site.
Part of that, necessitates blogging though so I'm committing myself here to at least 4 blogs a week on each site. Although, not all of those may be mine. I am hoping to have some guest bloggers who offer some different perspectives or venues of self-help be it fitness, finances, coaching or what have you on prestonspearls.com. It wouldn't make any sense to have guest speakers on this blog, naturally.

So, what have I accomplished in 10 days. Not as much as I would like. Old habits die hard and life has a way of constantly crashing in on your plans but I do have some results:

Regarding the blogs - I have one person helping me to learn better network marketing techniques and another to redesign/build a proper website for me. I still need to fully grasp what that will ultimately look like. I'm starting to look at other comparable sites (some of which I will be partnering with) for ideas.

Regarding getting published - I have hired a professional writer/editor to review my book and give me feedback. I've done some research and learned in today's market, at least in Canada you really need an agent. Few publishers will even look at a writer without an agent.

Regarding being financially self-sufficient - Both of the above tie into that, but also I've been looking into trading on the stock market and getting some help with that. Gone to one seminar and going to a two day training session soon. Also getting some research material that I'm studying. Another avenue I'm looking into is selling my blog articles to print magazines or perhaps writing an e-book to sell on my blog.

Regarding putting on muscle mass - I've gained 3-4 lbs and some noticeable muscle size on my arms and chest. Nice! On Wednesday I'm getting some professional coaching from my challenge buddy who is a personal trainer. Thanks Challenge buddy!!

Regarding romance - Well... Let's wait until I have something really concrete before I go sharing anything on that front.

Also I stumbled across the most amazing find. The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles. It's out of print and public domain. Therefore, it's not worth it for anyone to promote this book since they can't sell it. However, this is the book that Rhonda Byrne spoke of in the beginning of 'The Secret' and is one of the original sources that brought about today's self-help industry.

I've just finished reading it and if you're ready to accept what it says as fact, I'm sure you'll find this a very powerful read. It has already altered many of my perceptions in life. Amazingly, the website I downloaded the .pdf version of the book from has pulled it just days afterward. I was able to find another here:
http://www.soilandhealth.org/03sov/0304spiritpsych/030412.Wattle.Getting.Rich.pdf

I'm now on vacation, although this is a working vacation as I intend to use the time off to fully pursue my goals. Specifically, to help make what Gary Ryan Blair of the 100 Day Challenge calls a 'quantum leap'. To go from the merely existing comfort level I'm at now to truly living the life I want. I don't think I'm going to become rich in a month, but I do hope to have set the foundation for it to happen. God will do the rest as long as I keep moving in faith.

Well That Didn't Take Long - 100 Day Challenge

2009-09-27T09:23:00.002-04:00

It's only the next morning and already I'm feeling overwhelmed, over-committed and demotivated.

What happened to all the 'rah rah' can do spirit? That nasty thing that likes to disguise itself as 'reality' has slipped into my consciousness which it's mountains of data disproving such things are possible and the haze of the future where the way cannot be seen.

Already my day is full, and I still have to do more goal setting exercises which I can see where I'll find the time let alone working on the goals themselves, plus my other commitments like college and kids.

But I am not going to allow myself to be so basely deterred. This is not 'reality' that I'm hearing. Reality is make I make it. Sure my current reality is I work for the Government of Ontario but only as long as I chose that reality. Right now I'm choose to step into a new, strange and unfamiliar reality, and it is daunting.

What I'm hearing is my own subconscious paradigms struggling to retain their current status. Remnants of a childhood where my beliefs where instilled in me by the world around me before I was old enough and wise enough to decide truth for myself.

The 100 Day Challenge asks you to start your day with a bang. Jack Canfield in his article on Goal Setting (see Prestonspearls) advises to do the biggest, most challenging task first and get it out of the way so the rest look easy. So instead of allowing this feeling of defeat to overwhelm me instead I took a step towards getting my book published. I'm eating eggs for breakfast - something I almost never do, to increase my protein intake.

Achieving my goals will not require a massive amount of increased work, but it will require a massive change in my daily habits. It will require a massive shift in my mindset, a commitment to excellence, to boldness, to persistence and to faith.

I'm listening to Joel Osteen as I write this and he's preaching exactly what I need to here right now. Ultimately, my success is not about me. I am just the conduit. It about allowing God to flow freely through me, running in faith, boldly, to glorify Him. In other terms, asking the universe, clearly, consistently, specifically for what I want and then accepting - when I don't understand, when it scares me, when it's outside of my comfort zone. Typically, we want to feel like we're in control but if you want massive change you cannot continue to run the ship the same way as you always have. You have to learn to let go and let God.

100 Day Challenge

2009-09-26T18:58:00.002-04:00

A friend of mine send me an email about Gary Ryan Blair's (GoalsGuy.com) 100 Day Challenge (www.startfastfinishstrong.com).

This was an amazingly timely happenstance as I had just recent been introduced to this friend and had (totally unbeknown st to them) taken the month off October off work for the very purpose of repositioning my life.

Let me back tract a second.

It had been weighing on me for some time that my current place of employment was stagnating me and that I should take October off to make some significant changes in my life. Problem was, I didn't know what kind of changes. So I procrastinated, and even planned to take time off earlier but it the spirit was just on me to wait until October. So I resisted taking time off in September when I could have used it for some renovations I was doing but continued to procrastinate about taking October off.

What would I do? What if I do nothing and just waste a month? Why do I even feel this way? Why is this idea in my head? Is it Divine or just me?

Finally, last Wednesday when the feeling was still persisting I decided to take a leap of faith despite my anxiety. My office has a staff conference in the third week of October and there was no getting out of that but I requested the other three weeks off to the surprise and slight dismay of my immediate superior. She was a little skeptical it would be granted but she allowed me to send it to the Regional Manager. The Regional Manager called me immediately upon seeing it, but once she was satisfied I would be present for the Staff Conference signed off on it. Once she did a sense of peace washed over me. I just felt I had done the right thing but still was totally unsure of why I was even doing it.

This is simply the way it happens sometimes. If you are persistently envisioning or praying for something then you had better be prepared to receive some strange compulsions to do things that A) will be outside of your comfort zone and B) may make no sense to you. Follow them. You've got to learn to trust in forces beyond your understanding (God).

So I have a month off. I know I need to use it somehow to make some fundamental changes in my life but have no clear idea how.

Suddenly here's this 100 Day Challenge for the last 100 days of the year. What perfect timing. The basic concept of the 100 Day Challenge is to get you to Set specific goals and take tremendous action (To inspire, promote and celebrate excellence). Perfect. After looking it over I immediately signed up, cost notwithstanding as this was exactly what I needed to ensure I maximized that time off. Even better, my new friend was taking it too so I would have someone to support, motivate and monitor me and vice versa.

The program starts you off with a bang. That is to say, a ton of material to go through and a large goal setting exercise component. I'm still going through it.

But I have set 5 goals for the 100 Day Challenge which I'll summarize for you for you too, my reading public, will act as my motivator and monitor too.

1. Get my already complete books published
2. Put on 10 pounds of muscle / tone my body / establish healthier eating
3. Develop my website/blogs into profit centres
4. Be earning enough money from my own sources (writing/blogs/etc) that I no longer need my 'job'
5. Meet a wonderful woman who greatly enhances my life and vice versa and have a strong, passionate and healthy relationship with her.

So, now you can follow me as I stop living an average life and start applying everything I know after 20 years of success to create a truly compelling life by the end of this year. Or worse case, learn from my mistakes. But this is the test. This is where the rubber hits the road and the I finally put every I preach about into hard practice.

And you have a ring side seat. Welcome along for the ride. And remember, if it worked for me, it'll work for you.

Tossing Anger out the Window

2009-09-11T14:24:00.004-04:00

This is one of those subjects that I'm always torn about when it comes to this blog.

How much of my personal life do I really want to reveal for public scrutiny for the rest of my life and even possibly beyond?

However, the whole point of this blog is to show the very human side of someone who's made it big. To show that successful people are really no different than you are, dear reader, except in the way they choose to organize their thoughts.

Anger is not an emotion most people associate with me. I'm a very calm and cool natured guy. Every few people have ever seen me angry but when I do lose my temper I tend to be loud and intimidating.

It's not a trait I've ever appreciated but for most of my life I was just of the opinion that 'that's me'.

Well it's not actually.

Technically, it's my father.

My earliest childhood memory is of being 3 years old. We had just moved into a new apartment and I was walking out of the kitchen and into the adjoining living room when I walked right into my father who was coming the other way.

I stopped abruptly, looked up and saw him scowling down at me, annoyed.

That in itself was no big deal, but what jumped out at me, even then at that tender age was my immediate thought.

"Oh no!! I've bumped into the Big - Bad - Monster!!"

He was not my father in my mind, he was just a monster that roamed the house and occasionally yelled at me or beat me. For some reason, it occurred to me then and there that this was indeed my father and shouldn't a father be thought of as a loving person and not a monster?

Now one of my ambitions in life was to be nothing like my father and for the most part I feel I have succeeded in that endeavour. However, my anger issue is really just a childhood learnt behaviour. A behaviour I adopted from that very same 'monster' despite the fact that it put an irreparable gap between him and I. So why am I continuing it?

I was talking to my ex-wife the other day and I asked her, from her perspective, what was the main reason she never wanted to get back together with me. Let me stress, I've no interest in getting back together with her either but I wanted to see what she would have to say to identify my own charater flaws and improve on them. To my surprise her answer was my temper.

Obviously it had to go. The realization that it was part of a subconscious paradigm that I had developed as a child, and learnt from my father, helped me to realize that it was not 'just me' at all. In fact, being an angry, inconsiderate ass, is in no way, shape or form part of my internal self description of who Preston Squire is.

The only way to get rid of a subconscious paradigm is to write over it with another paradigm, a new code of conduct. NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programing) or visualization is the usual suggestion of Bob Proctor, Tony Robbins and other success-based speakers but for more immediate and powerful results I find the most effective course of action is self-hypnosis.

I'm not getting into a discussion on hypnosis here, suffice to say I have used it before to great effect.

So my new code of conduct that I'm trying to implant goes something like this:

Anger is an invalidation of self. It goes against everything I identify myself as being.

The only possible response to someone who is upsetting me, a disagreement, or other situation that makes me uncomfortable is love, compassion and understanding. For the only reason someone else would be doing anything that would be making me feel uncomfortable or upset is because they themselves are uncomfortable or upset because of something that I am doing. Therefore the only way to permenantly remove this issue is to listen acutely to that they are really saying (reading between the lines) and help them to find a resolution to put them out of discomfort that works for both of us.

Such a person may need to be complaced with love and compassion before they will be willing to accept my help and I'll have to show that I can understand where they are coming from (even if I don't agree) so they will be willing to allow me to help.

But once I've helped someone to be free of their pain they will love me for it.

I see it like the difference between the man who, when an angry lion comes roaring, bashes it away with the biggest stick possible and the man who sees past the roar, calms the beast down with his demenour and removes the thorn from it's paw. The lion will either retreat and resent or attack the first man but it may give it's very life for the second who had shown it such kindness.

It's still early and there's been no serious challenge but so far results from this approach seem to be working very well for me.

Mental Shift - Tossing Lack out the Window

2009-09-06T12:25:00.004-04:00

Wanted to take a moment here to comment on something. A profound change that has occurred in my life this year.

Before I used to manage my money right on down to the dollar. I knew where every dollar was spent and projected where every dollar would be spent. As you might imagine, life very rarely followed my budget. Unexpected needs would always arise and I would always stress on where the money for that was to come from. Many times I was going into deficit and things would be put off endlessly waiting for money to become available, which it never did.

The biggest change occurred right at the beginning of the year when the people I rented my basement out to were unable to come up with rent money, yet again.

Having these tenants stressed me considerably because I was depending on their money to pay my bills and I never knew when they would get the money to me and how much they would have.

The realization came to me that according to Law of Attraction you always attract more into your life of whatever you think and feel about predominately. While I was visualizing and focusing on getting more money, my predominate thoughts were of stress inducing LACK. That had to end.

So almost counter-intuitively and acting in faith, I evicted my tenants when they didn't have rent by the required date. Sure they may have come up with the money in a few more days but wondering that would cause me stress. And the stress had to go. I also stopped budgeting my money despite being in a definite deficit situation. Instead I just walked in faith that the money would take care of itself.

You are probably thinking I am a complete idiot and this thought certainly occurred to me more than a few times. Now to be clear, I didn't become Polly-Anna with my money, spending it willy nilly. I was mindful of my amount I had and tried to spend accordingly. I made some rearrangements of the finances to ease the situation. However, when there was something that was needed, I bought it, even though I knew I didn't have the funds for it. I didn't fuss over it, I just walked in faith that the money would come and focused on having enough.

So have I suddenly become rich? Not materially, no not yet. But this has given me great peace of mind. I no longer fuss over money. For much of the time, unexpected money did come in and my finances were not as devastated as I would have thought, although my debt did increase significantly.

By the time September can, I was so at peace with my finances that I was able to sign up for a college course and a gym membership without feeling any tightness about where the money would come from. Shortly after I signed up for the college course I found a new tenant for my basement - which had been empty for the entire year by choice. Since I had become quite accustomed to living in my smaller budget (although I was in deficit most months), the additional income from renting out my basement now seems huge and more than sufficient for these added costs.

What I want to impress on you is that I had never in my life taken a college course and had only taken a gym membership once for a year because of the cost factors involved. I simply believed I couldn't afford it. And as I believed so was my reality.

I am now doing both and no longer in deficit although my total income has not changed from what I had at the beginning of the year. I have freed my mind from thoughts of lack and become a freer and richer person because of it.

Wedding Planning

2009-08-27T10:43:00.006-04:00

My fixation on finding someone continues unabated. Outside of work it seems all of my time has been taken up with this agenda. Meeting women, chatting with them, responding to messages, talking on the phone, trying to find the gems amongst the rumble which is no easy task.

The woman I spoke of last time is certainly a rare gem but that's no guarantee of success in and of itself. Still, it's always a pleasure to find one and I continue to explore that possibility.

I was meditating on finding that certain someone when it came to me to start planning the eventual wedding. I don't feel that thought was my own but one that was given to me and along with it the realization that by focusing on my wedding plans, it would keep me focused on the end result (and not the immediate results which are often disappointing), positive (because I'll have to force myself to think positively whenever I engage in wedding planning) and passionate since that's what I really want and it'll be fun to really make it come true even if just in the confines of my mind.

It also forces me to set a date which is always a must for any goal. If you have no date to aim for, then it can just drag on and on, inching forward and occasionally retreating and still be seen as progress. Having a set date forces you to do more, risk more, focus more in order to achieve the result in that time limit. It also states to the universe (God) when you want to see results. There's no guarantee you'll achieve your goal on that date, God's delays are not God's denials, but you'll be a whole lot closer than if you didn't. However you must treat them as immutable for them to have an effect.

The other great aspect about planning a wedding is that it forces me to visualize it in extreme detail. Right down to the flowers, decor, invitation cards, cuff links, etc. The more often, the more specific my visualizations, the more passion and excitement in visualizing the more rapidly the universe will respond.

The only real problem is I can't tell anyone. Well, I have told my good friend because she understands the Law of Attraction. In fact, she's a very powerful influencer with it. Many times now I have seen her use it to create results and more than once I have ended up somewhere, had the very distinct feeling she was somehow responsible for my being there and upon investigation found it was something she had been visualizing on my/our behalf. So I put her to immediate work visualizing my wedding too.

Now I expect to many of you, and to most anyone else I know the very idea of planning a wedding when I don't even have a girlfriend sounds inane and insane. Which is why I'm not actively advertising the fact. Except, of course, here on my blog. Lol. However, none of my friends are currently reading this - I think - and if they do, it probably wouldn't surprise them.

What will and does surprise them is how I continually manage to attract high quality beautiful women into my life. And when I say I knew all along I was getting married a year from now, and they don't believe me, they will soon find themselves reading this post too and being amazed.

Dream girl?

2009-08-19T12:25:00.002-04:00

It's been a few days since I've posted and while there hasn't been anything to really blog about I was feeling like I'm neglecting my duties here.

Currently my focus has been fixated on finding a new woman in my life. Everything else has been put on the backburners and I devote a lot of time and energy to this task.

I've reached a point in my life where I would really like to find someone to settle down with. Really I've always been hoping for that but I'm really very tired of dating. So I'm being very specific in what it is I'm looking for and trying to attract.

While I have no interest in getting into the details of my love life on this blog (sorry ladies), I do appear to be making progress. I've been chatting with someone who really seems quite special for the past week and I'm looking to get together with her soon. It's really too early to say anything but this woman does remarkably, startlingly almost, resemble the image I've always carried of what my wife/soulmate would look/be like. An image I've had since even prior to my first marriage.

Hispanic
Long black hair
Lovely facial features (looks very much like I've always envisioned)
Slender/sexy
Not a big talker but what she says is open, honest and deep
A good motivator for me, driven
Passionate
Loyal
Gives 100% of herself
Etc.

Now I'm just starting to get to really know this woman but it's just errie that now, at this point in my life where I'm really wanting and feeling a need to settle my love life that such a person comes around, someone so close to my mental image of what my soulmate would look like.

Be Still

2009-08-15T08:58:00.003-04:00

Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God"

http://zenhabits.net/2009/07/be-still/

I think in my own personal walk in life, this is the area I struggle most in. Ironic isn't in. That doing nothing is the most difficult thing to do?

But being still isn't really about 'doing nothing'. You are still doing something. You are connecting with Source/God. However to us physical beings, that non-tangible essence doesn't seem like it would or could fulfill as well as tangibly doing something, or having something or thinking something 'productive' or talking to someone, etc., etc..

I am particularly bad at being still. Even when I'm not doing anything at all I have to fidget, play a video game or my mind will be going full bore and while I may not be physically moving much, I am hardly at rest. Even simply watching tv (which is also not being still) can be a struggle for me, as I hate the feeling that I'm idle.

Moreover, I lack patience. It pains me to have to wait for something, especially if I cannot see the progress being made. This is self defeating. Law of Gender and Law of Attraction here are butting heads.

Accordingly to the Law of Gender - once the conscious mind has placed a seed in the subconscious mind, that seed begins to grow. As it grows the subconscious is naturally using the Law of Attraction to bring that into reality. However, like any seed, it takes time to germinate, grow roots and then then finally come to the surface where you can begin to see it's progress.

However, when I am impatient am I thinking about how this seed will grow into a beautiful flower and how beautiful it will look? How nice it will smell?

No, I'm thinking about what's taking it so gosh darn long. I'm thinking about wasted time. I'm thinking about how frustrated I'm becoming. And through Law of Attraction I'm bringing MORE of that wait, wasted time and frustration into my life. I'm stagnating my own darn seed's growth!

Over the last few days this message of 'Be Still' has been coming into my life repeatedly. I really feel as if God is really trying to work on me in this area. While I welcome it, I must admit I am struggling with it. However, I always find blogging about it helps me to learn about myself, and apply that which I know. 'Dr. heal thyself'

So why do I have trouble to 'Be Still'? I could list off a bunch of reasons but it all boils down to one thing. A lack of faith. Unless I am able to be hands on, unless I can actually witness progress, unless I know for sure in this physical plane that it's coming along as it should then I am discontented. I am not trusting in God to handle it on my behalf.

If I know something is important for the well being of my children, of course, I make sure it gets done. If my children need something and I tell them I'll look after it, while they might feel the need to remind me, they are not sitting around stewing wondering if it's going to be done. They trust me.

Now fortunately for them they can ask me at any time about the progress but generally, they busy themselves with other matters content that I will let them know when there's something to know.

In the same way I need to simply trust in God/Source/Law of Attraction. Make the request, plant the seed and then trust that God has it covered. It's perfectly alright to remind God that I need something as long as I'm coming in faith. Or as long as I continue to blissfully visualize that coming into my life.

But that's easier said than done, at least for me currently. Which again is why being still is so important. The ability to relax, empty your mind and just connect is invaluable. By doing this you allow pure Source energy, the holy spirit, to flow into and through you. New ideas will flow as will peace and tranquility.

In our hectic days it seems totally counter-productive to take time out to do 'nothing' but in doing so, we revitalize ourselves and make our working hours so much more productive.

So I'm going to forthwith commit myself to talking 5-10 minutes to meditate a day. To reconnect and so visualize the successful completion of my desires - then forget about them, trusting God will do the rest.

Totally aside - Completed my 10 day challenge!!

Success

2009-08-11T12:12:00.003-04:00

If you follow this site, then you know, or at least I sure hope you do, that the premise is to document one person's rise from living an average, non-exceptional life to one that is truly outstanding and the thinking and beliefs that lead to that rise.

The problem is, it's a bit of a lie. Why? Because, I have already achieved success. However, you probably wouldn't define it that way.

By and large people have a very superficial definition of success. It looks something like this:

Must be a millionaire or better
Must hold a position of importance
Must have an attractive partner or partners
Must be healthy and in North America that generally means muscular/sexy body and plastic surgery so you have an attractive, youthful appearance as well as good overall health
Probably famous
Owns beautiful mansions, cars, clothes, etc.

I think most anyone would agree a rich, handsome, well built man with a gorgeous young wife and lots of ostentatious wealth would be a poster child for success.

Motivational Speaker Anthony Robbins understands this and that's the life he leads. He has to. Not for his benefit but for yours.

Let's face it, if Tony gave all his money to charity and lived and dressed very modestly, if he didn't work out and was as skinny as he once was, (although still healthy), if he married a very average or below average looking woman (even if she was an outstanding personality) and if you had never heard of him, you would not for a moment think he knew anything special that was worth listening too. At least, not without someone else recommending him.

So even though, at his core he was the exact same person, living his life exactly as he chose, living a life of boundless happiness, married to someone whom he loves and is loved by deeply, with fantastic knowledge that could change your life in an instant, you would not perceive him to have achieved success, at least not unless you got to know him. Anthony must have all those superficial signs of success on display so people will listen to what he has to say.

Here's another example of success that flys contrary to the thinking of the masses.

Mother Theresa.

Was she rich? Heavens no. She lived an extremely modest life.
Was she beautiful? Internally yes, where it mattered but she not a women men would look twice at.
Did she hold a prestigious position in life? Not my most people's standards.
Did she have an attractive mate? Not a worldly one, no, never.
Was she healthy? Yes, but not in the Hollywood sense that North Americans use to define it.
Did she own lots of great things. No.
Was she famous? Yes, but she did not seek it nor would it have made her any less of a success if she wasn't.

Let's face it, if you took her out of her religious attire and put her on the streets people would sooner think she was a baglady than a truly successful person. I'm sure you would agree they would be horribly wrong.

So then how do we define success? What makes a person successful?

The difference between a successful person and everyone else, is a successful person is defining the life they live while everyone else is allowing life to define them.

To put it another way, successful people are walking in faith. They are asking God for what they want and walking towards that in faith that the Lord will provide. They are not limiting what they are asking for, for they know that the Lord has no limitations. They are not living in doubt or fear.

Although they face daily uncertainy because the way forward is not clear it does not disway them. They have come to the firm realization that like walking through a dense fog, as you make each step forward you'll be able to see your immediate surroundings and take another step forward. Even when they do bump into something, that's okay, they expect and accept that that is going to happen. They just move around the obstacle and keep going. If they come to a wall they trust God will provide a way over, under, around or through and diligently search for that until they find it. If they step off an abyss they know God has a rope around them and will pull them back up. So while it may frighten for the moment, they do not doubt in their heart they'll soon be back on solid ground. In time they make it to where they are going.

Everyone else meanwhile avoids the fog, worried they'll get hurt or lost or merely be directionless because they don't know where they are headed to begin with. So they either move away from the fog, and have their path defined for them by the fog of life or sit still, not going anywhere, until the fog and their life passes away.

So to succeed you must have a clear vision of where you want to be that emboldens you, you must have deep lasting faith in your heart that you will arrive there and you must, must, must be taking action to achieve that vision (do not wait for God to place it before you, boldly go and claim it).

Vision, faith, persistant action those are the hallmarks of success. Even if you have not yet arrived, you are defining what life you are living and that is success.

What everyone else is doing, irregardless of their place in life, irregardless of how many of the superficial signs of success they have, is merely existing.

So our poster child of success could be rich and famous because of his parents, could have a gorgeous partner and many fancy things because he has money, he may even be given ownership of the family business but without vision, faith and persistant action of his own, he is still merely existing and is no more spiritually rich or fulfilled than a pauper. He is not successful, he is merely a dim shadow of the success that came before. So do not put stock in those worldly things.

Success is a state of mind, a state of being. And I have already arrived.

Concert

2009-08-10T11:14:00.004-04:00

It's been longer since I blogged than I had thought! Where does the time go?

First up: Still doing well on my 10 day mental challenge. Now on day 8 and feeling fine. I'm actually quite pleased with myself, for this is showing me just how far I've come. When I first took the challenge many years ago, I had to be constantly safeguarding my thoughts. Now though, positivity is my habitual way of thinking, even when I'm feeling down, I hold optomizism in my heart, that it will turn around even if the present is unpleasant.

Secondly my weekend was great. I spend Saturday volunteering at a Christian music festival (www.musicinthesquare.com) which a friend of mine organizes. I had an active organizer myself in it's first year (2006). In 2007 a poorly formed core group fell apart killing the event and in 2008 my friend was too busy with wedding plans to give the event the attention it requires. This year I only made small contributions of my time so I only watched from the sidelines as it took form. This years event was the best ever, although threat of rain kept the crowd disappointingly small. Nevertheless I couldn't help but marvel at the realization of my friend's dream.

The other great thing about it was that I was able to spend the day with my old girlfiend (who was also volunteering). We've been talking all along but being together (which he havn't done since Easter) allowed us, or perhaps just me, to redefine our relationship more fully. And although she's no longer my lover, she is a wonderful person and a highly valued friend. She might also contribute to my sister blog - Preston's Pearls.

Otherwise, there's not much to report aside from the many day to day issues. I did get a couple ideas for blogs for Preston's Pearls over the weekend (in addition to my Step series) so keep on eye there for more.

High Intention, Low Attachment saves the day

2009-08-06T16:06:00.000-04:00

This week has been a very tumultuous week for me on the relationship front.

Amazingly, even to me, is that despite the heartache and emotional rollercoaster I have been able to keep my overall outlook positive. I do believe I will find someone, that someone who I'll truly love and be able to share my life with. While I am already in love, it's not looking like my current situation can survive and so while, on one hand, I'm hoping things work themselves out, I am also remaining open to someone new.

High intention, low attachment. Man, I love that concept. It's a life saver! Previously I would have focused all my attention on one specific person, thinking they were the only ones who could make me feel so fulfilled, despite it being a, most likely, lost cause. Now I'm not entirely giving up on that either but I am not making that person my be all and end all either. In the end, it's a certain state I want to achieve and it doesn't necessarily have to be one specific person to acheive that state. If someone else can come in and fulfill my needs and take me there (and vice versa of course) then you can bet your bottom dollar all the love I currently have will be gratefully shared with that person instead.

However, in the short term I think it's time to 'turtle'. There's been a few too many ups and downs of late and I'm feeling the need to retreat, restabilize, refocus and then restart fresh(er).

The Rollercoaster

2009-08-04T11:11:00.000-04:00

The last couple of days have been an emotional rollercoaster.

Sunday started well, went sour and then surprisingly improved. That improvement carried on into Monday which was a good day but then ended bittersweet. I'm not about to go into details here but I will say I'm reminded of the age old adage - Be careful what you wish for, because you just may get it.

Also I've been very emotionally open and that's left me too prone to be carried too and fro emotionally by various people in my life. While I hate to do it, I think I need to close off for a bit, steady myself, reestablish that it is I'm after and then focus on specifically that.

In the meantime, it's important that I keep my focus and energy going. In today's Six Minutes to Success, Bob Proctor spoke about Crisis and Advancement which sums up as follows:

Advancements of all type are always proceeded by a crisis.

The greater the crisis the greater to opportunity for advancement.

So whether it's the current economic crisis or our own individual crisis (of whatever scale) you need to not be looking at the crisis itself but looking for that opportunity for advancement. Obviously it's easier to find the former - it's staring you in the face after all- than it is to find the latter but it's the latter than matters. That is your growth opportunity and place where you will find balance.

I'm still learning as I go along, just need to not become jadded and remain faithful that my desires are being met. Usually, the universe just needs to shape us up in order to meet those desires.

Dang - One life to live

2009-08-02T07:49:00.000-04:00

I have to restart my 10 Day mental Challenge (effective today) because yesterday I allowed my self to dwell (and discuss) how frustrated I was in one area of my life so here we go again from Day 1.

I don't mind much, while it's annoying and disheartening I do take solace in the fact that if you are doing this challenge as well then you will know you're not alone in struggling to make 10 days.

I watched the Curious Case of Benjamin Button in which Brad Pitt plays the role of a man who is younging instead of aging. He's born old and gets younger as the years go by.

It's a thought provoking and touching movie and ultimately I found it very sad but not for the reasons you may think. While my daughter was crying because he died a baby in the arms of an old woman who had been the love of his life, I wasn't really touched by that (it was a pretty obvious conclusion), I was greatly sadden because here was a man who had lived a truly unique life, held a unique view of the world, unique experiences and challenges and although he had done and seen a great many things in his time, once he was gone, there was nothing left of him except a journal which because of it's inconceivable tale would probably never leave his daughter's care. A daughter that had never even know him. Really, when the old lady passed away so did any last trace of Benjamin Button. Like vapour in the wind.

What a tragic waste. Yet, it is any different than you and I? If you were to die, right now, what mark will you have left behind? Think about it. Most people will at least live on through their kids, somewhat, and hopefully they were a positive contributor to their child's psyche and didn't instill unwittingly a lot of their own limitations into their children's lives (got you thinking now, didn't I). But once those who knew you die, what's left? Anything? Will it have mattered at all that you ever lived? Does that even matter to you? Perhaps you're content to just go through life, experience it and then when it's up it's up. Like a day in school, and you're just another student passing through for a few years.

But the greatest thing we bring to this world, is our diversity, our individuality, our unique outlook on life. We are all Benjamin Buttons. We all go through life on our own unique journey, gaining experiences that while maybe shared, still hold a unique meaning to us, developing our own unique outlook on life. And while it was tragic to lose Benjamin Button's perspective because of his special circumstances, is it really any less of a loss to lose your special perspective? Of course, none of us live forever, we are all but passing through. While we are here, we have an opportunity to shape this world, to craft it in our own image, our own vision and leave a lasting impression on this world that will signal out to generations yet unborn and be a warning, an inspiration, a statement, a question or a general betterment of life so that because you suffered, you have made sure no one else will ever have to suffer again.

Everyone who has left their imprint on this world from Napoleon, to Shakespeare to Nelson Mandela to Alexander Graham Bell have all been great men but they are still just people, exactly like you and I, no different, no better, no greater except they determined that they wanted to make the world a better place (from their perspective and in their own method) and didn't allow the general river of life to pull them along. Instead of going with the current they stuck their paddles in the water and made their own way charting a new path for all to follow or learn from.

Benjamin Button did touch on a couple of interest life points too, like you never know what tomorrow may bring. At one point Benjamin is just a happy crew member of a tugboat company, a comfortable if unambitious position but one day, that boat is commission by the navy as they enter the second world war. For the most part life continues as it had before, only what they were hauling changed, until they come across a u-boat that sinks them and destroys the life Benjamin had taken for granted.

Despite the fact that the last 5 years have been rout routine does not guarantee that tomorrow will be. You could win the lottery or be shot. You could find true love or get into a violent quarrel that ends it. You don't know, so you have to work on today, making the most of it, being the most of what you can be and doing what you can to make this world a better place, now, while you still can.

On the flip side, Benjamin meets a woman who had a dream, to swim the English Channel and she tried as a young lady to do so only to fail because of inclement weather. She had always meant to try again but her faith was crushed and instead she fell into a life of comfort and quiet desperation. However before the end, she somehow regained her faith and tried again as a mature woman and succeeded.

In the same way, it's never too late to realize your dreams. Certain opportunities may pass you by never to return, you cannot become a star Olympic athlete at 80... unless you switch from being a gymnast to being an equestrian jockey. Unless you change from being the star to coaching the star or sponsoring the athlete. As long as your alive and of right mind, you can still find a way to make it happen and you absolutely have an obligation to yourself to do exactly that.

We are here, with but one shot at this thing called life, even if you believe in reincarnation, do you really want to do all this over and over again until you get it right? My son had to repeat grade 10 math three times and trust me, he never wants to do it again. He'd have been much happier if he had applied himself the first time and never needed to repeat it at all. So commit yourself to live the life you truly want to live and be the person you truly want to be. You will not always succeed, sometimes inclement weather will scuttle your swim across the channel but take heart, if you're alive then your dream is alive too and you have but to try it again, and this time you'll give yourself the grace to postpone a day or two if need be to get the right weather. Nothing is ever a failure as long as we do not fail to learn. Any experience from a failed relationship to a fail business is not a failure in our lives or out character as long as we've learned from it and can apply that knowledge going forward. There are always more people to love and more business opportunities to try one's hand at and if you stick with it, you will succeed. Successful people don't fail less, they fail more and learn from each misstep how better to proceed.

You are your own unique creation. You are your very own Benjamin Button or Edward Scissorhands. Embrace that, don't follow the wide path but strike out on your own in a direction that seems best to you. Win or lose, the world is better off for your endeavors and so are you. Find a better route and suddenly the world will stop calling your crazy for going into the harsh bush country and call you genius for having the foresight and fortitude to find a better way. In doing so you'll leave a legacy for the world will be forever altered for the better by your presence.

Changing state

2009-07-31T11:11:00.000-04:00

I don't give any credence to biorhythms but I must admit there are days where I am more charged and enthused than others. This would definitely be a 'down' day.

I am still maintaining my own 10 day challenge, so I'm being diligent to now allow my thoughts to wonder into negativity. Which is great, especially on a day like today. However, I still have a general feeling of malaise that I'm all too eager to get rid off.

Blogging is one way I am using to put myself back into positively charged territory. And I'm thankful for it because it's a blog on success and motivation so it's forcing me to be thinking on those lines.

I have gotten to a point where a positive enthusiastic state is my natural state and where the one I'm currently in feels unnatural to me. That alone is a great relief for once upon a time the very opposite was true.

Now, how do I get out of this state?

First, it's helpful to know why you're in it in the first place. As I've mentioned many times, our emotions act as an alarm system of sorts, letting us know when our thoughts are out of alignment with our desires. For myself I believe a large part of my current state is due to uncertainty in a lot of areas of my life. I'm procrastinating on several things, including some major life changing decisions. Procrastination itself is due to a lack of a clear set of values and goals. If you have clearly defined values, prioritized so you know what's most important (a lot of competing values will cause endless procrastination) with clearly defined goals that you're passionate about then procrastination simply cannot exist. You immediately know what is important to you and move in that direction. So obviously, I need to sit myself down, revisit my values, revisit my goals and then apply those onto the various issues currently confronting me.

God, I do love this blog. How often do we know what to do but don't apply it? Writing in this blog forces me to self-medicate. To do what I know, otherwise I'm just being hypocritical and that is simply not acceptable.

In the short term I need to take a page from Tony Robbins. In Awaken The Giant Within, Robbins teaches that the mind and body are linked. If you are in a negative state of mind, you tend to slouch, move slower, frown, look down and lack energy. If you're in a positive state you have more bounce in your step, move quicker, smile, look people direct in the eyes, stand up straight, etc. You can look at most people and from their posture alone know the state they are in so it's obvious that the mind affects the body.

However the opposite is equally true. If you force your body to move in ways that are associated with a particular state, your mind will be pushed into the corresponding frame of being. Don't believe me? Try it. Sit down, slouch, frown, droop your arms and legs and then try to enthusiastically scream 'Happy Birthday'. It's possible but you'll immediately know it wasn't done with the same intensity it would have been if you were standing and moving normally. It would just feel off.

So if you find yourself feeling down, get your body moving!! Lots of energy, smile, big movements, and do something silly like skip around or do pinwheels with your arms while singing 'I'm the very model of a modern major general'. You won't possibly be able to remain in a negative state.

In fact, I'm smiling just thinking about it.

What Are You Thinking About?

2009-07-30T14:34:00.000-04:00

It's pretty basic really.

Whatever you are focused on is what is getting the bulk of your energy and attention. And regardless on if you want to look at that in the metaphysical 'Law of Attraction' way of calling that into existence or just the purely phyiscal reality that while you are fixated on one thing you cannot be constructively doing anything else it all boils down to the same thing.

You are what you think about.

But what are you thinking about?

People, by and large, are not in the habit of monitoring their thoughts. They just let them flow wherever they want and after a time, like water running over loose soil, your thoughts start to flow into well worn tracks. You have a habituated pattern of thought whether you realize it or not.

Are those thought patterns serving you? Do they inspire you? Or merely frustrate?

For the vast majority of people, their thoughts are focused on the things they do not want. They see the world as it is, complain about it to themselves, tossing and turning it over in their minds, contemplating it's unfairness, before sharing their discontent with other likeminded people.

This is pointless and worse, distructive. It goes without saying that if the situation makes you unhappy then you should be seeking to change it but if all you are doing is looking at what you don't like, then no energy is being spend on creating or moving yourself towards what you do like. You're merely wasting your energy, time and life.

Take the 10 day challenge!

Over the next 10 days I want you to be conscious of what it is you're thinking about. If you find you're thinking in negative terms, immediately change it into the positive. So instead of complaining about how it's wrong, try to see how it could benefit you, or on what you could change to improve your situation. If nothing else, force your mind onto another, positive subject altogether.

Do not let your mind dwell in the negative for more than 1 minute. If you realize you've been dwelling negatively for more than that, restart your 10 day challenge.

Daunting isn't it? But why should it be? Really?

It takes no more energy or effort to think positive, enlifting, productive thoughts than it does negative, disempowering ones.

The purpose of this exercise isn't to make you into a polly-anna person who only sees the cup as half-full. It's to make you aware of your own habituated pattern of thoughts and how limiting they are.

Most everyone who takes this challenge seriously will be stunned by how much they dwell on what they don't want and equally surprised by how much they improve their lives, in many dozens of little ways, by focusing on solutions or what they can be grateful for instead.

I myself am taking this challenge and will report in this blog daily as to my results.

July 30 - Stopped complaining about not being able to reach my girlfriend on the phone during the day and instead reinstated text messenging (I had blocked it because certain people waaay over do it costing me stupid amounts of money - I'm just not telling them it's unblocked) so I could message her and let her know I care.

Stopped complaining work was boring and created this post.

Focus

2009-07-28T21:16:00.000-04:00

Focus is an absolutely key element to success. It's also one area where I struggle the most. It's an area where I have always struggled, at least at home. Ever since I was a child I always struggled to focus my attention in the home, particularly on homework, however, take that same assignment and give it to me in class and I would have no problem completing it.

Throughout the years I have always found it easier to focus on tasks when around other people. My book was predominately written on the GO train and Tim Hortons, even though I have a desk and had a PC (now laptop) in my home, I rarely used it for such productive work.

As I write this, I'm reflecting back to what Bob Proctor said about paradigms.

Any set of beliefs that form a habitual way of being is a paradigm. The problem most everyone has is that their core paradigms were established when they were children, and are based on beliefs and values that other people instilled in you. Commonly your parents but also friends, siblings, teachers and an assortment of other people in your life all helped shape your beliefs. The problem is that this is done at an age when you are not able to determine if they are values and beliefs you want to have, or that are helpful to you. You merely accept them carte blanche and have probably never stopped to even think about why you have them.

Now for myself, looking back at my childhood I see that my father never worked when he came home. My mother did all the housework and we lived in an apartment so there was no maintenance required either. So all my father would do when he arrived home was watch tv, eat, regal us with stories of his greatness at work, watch tv and go to bed. Obviously my brothers didn't work either. So have I subconscious just absorbed a belief that says you do not work in the house? That work is only done outside of the house? And it's developed into a paradigm that subconsciously controls my actions?

Best way to break limiting beliefs is to associate great pain with the old belief and associate great pleasure with a new empowering one by using NLP - Neuro Linguistic Programing which is a fancy term for empathic visualizations.

More on this later - when I can focus - lol.

Alone

2009-07-25T18:26:00.000-04:00

It's ironic.

The epiphany I've had has so dramatically changed my life and in some pretty ironic ways.

I've gone from being totally emotionally independent to feeling lost without someone to relate too. I've never been in this spot before in my adult life and simply don't know what to do with myself.

Before my lovers would often want to talk about top plate issues all night long and I would grumpily want my sleep by midnight. Now I find myself unable to sleep without having had that emotional closure of nightly discussion.

Previously I used to be able to aptly distract or busy myself when alone but now I'm simply dying to talk to someone, my girlfriend preferably but she's busy, a friend perhaps or even just a complete stranger would be an emotional relief to me at the moment. This is a strange, uncomfortable feeling for me and I can't help but wonder if I haven't swung too far into emotional dependency. Or perhaps this is a normal state to have, it's just new and uncomfortable to me.

In the past video games have been great past time but now I not that interested in them unless I have someone to play them with. Arrrgh. I feel like my whole life has been upended.